


Twilight: Bi Brown Boy Bella AU!

by Phantom_Diamond



Category: Twilight Series - Stephenie Meyer
Genre: #BiBrownBoyBellaAU, Discussion of Death, F/F, F/M, M/M, Twilight Series Rewrite, Vampires, casual weed use, characters will be tagged or grouped as they are introduced, have any advice for me? please? XD, light biphobia, light homophobia, surnames will be changed in-story to reflect a character's change in race/ethnicity, talks about anxiety, talks about depression, uh...i'm a new author to ao3 with no idea how tags work
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-07-09
Updated: 2021-03-04
Packaged: 2021-03-04 22:47:20
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 23
Words: 161,244
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/25164145
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Phantom_Diamond/pseuds/Phantom_Diamond
Summary: So... I basically wanted to create a self-insert of a self-insert (Bella) Twilight AU where there are several differences to the source material, hopefully positive changes, that is primarily focused around Bella being a teenage Mexican-American, bisexual boy. Same story you know, with obvious elements having been changed to reflect a queer, boy of color version of Bella!
Relationships: Edward Cullen/AU!Bella Swan
Comments: 30
Kudos: 47





	1. Same Old Forks

**Author's Note:**

> Ok, so! Hi! I'm Phantom Diamond, but call me Phantom! :D
> 
> Please take the time to read this beginning!
> 
> So, continuing from the summary, yes?
> 
> This is the same Twilight story you know, with various changes overall, with significant changes to various human & vampire characters in terms of race, gender, and sexuality. Bella is the obvious and most noted change, as he is now a queer, brown, Hispanic boy! For the other changes that come with my version of Bella and the others, you'll have to read and see! :3
> 
> Alongside making Twilight more diverse, I also wanted to pay appropriate respect to the Quileute people! I used a website called Truth Vs. Twilight ([Link text](https://www.burkemuseum.org/static/truth_vs_twilight/quileutes.html)), to try and make the fictionalized shape shifting Quileutes more realistic and human. That being said, I do keep some elements to the fictionalized magic Ms. Meyer has created while incorporating info from Truth Vs. Twilight to try and remove the tropes and stereotypes Ms. Meyer had whitely used for them.
> 
> Disclaimer: I only know my experience as cis, bi, Mexican-American man. What this means is that I welcome and require positive feedback and critique in terms of the changes I aim to depict in my version of Twilight in the comments. The last thing I want to do is to stereotype or incorrectly portray anyone's race, ethnicity, sexuality, gender, or cultural identity. I acknowledge that I am prone to making mistakes that fall through the cracks, and if I do, I hope to kindly be corrected and educated. Thank you!
> 
> All the same, I hope you enjoy my version of Twilight!

Ya know, I have to admit there have been rare moments where I would imagine how I’d die.

I could be in a classroom, taking a shower, or eating McDonald’s when the thought would cross my mind. My train of thought always leads me down to thinking of how I _don’t_ want to die.

Freak accidents, mother nature’s unstoppable might, suffocating, being killed by another person. Terrible. Completely terrible. But I definitely do _not_ want to drown to death or burn alive. Both sound awful, both have horrid consequences should you survive…

Had I any more creativity in me, I’d have briefly compared my fear to any number of metaphorical things.

Yet all I can say is that, in the moment of facing imminent and more than likely painful death, I suppose it’s acceptable for me to die in the place of someone I love.

— • —

I didn't understand it. How could someone’s eyes be filled with _so_ much hatred for someone you hadn't even actually _met?_

What the hell was his _deal?!_

I know this is high school and all that, but c’mon! How is it remotely possible to have so much hate for someone that so much as stepped into the same room as you? Well before they're even close enough to speak to you, to say enough that could justify disliking someone based on a first impression?!

Okay, it’s actually quite easy, possibly. But that’s besides the point!!

I had to do some serious mental blocking just to not stew in my frustration too much. Instead, I chose to close my eyes and think about my decision to return to Forks, Washington.

— • —

That's where I used to live when I was still a baby or so. After my mom, Renée, decided to leave my dad, Charlie, and take me with her, we moved to Phoenix, Arizona. _Man_ , did I not tolerate the heat at first. Now I kinda miss it...kinda.

Since the move from the cold, I’d spent about a month of each summer up in Forks with my old man, but that eventually stopped as I got older. Instead, he'd come down to San Diego for some vacation time where we’d meet halfway, and that was personally a better compromise.

I really hated the rain. And don't get me started on snow, ugh.

Well, anyways.

Living with mom was nice and lovely, it was. I mean, she became my best friend. I love my mom, I do.

But Renée wasn't happy. We both knew that she married and had me too young, and I could tell she was just missing out on love during her youth since my dad.

So I encouraged her to date, and she did!

Didn't always pick the best men in my opinion, but hey. You could only lead a horse to water; my mom was pretty scatterbrained and frazzled, and I tended to play her Jiminy Cricket often more than not.

She found true love eventually, in a minor league baseball player named Phil, and they quickly hit it off. I always knew her feelings regarding men before she did. And well, he just made my mom so happy…

Personally, I was proud that they married after three years or so of dating, instead of sooner.

I figured her happiness was more important than my misery, so I shipped myself to Forks to permanently live with Charlie, Forks’s Chief of the very small but reliable fire department, so that she could be with Phil.

Good thing the Olympic peninsula is so damp.

Can't exactly fight fires when it rains for most of the year; Charlie's job is pretty boring for the most part. He was grateful that the most he did in-field was act as a first response and help whoever as needed until EMTs take over.

But he genuinely loves it and all his colleagues at the fire station, and apparently would brag about me all those years I was gone.

How embarrassing. But pretty sweet, too.

Didn't take a genius to tell that he was completely over the moon that I was back in his life and in his—well, now _our_ —home again. I'm just glad he didn't pick me up in a fire truck after I got off the second plane in Port Angeles.

I probably would've gotten right back on the plane, and booked the transfer flight back to Phoenix. Or stow away in the plane’s luggage compartment. I'd seen that in a movie once, but the characters involved injected themselves with drugs that lowered their heart rate and need for more oxygen.

That wasn't too appealing in all honesty.

**— • —**

Charlie already set me up at Forks High, got me an ancient Chevy truck as one hell of a welcome home present, and had politely let me reclaim my room in peace.

I had to admit, though. It was a little unsettling to know my room hadn't changed much since my infancy, aside from proper furniture upgrades since I was last here. For that matter, the house itself hadn't changed much, from the looks of it. Something told me that Charlie hadn’t exactly gotten over Renée.

At least his fridge was adequately stocked, and he had a good variety of food, snacks, and drinks as well. I wouldn’t be hungry living with the old man, that’s for sure.

**— • —**

Anxiety hit me like a truck the next morning. Maybe my own truck, as I'd be driving it to my nervous hell.

Thankfully, Forks High School wasn’t hard to find. I pulled into into the parking lot, and silently hoped my truck wasn’t as suddenly loud as I feared. The surprised and annoyed looks at my truck’s entrance and parking told me otherwise.

It was so awkward, being the new kid in an extremely small school. Everybody knew everybody already, had known each other since they were in diapers. And in comes firefighter chief’s wayward son, coming home at long last. Not to mention the staring, please just stop...

Everyone knew my given name, Beltrán, and it was only a little ( _very_ ) exhausting having to correct everyone for my nickname, Bel. The downside of having a Hispanic name in a predominately white school.

Each mispronunciation equated an internal sigh.

And I was one of the few students with hyphenated names, as far as I could tell. Which made me feel cool, honestly. Like I was in a club all to myself. Although in swift retrospect, that might be kind of sad too. Oh well.

At least I didn't need my school map as kindly given to me by the secretary, Ms. Cope, who also marked ideal routes to and from all classes.  
  
Someone had walked me to every class, and I made sure to get each signature from my teachers as instructed by Ms. Cope. The teachers were all nice so far, except for my math teacher. He made me stammer my way through a class introduction, and I tripped on my return to my desk.

_He was enemy number one._

Lunch came around, and I felt the anxiety of being the new kid with nowhere to sit. Unexpectedly, a girl I recognized from my last two classes towed me to the lunch line, and I recognized her as Jessica Stanley.

Food in hand, she then took me to an empty table where another girl whose name I forgot quietly joined us, too. As the minutes passed, more students joined our table, gathered on Jessica’s free side, and I forgot their names as soon as they were spoken to me.

I waved at the people who called out to me or waved first, like Eric Viloria. He showed me to my government class earlier, and I thought he was kind and perhaps a fellow dork. Eric sat down with us too and I smiled at him. I was suddenly surprised by how just...friendly everyone was.

Even if I wasn't an anxious person, I don't think I'd be brave enough to randomly wave at some new student I didn't even know, in the cafeteria no less.

Anyways. Back to my table and placing names to faces and how I knew them.

I for sure knew Eric, even if just by name. Jessica Stanley was on my left, as she was in my previous two classes, math and Spanish. She was a talkative sort, which went well for as I had yet to find common ground to be chatty in return. But I was finding that she could be maybe too chatty for my nature.

The girl next to my right was Angela...Weber, I think? She was quiet, but by far the nicest and sweetest person I’d met so far. I liked her already, and looked forward to knowing her more.

Angela was kindly reminding me that my memory for her surname was correct after I took a lucky guess ( _score one for your memory, Bel!_ ) when I saw them.

If this was some teen high school show, they clearly would've been the main cast.

They all looked like they belonged in some Los Angeles filming lot and not a high school with a grand total of 358 students (including me), that's for sure. That fact freaked me out a bit. My old high school probably had at least that many in my year alone.

I turned to Jessica on my left, and quietly asked, “Hey, Jessica? Who are...they?”

Judging by my tone, she already knew who I was talking about but turned anyway. She giggled and glanced between me and them as she spoke.

“Oh. Those are the Cullen-Hales.”

_The Cullen-Hales? A hyphenated name? Hyphenated name club, alright!_

“Huh. They're all really pretty.”

Jessica giggled again. “You could say that again. Even the guys, right? I didn't even think a guy _could_ be that pretty til they first moved into town a few years ago.”

I bet she would've loved San Diego or Phoenix. Then again, I found a lot of people attractive in general, which seemed to be something Jessica and I could bond over. Well, at least for guys.

This made me wonder why the new kid was suddenly way more fascinating than those five lovely kids. They certainly were far more instantly captivating to _me._

The Cullen-Hales sat at a table all to themselves, looking bored and not really at each other. They didn't really eat so much as pick at their food with reluctance, but mostly slowly drank from their water bottles.

Weird, but I couldn't blame them. The food here is only marginally better than my old school.

I knocked back a few dry chicken nuggets lovingly dipped in ketchup.

Jessica answered a question I hadn't voiced yet.

“The big guy with dimples? That's Emmett Cullen. The blonde girl next to him is Rosalie Hale, and the blonde boy is Jasper, her twin. Annnd next to Jasper is Alice Cullen.”

As she described each person, I made mental notes of their physical appearances and their names.

Emmett Cullen, for example, looked less like a high school student and more a college quarterback. The guy was just built!

Rosalie Hale was...wow. Beautiful didn't seem to be adequate enough a word. I wasn't a girl, but even I felt a hit of envy for her beauty. She was easily ready to walk the New York runways for Fashion Week.

Jasper Hale looked...well, currently constipated in a way, or perhaps very uncomfortable about something. Like a kid who found the sun to be too bright after looking up at it.

And Alice looked...tiny, especially compared to the bearsona that was Emmett. I liked her hairstyle, a pixie cut I think it was called? Pixie cuts always reminded me of Tinker Bell, a pixie.

“And what about the last boy, with the reddish hair?” I didn't realize I was staring at them all until the unidentified boy suddenly looked over at me and made direct eye contact. I immediately looked away and felt my face get warm in embarrassment.

“That’s Edward Cullen,” Jessica whispered to me with a quiet laugh, having been caught staring too.

“Cullen-Hale...is there a family dispute on surnames going on?” I dared to look over at the table of five again, and was glad that Edward wasn't staring anymore. He picked at his bagel with long fingers and seemed to be whispering something to his table mates.

“Bel, you're weird.” Jessica muffled a giggle into her hand. “No, not at all. They're all foster kids that are looked after by Dr. Cullen and his wife. Except for the twins. Mrs. Cullen is their aunt or whatever, and took them in when they were really young. Apparently she’s unable to have kids of her own.”

She sounded a little snooty when she said that, and I had a feeling Jessica was on the judgmental side of this fence. That was a little concerning.

Angela chimes in, “They moved down from Alaska somewhere two years ago, and they all keep to themselves mostly.”

“Wow. That’s really nice of the doctor and his wife to take in all those teenagers.”

“Yeah, I guess. But they're all together. Like, _together._ I don't even know if that's legal,” Jessica said in a bewildered tone. “Rosalie and Emmett, Alice and Jasper, I mean. Weird, right?”

Look, that did sound pretty weird, okay?

That would definitely be a babbling cauldron of gossip and talk anywhere, but even more so here in a small town. I suppose it's a sort of positive that they're all mixed couples…? Otherwise things might be weird _er_ if they were all white or something.

But I didn't say anything aloud, as I couldn't stop staring at them.

It felt odd to keep thinking this, but they all were _really_ beautiful.

The Hales had a brief conversation together, and I was struck by their beauty. Rosalie was rather statuesque with her blonde hair that contrasted with the honey of her brother’s hair. Jasper also seemed quite lean, very trim possibly.

Sitting across from lean Jasper was Emmett, who was working with some major muscle, and I'd say he’s tall, too. He was definitely the most fit student in this entire school, I'd bet money on it.

Tiny Alice was beautiful as well, but she didn't seem to pride herself on it as her sister seemed to. I couldn't tell how old she was, but I doubt she was a freshman; couldn't assume just because she seems to be short.

What else was interesting was how they were a mixed family. Mixed families weren't too common in my part of Phoenix, but San Diego was very diverse from what I remembered.

It made me happy to see an echo of that diversity here in the cafeteria. And, as I hadn’t yet seen any of my neighbors, I couldn’t tell if families are anywhere near as diverse here in Forks. I hoped they were, honestly.

The Hale siblings and Edward were white, Alice was Black, and Emmett was Asian. I was a little worried for the Hales and Edward, as they seemed especially pale, all things considered. Their paleness made me wonder if I'd lose the bit of tan I had after years of wearing shorts and t-shirts under the Phoenix sun.

Though, if Emmett, Angela, and Eric were examples due to their naturally tanned skin tones, I think my tan might be safe. _What a silly thing to worry about, but here I am._

I dared the chance to peek over at their table some more, letting myself admire them again and hoping they wouldn't look my way like Edward had.

_Wow. Edward is_ really _handsome, it was damn near distracting!_.

I couldn't stop looking at his hair! It was so unique a color and honestly looked so soft, I wondered if it was naturally that soft or styled to look that way...

As a guy with long hair, one could say I have a thing for hair. I knew that much about myself. And Edward’s was this lovely red-brown combination that was maybe the perfect color of a perfect fallen leaf in autumn.

Leaf me alone, I appreciate the little things.

Lunch came to a surprisingly swift end, and the Cullens rather gracefully left the cafeteria. Wish I could be even a fraction as graceful. I wasn’t looking forward to gym class in two periods, at all.

_Crap, did I bring my inhaler from home..?_

**— • —**

After a check of my bag, pockets, and my locker, I determined that I didn’t have my inhaler after all. I hoped it was just in my truck or in my room.

My penultimate class of the day was biology. I happily shared it with Angela, who kindly escorted me to class, and from a cursory glance around the room, it seemed there was only one seat available for me. At least it was a bench table. And of course, it would turn out this way, wouldn't it?

Just guess who was to sit next to Edward Cullen?

Which would've been intimidating anyways, but intimidating suddenly seemed inadequate a word. Because when I met his onyx eyes, the way he looked at me was as though I had just ran over his childhood pet before his very eyes, instead of merely walking into a classroom.

Needless to say, I wasn't at all looking forward to sitting next to him if he clearly thought I was enemy number one without reason.

After having the teacher sign the list of other signatures and tripping over a book on the floor in the walkway, I sat at my table and did my best to let my long hair hide my face.

Five minutes into trying to listen to the teacher, I realized I had already covered this material at my old school, and let myself zone out a bit.

And went right back to thinking what the _hell_ was up with Edward Cullen!

I know I'm not the most typical masculine guy, given that I do have long hair, absolutely love pop music, and I'm not exactly the most fit guy out there. But I didn't get nearly as much unadulterated loathing from even the most homophobic of students back home, if this was a queer issue.

At least, none to my knowledge.

I hope it won't be. I wouldn't help but think that Forks _is_ a small town. I hoped a small town didn’t always equate small minds, in this instance…

Not to mention, I hadn't even said one word to the guy! Who, after a peek through my hair, was clenching his fists in his lap and sitting at the extreme edge of his stool. Away from me, by the looks of it. Was he even breathing? He was so immeasurably tense…

The hour dragged. And dragged. And _draaaaagged.._.

And Edward didn't relax his agitated posture.

The bell eventually rang and he was the first out the door.

I remained frozen on my stool.

What the hell just happened? Why couldn't I get the image of being in a shark cage moments after feeding wild sharks out of my head? Yikes. I liked sharks, but I didn’t think I even liked the idea of them being in my imagination.

“Hi! You’re Beltran Swan, right?” asked some friendly sounding guy.

_Cue deep internal sigh._

Not only did he mispronounce my name like mostly everyone else today, he only used half of my legal last name. Which in some way I’m grateful for, because even I know my name is a mouthful, but still.

When I looked up, I realized I didn’t recognize him from the friendly faces earlier, and gave him a pass for the name thing.

Blonde hair didn't exactly stand out much, I'm afraid. He was rather cute, though, I had to admit, and he was a smiley sort, which brought attention to the freckles across his nose.

“Beltrán Swan-Delgado, actually, but call me Bel,” I said automatically, and he nodded.

“I'm Mike, Mike Newton. Nice to meet you!”

“Likewise, Mike!”

“So what's next on your schedule, if you don't mind my asking?”

“Physical education,” I sighed dramatically as I packed my belongings. He offered a sympathetic snort and expression.

“Me too. C'mon, I'll walk you there!” He smiled brightly, as if it was a genuine delight as opposed to agony. Or perhaps that was just my misery chiming in.

“Yeah, okay! Thanks,” I said happily after I let my theatrics fade.

Mike seemed to be another chatty sort, much like how a puppy happily yaps at their human. He talked with me the entire walk to the gym, him being the more vocal of us two.

But I learned that we had English together (I hadn't seen him but he saw me, just like everyone else), he shared my nostalgia for proper sunlight, as he used to live in Bakersfield, California. I told him I had some family there, coincidentally enough, and he seemed so jazzed by that fact.

I took a deep, stabilizing breath as we got to the gym and the locker room.

I asked him where the coach’s office was and went over to it while he went to his locker. I knocked, introduced myself, and I quickly gave him the asthma and forgotten inhaler spiel, to which he kindly waved it off.

Lucky me!

Coach Clapp was beginning a new sport this week, he also didn't have me suit up without my inhaler, and spent most of the period going over past volleyball victories and the last portion of class going over rules. All I could think about was how my glasses were at risk of breaking amidst this sport, and dreaded it even more.

As I didn’t need to change, I got a head start on leaving the campus, and someone called out my nickname a few minutes later, so I stopped and turned to see who was jogging over to me.

“Oh, hey Mike! What's up?”

Another smile. “Not much! Just wanted to see you off, if that's okay.”

How pleasantly surprising. Or maybe just very surprising. But nice, so I'll take it.

“Yeah sure, no problem.”

We made our way to the parking lot at an easy pace.

“I hope you don't mind me asking, but did you threaten Edward Cullen in bio or anything?” Mike asked curiously with a laugh. “I've never seen him act as weird as he did. Well, weirder than usual, anyways.”

So that wasn't typical behavior for Edward Cullen. Good to know. I guess.

“It's hard to stab someone you didn't speak a word to,” I offered in return. Mike chuckled, and I'm glad he picked up on my sarcasm. We had gotten to the lot at this point, and I forgot where I parked. I stood still for a moment and scanned around for my orange grandpa.

“That’s a shame. You seem pretty fun to talk to!”

The compliment caught me off guard, and I had gently and literally bit my tongue to keep in the sassy response I had at the ready. I was trying this thing where I made myself accept any compliments, even if I didn’t quite believe them.

“That’s so nice of you to say, thank you!” I found that I actually meant that, and my smile was more relaxed because of it. “Well, it was nice talking to you, Mike! See you tomorrow.” Mike nodded and smiled, waved with two fingers, and walked away.

With another quick scan, I found my truck and was about to head for it, only to quickly remember the paperwork I had.

I’m glad Mike’s back was to me, as he was unable to see me throw on the emergency brakes and make a quick u-turn for the main office, nearly tripping over myself in the process.  
  
It was at this time that I was reminded how...quaint the campus was. I think it was the red bricks of the various buildings. Red brick always reminded me of older movies and shows for some reason.

After stepping into the small, warm office, I saw that the motherly secretary was already talking to someone. I saw their hair and instantly recognized them to be Edward Cullen. I made myself scarce against the wall beside the door, zoning out a bit.

Edward’s sharp tone made me quickly zone back in, and I quickly gathered that he was insisting on transferring out of our biology class.

That seemed stupid. It was already halfway through the year! Why would a non-new student want to be switching classes at this point in time? Could you even do that? Was that actually possible? And why didn’t I think of that sooner back home?

All of a sudden, his tone went from agitated to something real smooth and low, and I was almost grossed out. Was he trying to _charm_ his way into another class, even though Ms. Cope has said it wasn’t possible?

Oh, god, was Edward one of _those_ kinds of guys? The kind that just charmed any woman or girl with flirting to try and get their way? Ugh. And here I thought I left those jerks back in Phoenix.

How tragic.

A student came in, dropped off a paper slip into a wire basket atop the counter, and was out the door again. Cold air whooshed in and had me shivering in my sweater, and made me wish I hadn't left my large and thin hoodie in my truck this morning.

Edward Cullen’s shoulders went rigid, he turned around, and once again those _hateful_ dark eyes settled on me. I felt like I should make full use of my legs and just run.

Glancing to the secretary again, he quietly and quickly said, “It’s quite alright, Ms. Cope. Thank you for your time, I very much appreciate it.”

Without so much as another glance to me, he was out into the cold. The doorbell chimed loudly behind him, and I let out a breath I hadn't realized I was holding.

Something clicked in that quick span of time.

Edward Cullen, a boy I hadn’t so much as said _hi_ to, apparently hated me so damn much he was trying to get out of the one class we shared. I didn’t know how to properly process this information. Surely, that couldn’t be true. But that hate in his eyes...it seemed all too familiar to me.

_So much for Forks having open minds, Bel..._

Robotically walking forward, I must've looked frazzled because Ms. Cope softly asked me how my day was. I gave a vaguely positive answer, handed her the appropriate paperwork, and quietly left the office just as another student came in.

The cab of my truck was cold, I slipped my hoodie on, and I took a few moments to gather my thoughts. After realizing the parking lot was empty of most students, I gunned my ancient truck to life and made the careful drive back home.

Charlie wasn't home yet, so I ducked into the kitchen and sat down at the table with an open composition notebook before me.

Since eighth grade, I’ve taken it upon myself to journaling about my day in composition notebooks. Not often, and not for every day, all day.

It was more for reflection, in a way.

Thoughts to put a pin on and come back to later, to properly dissect whatever I was thinking or however I was feeling. I would later type up these entries up for easier access.

My old notebooks came with me to Forks, and are tucked away in the drawers below my bed. This one is brand new, meant to visually symbolize my permanent move to Forks.

As of now, after being home for an hour, I had a good page and a half of my chicken scrawl.

If I’m being honest here, another reason why I’ve taken to writing in personal notebooks is a small attempt to improve my handwriting. It’s awful, and numerous teachers have told me that my handwritten essays are sometimes hard to read.

I didn’t think there’s been much improvement, but I’m biased.

At least my notebooks would be hard for anyone else to read, if they weren’t already familiar with my scrawl. I looked down at the new ink penned into my Forks notebook.

**_POSITIVES:_ ** _nice, new friends(?) in Angela, Eric, Jessica, and Mike; possibly others at table today (_ _work on names, Bel!_ _). Workload seems manageable so far, but get some tutor help for math (maybe from Jessica, or someone else mathy?). Easy to navigate school, after being escorted all day. Free day in gym,_ hell _yeah (see how often I can “forget” my inhaler and not suit up each week/month; be sure to have_ _spare inhaler_ _in_ _locker_ _, ALWAYS). Teachers are mostly nice, as is Ms. Cope (secretary)._

 ** _NEGATIVES:_ ** _math teacher made me give front of class intro; he loses a point. Jessica might be a major blabster; be cautious about sharing info. Edward Cullen_ def _doesn't like me; is possibly a queerphobe???_

Looking at the negatives written out like this made things seem way worse. Mostly because one person alone seemed to be the most significant negative here. _I haven't even said one damn word to him!!_

Being a queerphobe was quite possibly too hasty a snap judgement. But I couldn't rule it out completely, given that I most likely didn’t fit small-town expectations of what a straight boy ought to look like. And yet I also had't given off much an impression that I'm not straight, either, on my first day.

At least, I don't think I have.

I wrote in my journal for negatives, _Small town = swift rumor mill, possibly; keep_ _sharp_ _eye out for phobes. _

I stared at what I'd written for longer than necessary before I closed my notebook and took it back upstairs. And that’s when I saw it, something that wasn't in my room when I left the house this morning.

There on my desk was what looked like an entirely brand new Apple computer and printer!

I set the notebook on my bed slowly, just gaping at my newly occupied desk.

Stapled to the wall along my desk and down its side looked to be the internet cables. And stuck to one corner of the screen was a red bow and on the opposite was a sticky note. I went over to it and plucked the note.

It read:

_My boy Bels,_

_We’ve been planning your move for a while_

_now, and I wanted to make school a bit easier._

_I'm also just real happy you're back, son._

_It was a hassle, but some buds and I set this_

_beaut up for you, dial-up included._

_Welcome home, kiddo._

This was too unexpected. I stared like an idiot at...at my new computer. _And_ printer. This must've cost Charlie a fortune!! And internet service, too? How...how incredibly considerate of the old man!

Oh. That's all it took. Right away, I choked up with emotion and felt my eyes get damp.

I'd never be able to show him my appreciation for such a truly warm and more than generous homecoming.

I leapt into my rolling chair lightning fast, and booted up the computer.

I spent a good while pouring over instructions of the newest Apple computer, personalizing the heck out of whatever I could, and decided to save thoroughly familiarizing myself with it for tomorrow.

My first priority after going over the basics was to reply to the three frantic emails Renée had sent, and after assuring her that I didn’t drown in rain yet, filled my reply with the overall meat of my day. Excluding, of course, my odd, not-meeting and plausibly negative assessment of Edward Cullen.

With all the energy I had over my new computer having been spent, I shut it down and sighed heavily.

With only minor reluctance (I’m sorry, but I just couldn’t stop marveling over _my_ very own computer!), I went back down to the kitchen table and set out to do whatever homework I could tackle in a few hours.

— • —

A little before sunset, I decided enough was enough and took a break. I got up, stretched, went outside to check the mail I forgot earlier, and saw that it was all coupons.

I sifted through those absentmindedly, and found some that made me hungry. A local pizza place was having deals, so I ordered up me and Charlie some grub.

Figured he’d like a chance of pace from cooking for himself, though I remembered that Dad liked to cook. Pretty sure that hasn't at all changed. Nor did his pizza order, apparently. The employee who answered the call rattled off Charlie’s order and went right on to asking what I wanted.

As a small thanks for the truck, computer _and_ printer, I got two additional sides he didn’t usually order alongside his own pie and usual side order. I nabbed a pizza for myself, and counted the minutes after the call ended. One thing my dad and I always had in common was that we loved to eat pizza, and lots of it. It's something I learned when he started to email me a little after I was old enough.

Since there was about 40 minutes until it got here, weather pending, I decided to take a quick, nice, warm shower before it got later, colder, or wetter outside. I'd also have to adjust to the idea of just having one bathroom to share in the entire house.

Afterwards, I quickly ducked into my room to change into my comfiest pajamas pants, some long socks, and usual pajama t-shirt, though now supplemented with a hoodie specifically for sleep. I went back downstairs just as the doorbell rang.

Food was here!

I had the money in my hoodie pocket, so I went on and answered the door. The delivery girl smiled, briefly commented on how she saw me around school, and welcomed me to Forks.

We exchanged food for currency and extra tip, then she was on her merry way. I had just settled the food on the kitchen table when I heard the honk of Charlie’s car as he pulled up.

_Perfect timing! How rare._

Charlie walked in moments later, and called out for me in question. As if there was someone else here, other than me.

“In the kitchen, Dad!”

Dad preferred that I didn't use his first name. Not because I got in trouble or anything, but he thought it was too formal. I thought it was too funny that he squirmed at all at the idea while continuing to call him that, and it's also why I called my mom by her name, too.

But she liked it, and happily welcomed it.

Gathering two plates from the cupboard, I heard him set his things on the couch and sat back in his recliner with a long sigh.

After a moment, he called out, “What’s that smell, Bels?” As if he didn't know, the joker.

“Just your favorite pizza joint after delivery!” I sang as I walked out with the boxes stacked on each other with the plates, condiments, and napkins on top. I placed all the boxes along the coffee table, covering most of its surface, identified which boxes were whose, and he sat up with a big grin. Gosh, he looked so much younger when he smiled real big, all cheese.

“Wow, you went all out! What for, kid?”

He started piling food onto his plate, and I scampered into the kitchen for the fridge, returning with two cans of root beer. He was trying to cut back on quantity, while I had a preference for dark, carbonated beverages overall. More soda for me, basically. With plenty of water, of course.

Charlie was easy to please, sometimes. It was amusing and so endearing. _Guess the old man has become a huge dork,_ I thought to myself, smiling at him as I sat down on a lovingly used sofa chair.

“Just wanted to give you a nice welcome home, since you obviously didn't give me one,” I said sassily, grinning in good nature. He chortled over a big slice of pie, balled a napkin up, and lobbed it in my direction.

It missed by a mile, and I laughed in return.

After he managed to safely swallow his food, take a breather, and drink some soda, he was shaking his head with a flush he had no hope of hiding. I remember Reneé telling me that Charlie wasn't very verbose and was bashful when opening up some, and it seemed it still held some truth.

“Smartass. Thanks for the food, Bels, appreciate it,” he said gruffly, and dug back into his food after a brief pause. _Oh, speaking of thanks…!_

“So...Dad. You _reeeeally_ didn’t have to get me that computer _or_ the printer. But I genuinely appreciate them all the same, Dad. Thank you, really.” It only felt a little awkward to offer thanks to the man, but I couldn’t help the softness in my voice.

Charlie, however, did get visibly embarrassed. The tips of his ears got a little pink, he mumbled something, and went right back to his food. He couldn’t hide the uplift of a corner to his mouth, though, even as he wiped at his mustache with a napkin.

_So this is where I get my shyness from..._

I had a feeling living with Charlie wouldn't be so bad after all. His presumable bachelorhood has left his house quiet and solitary as far as I knew, and he was a quiet man in general. We ate in companionable silence, and he offered to watch some TV together.

We celebrated my first evening home watching some trashy but classy reality show on MTV that I loved, that he was confused by and enjoyed all the same.

I still had some homework, but I’d be sure to finish it before bed. I figured I could easily afford to spend some time with my dad after all these years. It’s partly the least I could do, now that I had officially moved in. And Charlie seemed happy, which was a definite plus.

He eventually turned in for the night, patting me on the shoulder as he passed by only to quickly duck down and kiss the top of my head before bolting upstairs.

Laughing, I hollered after him, “Good night, old man!”

“Night, brat,” was his muffled response back.

I laughed again, turned off the TV, and cleaned up the living room. The pizzas were put in the oven (I learned that Charlie always put his pizzas in the oven overnight, for the quickest leftover breakfast the next morning) and the other food in the fridge.

I went upstairs, tackled the remainder of my homework, and flopped onto bed. After getting comfortable beneath my blankets, I was out like a light. Only to be woken sometime later by rain thundering down on the ceiling.

_One more thing to try and get used to._

Sleep wasn't easy after that, and I had a restless, long night.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Oh my gosh!! I had comPLETELY forgotten to give credit where credit is due!!!!
> 
> So, for Charlie being a firefighter, I found a tumblr post by @ shatterswans on tumblr! I got into contact with them, and they kindly gave me permission to use their idea for my story! Of course, not all of their ideas work for Bel, but still, it was very kind of them and their blessing! :D
> 
> So major thanks to shatteredswans!! Here's the link to that particular post:
> 
> [Link text](https://shatteredswans.tumblr.com/post/621784988290088960/twilight-would-be-so-much-better-if-charlie-swan)


	2. The Mundanity of Settling In

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Bel soon settles into life in Forks, and realizes it's quite boring. He's also curious as to who Edward is as a person, despite some rather rude behavior.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> There was formerly all the text from the first chapter here, but I removed it for now, as it's still in the first chapter. XD
> 
> Just looked too cluttered. XP

English the next morning was an interesting affair.

I walked into the class, saw that the seat I occupied yesterday was still available, and waved to both Mike and Eric when they saw me. Yet it seemed they were upset at each other for some reason…?

Apparently, from observing how tense they were when I spoke to them both or just one of them, they had some competition that I wasn't privy to.

I felt a little like I was a kid again, arguing over who could be friends with who. I did my best to appease them both, but they had an apparent rivalry for my friendship, so I left them to their own devices.

You’d think high school boys would be dumb to each other about girls, but nope.

It was quite easy to temporarily set aside the amusing thoughts of Mike and Eric, as it was after leaving my second class that I was gripped by anxiety all of a sudden.

_What will I do if I see Edward Cullen in between classes? At lunch? In our one class together?!_

Edward Cullen became a fixation of terror. One hour after the other, seemingly endless class after seemingly endless class, and I still had no definite answer to the question of _what the hell was up with Edward Cullen?_

Jessica chatted at me all the way to the cafeteria lunch line, and I used every molecule in my body to keep my gaze fixed on my tray as I followed her to a table.

Only when Angela sat beside me and after others joined the table did I allow myself to glance at _their_ table.

There were only four trays of food being played with.

I exhaled so loudly in relief that both Angela and Jessica asked me if I was okay, and I quickly said I was just daydreaming and proceeded to dive into my food to avoid further questioning.

Mike made a joke about me being a Hoover picking up crumbs, and I almost choked due to my laughter.

That lifted my spirits all the way to biology, where Angela came over to partner with me temporarily as her partner was also absent. It made for a refreshing change of pace.

PE was another issue entirely, but that couldn’t be helped.

I just really didn’t care for being physically active for a grade, are you kidding?

Despite that, volleyball was fun. My glasses didn’t get hit, and I only hurt one person thanks to a toss that went totally wrong.

Mike grumbled at me, rubbing his head while we changed in the locker room, and I was practically begging him to forgive me before he let on that he was mostly joking. I pretended to torment him with my hoodie in retaliation.

As he and I walked to the parking lot, I said aloud, “Believe it or not, I feel like this is the nicest day I’ll see all month.”

It _was_ definitely not as cold as it was yesterday, nor as gray; the sun was out, after all. Still cold, though, even if others had said it was warm.

_They’re crazy._

“Yeah. I like nice days at school,” Mike said with a grin. “Means I don’t have to see Cullen much.”

I raised an eyebrow at him. “I’m not sure if you’re letting me know something about you or Edward, and I wonder if I should be worried if it’s the first.”

He laughed, and explained that the Cullen-Hale kids often go camping with the doctor and his wife on sunny days. They’ve always been outdoorsy types, and have been loyal customers to the sporting goods store his family owns since moving to Forks.

_Hmm. Well, good for their family, I suppose._

Mike and I went to our cars, and, before starting mine, I dove into my jeans pocket to pull out the instructions on how to get to the local grocery store. Charlie asked me to pick up some stuff for the house, and gave me some extra cash to stock up snacks and the like just for me.

A nice gesture that he didn’t need to do. _Point for Charlie!_

Grocery shopping was tedious but brain-numbing. Consulting Charlie’s handwritten shopping list while scanning the aisles carefully required my focus.

I was grateful that I could get everything he listed for the cheapest price and more quantity, while still adhering to under the amount meant for my snack stash.

_Bel, you_ have _to_ _preserve your pop tarts for as long as possible..._

I’m glad it didn’t randomly start raining on the drive back home, as the groceries were all in the bed of Grandpa Chev (a name I chose to lovingly refer to my orange and ancient vehicle). I wondered if Charlie had a spare tarp or something I could use to keep the bed as dry as could be when needed.

Once all the groceries were put away and my stash of snacks joined Charlie’s, I contemplated cooking dinner for the two of us when the voicemail machine’s distant, blinking light caught my eye.

I went over to it and pressed play.

_“Hey, Bels,”_ came Charlie’s gruff voice. _“On my lunch break at work, but just wanted to tell you I’m working late tonight. Didn’t want you to make dinner plans or anything and I not show up. See ya when I see ya, kid. Love ya.”_

Well, that answered that question. I checked the oven to see my pizza box remaining, then checked the fridge and saw that my chicken tenders were still there.

Reheated leftovers in the oven for dinner? You bet.

— • —

It must’ve been around 7pm or so when Charlie returned home. He called out for me, I called back a response and went downstairs to greet him properly.

“Welcome home, Dad,” I said. He went to the kitchen after setting his things down, and I joined him at the kitchen table. ”How was your day?”

He slouched back in his chair with a groan, and slid forward a few inches.

“Absolutely nothing happened,” he sighed. “Besides sitting at my desk for hours with Rico while we went through heaps and heaps of old records to digitally back up. We've been putting this off for weeks, and he was thankfully on my ass to get it done, so we did.”

The name Rico wasn’t familiar, but I didn’t interrupt.

“I tell ya, Bels, being a firefighter in the Olympic peninsula has to be a terrible irony when there aren’t many major emergencies happening.”

“Sounds rough,” I said, biting my lip to not laugh. He gave me a playful glare before sighing again. “Oh, here!”

I brought out his change from my hoodie pocket, and extended my hand to him while explaining that I saved him a few dollars at the store.

“Nah, you can keep that. Don’t worry about it, honest.” He sat up and shot me a smile, nodding in reassurance before I pocketed the money and thanked him.

“And how about your day? How was day two?”

“Ah, it was okay. More pleasant than yesterday. I for sure might have a few friends now. I share two classes with a girl named Jessica Stanley and one class with one Angela Weber. Angela was my partner in bio today, as both of ours were absent. I think I have just one class with a boy named Eric Viloria; he was one of the first students to show me between classes yesterday. He’s nice. Oh, and I think I’m getting along with a Mike Newton. He said his family owns a sports goods store?”

“Ah yeah, Newton’s Olympic Outfitters,” Charlie said with a nod of recognition. “They get all kinds of backpackers and hikers coming in, and the Newtons sure do make good money.”

“Mike told me that Dr. Cullen and his family are good customers there. Do you know much about that family?”

“The Cullens? Yeah! They’re a great family, from what I hear. Haven’t met with Dr. Cullen or the missus much, but they’re kind people from what I gather. Real nice of them to take their kids out of school for family bonding in the wild.

"The doctor is quite the looker, I’ll tell you that. Nurses, other doctors, and patients alike have always fawned over him the few times I’ve seen him at the hospital. It’s kinda funny that anyone thinks they have a chance with him.”

_Huh. Certainly not what I was expecting to hear, but okay!_

“It’s a little unfortunate what I’ve been hearing about the good doc, though,” Charlie added after a moment, sounding let down. “The Cullens keep to themselves, and because of that, people gossip unkindly about them. They’re good people, that’s my opinion.

"Lots of folks figured they’d raise some hell with so many teenagers under one roof, but those kids haven’t sent up a lick of dust in their time being here. Can’t be said for some kids born and raised here. Gossip has people being suspicious of the doctor choosing to live in a small town because it made his wife happy instead of working some big, fancy hospital where he’d be paid what he should be in California or something.

"I don’t understand the point of town gossip, and I try not to partake in it. You do your best to sift through the gossip to find the truth in this town, okay Bels? People can still be a little small-minded, I’m afraid.”

It was by far an unexpected speech to get from Charlie. Only been here two days and one night, and it’s already the most I’d ever imagined him speaking in a single sitting.

I offered him a small smile, nodding. “I’ll do my best, Dad, I promise.”

“Good to hear it, son. Try not to stay up too late okay? I’m exhausted, I’m going to go crash.”

He got up and came over to kiss my head before heading out the kitchen, asking if I needed the bathroom before he showered, and was on his way up.

— • —

It shouldn’t have bothered me that, for the rest of the week, I was partnerless in biology.

Which was extra upsetting, as Edward Cullen’s siblings had all been present in the cafeteria each day. Yet his seat remained a phantom occupant across a sea of eating students and next to mine in fifth period.

My mind’s eye kept showing me each interaction we didn’t really have since essentially running away from me, and how he seemed to absolutely loathe me.

A large part of my mind was telling me it was nonsensical to think that I could have as much power over someone. To send them running for the hills, me of all people?

Please.

Amidst all this pondering, which I tried to keep on campus and not at home (read: I tried), I was pulled from my internal monologue in the cafeteria on Thursday.

Mike Newton was planning a day to a beach with the table, aiming to hit up the shores of La Push in a week or so, and I agreed to go.

I figured it would be great, going to a beach. Wasn’t a San Diegan beach as a kid with Charlie, but it was sea water and sand. How awful could it be?

By Friday, I had been on a rotation of partners and plugged myself with a duo to make a trio in bio. For all I knew, Edward Cullen shipped himself off to the military to get as far from me as possible.

Yet no one seemed to really bat an eye that a brother of five was missing for nearly a week while his siblings were there every day without him.

It could be assumed that he wasn’t in school for good reason, but come on! Back home, I was late for _one_ class and had the main office calling home to question my voicemail as to why I wasn’t in class.

What gives? Honestly, where _was_ the justice?

My first Forks weekend breezed by rather pleasantly! I did as much homework as I could tolerate while catching up with Charlie. He decided to take the weekend off.

“To spend some time with my kid,” he happily told me, when he would normally wrack up weekend shifts during otherwise dull weeks or would go fishing with his pals.

We watched movies, cooked meals together, and spent a good portion of our time merely talking in the living room with the TV on as background noise. He’d knock on my bedroom door, closed or not, if I was there just to check up on me every now and then. To check if I wanted a snack or something, ask what I was doing, just to say hi.

It was very sweet.

I had to admit, it was a change of pace from various activities of Mom’s back in Phoenix, but it was a welcome change of my weekend routine!

Come Monday on the way from English with Mike, I came face to face with a horror I most likely hadn’t known since infancy.

It was snowing.

Everyone was buzzing about the first snowfall of the year, while I was shivering in my thin layers. There were the warmest things I had without overheating me, but perhaps two weren’t enough for _snow._

Mike teased me for my reaction to the falling flakes, and I reminded him that I’d spent most of my life under desert sun and extremely little rain.

This was what must it feel like for aliens from some distant star to come to our galaxy, solar system, and planet specifically. They’d see the variety of weather, experience the snow, and return to whence they came. All without either gifting us with unimaginably advanced technology or punishing us their obliteratory might.

Needless to say, my day was made to be considerably less fun (“worsened” seemed too strong a word) by lunchtime.

The Cullen-Hales were reunited.

Any appetite I had withered at the confirmation, but I still took a tray of food regardless due to the concerned questioning by Angela and Jessica.

I was sitting on the girls’ side of the table, that is to say the dry side of the table, and was quieter than usual.

The other boys had taken it upon themselves to throw snow at one another on their journey to the cafeteria, and I, being one who didn’t want any melted ice on my person, wanted no part of their lunacy.

Mike raved about some epic snowdown after school and was getting Eric involved (which seemed odd, as I pegged them as not being so friendly with each other), and they tried to enlist me into Mike’s war.

I blatantly refused in my most deadpan voice, much to the overall amusement to everyone else.

Once I was finally overlooked for snow, I let my mind wander. And my eyes; they automatically settled on the table the Cullens occupied.

While Mike Newton had formerly frozen water dampening his clothes and weighing down his hair, the Cullen-Hale brothers looked like they stepped out of a Lifetime, feel-good winter movie where the most elegant snowfall fight just took place.

I could easily imagine perfect snowflakes landing artfully on the right strands of hair and to lightly dust their clothes enough to look unnaturally natural. Rosalie and Alice were doing all they could to avoid the drippage of the other three, looking absolutely chic doing so.

“What about you, Bel? Hey, Bel? Hello? What’re you staring at?” Jessica asked, gently poking my arm.

At that very moment, Edward Cullen looked over right at us and met my eyes. I held them for a second too long before looking away.

_Well...at least he doesn’t look homicidal today. Could that even be considered a positive?_

“Edward Cullen is staring at you,” Jessica said gleefully.

“Does he look like I killed his pet before his very eyes?”

“What!! Bel, ew, noooo! Don’t be weird. Like that, I mean.” She took a moment to allow herself a dramatic sigh before speaking. “But no, he doesn’t. Ya damn weirdo,” she muttered under her breath with the faintest smirks.

It was in that brief moment that I knew Jessica for sure saw me as a friend. She’s a snarky one, and while she snarks all her friends, she hasn't snarked too much at me. Angela also wasn't a frequent target of her sass, which I found endearing.

Wait. Edward Cullen. Staring at me?

_Why?_

“Okay, and please stop looking at him!” All she did was snort in amusement but swiftly obliged me.

Ya know. As crappy as this sounded, I had to admit to myself that it was awfully hypocritical to be suspicious of one instance of him staring at me vs. my staring at him; I was sadly winning that department.

_Goal, Bel: stop staring at people, it’s rude! You wouldn’t wanna be stared at, would you?_

Conscience Bel had a very good point, and I had to step up my game. He was still my bio partner, after all.

Talk about awkward.

As Angela and Mike nearly towed a reluctant me to biology, I briefly imagined a cartoon scene where other characters are dragging one character to something they don’t want to be involved in. Except, my fingernails wouldn’t gouge bloody trails into the linoleum while my friends dragged me by the ankles.

Hopefully not, at least.

A small silver lining? The walk to class revealed that the snow had turned to rain, and my interalized glee skyrocketed much to the dismay of nearly everyone else in school.

We walked into bio, and I kept my eyes to the floor up until I sat down at my table. Which was immediately followed by my meticulously placing my bag on the table so that I could comfortably rest my head on it.

I just needed a moment to steel my nerves, to brace for the worst. I heard our teacher greet the class, and apparently walk right out moments later, loudly saying that he’d be right back.

“I don’t mean to pry, but are you feeling okay?”

Startled at being spoken to by such a soft voice, I turned my head a fraction and focused an eye on the source. _Did Edward Cullen actually speak to me?_

“Uh. Yeah, I am,” I said like an idiot. A confused one, at that. Yet even though he previously made it clear that he wanted nothing to do with me, I couldn't be rude to him. That would've been rude.

“Oh.” He seemed very surprised by my reply, and also looked confused.

_That makes two of us, buddy._

I really wasn;t one for confrontation, it historically had never really worked in my favor. But Edward Cullen was talking to me, and, unsure if it would happen again, I recognized this opportunity and took it. I took a deep breath through my nose, slowly let it out of my mouth before sitting upright and facing Edward.

I reminded myself to speak quietly enough just for him to hear. Didn’t want an audience listening in on this.

“So, you don’t know me, I don’t know you, and this is our first time speaking. I don’t get it, because the last time you were next to me in this class and after school that same day, I felt very uncomfortable being near you, a little unsafe even.

"If you have an issue with me, I’d much rather you tell me up front so that, if we can manage, we can talk it out. And if not, well, maybe you don’t have to look at me like you hate me and maybe we can switch lab partners, and we wouldn’t have to ever speak again.”

It was a marvel that I was able to say all that calmly and without tearing up; my tear ducts tended to activate when I was emotionally compromised, positively or negatively. Not always, but it just happened whether I wanted it to or not.

Edward Cullen seemed to take all that in, and I wondered if he played poker, as he had an impressive poker face. Whatever he wanted to say had to wait, as Mr. Banner returned.

After gathering our attention, he explained today’s lab. We were to identify plant cells under a microscope and determine which phase of mitosis they were, and Mr. Banner came around passing out equipment after his explanation and brief Q&A.

The class set to work right away, with some quickly trying to reference their textbooks despite instruction not to.

Edward and I checked every other slide without much related conversation, he wrote down our findings on our shared worksheet with his elegant handwriting, and made sure to briefly note who identified which slide in the margins. I appreciated the gesture, and murmured my thanks to him.

Mr. Banner went around the class to monitor progress and to mark their scores in his gradebook, and after ours were noted, I saw that we were the first pair to finish the lab.

With little else to do, I brought out my Forks notebook to just review what I’d last written. Class droned on while I reviewed my written thoughts, and I tried to ignore the feeling that Edward was staring at me.

“I owe you an apology,” Edward said after a moment, and I made the mistake of not only looking at him, but meeting his eyes. They were kinda golden. “But there isn’t enough time left in class. May I try to earn your forgiveness after school, Beltrán?”

Whoa.

He pronounced my name correctly. Perfectly, I’d say. Way better than I could say my name in Spanish, honestly, and I was a little envious. I didn’t know Spanish, unfortunately.

_Edward earned a point for that._

I was still stuck on the color of his eyes.

 _Does he wear colored contacts?_ I considered writing that down, as I had previously written about his eyes, which were black as onyx the last time I saw them…

“Call me Bel, please,” I said automatically. “And to your question, sure.”

“Thank you.” Edward offered a small smile and nod, and just then the bell rang. “I’ll see you in the parking lot, then, Bel.” With that, he stood up and was out the door in a flash.

I felt as a robot would, activated for the first time as I went with Mike to the gym. I was aware that he was whining about finding difficulty with the lab but was unable to offer much conversation. I merely explained that I had done the lab previously, and that Edward had no trouble with the lab either. Mike sulked after that.

Gym had no casualties to report, and my day was soon done.

Mike accompanied me on the way to the parking lot, when I saw Edward leaning cooly against the bed of my truck. He saw me and offered a small wave.

I waved back awkwardly.

“You friendly with Cullen, Bel?” Mike asked quietly.

“Not particularly. Not yet. I do need to talk to him though, sorry. See you later.” I pulled up my hood, as the rain was coming down a bit harder, and went to my truck.

“Uh. Want to hop in my truck? We’ll be dry, at least.”

Caught off guard by my question, Edward glanced away for a second before meeting my gaze again, and nodded. “Thank you,” he said after I unlocked the door for him and quickly went around to the driver’s side.

It was a small miracle that I didn't slip on the small walk around, and I sighed in relief at being in the dry, surprisingly warm cab. I took down my hoodie and took my hair out of its ponytail.

I felt awkward.

And it had to do with the fact that someone I didn't know was in my car. But also because I realized that the shiny Volvo I’d seen in the lot every day belonged to Edward and his siblings. I felt anxious for Grandpa Chev due to his age.

“Bel? Forgive me, but you seem tense.”

Crap. I hoped he wouldn’t have noticed. Or at least to not comment on it if he did.

“S-Sorry.” It was all I could offer at the moment.

“You don’t have to be. I do, however.”

I had no other choice but to look at him, then.

I stayed quiet, but I raised an eyebrow in silent questioning

It was his turn to look uncomfortable, but he didn’t look away. I found that I couldn’t even if I tried, and that was only a little alarming.

“I can only imagine what you must have thought of me,” Edward began, sounding nervous. “Any number of things, most likely, none of which I could blame you for due to my extremely rude behavior.

"In all honesty, I have no real reason for it, and I very much am ashamed and regret acting so unkindly to you, Bel. I am truly, genuinely sorry. I hope you’ll be able to forgive me.”

There must be something in the water here, because it felt as though Edward’s eyes had a hypnotic quality to them. For a wild moment, I thought of the animated _Jungle Book_ , and how Kaa was singing a lulling song to Mowgli just before the snake attempted to eat the boy.

I stammered a response, had to swallow to try and lubricate my suddenly dry mouth. Graciously, I gathered my senses quickly.

“I-I have to admit, I had a strong idea that you possibly could be a rather hateful person. For as much as I’ve been bullied in my short life, nothing quite compared to the way you looked at me. I...I don’t know if I’m able to accept your apology or forgive you just yet.”

The rain had let up just a bit, so it was less noisy in the truck, yet the following silence was still so very loud.

“I see,” Edward said, a whisper I nearly missed. “That is a fair assessment, one I respect. I won’t keep you any longer, then. Thank you for your time, Bel. Drive safe.”

With that, he politely excused himself and carefully closed the door behind him. My hands found my steering wheel for leverage while my heart beat against my ribs. _That was so damn anxiety-inducing…_

From my rearview mirror, I was able to see Edward briskly return to his car where all but Alice remained outside under an umbrella, silently watching her brother as he got into the driver’s seat without a word.

She briefly glanced in my truck’s direction before closing and shaking out her umbrella, got inside as well, and the Volvo was quickly off school property.

I had much to think about, and even more to write down when I got home.

The next morning, I was running a little late.

A noticeable amount of snow had fallen overnight, which threw me off, and it was enough that made me drive extra carefully, as it was my first time driving through snow. The last thing I wanted to do was need a hospital visit first thing.

It seemed like ages, but I finally made it to school as students were rushing to get out of the cold. I found a parking spot, killed the engine and quickly gathered my bag, and was off to the races.

Lucky me, as I got a few cars aways from Grandpa Chev, two things happened.

One, I slipped on the ice-slickened blacktop and fell back on my butt, sliding a few inches forward. Ow. My tailbone and the remnants of my dignity I had left were sore.

And two, as I tried to get back on my own feet without falling again, a loud screeching noise was soon after followed by a loud, brief scrape of metal against metal.

By the time I got to my feet, yells of shock and my name being screamed came about, and soon a handful of nearby people came over to me, asking if I was okay. Which I was, other than the fall. I saw others rush behind me, and gently pushed against people to see the commotion.

As it turns out, a dark blue van was resting against a back corner of my truck, having presumably skid across the slippery parking lot. People were still yelling, but about the van’s driver, and I quickly but cautiously scurried over to see if they were okay and to exchange information as needed.

— • —

My truck was fine, of course, save a few scratches and a very small, easily missed dent. Grandpa Chevy was a tank, it seemed.

Tyler Crowley, the van’s driver and a fellow classmate in my government class, was thankfully whole as could be, save a number of scrapes and bruises. The front office heard the commotion and called emergency services.

Tyler was taken to the hospital, and after the police arrived and my statement was given, I rushed off to English. Late, but the teacher understood once I explained what happened. Witnesses also backed up my story, unexpectedly.

If I thought being the new kid was bad, this was ten times worse. It didn’t help that Mike and Eric’s questioning and comments about my “slippery adventure” had others asking if I was okay and having further inquiries about said adventure.

Luckily for him, Tyler was back in school by the time I was in government. Unluckily for me, he spent the rest of the hour apologizing endlessly from beside me, prompting students to ask us both about what happened.

Somehow I was getting more questions even though I wasn’t near my truck and Tyler was the one with big bandaids on his face.

My non-accident had me hounded all morning, the buzz of the school until lunch rolled around. I hadn’t talked to so many people I didn’t know before. It was a little unfortunate, as my social batteries were nearly drained by the time I was in the lunch line.

Salvation from any others came in the form of, most surprisingly, Alice Cullen.

She appeared before me as I made my way to Jessica, who gave me a questioning look from the table.

“Hello! I’m Alice Cullen. You’re Bel, right?” She said this in a friendly manner, all smiles.

“Er, yeah, I am. Nice to meet you, Alice.”

“Likewise! Would you mind sitting with me, for a moment?” She tilted her head, and the tight curls on her head swayed slightly with the motion.

I gave a quick glance to my usual table, and others had gathered, with Jessica, Mike, and Eric giving the most confused looks. I’d have to explain later, as to not be rude to Alice.

“Oh! Sure. Lead the way.”

With another smile, Alice took me to an empty table, setting a solitary water bottle atop it as she sat. My tray joined her bottle, and I took a quick sip of my own water.

Meeting Alice Cullen was odd, only for one major reason I could think of.

While I knew she wasn't of blood relation to her siblings, she did share a similarity with Edward that made think of eyewear again.

Her eyes were golden, too.

Not exactly the same shade as Edward’s, but definitely still yellow. _Are the Cullens looking to make colored contacts a trend at school?_

“So! Can I help you with something, Alice?”

“Yes, actually, you can!” She had a very melodic, chirpy voice.

“If it’s in my power.” I nodded to let her continue, and took a bite of my sandwich.

“I spoke with my brother yesterday, and he seemed quite upset. He didn’t tell me exact details, other than that he had hurt your feelings. I merely wanted to check in with you, Bel, if that’s all right.”

Huh. How oddly kind. But mostly odd, as this was merely a day later.

It would’ve been more appropriate had she asked after some time had passed, but a day later seemed as though he couldn’t wait for a response and asked Alice to talk with me on his behalf.

Odd.

I decided to play dumb.

“Oh. I’m sorry, but I don’t think I understand…”

For a moment, Alice’s smile drooped a bit. Just a moment.

She sighed and closed her eyes for a few seconds. When they opened again, she spoke.

“Edward is...sensitive, believe it or not. More than he would let any of our classmates know. He usually has an idea of how to read a person, if that makes sense. But after yesterday, he was very confused after whatever it is you talked to him about. He was sulking, if I’m being perfectly honest,” she admitted quietly with a giggle.

“Anyways. He can be unbearable when he’s sulking, even our mother and father tried to intervene. He’s so dramatic sometimes.” She rolled her eyes, as if she and I had always discussed the personality and psyche of her brother.

I risked a glance over at the Cullen-Hale table, and saw Edward’s face in his hands. He looked miserable, in a comedic way? As if he was the butt of a joke, maybe.

“Okay, Alice, I admit that you lost me a bit,” I said. “In all honesty, it seems like he asked you to talk to me, though I’m not sure why, exactly. Which is a little on the weird side, considering I don’t know either of you or the rest of your family.”

She didn’t have anything to say to that.

“And as I have already said my piece to Edward, I’m unsure as to what I’m to glean from this conversation with you.”

Silent Alice again. I took another bite of sandwich, she took a gulp of water.

“Right. I’m sorry for bothering you, Bel. I tried telling that to Edward, but he was...well, annoying, for lack of a better word.” She smirked, and glanced behind me.

I took a guess that her brother was watching, which could explain why he looked miserable.

“Ah, no worries. Can’t fault you for looking out for your brother.”

_I guess?_

She beamed at me. “Well, I’ll leave you be. Thanks for hearing me out. Take care, Bel!”

With that, she got up and took her water with her.

I went back to my table, with more questions than answers swirling in my head.

“What did Alice want to talk to you about?” Angela quietly asked after I sat down next to her.

My periphery showed me that Mike, Jessica, and Eric had all looked to me for my answer. I replied honestly and said that I didn’t really think she got to the point, as I was still confused by it.

Well, with their curiosity sated by my uninteresting report, conversation resumed and I was left to my thoughts.

I took a peek at the Cullens.

Emmett looked to be telling a story that Alice found hilarious, judging from her covering her mouth with a hand and her slightly shaking shoulders. Rosalie looked mildly amused, while her twin merely had his eyes closed while smirking and shaking his head.

Edward...wow, whatever it was that had him just laying his head in his arms on the table had my sympathy.

Once again, I was struck by their beauty.

That made me wonder.

If they’re all adopted after being foster kids, how old are their parents?

Dr. Cullen must have been in his early 30s at the least from what I’ve gathered, and his wife might be in that general age range.

To be so young and to take care after five teens, even with a doctor’s salary, certainly was an impressive feat.

Did Mrs. Cullen work as well? There was no way know.

Did people who wanted to adopt factor in the beauty of their future children? How likely was it that Dr. & Mrs. Cullen came across five beautiful teenagers to forge a family with? Was that a factor in their care of Edward, Alice, and Emmett?

And what of the Hale twins? What happened to their family? Was there no one else to care for them, save for their aunt? If there was family, did they offer their aunt any financial support for the care of Rosalie and Jasper?

Finally, just what was _up_ with the golden contacts?!

There was no way to subtly put on glasses when one didn’t need them during lunch, but I needed mine to check on this Cullen contact lens mystery.

I quickly fetched my glasses case from my bag, slid them on, and looked over at their table to scrutinize each face there, and saw that Rosalie, Emmett, and Jasper also had golden eyes.

That was so strange!

_What group of siblings think it so stellar an idea to get matching lenses?_

For that matter, Alice’s face was stuck in my head. Especially the stark contrast of her contacts and her skin. Her dark complexion made the yellow of her lenses stand out. It was almost an eerie sort of sight, especially when she had a neutral expression; the yellow made Alice look quite intimidating. But then she’d smile, and her whole face would just light up.

Emmett, by contrast, seemed to be a bit more naturally tan than I was, from what I saw of his arms, neck, and face. I couldn’t make a judgement call on his complexion without stereotyping, which just wasn’t going to happen. Nor was I going to wager a guess at his ethnicity, either, as Asia was a huge continent with a wide variety of appearances despite some overlap of physical traits. His muscle mass plus the eyes were also a jarring sight.

I sighed quietly to myself.

This was too much thinking without writing things down, so I decided to put a mental pin on this train of thought.

My notebook was about to get sick of me after today.

— • —

Biology went about with nothing to really report. It seemed that most of Mr. Banner's classes consisted of rather boring lectures and labs he somehow made fun as a practical supplement.

Today was a lecture kind of day, and I dutifully took notes so as to not stare beside me or seem absentminded.

Edward was very polite, almost formally so, as though he were a kid that got scolded and was trying very hard to behave. Perhaps he was giving me space, which would’ve been very considerate.

_He got a point. Not enough to earn my forgiveness yet._

He rarely took notes it seemed, but by hour’s end, his sheet of paper he put away was brimming with notes; Damn his beautiful handwriting.

“I hope you enjoy the rest of your day, Bel,” he said seconds before the bell rang, and was gone.

I would’ve at least returned the sentiment, but he was just too fast for my distracted mind today. I hope he didn’t think I ignored him, because that certainly wasn’t the case.

Mike walked with me to the gym locker room, though he was quieter than usual.

I asked him what was up, but he said he’d talk to me later if he felt up for it.

Feeling bad due to him being unexpectedly withdrawn, I made sure to write my phone number down and I gave him the paper slip before we got changed.

I knew very well what it was like to possibly not have anyone to talk to, even about the little things. I wanted to be a good friend to Mike, as well as our other friends. His answering smile seemed real and genuine as could be, and he thanked me for looking out for him.

It was a testament to our friendship that he didn’t flush my number down a urinal after I served the ball to the back of his head. Twice. In a row.

He must really like me enough as a person to want to continue associating with me despite my genuinely accidental damages to his body via sport.

As we departed at the parking lot, I promised to buy his lunch tomorrow in an attempt to make amends.

It wasn’t until I got home that I realized why I had such a remarkably easy time driving around the snow.

There were chains around my tires, crisscrossed. Charlie must’ve put them on sometime last night or before he left for work this morning.

Up to this point, chained tires in winter had always been a TV/film trope, so I was a little slow on the uptake. _Ahh, the sweet old man…!!_

As soon as I was inside, I made a beeline for the shower, and I hoped that the pipes wouldn’t ever be frozen enough to prevent me from bathing for the rest of my stay here in Forks.

A vain hope, I knew.

By now, I was pretty sure that the only significant downside to living in Forks was the snow.

Rain, I could get used to, even if there was far more than Phoenix ever had. The snow, however, and all its ice-related terror would be my undoing here, I knew it.

Actual, fatal car accident? Plausible.

Murdered? Maybe not here in Forks, but always possible.

Slipping on ice so hard that I crack my skull wide open and quickly bleed to death, or die slowly thanks to hypothermia?

Classic Bel.

I spent at most an hour writing into my notebook in the kitchen, and it was something of a hassle to try and remember all the small details from my day.

But it was done, I took a brief snack break, and went on to do homework. I briefly recognized the mundanity of a routine, and silently hoped Forks was a lot more interesting than it seemed.

It was pretty late when I opted to stop working for the night, and I realized I was hungry. I went back downstairs, caught the blinking light of the voicemail, and went to see what messages were there.

Charlie's voice again, saying he was going to go night fishing with Billy Black and would be home late.

_Must’ve been one hell of a fun, if exhausting, time fishing._

As I chose to be lazy for the night, dinner was merely French toast.

Lots of it.

I was so glad I picked up a loaf of Texas toast, it was the ideal bread for this breakfast. French toast was arguably the best breakfast food out there, and nothing would change my opinion on that.

Billy Black, though.

That name definitely rang a bell. If I remembered right, that was Charlie’s best friend?

I remembered loving his hair, as it was fairly long, black as pitch, and usually kept down. I think Billy was the reason why I love having long hair, and why I appreciate other guys with long hair.

Billy had kids, that much I remembered. Two girls my age, I'd thought, and a son some years younger...though their names weren’t in my memory banks anymore.

After my dinner, I went back upstairs to my computer.

I’d kept up with emailing Renée pretty often, so her frequency of writing definitely decreased. I could get away with writing her every other day or two, now.

Charlie came home shortly after, and at the top of the stairs he called out that he was going to shower and turn in, bidding me an early good night.

I never saw the appeal to it, even when I was old enough to be taken fishing with him and Billy as a kid. I eventually put an end to being taken on their fishing trips.

Maybe I was just meant to be a city kid instead of a suburban or small-town kid. The world may never know.

— • —

Dad was out like a light after his shower. His heavy footsteps in his room were quickly followed by his snoring. I still wasn’t sure if he was just a chainsaw snorer or if the walls were just that thin, but either way, he was out.

Not like I was going to suddenly go buckwild or anything, but it meant I definitely had privacy, which was always a plus.

Would it be such a crime if, in my downtime without academic responsibility, my mind wandered to the mysterious figure that was Edward Cullen? And his family in general, but Edward had some priority here.

I wondered if my friends had caught wind of my crush on him. With every fiber of my being, I hoped they didn’t.

Namely because if any of them found out, Jessica specifically, the whole school was liable to know. And that would be monumentally worse than if just my friends found out.

It was one thing to come out to your friends, it was something else to have the school know that you’re out before you’re ready to tell all. Also, if the whole school were to find out, then that would means that parents would know, and _that_ is the true crime of a small town.

The rumor mill is at its strongest and most efficient when parents overhear or are told the gossip from their kids.

I knew Charlie wouldn’t think anything of it, aside from most likely being upset that full grown adults were gossiping about a queer kid. I came out to him when I was 15, so no surprises there; he took it quite well.

Gossiping adults, though. That’s what I wasn’t sure about, Charlie’s reaction to people he’d known for years, gossiping about (read: condemning) his bisexual son.

Which...sadly brought me back to Edward Cullen.

I still wasn’t quite sure what was up with him. Sure, he apologized for his absolutely rude behavior, but as of now I didn’t know the precise reasoning for said behavior.

I laid back down on my bed and brainstormed.

Option One, Edward was racist.

Infinitely unfortunate, especially as his adoptive family was mixed and Forks being relatively diverse a population; predominantly white, of course. Even if the Cullens weren’t from Forks originally, it was still very plausible that one of their number was racist.

But racism was definitely a learned behavior.

Which meant that Edward either somehow learned it from Dr. Cullen and/or Mrs. Cullen, or it was learned from Edward’s time in the foster care system.

While either was equally possible, the latter was somehow more preferable. I had no idea what the Cullen parentals were like as people, but I didn’t want to cast aspersions on them right away. Especially if they took in two kids of color to care for and love…

Option Two, Edward was a queerphobe.

That was my knee jerk guess last week. But still, I felt like that one had to be ruled out right away. How else would he have known that I’m bi at all? Charlie was the only one in Forks who I was officially out to, and it was completely certain that he wouldn’t talk about my sexuality to anyone else.

Billy might've been an exception, and I’d be okay with that, as they _we_ _re_ best friends after all.

Even parents need someone to talk to about stuff regarding their offspring, even the sensitive subject of their sexual or gender identities. Unless I wanted to entertain the idea that Edward also wasn’t straight and had great gaydar, I still couldn’t be sure about this idea.

Option Three, Edward was a sociopath.

I had no concrete proof of that one, yet it was still plausible. There had to be some studies out there about sociopathic people realizing or being fully aware of how to manipulate people while in high school, specifically. This was equally as alarming as my other two theories, but also somehow more concerning.

Sociopaths knew how to work people, and if this other kid had refined skills in manipulation, he could be more of a long-term threat than a short-term one.

Option Four, he was a combo platter of any of the prior three.

This would upgrade him from high school bully to “someone get me a restraining order for this guy!!”

But that would be very difficult to prove in any legal capacity, and I had to shelve that idea for now. It was far too complex for me to tackle on my own, and I wasn’t about to crack _that_ Pandora’s box just yet.

So what _was_ I going to do about Edward and whatever, now-conflicted feelings I might have for him?

I had to use my imagination here.

In the scenario that he kept up being polite and friendly towards me, I didn’t think there was much I could do. This was on the track to friendship, and I didn’t mind that. New friends were great!

And if he veered down the opposite track towards Options One through Four of being an absolute dick, I’d consider getting an adult involved―assuming he and I couldn’t settle things maturely.

Was it really a case of innocent until proven racist, queerphobic, or sociopathic?

_Wow. There’s a question I never thought I’d ever have in my head._

Keep an extra eye on him? Maybe go about the idea of keeping friends close, and keeping enemies closer?

Not that he was an enemy, but he definitely was suspicious thus far. Towards me, at least.

Perhaps I should start grilling my friends about Edward? Except Mike, maybe, as he clearly wasn’t fond of him.

Straight boys would always confuse me, I felt.

My priority would be seeing if Edward was racist or a queer hater, then. Or both, as hate tends to band together with other kinds of hate. If he proves to be a decently good person in those respects, I could see about that sociopathic issue? Or, whether it was an actual issue?

Well. That about seemed to be as much a plan as I could personally think of at the moment on a school night well past my normal bedtime.

Sleep soon came for me, and that was when I first dreamt about Edward Cullen.

— • —

The days of the week begun to blur together, not blindly but out of repetition. Some were boring, some were dreadfully dull, but I had fun everyday. Which surprised me, as I didn't think “fun” when I thought of Forks.

Before I knew it, it was the Friday before beach day with Mike. A number of us were still checked to go, and at lunch Mike was reviewing the plans with everyone.

We were all to meet up at Newton’s around 10am, pile into the driving cars, and be on our merry way.

Spend a few hours there, leave after sunset maybe, possibly nab a late dinner somewhere back in Forks before calling it a night.

I made sure to have more than enough cash on hand for gas and general repayment, as Mike offered to bring a lot of snacks and drinks.

Mike was seeing who would be getting a ride with him, and Angela, Jessica, Eric, and myself raised our hands. Lauren was taking Tyler, a boy I didn't know too well named Ben Costa, and whoever else she wanted to bring.

After other details were settled, I overheard Lauren telling Jessica about how only one person passed out in her biology class, and Jessica scoffed.

“People always pass out around this time of year,” she said offhandedly, as if discussing the weather.

As if that wasn't an alarming thing to hear!

“Um, just why are people passing out this time of year?” I asked the table in clear alarm.

“Science classes are blood typing students today,” Angela informed me. “The Blood Drive will be coming to school sometime next week.” Ah, of course. Why else would they want us to bleed for them?

I felt myself go pale.

“Oh hell, Bel, you don't look so good,” Eric suddenly whispered, looking alarmed. Jessica reached over to touch the back of her hand to my forehead before frowning.

“You don't feel so good either. Want to go to the nurse?”

I probably could've gotten more pale at that notion, but no further gasps alluded to that. “No, no, that's fine. I'll probably just casually not go to class.”

I got a few nods of understanding, and only Mike and Angela looked displeased by that idea, but they didn't say anything.

“Where will you go then?” Angela asked me quietly after a moment.

“I'll probably go sit in my truck, do some homework or nap,” I whispered back honestly. She giggled, and shook her head.

Mike overheard us and said he’d tell Mr. Banner that I wasn't feeling well, if he asked. I warmly thanked him. “Paying you back for buying my lunch,” he said with a nod. I nodded back, smiling as much as I could.

When the bell rang and the cafeteria became a war zone of foot traffic, I carefully made my way out to the parking lot, which was surprisingly easier than I thought it'd be. I was about halfway to my car when I heard a voice call out to me.

“Is the Fire Chief’s son ditching class?”

I froze on the spot, and hoped I didn't look as guilty as I suddenly felt. I quickly looked for the source of the voice, and saw Edward Cullen closing his car door as he got out.

He was smirking a bit at me, and walked over to me. I looked at him for a moment before continuing to my truck.

“And I suppose Dr. Cullen’s son is, too!” I called back, and I reached my truck at this point. I had my keys in hand, ready to get in, when a certain someone came right up to lean against the front of Grandpa Chev.

Directly in my line of sight.

Taking a brief breath, I looked up at Edward Cullen. _Wow. He's taller than I thought,_ was my first thought.

He grinned at me, an alluringly crooked smile that really lit up his face.

_Damn you, you pretty boy. Damn you._


	3. Friends and...Friends?

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Bel feels like he's on good tracks to friendship with most of his school crowd, and maybe some other people, like Jacob Black!

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I suppose I should throw out the fact that I don't have like, someone proofreading my story or anything before I post. It's just me, so I apologize for any grammar related errors and stuff. I'm also trying to keep Bel's narration something similar to Bella's, but also making it a bit more realistic for a teen boy. Aka more or less how I spoke when I was his age.
> 
> Oh! And I also went back to edit all three chapters. So if things look a little different than you remember, just know that it was my doing and not your mind fooling you. XD

“Can I help you with something?” I politely asked him.

“Possibly.” Edward said that vaguely, and I grew suspicious of his grin.

“Then I guess I _possibly_ could hear you out, if you seem so unsure.” I appreciated that he merely snorted at my sarcasm.

“Since we’re both ditching, I wonder if you would like some company?” Edward asked with a simple, confident smile in place. _He looked so lovely..._

“And just why would I associate with someone who I haven't been properly introduced to?”

Bt this point, I genuinely had no idea where this sass was coming from. I usually did my best to refrain from the sass until I had a good read on someone I don’t know well enough.

Usually.

Edward’s air of confidence quickly plummeted into mortification, if his expression said anything.

“I am so terribly sorry, how rude of me,” he exclaimed at once, schooling his expression into warm courtesy. “My name is Edward Cullen, and it’s very nice to officially meet you.”

“Nice to officially meet you, Edward. And sure, I’ll accept your company!”

That made him smile, which quickly developed a sort of glint. He leaned forward and lowered his voice. “In that case, may I know how opposed you’d be to possibly ditching one more class?”

I didn't even have to think about it. “Edward, I'll take any reason to avoid PE.”

“Duly noted,” he said with a laugh. “I'm curious. What were you going to do for this hour?”

“Just sit in Grandpa Chev, maybe nap, maybe do homework.”

“Grandpa...Chev?” He was looking at me as though I spoke a different language. I patted my truck twice.

“My truck! He's Grandpa Chev. He's an old Chevy, and calling him ancient felt mean. Besides, I always told myself that I'd name my first car something dumb but fitting.”

“I see.” Edward bit his lip to not laugh, but he couldn't hide his smile. Without missing a bit, he turned to fully face the truck, and nodded his head in greeting. "Nice to meet you, Grandpa Chev. I'm Edward Cullen.”

I started at him a moment before cracking up. _That was too cute, oh gosh!!_

I quickly got a hold of my laugher, only giggling a little. “S-Sorry, I didn't mean to laugh so much. I just didn't expect that. I'm also easily entertained, so there's that, too.”

“Your face is rather red,” he commented happily. “As long as you enjoyed yourself. Well, as we have some time to kill before school lets out, care to go for a drive?”

Now wait a moment.

Wasn't I supposed to be keeping an eye on him? Figure out any angle he might be working from? I hadn't yet forgiven him after all...

Well. What better way to do that than by getting to know someone.

Right?

“Okay! But I don't think Grandpa Chev can handle long distances right now. I'm a little low on gas, and he's a guzzler.”

“Not to worry. We can take my car.”

“Ah. But, how will your siblings get home?”

Something passed through Edward’s eyes, too quick for me to catch.

“Rosalie brought her car,” he merely said, pointing to a flashy red car a few spaces down from the Volvo I had come to know. I didn’t know the first thing about cars, but damn did it look expensive.

_Did the good doctor get her that?!_

“Wow. Nice ride. Well, that does sound nice, and I’d be up for a ride...if you wouldn’t mind me taking my truck home first? That way I can leave my dad a note explaining about blood testing today. He knows I’m squeamish at the scent of blood, and I’d rather he find out from me that I ditched instead of from gossip.”

“Squeamish about the _scent_ of blood, you said?” Edward asked incredulously, and I nodded dumbly, unsure of his surprise. “How peculiar. Usually it’s the sight of it that makes people squeamish.”

“Is it hard to believe that I’ve heard that a lot? Yeah, I don’t know why either. All I know is that it smells like rusted copper, and _that_ smells gross.” I shrugged and grimaced at the same time.

“Ah, yes. Well, besides discussing blood, let’s not add to the rumor mill, shall we? Forks would burn with how quickly word spreads around here.” He chuckled, but it had an edge to it, as though I was missing some joke. “Of course, Bel, that won’t be any trouble at all. Lead the way.”

And with that, I was leading the number one, most suspect person I knew to my house.

Good idea, right?

— • —

Manners told me to invite Edward in after we parked, as I was going to be a bit longer than merely writing a note.

He quietly accepted the offer, and settled himself in the living room, looking around with curious eyes.

Something told me it wasn’t the ambiance he was taking in, and my eyes automatically found each picture of a younger me Charlie kept around.

_I might need to see about those remaining up for my stay..._

I darted upstairs to empty my bag of nearly everything save my Forks notebook, wallet, and keys, and made sure to pack a second light sweater, a scarf, and gloves (I wanted to be prepared as possible for colder, wet weather).

I penned a note stating what happened at school and that I was with a friend on, went back downstairs, and stuck the note to the fridge. After quickly packing my reusable water bottle and some pop tarts for snacks, I was ready to head out.

It felt almost wrong of me to step into Edward’s nice Volvo. I feared I would track so much dirt inside. But that just might’ve been anxiety gnawing at my brain.

I got in after quickly making sure that my shoes were appropriately dirty.

“Do you have any place in mind to visit, Bel?” Edward asked after I clicked my seatbelt.

“Well, I have to admit that I don’t really know Forks well, yet,” I said honestly. “Do you know if there’s any decent bookstore in town?”

“I’m afraid not. But there is one in Port Angeles, if you’d be interested.”

“Oh, that works out! I’ve been meaning to make a trip there. Sure, let’s go!”

That was when I learned, the hard way, that Edward Cullen drives as fast as I expected of a boy with a nice car. In some ways, the drive was exhilarating, in others concerning for general safety.

Either way, what would’ve taken me maybe an hour’s drive was done in about twenty minutes. I was impressed.

In all that time, we just...talked.

Well, it felt like I was doing most of the talking, as Edward was asking a variety of questions. Mostly about me, I admit.

But the most ordinary things, the kinds of questions one might ask someone they just met and were possibly not too gifted in the art of conversation.

Answers to some questions spun new webs of Edward’s curiosity, and he’d ask a whole new, separate round of questions that I answered anyways.

I felt bad about talking so much, but Edward didn’t mind.

He genuinely was interested in what I had to say. Absurdly interested, in my opinion, possibly perhaps more than someone who just properly met me should be.

Yet at the same time, it was also rather nice.

I didn’t have a lot of male companions to speak of back under desert sun, and I wasn't really used to talking to guys my age; I preferred the platonic company of girls over most boys.

The fact that I had Mike and Eric as friends-in-progress was wondrous in itself, and, whether for my cautiousness or not, it might be nice to count Edward as a friend, too.

Maybe.

Needless to say, I was only a little saddened when we parked across the street from the bookstore. Just a little. I hoped I would get a turn to ask him endless questions, too

_If I could think of as much, anyways._

Once inside, however, I was a man on a mission. I had brought a small number of books with me to Forks, favorites I couldn’t imagine parting with, and was hunkering for a new written world to consume.

I did have to give Edward a warning, however.

As we began a slow walk inside, I said, “It’s only fair to tell you that once I get books in my hands, I tend to lose myself. If I don’t right away respond to something you say, I promise I’m not ignoring you.”

This earned a chuckle. “Don’t mind me, Bel. I’m rather skilled at being a quiet shadow if needed. Enjoy your search.”

Did I need any more prompting than that? No. No, I didn’t.

Edward was right. He definitely was my quiet shadow for the approximate 40 minutes we spent in the bookstore.

He laughed under his breath at the things I muttered aloud to myself (much to my embarrassment), whispered opinions on a book or author he recognized (he read a lot of books apparently), and murmured curious questions about books I held onto longer than most (he was a great second opinion).

Beyond that, he seemed quite content to silently follow me around the store, and didn’t complain at all.

In the end, I bought a single paperback.

Mostly because it was the one that interested me most, but also because I had limited cash on hand, and wanted to save some for food.

It was a tradition that I eat some junk food after a bookstore visit, and I believe we passed some golden arches on the way here.

“What is the book about? _The Lovely Bones_ , was it?” Edward asked after I paid and we left the store.

We had taken to merely walking around at a leisurely pace due to the fact that I took the book out of the bag immediately to just look at it while we walked.

_I have a new book!!_

“According to the back,” I said, staring at the front cover still. “It’s about this girl named Susie Salmon, who was murdered when she was 14 in 1973. It’s about what her existence is like in heaven as she watches the living world go by, and watch how her loved ones mourn her.”

He hadn’t responded right away as I expected, so I looked at him. He was staring at me as though I’d grown a third eye between my normal two.

“Edward?”

“It seems like unusual subject matter to read about.” There was a weird look in his eyes, as if he was carefully thinking about each word as he said them.

I laughed. “What, a story about a murdered teen’s journey in the afterlife? Yeah, I guess it is unusual. I don’t know. It’s not all gore and horror. The back says it has messages of hope.”

“Death doesn’t seem to frighten you,” he said, an observation more than anything.

“Not in a book at least. It is a fascinating subject, though.”

“What is?”

“Death,” I said, as though it should have been obvious. Edward’s expression hardened, and it was almost like I could see him raising his walls in real-time. I felt a little uneasy.

“What makes you say that?” He spoke carefully again, and the unease grew.

I looked back at the book, feeling myself unable to continue looking at him. My voice was quiet and somber.

“Morbid as it sounds, I think about death a lot. Not because I want to die or anything, but just...death in general.”

I didn’t have to see his face to know that this certainly wasn’t what he was expecting.

“Would you mind explaining what you mean?” Edward’s voice was soft, and I took that as a positive. I needed a moment to swallow the lump in my throat.

“M-My family has experienced a lot of death, is all. I’ve been to more funerals than I like to remember.”

My new book became the object that grounded me most in this sensitive, public moment I was now having.

I didn’t need to tell him this, I could’ve lied had I been a decent liar. But I also was dimly aware that death was a sensitive topic for Edward, too, and I wanted to know why.

“I...I see. I am sorry for your losses, Bel.”

By that point, I half expected him to provide further sympathy, to tell me that his was an ear waiting to listen if needed, to tell me about any profound losses he might have experienced as a sympathizer, as many others had done.

He surprised me, instead.

In a lighthearted tone, he said, “Judging by the sounds coming from your stomach, I take it that you are hungry?”

At once, I felt my face get red at the thought of my stomach being loud enough for him to hear.

Meanwhile, I genuinely wasn’t even thinking of food, but the moment he mentioned it, my post-bookstore tradition hunger kicked in.

“U-Um, yeah, I guess I am.” I said was grateful for the change of subject despite embarrassment. Yet I risked further embarrassment by briefly explaining my tradition.

A peek over at his expression let me see a small smile, but his lensed eyes still seemed guarded.

“Sounds like you trained your mind for food, Bel. How amusing.”

That got me a little huffy, but I figured he didn't mean any harm. “Yeah, yeah. Let's dissect my self-Pavloving later. How does McDonald’s sound to you?”

He snorted. “Unappealing, but I'm not hungry anyways. I've a routine for food too.” He paused, glancing at me to see my reaction. He smirked. “It's called a family dinner.”

My eyes rolled automatically, but I smiled and kept walking.

“How sweet, that you eat with all of your family. Especially for a family as big as yours. How _is_ having a larger than average family anyways? I can’t imagine having a single sibling, let alone four.”

“You learn to accept their faults, tolerate the annoying traits, and love them no matter how infuriated they make you,” was his response, and it had me laughing. I didn’t expect him to even casually rag on his siblings, yet it felt like an appropriate response.

We had gotten to the McDonald’s by then, and after ensuring that he didn't want anything to eat, I ordered my usual.

When asked for dining in or to go, I glanced at Edward to be sure, and he opted for the latter while quickly handing the cashier a card I didn't even see him pull out.

“Edward, no, you don't have—”

But it was too late.

The cashier, after a moment of deliberation and with his eyes on Edward, took the card after it was gently pushed into his hand and swiped it.

Edward just smiled at me, even though I was frowning.

“It’s the least I can do for kidnapping you for the day,” he explained after he accepted the receipt and his card, and we stepped out of line.

“Wow, what a courteous kidnapper you are,” I deadpanned. At least it got him to chuckle. “Would you at least allow me to pay for gas, then?”

“Mm. No.”

My eyes narrowed, and I quietly reached into my bag for my wallet, pulled out enough bills, and was fully committed to shoving them into his jacket before he had a startlingly cold hand manacled around my wrist.

_Does he have poor circulation??_

Grinning openly, he merely shook his head, and lowered my hand.

“Bel, I’m afraid that this is a battle you won't win, no matter how stubborn you might be. Which might be quite a bit, if your face is any indication.”

Something told me he was right. I sighed and returned the bills and wallet to my bag.

_I’ll slip the money into his car if I have to._

Edward led me back to the Volvo so that I could eat there in dry peace, as it had begun to drizzle some.

I used the chance to try and ask him questions in between very careful bites; dirt on the floor was one thing, mustard and ketchup stains were another.

Mostly, I was curious about his personal interests.

Edward Cullen was unlike anyone else I’d ever met before, and it was so hard to imagine him enjoying video games or liking trashy television; mundane activities that I liked seemed beyond him, for some reason.

While his answers were rather short and to the point, I did manage to gleam some pertinent info.

I learned that he was interested in playing instruments, the piano in particular. He’s easily read the most books for the sake of knowledge than any of his siblings, as well as for enjoyment. He’s been to several places around the world with his family during school vacations.

Ya know, the usual.

My questions continued in that vein until my food was finished.

Tucking the trash into my bag until I came across a trash can, I was about to ask him one more question when his cell phone rang. He pulled out a tiny, silver flip phone, and checked who was calling.

“Forgive me, it’s my sister Alice. May I?” I nodded quickly, and he answered.

“Hello, Alice. Is everything all right? Ah, was that today? I’ll have to apologize to him in person, he won’t accept anything less.” Edward sighed heavily. “Yes, yes, do what you can to appease him for now. I know, I know. Thank you, Alice. I’ll see you soon. Goodbye.”

“That didn’t sound fun,” I commented after a swig of soda.

“I had unintentionally broken a promise to one of my brothers, Emmett, and well. He’s something of a child when he doesn’t get his way sometimes,” he grumbled, tucking his phone away. “I’ll have to deal with him when I get home.”

I did my best to appear sympathetic. “Would you like to take me home, then? Go get things sorted out with your brother?”

Edward met my eyes a moment, then scoffed.

“And go deal with a tantrum? Not particularly.” He sighed. “But I’m afraid I’ll have to. Dinner is in about an hour.” He glanced at me from the corner of his eye, and smirked. “Buckle up, Mr. Swan.”

The drive back home felt shorter than before.

Namely because Edward, sensing my excitement for _The Lovely Bones_ , allowed the car to fall silent so that I could read as much as I could. And the next thing I knew, we were outside my house.

“Today was very unexpected, but very fun! Thank you for kidnapping me, Edward.”

“Let’s not make kidnapping a habit,” Edward said jovially. “There’s only so many times you can get away with ditching class. Though I wouldn’t mind spending more time with you in the future, if that’s all right. Preferably with decent attendance in class, that is.”

I returned a grin, and was inwardly happy at the idea. Even if some caution signs were flashing their lights in my head. Just then, it started raining harder than it had in the city.

“Sounds fun to me! But I think I’m gonna head in now. Thank you again for today, Edward, I had a blast.”

“And thank you for your company, and for being so entertaining at the bookstore.” He snickered, smiling crookedly.

“See you on Mond— Oh! I almost forgot! Some of us are going up to some beach up in La Push tomorrow, and I was wondering if you'd like to come with us?”

I did my best to not look hopeful, and wasn't at all sure on how successful I was. Edward frowned a little.

“Ah, I'm afraid I'll have to decline.” He looked very apologetic. “I've already made plans with my family tomorrow.” Well, it was a little disappointing, but c’est la vie.

“No worries about that. Just figured I'd extend an invite. Have fun tomorrow, then! And good luck with Emmett.” I laughed through the last part, and laughed more at Edward’s shocked expression.

I quickly put up my hood, made sure I had all my things, that my book was safely in my bag, and stepped out of the car. I carefully closed the door and waved Edward goodbye, then I quickly dashed to the front door.

After all was said and done, and after a refreshingly lengthy shower, I settled in my room for the night, and returned to my Forks notebook to begin a new entry.

_About my day with Edward Cullen, of all people and of all things._

On one hand, I was fulfilling a need to figure out if Edward was an overall decent guy that I wildly presumed incorrectly about or if he was an absolute monster of a person.

On the other, I was sixteen and had spent a good portion of my afternoon with someone I was clearly attracted to. I couldn’t deny that for too long.

Who would’ve thought that conflicting desires could have equal footing?

In some ways, I felt like Little Red Riding Hood, Edward possibly being the Big Bad Wolf.

Except this Little Red was equally cautious of the wolf and intrigued. What would Red do, if the Wolf turned out to be as awful as the local village had said? Or, perhaps more difficult to suss, what would Red do if the Wolf wasn’t Bad, but Good? Or Morally Neutral?

Would Charlie be the Granny in this case?

Okay, I was officially running off with my imagination. I needed sleep.

— • —

Today was beach day. As I woke up far earlier than intended and couldn’t go back to sleep, I decided to get some breakfast.

I checked to see if Charlie was asleep on my way down, and heard his snoring immediately after stepping out of my room.

_Guess he took the weekend off again._

Charlie deserved a treat, so I put on a pot of coffee to start, as I figured he’d need it for how late he was sleeping in.

Breakfast became a family event, as I made French toast for the voracious appetite of a full grown adult and that of a glutinous teenager.

I even went as far as to slice up some strawberries and throw them in a bowl with blueberries, and you had best believe I would’ve drizzled powdered sugar over the stack of French toast, but alas. We had none.

We did have plenty of eggs, so I scrambled some for myself, and then made a simple but large omelette for the old man. I realized that he preferred a light but filling breakfast for days off in my short time here.

By the time I had set out plates and silverware, Charlie had walked into the kitchen amidst a huge yawn, saw the food with sleep-crusted eyes, and plopped himself in a chair with a mumbled thanks as he served himself. I bit back any laughter, found his most-used mug, and poured him some coffee.

I brought out his creamer, designated sugarcube bowl, and milk in case he wanted something aside from black coffee, setting it all before him. I took my seat across from him, and we smiled at each other.

He silently lifted his mug to me before taking a deep drink, and let out an exhale that smelled of coffee.

“Man, that hit the spot,” he murmured into the mug, using his free hand to reach for his creamer and the cubes, plopping in one and a half sugar cubes. “Don’t like it too sweet.”

Another gulp of coffee, and he tore into his food and I quickly followed suit.

I was glad that he helped himself to the berries, used minimal syrup, and ate with his hands. I was a firm believer in eating French toast with my hands, no matter how sticky it’ll make them.

Doing this allowed me to fold the bread in half, stuff some fruit in it like a taco, and drizzle syrup and powdered sugar.

_One of the best breakfast ideas I ever had, if I do say so myself._

When we had both had eaten our fill, having left no toast left despite how much I made, Charlie let out a content sigh.

“Keep up spoiling me for breakfast, and I’ll get squishier. You trying to get rid of your old man’s girlish figure, Bels?”

That line nearly had me choke on the last bite of my eggs, and it was a struggle to safely chew then swallow while laughing simultaneously.

Seeing me damn near Death’s door had him crack up too, and only after I swallowed did I dramatically gasp and wipe away at the tears that had formed.

This was perhaps the longest and loudest I had laughed with my old man so early in the morning before, and it was great.

Charlie offered to do the dishes as repayment for nearly killing me, and I offered to dry them.

We did so quietly, enjoying each other’s company in peace, and went on to laze about the living room after. He with a newspaper in hand and I with _The Lovely Bones_ ; I took it with me everywhere in the house.

I had gotten a few pages in, when I remembered I had plans. I checked the clock above the TV, and saw that it was barely going to be nine.

“Oh, yeah! Dad?”

He set his newspaper down on his lap, and looked over at me attentively.

“Remember, I’m going to the beach today in La Push! I should actually be getting ready, but I just wanted to ask what time you’d like me to come home?”

This seemed to surprise him, as his eyebrows shot up. “Oh! Uh. Who’s going with you?”

I rattled off the names of the kids I knew by name and mentioned that Lauren might’ve been bringing other friends of hers from school, and that seemed to satisfy him.

“Mmm. Why not try shooting back home by eleven at the latest, hm? The cops around here aren’t too strict on the curfew, so long as you’re keeping things legal.” He leveled me a look, and I laughed in shock.

“Well! No worries about that, Dad. I don’t think it’s gonna be that kind of day. They want to go surfing in this weather, and I doubt inebriation would be wise on any wave.”

“You’re not gonna surf, are you?”

“As if, Dad. I don’t plan to get into North-West coast waves until summer.”

That made him smirk, and he nodded, seemingly satisfied.

“Well, as long as your driver is sober and has a back up, I suppose I can turn a blind eye to some kinds of fun you can have.” He winked before returning to his newspaper. “Eleven at the latest, okay?”

I could not believe my virgin ears ( _pfft)_ , and yet I didn’t want to ask too many questions.

Grinning like the Cheshire, I thanked him as calmly as could be, and went upstairs to get ready and head out.

— • —

I stayed in my truck a bit, as I was apparently the first one to meet outside of the Newton’s store, aside from Mike himself.

He came out of the store minutes after I got there, saw me and waved eagerly.

I rolled my window down as he came over.

“Early bird, Bel,” he said as he stopped outside the door, and he smiled. “Glad you could make it, man.”

I grinned. “Thanks for the invite!”

“If you want, you can get your things and claim a seat in my car.”

“Oh hell yeah, sure! Thanks.”

Settled by the window behind the driver’s seat, I stood outside Mike’s Suburban and just chatted excitedly with him about our day. He hoped that, if the weather report held true, the temperature would reach sixty degrees, and his surfing plan could pay off comfortably.

Jessica, Angela, and Eric arrived next, and claimed their seats too. Angela sat next to me, Jessica took shotgun, and Eric hopped into the very back, as he was on the shorter side.

Lauren arrived in a big van with Tyler, Ben, and her other friends, and soon the two cars were on the road. I was glad to have ridden with Mike, as Lauren’s van was packed.

Eric fell asleep stretched out in the back on his own bench, and his quiet snoring was the beginning soundtrack of the fifteen mile drive up until Jessica took over Mike’s radio.

She played a pop station, and I was singing along to the songs I recognized under my breath until Jessica encouraged us all to karaoke it. Eric even woke up and joined us.

Not a single one of us could hold a note, except for Eric, surprisingly.

This was easily the most loudest, zaniest road trip I had ever taken for a beach, and it was so worth it. It was an absolute riot, and our chaos continued as we made the last mile to First Beach.

Once there and having parked, we unpacked Mike’s van while Lauren and her camp did the same, and soon we had ourselves a little community on the beach.

We claimed an area with large driftwood logs surrounding a fire circle already in place.

A few of the other guys went off to gather drywood from the forest’s edge, and soon we had ourselves a decent fire going that would most likely last all night.

When everything was set up in the sand, I took in the sight.

Seeing the ocean be so grey during one of the warmer and sunny days was weird.

But the breeze was nice. I was in jeans with swim shorts tucked into my backpack (just in case), and I was fascinated by the fact that parts of the beach consisted of nothing but rounded rocks.

That, plus the fact that some of the forest led right up to the sand just blew my mind.

 _Meanwhile, in a world of insanity, I was actually contemplating getting_ in _this colder water!_

Perhaps it was officially time that Forks was getting to me. Or was I getting to Forks…?

All in all, with about fourteen teenagers all traversing the beach, trouble was bound to happen. Both directly due to our actions and indirectly.

For example, we all jumped as we heard Angela screeching in fear as Eric chased her around with a massive clump of seaweed.

That directly resulted in Angela’s recruitment of Jessica _and_ Lauren to try and toss the boy into the waves. I hoped he didn’t have a cell phone on his person, as he took an unwanted swim.

Karma.

Indirectly, Tyler opting to unexpectedly spend some time chatting with me instead of giving Lauren the attention she wanted from him turned her very cold towards me.

I really had no clue what to make of Lauren, as the times she was a nice person in general seemed to vastly undernumber the times she was a fucking jerk.

_Whatever_ , _Lauren._

As if I really appreciated Tyler’s incessant attempts to forgive me for the objectively minor damage to my car. He seemed adamant on casting his friendship on me as though that would make up for anything.

I admit, the guy was cool and all, but gosh. There could only be so many times one could say that he wasn’t at all into playing Magic the Gathering.

Amidst all the food, snacks, soda, blaring pop music, a few bowls of the devil’s lettuce from I didn't know who, and the all around stupidity of being a high schooler on a beach, I had the most fun I’d ever had thus far.

Mind you, I hadn’t smoked weed before, but I figured why not try it once?

Needless to say, the afternoon passed in a blessed haze. I was just surprised that even Angela took a drag or two. Her father was in the church, so I just kind of figured.

 _You know what they say about book covers_.

The sun was beginning its gradual descent beyond the horizon, and the expected gray clouds slowly crept in. Having sat myself before the bonfire the moment it was being lit, I was subjected to its glorious warmth from the start.

Some were exploring the various ecosystems around, others went exploring the sand and rocky shore, only a few from Lauren's camp were surfing plus Mike and Tyler, and the rest of us claimed some fallen trees by the fire.

I went on some minor exploring with Angela earlier, but kept it fairly light and dry. Didn’t want to risk falling into a tide pool and getting an urchin stuck to my shoe or something.

Angela and I eventually returned to the bonfire to claim some log, and chatted idly.

Someone graciously left us whoever’s boombox, and I was manning the radio stations. I was intent on keeping it pop, as nothing says a beach like pop music.

Most of my friends preferred alternative music, which wasn’t my cup of tea and pop wasn’t theirs. Still, I was adamant about living up a beach fantasy as closely as possible, and that fantasy required pop.

Ben Costa at some point came over and sat next to Angela, and they started talking about something. I let them have their conversation in peace, and took out _The Lovely Bones_ to see what Susie Salmon was up to.

I hadn’t gotten very far in the book, and had just read a part about Susie seeing different kinds of dogs in her heaven each day when Angela tapped my shoulder.

She quietly asked if I wouldn’t mind being alone so she could go for a walk with Ben. I glanced over at him, as he was blatantly not looking at me, and gave her a wink. “Have fun,” I whispered after she stood up, and off they went.

I turned the boombox volume up a bit, as the others were having their own private conversations, and found that I couldn’t read much anymore.

_Did that have to do with the music or the pot? Probs both. Hey, I wonder how Edward is doing..._

That was when I decided to put my book away.

I was quietly singing along to a recent, sensual song about milkshakes when I heard unfamiliar voices laughing.

I had to throw on my glasses to see who approached, and judging from the shared traits of long black hair and various shades of brown skin, it was a safe bet that they were some La Push kids come to mingle.

They all said various hellos to whoever they recognized and to those they didn’t, friendly as could be, and we all introduced ourselves too. I offered them some food, they asked to hang, and the more the merrier!

The rest of my group came back in waves, some coming from literal waves, and names were called as each person came into sight.

Jess was stuck to Mike’s side whenever he was alone, it seemed; Angela and Ben hadn’t returned yet, and I wondered if that meant more than what I thought it did.

An unidentified voice pulled me out of my thoughts.

“Huh?”

The new voice laughed at me, though it was a pleasant sound.

_Not aggressive, good!_

“Smells like you’ve been up with the trees,” he said, grinning broadly before taking a massive bite of his pizza slice. “Can I sit?”

“Sure, but I haven’t even left the sand, let alone climbed a tree,” I said seriously as he sat, and added, “Also, it’s amazing I understood what you said, that was a _big_ bite of pie, man!”

He almost choked on his food at that.

“Holy shit, you’re funnier than I remembered, Bels!”

_Wait, what?_

“Wait, what? You...remember me? How, ‘cause I don’t remember you!”

His mouth dropped open in what looked like feigned shock and hurt.

“Aw, don’t tell me you forgot who I am, Bels,” he cried.

“Heeey, whoa now,” I began sternly, putting up a hand to slow his roll. “Only my dad gets to call me Bels, let alone some kid who claims to know me even though I don’t remember him. Dude, who are you?”

“Damn, Bels, you’re so mean when you’re high.” Nothing seemed to dim his smile. He had a single dimple, and it was kinda cute. “It’s me, Jacob Black! Ya know, Billy’s kid?”

Lightning in a bottle, the memory of three siblings flashed brightly in my head.

“Oh!! That’s your name! Your sisters are Rachel and Rebecca!! I vaguely remember any of you, but you the least and I’m sorry for it!”

Jacob Black laughed it off, owed it to the trees I imbibed, and gave me a crash course on my missing memory.

Having been so invested into my drive down vague memory lane with Jacob, and possibly being more unsober than I thought I was, I didn’t notice the return of Angela and Eric until she had sat down next to me.

She seemed a little upset by the time I looked over at her, and that worried me. I asked her what was wrong, avoiding glancing over at Ben’s retreating figure, and she said she’d tell me later.

Looking to be polite, Jacob leaned forward to wave at Angela, she waved back and asked how we knew each other.

“We sort of grew up together when Bels over here lived in Forks back in the day,” Jacob explained, making it sound like we were thirty-five and reflecting on high school days.

I made sure to tell her that his presence in my childhood was welcomed as he was the only boy I befriended back then, and Angela seemed to nod in sympathy, a quick eye darting over to where Ben disappeared.

 _Gotta talk to her later,_ I told myself before casually changing the subject.

— • —

Jacob and the others he was with stayed for maybe thirty more minutes before opting to head out.

I made sure to give Jacob my number and instruction to give me a call sometime to catch up more, and for some reason Mike didn’t seem to like that.

Mike was a bit of a sourpuss to me as we began to pack our things, and I seemed to catch a whiff of jealousy, but I couldn’t be sure.

_What was up with the boys of my group today?_

The drive back to Newton’s was a long one due to the exhaustion, and I was grateful to be sitting in the very back with Angela. That way I didn’t have to deal with Mike’s sour attitude, and I could give Angela some quiet comfort.

Something clearly happened with Ben, and I wanted to just be a shoulder to lean on.

Or sleep on, as she had definitely nodded off on me at some point. I went for a nap too, with the sound of Jessica talking to Mike in the front and Eric snoring across the entire middle bench.

I woke when the car came to a stop, and everyone clambered off to their cars or respective rides. I made sure to slip Mike my intended cash for overall financial repayment, and kindly thanked him for the ride and dealing with us all.

That seemed to sweeten his sourness, and he nodded with a shy smile.

_Had to talk to him later, too._

Angela wasn’t getting picked up by her family, and had asked me to drive her home ahead of time, as she lived down the street from me.

I used that time to ask if she wanted to talk about what upset her earlier. She didn’t, and said that she would genuinely talk to me about it later.

She was quiet for the rest of the ride, and I made sure to get out the cab to give her a big hug.

“Thank you for being so nice, Bel.” Angela's voice was a little shaky as she pulled away to wipe at her eyes. “I really appreciate it right now.”

My heart hurt for her, and the world didn't feel right if Angela was sad.

_She had such a heart of gold…!_

I gave her another hug and gently reminded her that she could call or talk to in person me whenever needed. She thanked me again, and went inside.

Driving back home seemed endless, but I made it. I wasn't even aware of the time in all honesty, but the house lights were off, so I knew that Charlie was definitely asleep.

My bed had never felt so comforting until that evening. I didn't even change out of my clothes, I was so drained and exhausted, and promptly curled up on top of my covers and was out within seconds.

— • —

Forks had to have been messing with my dreams.

Usually, I had lots of nonsensical dreams that were obviously dreams, with a number of realistically plausible, if absurd, dreams to supplement the entertaining nonsense.

And a number of nightmares, too.

So color me surprised when I had a nightmare that seemed plausible, to a certain point.

It started off as any other day in Forks, thus far. Woke up earlier than I actually did, saw Charlie off to work, and made breakfast for myself.

School was next, and I befriended the Cullen-Hales and they sat with me at my table during lunch (plausible but unlikely?). I completely earned the game-winning point for my team in PE (which is how I knew with 95% certainty that this was a dream). Definitely odd and unlikely events, but possible.

It was when I got home that things got weirder. And not my usual standard for weird dreams.

For some reason I couldn’t remember after waking up, I was hounded by the thoughts of demons being at my school? They apparently had taken over the bodies of select students, according to the rumors, and no one knew which students were being possessed.

I went straight to my room, booted up the computer and waited for the internet to kick in.

Right away, the first thing I did was search up the word “demons.” From there, there was a montage of all kind websites telling me all they could about demons.

The dream got really fuzzy at that point, but there was one thing across all the pictures I saw that just really messed with me.

Every demon had hauntingly golden eyes.

— • —

My dream didn’t leave my mind for the rest of the day.

An extremely unfortunate thing, as I had an English paper to write, but I was grateful that essays were perhaps my definite strength in school. Well, at least some kinds of essays.

Research essays were a slog, and I had some trouble in structuring argumentative essays, but, overall, English was my perhaps easiest class. Too bad reading and writing about Shakespeare wasn’t at all interesting, and coupled with an otherwise preoccupied mind?

Dreadful.

Somehow, I forced myself to finish the essay, and it took most of my Sunday morning and bled into early noon.

Charlie was gone well before I woke up, which thankfully jarred me from thinking of that weird dream; he stuck a note to the fridge, explaining that he went out to go see some game at his friend Harry Clearwater’s place with Billy.

I’m very glad to know that Charlie had more than just Billy as friends.

Thinking about it, I didn’t really imagine much of Charlie in a social context before my return.

I figured he just lived a solitary life, with work being his marriage. I’m very glad to know that I was wrong in that regard.

Even if my old man was one for sports and fishing.

As the essay drained nearly all of my academic energy, I responsibly chose to ignore the rest of my homework and do it later. Instead, I chose to have a me day. Hopefully, those haunting golden eyes would leave my mind.

With Renée, I was lucky to have a PlayStation 2 at my disposal, before it just died on me one day. Which was expected, as it was a secondhand gift.

_I missed it all the same. RIP._

Video games were a lovely dive into various worlds I would otherwise not have thought of, and while I only had four games, I loved them all endlessly.

And yes, i brought those games with me...just in case.

I was happy that my mom had gotten me a Nintendo DS as a parting gift for Forks; it was also a replacement for my sadly stolen Game Boy Advance a month prior.

It was more than sufficient to tide me over when other forms of entertainment failed me.

And that’s more or less how I spent the bulk of my afternoon.

Sprawled out on the couch in different positions, playing _The Legend of Zelda: The Minish Cap_ , which had to have been the next best thing to getting to live a Thumbelina-like story. Or even Alice in Wonderland, as she, too, shrank and grew in size.

The phone rang suddenly, and I sincerely fell off the couch in fear at the loud noise.

Only after checking that my game and DS weren’t affected by gravity and the floor did I hurry to pick up the phone.

“Hello?”

“Hiya, Bels!”

I didn’t recognize the voice over the phone very well, but only one other person aside from Charlie called me by that name.

“Jacob? Jacob! Hi! Wow, I totally forgot I gave you my number.” Still, I was unexpectedly happy to get his call. _My first phone call with a friend!_

“Bels, you wound me. Anyways. Do you have plans today?”

“Not really. I was just gonna play my DS all day, most likely. Why?”

“Ah, you have a DS? I have a Game Boy Advance SP, myself. Cool! Well, hey, I wanted to see if it would be cool if you’d like to come over to my place and hang?”

Hmm. Well, it would be nice in theory.

Charlie knew who Jacob was, so that shouldn’t be an issue. And while I hadn’t really talked about friends coming over or going to see friends with Charlie, I figured that apologizing later would be easier than asking permission.

“Wow, really? Hell yeah, actually! Sure!”

“Awesome!!” I could hear his smile over the phone. I was smiling, too.

“Should I bring anything? I have a link cable, if you have any multiplayer GBA games.”

“Yeah, I do. Um, if you can swing it, maybe some cash for a pizza or something? We’re due for a grocery run soon, but dad’s been lagging, and I’m not about to have a guest be left unfed.”

I laughed. “No problem. Let me get a pen and paper, I’ll need directions there.”

— • —

The drive over was easier than I realized, and I’d hope I wouldn’t need to refer to the instructions in the future if I was allowed over again. I briefly had a moment of panic as to whether or not I left a note for Charlie, but recalled that I didn’t need to.

He'd see my truck when he dropped off Billy.

I picked up two pizzas and soda on my way out of Forks, as Jacob didn’t mind reheating it if needed, and soon enough I was parked in front of his house. Of course, as he heard my engine coming, he was already standing outside the door with a big grin.

I vaguely wondered if anyone was happy or not at having to hear this infernal engine again so soon after it left La Push.  
  
Billy's house was familiar in a vague way.

The red paint gave the house an overall barn-like appearance, and I suddenly remembered being delighted by the barn idea as a kid. I had a phase where farm life was but a dream, due to being with all the animals. I blamed _Babe_ and _Charlotte's Web_ for that, but thankfully came to my senses shortly after.

“You know that saying about hearing someone from a mile away?” Jacob asked as he came to the passenger’s side of the truck to snag the food as I grabbed my bag. “I’m pretty confident that it’s to be taken literally in this lemon.”

While I laughed at the idea, I was insulted at him calling my Grandpa a _lemon._

I knew that it was a term for cars that were very rusted and inoperable, or at least on their last legs. Or wheels, to be more accurate.

_Why did I know this term and from where did I get it?_

“Hey hey! Leave Grandpa Chev alone, he is not a lemon!” I followed him inside and closed the door behind me. When I turned around, Jacob was staring at me. “What?”

“Did you name your truck,” he began to ask, failing to hide bubbling giggles. “ _Grandpa Chev_?”

I glared at him, and that set him off as he went to the kitchen and set the food down. I followed.

“Listen here, you punk, you show Grandpa Chev some respect.”

“Bels, you’re a loon, did you know that?” He took a slice from the box and took a big bite, then got us both plates.

“I may have heard that before,” I mumbled dryly. “Uh, real quick, where can I put my bag?”

Jacob merely pointed out to the living room, and I set it down on the couch, and he followed with the food in tow. I saw that I didn’t nab the soda, and went to get that from my truck.

Two glasses awaited me on the coffee table, and I automatically filled them up before taking a seat on the couch.

“Want to watch a movie?” Jacob asked through a mouthful of pie.

“Sure, if you suddenly discover what table manners are.”

He rolled his eyes and shook his head, but he was smiling.

“Then I guess we’re gonna be bored with the TV off.” He clearly was spiteing me by chewing more obnoxiously, and I did my best to ignore that.

“Better to be bored with a friend than bored alone.”

“...Touché.”


	4. Show Me Your Teeth

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Bel doesn't like confrontation, but he also likes getting to the truth of the matter. Bel gets closer with some of his friends, like Jacob and Angela!

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm going to try my best to have the titles of all the chapters, from here onwards, be a reference to a song lyric I love while also being a very vague reference to the core of the chapter...or to reference a line from the chapter.
> 
> Another, minor task I hope to accomplish with this story it to properly date the setting in-story, with as many peppered in pop culture references of the era as I can. Lemme know which ones you spot, yeah?
> 
> And tell me in the comments if you recognize this song lyric title! :D

Honestly? I was a little worried about hanging out with Jacob.

It was bad enough that our reunion occurred with me being unsober. It felt like something else to reunite with someone you saw only a month per summer.

Despite that, Jacob was easy to get along with.

He reminded me that, until my birthday next month, I was just two years older than he was. Which set us off into this weird debate about the technicalities of my being born first.

Whatever movie he put on was totally ignored as we got serious about this argument.

“Okay, well, what time were you born?” Jacob asked, an eyebrow arched accusingly at me.

“I think...like 7:35 in the morning? I’d have to ask my folks to be sure.”

He snorted smugly.

“Got you beat there, Bels. I was born at 3:33 in the morning. On the _dot._ ”

“Jacob,” I began in exasperation. “I am _still_ at least two years older than you. Why the hell does the time of our birth matter?”

“Because I’m going to do the mental math to see who is _really_ the oldest,” was his simple reply, as if that explained it all. “Ya know, up here.” He tapped a finger to his temple, nodding to himself.

I squinted my eyes at him in disbelief.

“Ya know, for someone who is out to prove who is mentally older, you sure are acting like the _fourteen-year-old_ that you _are_.”

And that was a declaration of war all its own.

We went back and forth for an hour slinging stupid insluts at each other, getting more and more nonsensical by the minute.

I was talking about playground insults, the kinds of insults that were probably _worse_ than what an actual child could come up with. It was bad...in the best way possible.

We were ten again. And it was hysterical.

Beyond being absolutely stupid as we were, I also wanted to try and be a _bit_ responsible.

“Jacob, as hilarious as it’s been failing to burn you,” I said while drying my eyes of laughter tears, “let’s not give our dads any reason to prevent us from hanging out more.”

Having been rolling on the floor clutching his stomach in laughter, Jacob flopped onto his back, trying to breathe. I gave him a moment to recover.

“Uh oh,” he sighed. “This doesn’t sound so fun anymore.”

“I’m sorry but...we should probably do some homework, Jacob. I brought mine just in case.”

The dramatic person that he apparently is, Jacob mimed being stabbed in the stomach, and consequently died.

“Jacob.”

No response, even if his tongue flopped out of his mouth limply.

“Jacob…”

He appeared to be holding his breath, as I didn’t see his stomach rising with inhalation.

“Jake, c’mon.”

His eyes flew open and locked onto mine.

“Well, good morning, princess." Major sass, there. “Welcome back to earth.”

“You called me ‘Jake’,” he whispered almost...reverently?

“And…?”

And...the next thing I knew, I was being tackled by teenager and quickly gripped in a tight hug.

“Oof! Jacob, buddy, are you okay??”

“Yes.” His voice was muffled by my shoulder. “This is what friends do. They hug after giving each other nicknames.”

“But you haven’t given me one?” I pointed out, unable to return the hug as he had my arms trapped by his own.

That earned a loud gasp in my ear. He quickly pulled away and held my shoulders firmly.

“How dare you say that?” He whispered in horror. “I call you ‘Bels’,” he cried, “and _this_ is the thanks I get?!”

I swear, my eyes had to have rolled so far back to see the inside of my skull.

“If I hug you back, will you stop trying to become a thespian and just do some damn homework with me? I’ll help you out with yours.”

Jacob’s brown eyes shone brightly, and he nodded. He was completely hamming it up, and I had to fight so hard to not smile or even chuckle.

Feigning the world’s most exhaustive sigh, I hugged him as tightly as I could, and he returned the embrace.

“Was that so hard?” Jacob sniffled quietly.

I shoved him onto the couch after that, and he died laughing again.

— • —

Despite all the trouble he gave me on the road to responsibility, Jake was quick to run to his room and get his school stuff.

We set up in the living room on opposite sides of the couch, and rambled on as we did our respective work. I was impressed that I, at least, was able to talk and work simultaneously.

It was clearly determined that he was the better math student and had a weakness for writing, and I was the opposite. I helped him with an essay, and he managed to help me grasp the math concepts I wasn’t fully sure of.

Thanks to this, I let him have some leeway in our mental age argument in terms of math. Jake then balanced the points system thanks to my essay skills.

And we both lost points for disliking science.

We had just finished off one box of room temperature pizza when we heard Charlie’s fire car pull up.

“Ah, I gotta go help the old man in,” Jacob said suddenly, safely depositing his slice onto his plate before leaping up and heading out the door.

Confused, I remained on the couch, and heard Charlie greet Jacob and talk to Billy.

After a muffled commotion, Jacob held the front door open just as an occupied wheelchair was pushed in by my dad.

“Well, I’ll be,” exclaimed its occupant, with a big grin aimed at me. “If it isn’t little Jingle Bel!”

At once, the memory of the man from my childhood was placed as the man before me.

I was grinning too, and stood up to go shake his hand but he had his arms up for a hug. My grin grew, and I leaned down to hug him, much happier with this result.

“Jingle Bel, huh?” I asked as I pulled away, chuckling. “Sorry to say that I don’t remember that nickname, but I sure remember you and your hair. It’s great to see you again, Billy.”

He laughed, and I recognized that same laughter from his son.

“Likewise, kiddo, likewise.” Billy appraised my appearance. “Damn, when the hell did you get so tall?”

“Not as tall as me,” Jacob called from the couch.

“No one asked, you beanpole.” I quipped without looking at him. At the same time Jacob gasped, Billy let out a roar of laughter. Jacob had about an inch or two of verticality on me, which, for a kid his age, was tall.

Not that I would admit that to him.

“ _Damn_ , he is even sassier now that he’s grown, ya old fart!” Billy exclaimed after swatting Charlie on the ass once. My dad winced but rolled his eyes, not taking the bait.

_So, I was a sassy kid? Makes sense._

“I’m surprised to see you here, Bels,” he said, genuinely sounding it. “I didn’t think you’d remember little ol’ Jacob, here.”

“I’m not little!”

“I didn’t.” Billy laughed again. “He and his friends ran into us at the beach yesterday, and I didn’t recognize him at first.”

“And yet here he is, in my home and unable to resist my friendship.”

I didn’t even need to look over to see his smirk. His voice alone told me he was smug to all hell.

Charlie grinned and exchanged a knowing look with Billy.

“Well,” Dad said to me, “I’m glad you two are chums again, Bels. And Billy, nice seeing you as always, old timer.” They hugged. “Time for us to head home, though.” 

“Hey, thanks for paying me up, ya old fart,” Billy said, smirking up at my dad. Charlie, meanwhile, just glared back at his friend, but it clearly held no malice.

_Why did I suddenly imagine my future friendship with Jacob…?_

“And you, Jingle Bel!” Billy announced, earning my attention immediately. “You don't be a stranger around here, okay? You drive that damn truck up here as much as you'd like, you're family. And family is always welcome here.”

I met his eyes, saw his sincerity in his own and in his smile, and I was overcome with emotion. I hoped it was perceived as a positive, since there was no stopping my eyes getting watery.

I leaned down to give him one more hug, I just had to. Billy laughed softly and patted my back before letting me go.

“That means a lot to me, Billy,” I said warmly, voice thankfully in check. “And you'll get sick of me so fast, you'll regret those words.”

The man smiled real wide, and nodded. “Glad to hear it, kid!” His expression softened, as did his voice, and added, “Welcome home, Beltrán.”

In all honesty, only my family really got to call me by my full first name. In Spanish, even; as I didn't speak Spanish, my name in it always sounded odd to me.

And well, it just sounded so natural coming from Billy...

I could only nod in response, and next thing I knew, Jake launched another hug at me. My arms automatically wrapped around him, as some part of me expected it.

“Thanks for coming over, Bels,” he said happily, and pulled away. “Is it cool if I swing by to see Bels too, Mr. Swan?”

Almost at once, my dad winced at the absolutely formal title; I did, too.

“Good god, so long as you never call me that again, Jacob.” He huffed, making the three of us laugh. “I'd rather you call me Charlie than that ever again,” he added with a laugh. “Of course, kid. We're family, remember?”

“Hell yeah we are,” Jake laughed as he went in to hug my dad, too.

And with that, Charlie and I went off to our own cars, and I gave Billy and Jacob one last wave before following my dad home.

— • —

“Did you _really_ not remember who he was, Bels?”

We were inside at the kitchen table, munching. He had a bag of snickerdoodles open while I had Oreos, as well as a can of root beer each. Charlie wanted to live a little, tonight.

I exhaled sharply through my nose, glaring at him for enjoying that fact so much.

“I saw him only for a month for a few summers!” I cried. “I’m just grateful that I remembered the fact that he also has two sisters.”

A chuckle was his response as he shook his head.

“By the way, where did the nickname come from, Dad? Bels, I mean.”

His eyebrows shot up, and he asked, “Oh wow, Jacob didn’t tell you?”

“Tell me…?”

“Jacob was the one that started calling you that, kiddo.” He explained with a sparkle in his eyes. “At the time, he had a speech issue, and your first name was too much for him. So he asked to call you ‘Bels,’ since it was easier, but also because it meant that you were best friends. Because best friends nicknamed each other.”

_Well. At least Jake was consistent from when we were kids._

And that consistency caused me to blush a bit. Mostly because it was an embarrassing childhood story, but also because it was too cute for me to handle.

Charlie took that as his cue to turn in for the night, and suggested I did too. He went upstairs with a big yawn to get ready for his shower.

I followed shortly after, not realizing how tired I really was until the mattress was beneath me…

— • —

With such an amazing weekend under my belt, Monday felt almost too damn bland. School made the weekend seem like a fever dream, even though it very much happened.

Walking to my classes throughout the day, I noticed a lot of pink and red flyers stuck on the walls and on lockers. Without my glasses on, I had no idea what they were.

It wasn’t until Jessica and I were walking to Spanish that I realized what they were all saying.

“I wonder what I should wear for next Monday,” she muttered to herself as we took our seats.

“What’s next Monday?” I asked absently as I got my materials from my bag.

“Valentine’s Day.” Jessica sounded really dreamy, she practically swooned.

_Oh, no...great._

While I was surprised there wasn’t a V-Day dance this Friday, I also didn’t press this issue.

I tried to change topics.

“So, who are you asking to the prom, Jess?”

Almost at once, her eyes flashed to mine, though I wasn’t sure what they were trying to say.

Either way, class resumed then, but after, in the entire way to the cafeteria, Jessica talked excitedly about the dance. She didn’t relent even as we sat down with the others.

“Prom is girls’ choice, I know that,” Jessica continued to me and Angela, as Lauren was preoccupied by Tyler. “And I _am_ a modern woman who has no problem asking out a guy. But...c’mon, I’d like to be asked out by a boy.”

I traded glances with Angela, and we fought to hide smiles.

“You still haven’t answered the question,” Angela quietly pointed out.

The girl could only stammer before she found her voice and turned the question back to us.

“Oh yeah? W-Well...who do you want to take to the dance, _Angela?_ And you, Bel! Hoping anyone asks you in par _ticular_ , hm?”

As far as I knew, Angela didn’t have her eyes on anyone. She also was very frazzled by the spotlight, given her shyness, so I opted to save her.

“Okay, better question,” I said to Jess. “Do you have anything to _wear_ to the dance?”

Simultaneously, she looked disappointed yet excited by the question, and I was glad she seemed to catch on so quickly.

With my periphery, I saw Angela throw me a grateful look.

That was enough for Jess.

She flew into brief descriptions for what she’d _like_ to wear, and after externalizing her ideal dress and how it fit her, she concluded she’d have to go shopping.

Angela was automatically invited, despite Jessica’s annoyance at not knowing anything about her potential date candidates. Lauren briefly commented that she already found her dress, and wished Jess and Angela good luck in finding theirs.

Her sincerity in the sentiment surprised me.

“How about you, Bel?” Jess expectantly asked me. “Want to go with us?”

“We could use some male input,” Angela said in sing-song, prompting me with a smile.

Seeing as Lauren wasn’t going, I happily agreed.

That was the time when I realized how quiet the other boys were, and a glance informed me that the topic of the dance seemed to have put them on edge.

_Good._

The rest of lunch consisted of determining where to go, to check with our folks to see if we could go today right after school, and to spitball ideas for what to eat afterwards.

And while I was _trying_ to not be nosy, I couldn’t help but notice that, at the Cullen table, Edward seemed to be arguing with his siblings. Rosalie and Alice seemed to be the most involved, with Emmett trying to calm down Rosalie.

_I suppose I saw what Edward meant about being infuriated by them. He looked upset._

This was one more thought to put a pin in, definitely. 

Due to the fact that Angela and I did live closer to one another, and to save Jess some gas, I invited her to my place! She happily accepted.

Jessica said she’d call about half an hour or so after we got out of school, and pick us up from there. I told her that I’d have to ask Charlie if he was home, and if he wasn’t, I’d go anyways.

I politely spoke to Edward in biology, but only briefly, due to there being a test today. Graciously, Mr. Banner told me that, if I didn’t do too well, I could retake it in a week.

_A single perk to being the new kid in the middle of the school year, perhaps._

Unsurprisingly, Edward was the first to finish. My eyes followed him as he took his exam up to Mr. Banner, and asked to go to the restroom.

Before he was out the door, I saw him glance once my way. Then he was gone.

That would need to be unpacked later.

With nothing spectacular happening in gym, other than Coach letting us out early, the day was soon over. I told Mike about Angela coming over, bid him farewell, and went to meet her outside of her class.

She was pleasantly surprised to see me.

“What a gentleman, Bel!” Angela giggled. “Thank you for waiting.”

“Of course, Angela! Need anything before we head out?”

“Just a visit to my locker, please.”

“After you!”

Three weeks into Forks High, and thankfully everyone knew about Grandpa Chev’s limitations and shortcomings. He was something of a celebrity in the parking lot.

Any anxieties I had about him melted away with my naming him. My friends, if they had any unkind things to say, thankfully didn’t. Angela was one of them.

“I don’t know what it is,” she told me on the drive to my place. “But I’m just really fond of classic cars.”

This was surprising! “Really? Got a fave model?”

“Mm…probably the Volkswagen Minibus,” Angela said after some deliberation.

“No way!! That’s my all-time dream car!”

“What? What a coincidence!” She was equally pleased as I was.

We talked about the Minibus the rest of the way home, and even after we got there.

“May I please use your phone?” She tentatively asked after we settled in the living room. “I’d like to tell my family that I have plans.”

“Of course! I need to write my dad a note, myself. Excuse me.”

I went upstairs to give her a moment of privacy, as well as to empty my backpack of school supplies. Maybe a minute or two passed, and I figured that was enough time.

Back downstairs, I invited her to the kitchen and offered her any drinks or snacks, and made sure to pin the note to the fridge.

At the kitchen table, we chatted idly over milk and Oreos. School, how I was adjusting to Forks, and, the topic I was partially hoping would come up, boys.

_Is this what Jess feels like when she’s about to gossip? Especially about boys?_

Unexpectedly, Angela brought up the topic on her own after a natural lull in conversation.

“Um, Bel? Can I…” She bit her lip, meeting my eyes quickly before looking down.

I waited patiently, and she tried again.

“Can we talk about...the beach, Bel?”

Startled by how soft she was speaking, I could only nod.

Angela sighed, tucking some hair behind her ear.

“Okay...so. Um. Well, you know how earlier, Jess was...well, bugging me about the dance?” I nodded once. “Well...it’s related to the beach. Ben Costa asked me to prom there.”

In all honesty, I had some suspicions that unspoken feelings might be involved that evening, but the prom wasn’t at all on my radar.

“What part of _girls’_ choice aren’t these boys getting,” I muttered for comedic effect, and was glad when she chuckled. Lots of stories floated in the hallways about boys anxiously asking girls out.

“My thoughts exactly. Well. I told him no.”

“How come?” I asked gently.

This seemed to be the crux of the matter, as she bit her lip again. An anxious habit of hers, I noticed.

Angela seemed to want to say one thing, but she closed her mouth and shook her head, as if telling herself to not say it.

Then, “Bel, can I tell you a secret?”

My mind was racing miles ahead of whatever possible words were ready on her tongue.

“Of course, Angela. I’ll take it to the grave, whatever it is.” A little dramatic, but I was hoping to lighten the mood as much as possible.

She seemed to appreciate it.

“I told him no, only because there’s...someone else I want to ask.” Her voice got quieter and quieter. “But...I don’t think she’d say yes to me.”

I think I short-circuited for a second.

While _definitely_ not what I was imagining to hear, this was an area of expertise of mine, and I gathered my wits about me.

“I see. Well. You have about a month until our prom to ask her out.” I smiled a bit, to gauge Angela’s reaction. She seemed equally if not more stunned than I was in response to the pronoun she used.

“O-Oh.” That was about all she could say for the moment, and soon after had a faint blush coating her cheeks.

“Girls’ choice, remember?” I reminded her with a chuckle.

“You...you’re not...upset?” Angela leaned forward, her brown eyes imploring mine, almost as though she was analyzing my expression for a proper response.

“What would I be upset about, Angela?”

There seemed to be a telling pattern about this internal conflict of hers, and I just had to wonder how much of her father’s plausibly judgemental sermons she took to heart. That, or if her mother had any homophobic tendencies derived from cultural stigma.

As she was also half Mexican, I could only presume that could be a factor at all, given my own experiences in dealing with bigoted and ignorant family members.

She didn’t have a response to that question.

“Can I tell you something in return, Angela?”

It was her turn to only nod.

I leaned forward a bit, locked eyes with hers, and said, “I’m bisexual.”

For the briefest of moments, Angela’s expression was quite comical.

Eyes wider than the moon, looking absolutely floored by those two words. Then, I could visibly see the gears of her mind whirring at a rapid pace.

“That...that’s a thing?” I nodded. “How long have you known…?”

“Well,” I said, pausing a moment. “I suppose I’ve known subconsciously all my life. Retrospectively, I’ve always admired girls, it’s true. But I had lots of moments in my short life that definitely affirmed I’m attracted to boys, majorly. I didn’t officially realize until about last year. though.”

“A-And how old are you?”

“Sixteen.”

“You were _fifteen?_ ” Angela whispered, and I nodded again. “Wow. I...thank you, Bel, for telling me.” She went shy again, but there was definitely a light in her eyes, now.

It was lovely to see.

I smiled. “So. I guess it wasn’t being heartbroken at refusing Ben Costa's invitation to prom, huh?”

Angela stared blankly at me for a solid second, and then burst out into laughter.

— • —

Charlie got home, early, at the exact same time the phone rang. I briefly introduced Angela to my dad, and ran to answer it.

“Hello?”

“Bel? It’s Jessica!”

“Oh, hey Jess! Give me a minute, my dad literally just got here.”

“Sure.”

Putting a hand over the mouthpiece, I said, “Hey Dad?” He looked over at me after setting his things on the couch. “Jessica planned to take Angela to go dress shopping for prom today, and I’m just the male opinion tag along. What time would you like me home?”

“Where are you all going to shop?”

“Port Angeles.”

“Try and come home before nine,” Charlie said. “It is a school night after all.”

“Of course! Thanks.”

“Thanks, Mr. Swan,” Angela called from the kitchen doorway, smiling sweetly.

“Er, you’re welcome, Angela,” he said. “Have fun tonight, kids.”

He excused himself to go upstairs, and I shared an excited grin with Angela.

“Jess? We’re ready when you are.”

“Awesome!! I’ll be right over. Bye!” I hung up, and scurried back to the kitchen with Angela.

“Before we go,” I whispered to her, “I just want you to know that you can talk to me about anything you’re comfortable with sharing, okay? And that only you can decide any aspect of your identity, who you are as a person. No matter what anyone or anything else says, that’s a power that belongs only to you. And that power is pretty super, if you ask me.”

I winked for good measure, and was glad that the cheesiness of the sentiment made her smile.

Angela nodded, gave me a tight hug, and whispered, “Thank you so much, Bel. You’re an amazing friend.” She pulled back to wipe her eyes.

“Just don’t tell anyone. I have to keep up appearances that I’m just a klutz.”

That had her laughing and shaking her head at my silliness.

I took the time to put away the cookies and to wash our glasses, asked her if she’d like anything else to munch on before we hit the road, and we went back to the living room to wait for our friend.

With Jess behind the wheel we made it to Port Angeles in about an hour. Which, compared to my first trip there as a passenger, seemed far slower but also far more reasonable.

We listened to some angsty rock station that appealed to us all and sang what we knew while interposing with various topics of conversation. I made sure to focus any prom talk on Jess to spare Angela, especially after our talk in my kitchen.

By the time Jess found a parking spot, we made quick work for the store she had in mind.

Once inside, Jess was a predator stalking her prey, and made a beeline for the young women’s section. Angela and I followed at a more casual pace than our friend.

Possibly an hour or so had passed, and Jess had easily tried on the most dresses. All but three just didn’t suit her figure or skin tone, and I made sure she knew as much.

Angela was the one to give her a more in-depth analysis of Jessica’s top five dresses, and I pointed out a few things that they both approved of in three particular dresses. Jess went back with the final three to try them on a second time.

Meanwhile, Angela had found this pale pink number that played well with her height and figure, and called it a day. I was helping her choose some shoes when Jessica came back with accessories for her and Angela to try on.

In the end, Angela’s pink dress was joined by some cute, black, strappy heels with no purchased accessories, as she had plenty. Jess chose this electric blue number that went down to her knees, no shoes as she had lots, and Angela said she’d loan her some perfect jewelry.

All in all, it was a very successful shopping trip.

The girls thanked me for my input and for joining them. We went back to put their purchases in the car, and walked around aimlessly with arms linked together.

Angela suggested an Italian restaurant that we passed by on the drive in, and we made our way in that direction. It wasn’t crowded thankfully, we were seated right away, and after an appropriate amount of time, our waitress came over to take our orders.

I had chicken alfredo, even though I risked my stomach thanks to the dairy. It was worth it, as I hadn’t eaten pasta in ages. Nice and creamy, and definitely a regret for future Bel.

We had passed on dessert, and let the food sit a little before deciding to pay and leave.

Jess drove us back, and we were still riding the high from such a nice evening together. She dropped Angela off first, and we sang every pop song either of us recognized at the top of our lungs on the way to my house.

“Milkshake” came on just as Jess stopped in front, and we lost our minds singing the song together. We were in hysterics by the time the song ended, and it was absolutely the best way to end the evening.

— • —

Having that talk with Angela inspired me. So after gym the next day, I pulled Mike to my truck and invited him inside.

“This isn’t the part where you threaten my life, now, is it?” He was joking, clearly, but a small part of him was still concerned.

I rolled my eyes for his benefit, and he visibly relaxed some.

“Hardly. No, I just...wanted to talk to you about the beach day, is all.” He remained silent, so I went on. “I just noticed that you seemed a little upset when I caught up with my friend, Jacob, and wanted to talk about it, is all.”

It was a small hope that my calm voice and expression would’ve shown Mike that I wasn’t upset. That seemed to do the trick, as Mike sort of sighed and slumped in his seat.

“Gosh, I am so sorry about that, Bel,” he said quietly. “I just...wanted to spend some time with you after I had my fun surfing and stuff. Ya know, be your friend and all, especially as I invited you.”

He seemed almost ashamed to admit as much, as though I was going to reprimand him.

_I’m not your parent, buddy boy._

“I see! So...it seems like you were a little jealous by the time you saw me having a good time with Jacob, then?”

The last thing I wanted to do was put extra words in his mouth, but he certainly seemed jealous, then, and I just wanted to clear the air of the things he wasn’t saying.

Mike nodded once.

I chuckled. “Well, part of me thinks you’re an idiot for thinking you had to be ‘more’ of a friend to me. The other part is really glad you told me as much, man.”

He smiled bashfully.

“I forgive you, Mike,” I said, and I meant it. “But keep in mind that people can have as many friends as they’d like, myself included. Ya punk.”

“Yeah, yeah, I hear you. And thank you, Bel.”

“If you’d like, let’s plan a day to hang out. Just you and me, or maybe with one of the other guys, yeah? Just let me know. And remember that you have my number for this very reason.”

Mike’s answering smile was more relieved, and definitely reminiscent of the boy that first introduced himself to me.

“Sounds good. Well, all right, then. I gotta get going. See you tomorrow, Bel, and thanks again.”

“No worries, Mike. Drive safe!”

He nodded and let himself out.

And here I thought having friends with boys, straight boys no less, was going to be a challenge.

Speaking of boys and friends, there was still one boy I had unresolved thoughts about as a friend. I sighed and drove home.

Once inside and sprawled out on my bed, I remembered the note that Charlie left me, saying that he was spending time with Harry and Billy today after work.

Well. At least an empty house gave me plenty of space to think.

Homework was a priority, so I made sure to get that junk out of the way first, allowing me the opportunity to stew about things bigger than academia.

Edward Cullen.

_How do I feel about him at this point? How long had it been since he offered me his apology?_

I had to do the mental math, as it already felt like ages had passed, and so I consulted my Forks notebook.

According to my entries, Edward had apologized on January 31st, the day before my truck met Tyler’s van up close and personally.

_And it was already February 8th..._

In that time, I hadn’t really given Edward much more thought in all honesty. I didn’t mean to go so long without addressing the issue to myself, but I did have a lot of catching up to do, academically.

That, and slowly curating a routine and roots here in Forks was a learning curve all its own. In some ways, my mind was just too busy, believe it or not. But also, any longer of leaving Edward hanging might be rude.

After all, my notes reminded me that, post-car incident, Edward did go out of his way to talk to me, to ensure I was okay. I apparently wrote down that he also made an effort to talk to Tyler, too, as he was the _actual_ victim.

That was very kind of him, especially as he clearly wasn’t friends with many others at school, let alone Tyler Crowley.

_For that matter, did Edward_ or _his siblings have any friends at Forks High…?_

No, no. That was unrelated. And rude to even think.

Since my neutral response to him, Edward had been nothing but friendly to me. And not in that sucking up way that people seeking forgiveness do for the wrong reasons, either.

He offered help in biology when I asked and even when I was clearly struggling with something. He waved at me cheerfully and generally said hi almost whenever we saw each other outside of our one class. He even would have idle chit chat with me on our way to and from biology, on the rare occasion.

I know this isn’t a lot to work with, exactly, but what else was there to be expected of someone who was merely a classroom and school acquaintance?

Even on this side of his apology, it didn’t seem fair or exactly nice to have gone so long without giving him a proper response, regardless of my reasons. Though I was friendly and nice to him in return since then, it still wasn’t very friendly behavior myself.

_Damn. I almost wished I had confided into Angela about this issue myself sooner…_

No sense in lamenting the what-ifs and could-have-beens, though, right?

“That’s it then,” I said out loud to my empty bedroom. “Edward is forgiven.”

Well, with that out of the way, I figured I’d talk to him tomorrow.

Until then, as my homework was done, I returned to my DS and _The Minish Cap._

The doorbell rang ten minutes later.

— • —

Huh. Weird. I wasn’t expecting company. And we didn’t get many solicitors, or at least so far we didn’t.

I went downstairs to answer the door, and was definitely surprised by who stood before me.

“Hello, Bel.”

“O-Oh! Edward, uh, hi there!”

Lo and behold, it certainly was Edward Cullen at my door. “Uh, sorry, would you like to come in?”

“Yes, thank you.” I stepped aside to let him in, staring after him in wonder until he turned around.

“Please, make yourself at home,” I said, gesturing to the living room. He sat down on the couch, and the image seemed so foreign somehow. I sat on the sofa chair, wary eyes on him.

He took a moment to look around the living room, as he had the first time he was here.

Anxiety was spiking, so I figured I’d just rip the bandaid off.

“So, uh, Edward. How...can I help you?”

His eyes snapped to mine, and they seemed brighter.

Literally, they seemed brighter. This made me think that he had a varied multitude of yellow-colored contacts in his possession.

They seemed a little uneasy, guarded. He seemed nervous as I was, though I couldn’t possibly imagine why. That didn’t relieve any of my anxiety, either.

“Er...yes,” Edward began, and he sat up and gave me his undivided attention. “I hope you can forgive my unexpected arrival, but… Well. Honestly, I was feeling rather anxious...about what we spoke about last, and I… That it is to say, I—”

He cut himself off, balled his fists on his knees, and took a steadying breath.

I let out a sharp exhale myself, and took a gulp of air.

“Forgive me,” Edward said quietly. “I am usually more articulate than this, I promise.” He had a small, shy smile, and it made him seem rather boyish.

“That’s more than I can say for myself.” I offered a small smile of my own. He laughed quietly, eyes not leaving mine.

“Bel, I was wondering if you’ve given much thought about...about my apology,” Edward said lightly, even though that topic wasn’t so light, per se.

“O-Oh! Right.” _Very eloquent, Bel._ “I mean. Yes. Yes, I have, actually,” and quickly cleared my throat. “Um. Well, yeah! I was recently thinking it over, and I was thinking about how time had rather...well, slipped away from me since then.”

I felt myself rambling, so I reminded myself to breathe and speak clearly.

_This is a conversation, not the chopping block._

“I’m sorry for leaving you hanging, I didn’t mean for that to happen, no matter my reasoning.”

“Not to worry, Bel, I accept your apology.” Edward spoke gently.

“Thank you,” I replied. “And of course, I forgive you too, Edward. I...I admit, I had some moments where I didn’t know what to make of you at first.” His eyes looked hopeful now, yet there were still some shields in place.

“But I realized that’s just because I don’t know you...and that I’d like to get to know you, if that’d be okay.”

Edward stared perhaps a moment longer than expected, but I saw the moment that my words clicked, and...wow. It was like starlight appeared in his eyes due to receiving the best gift ever.

_Just when I thought he couldn’t get any more beautiful…_

“Thank you so much, Bel,” Edward said with a brilliant smile. “I appreciate your words very much. And I’d like to get to know you more, as well. Very much so.”

“Here’s to being friends?” I asked tentatively.

“Definitely. To friendship.” He raised an imaginary glass in toast. I toasted, too.

Hearing that pleased me way more than it probably should have, but it had me smiling too.

“That being said,” Edward continued. “I do hope I’m not interrupting anything important.”

I think I felt myself blush a bit, and then choked out a laugh.

“Not particularly, I promise,” I said through chuckles. “I was just playing video games in my room. Unless you, too, are fond of video games. In which case, I was terribly busy.”

“Apologies, but video games haven’t given me too much interest.” Edward raised an eyebrow. “So you’re a gamer, then?”

“I wouldn’t say gamer, exactly.” I objected, grinning. “That seems to imply that one is skilled at gaming. I, however, am not, and I mostly play games for the plot. Or because they looked really cool.”

“Hmm. Then, what would be your favorite video game?”

“Ahhh, that’s always such a hard question.” I looked to the floor in thought. “Well, it’s more the series as a whole, but I’ve always loved Pokémon. The show, the games...just not the trading cards. Never understood that particular game.”

“Not a fan of card games?”

“Ah, I am. But things like Blackjack or War. Trading card games are beyond my comprehension, and I’m okay with that.” I reluctantly thought of Tyler’s love for Magic, and restrained the urge to roll my eyes.

“So much for catching them all,” Edward commented with a crooked smile.

“Oh gosh,” I mumbled, rolling my eyes that time. “That is too much hassle in itself, especially as there’s already about 300 creatures to catch. And I’d bet that number will only increase as the years go on.”

While Edward allowed a laugh, I was briefly caught in an awkward moment again.

Yes, it was evident that, on some level, Edward and I got along. But it wasn’t like an instant chemistry, unlike the ones I had with...well, most of my friends thus far. There was something there, but it felt like there was a lot more I wasn’t reading…

Or I was possibly unable to read...if that makes sense?

And I felt the need to get to the bottom of this.

“Um, Edward?”

“Yes, Bel?” He was all smiles, and damn, what a difference a smile could make on an otherwise angsty mystery of a person.

“Can I tell you something?”

He nodded. “Feel free.”

“I...I don’t quite...get you, Edward.”

Edward’s expression sobered up real quick. There went the walls and shields, up and up and up around him, taller than the sky.

I didn’t give him a chance to speak.

“And god, do I not mean to offend you, I swear on my life…”

“I’m sensing a _but_ ,” Edward murmured.

“I don’t know what to make of you. And not in the sense of the both of us being teenagers in high school, either.” That made him grimace for some reason. “I know I’ve just established that I don’t know you, but that feels like such a different context.

“You feel like some obscure puzzle I don’t think can be solved. Or, that you don’t _want_ to be solved, based on what I’ve seen. Of you...and even of your brothers and sisters who are maybe equally as mysterious as you are.”

Edward seemed to be in a hot seat, and perhaps his anxiety response was to freeze up, for I barely saw him breathe.

“It seems that you’ve been quite...observant, shall we say?” Edward said through his teeth, it seemed. Though I couldn’t determine if this was due to frustration or being upset or what.

“It’s...well, not exactly hard to observe the black sheep in a herd of white wool.”

That raised his eyebrows.

“My siblings and I are the black sheep in this analogy?”

I nodded.

“Hmm. Observant indeed,” he muttered almost too quietly. At a normal volume, he added, “Is there anything else you’ve noticed about me or my siblings?”

I bit my tongue gently, unsure if this was a safe question to answer.

“What?” His tone sounded a little humorous, a little amused. “Are you worried I’ll laugh at you and your observations?”

“No. Well, yeah. I’m more worried that you’ll be upset...more than you already seem.”

Was that the magic phrase? The magic word? Him being upset?

Almost at once, Edward’s expression softened up, just enough for those walls to be lowered a bit. Just a bit, though.

Edward leaned forward, golden eyes locked onto mine.

“Try me,” he said calmly, before his mouth formed that crooked smirk of his.


	5. A Different Way of Coming Out

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Edward lays some breadcrumbs for Bel to find out the Secret. Shh... Bel is also invited to the Cullen abode!

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Yeah okay, so, my previous wish to incorporate song lyrics as every chapter title is already going downhill. I struggled so much to think of applicable lyrics that I know and love that matched what happened in this chapter or alluded to a line in the chapter, and came up blank. So, song lyrics for titles will be occasional, at best. xD
> 
> Also tbh, I was damn near ready to post this chapter on the 26th, but wasn't quite satisfied enough. Just figured I'd share that fact, as this story has given me such inspiration and desire to write again, something I haven't had for about a decade tbh.
> 
> I'm just happy to be writing again at all. :')

Something told me there was no backing out of this, now. I started it, so I had to follow through.

Was I about to regret even going there with Edward?

Possibly.

“Not even one observation?” He prompted softly. I hung my head in response, wishing the chair would just consume me. “Bel?”

“Well...you all don’t really eat much at school,” I eventually said. “Except for drinking water. I mean, I get that cafeteria food isn’t great, but that _is_ pretty odd. Five kids, all not eating at the same table? _Just_ drinking water?”

“Is it so hard to believe that we value what goes into our bodies?” Unless I was mistaken, his words seemed rhetorical. “As you said, cafeteria food isn’t the greatest, especially for our overall health. I promise you, Bel, we make sure we are well nourished at home.”

That was a moment in which I knew right away that he was bullshitting me. Despite this, it was a perfectly delivered line by a skilled actor, I admit.

For another audience, that is.

“Let’s pretend I’ll believe that, shall we?” He nodded, seemingly indifferent. “If you care so much for your body, what _do_ you eat then?”

There’s a first time for everything, so they say.

Edward’s responding grin was the first time that he intentionally worried me. It was slow to form, but it was very fixed. Almost like he was turning up the creepy factor; that made me want to look away.

Or run away, even.

But I held his gaze, and in doing so, I saw something else to his persona. Something more…

Haunting.

“Are you sure you want the answer to that question?” Edward wondered aloud lowly, too low to be appropriate. It was almost a purr…

“Hypothetically, right?” I said as neutrally as I could manage, though that something told me he somehow knew I was a little afraid.

“Of course, Bel.” That sounded sarcastic, but it was said too softly for me to be sure. “Hypothetically speaking: animal blood.”

_Did he just say…_

Oh shit, I could barely make myself _think_ those two words at the moment. Instead, my energy went to ensuring my face remained an enigma.

“If only I could read you,” Edward sighed wistfully. “It'd be so convenient for me…”

That sentence itself was vague enough for me to override my shock and keep up this interview.

“Read me?” I whispered, hesitancy mingled with curiosity.

“Yes,” Edward chuckled. “My family would tell you that I’m able to read them all rather well. Perhaps too well, in some cases, but alas.” He shrugged, as if that explained it.

“Okay, you lost me there. Clarification, please?”

He looked at me, met my eyes and scanned my face, before shaking his head.

“I’ll explain later, possibly,” Edward said instead. “Anyways. My diet. It consists of animal blood. Blood exclusively,” he concluded, leveling me with a poignant look.

Golden eyes flashed across my mind, only the eyes visible were amongst shadowy silhouettes.

The very golden eyes of the boy before me.

The very golden eyes of my nightmares.

The very golden eyes of fictional demons.

The very golden eyes of something true to life before me.

Not a demon, but a monster all the same.

A monster known across the ages and borders, a different name for the same creature.

The same creature that sustains itself with blood.

The same creature that the Cullen-Hales were, I knew without a doubt.

One word:

_Vampires._

Edward Cullen was a vampire!!!

— • —

This new information flooded my mind at a rate I almost couldn’t keep up with. Almost.

Edward clearly saw recognition strike my face, and his expression became grave.

“Bel,” he breathed. “Do you know what I am?”

I ignored his question, and replied with one of my own.

“Is that why you and your siblings are so...so _pretty_?”

Of all the things Edward probably was ready to respond to, this probably wasn’t one of them. How could I tell?

Watching his face contort in absolute disbelief was a pretty hysterical thing. I hadn’t seen his expression become so uncomposed before, so that’s how I knew I was onto something.

Even if I worded things too bluntly.

Several seconds passed before Edward managed to regain his composure, to school his expression to something more casual.

“Well, in a manner of speaking, yes.” I didn’t imagine that he could stutter, but if he could, he’d be tripping over his tongue. “Carnivorous plants have to allure their prey, after all.”

_Prey...allure their prey?_

“So then,” I began slowly, my mind’s pistons working in overdrive. “That would make humans your natural prey. Well, for the average vampire, I’m guessing.” Edward nodded grimly. “Why don't you and your family stick to your natural diet?”

“It’s a choice that I make, along with my family.” Edward spoke earnestly. “We don't want to harm humans just to survive. We abstain from what our bodies naturally desire at all times, using a substitute. It doesn’t sate our hunger quite the same, but it certainly works. The trade-offs are also worth it.”

“There are trade-offs to not drinking human blood as a vampire?” I was very aware of my incredulous tone, but I couldn't help it! “As in, plural? Multiple? Like what?”

He was staring at me as though _I_ was the one that just revealed that he was a vampire to a human, instead of the other way around.

“Forgive me, Bel, but I find your reactions to all of this a little concerning. Are you all right, Bel? Honestly, please.”

I waved aside his worries. “I am fine, I promise you, Edward. Really.”

For a near minute, easily the longest stretch of time under a minute in my life, Edward’s eyes probed my face for any sign of fault or fabrication. I was certain he wouldn’t find one.

“So you are,” he muttered to himself in amazement. He cleared his throat. “Anyways. Yes, drinking animal blood gives us other benefits. 

“Carlisle, my father, speculates that choosing animal blood allows our kind to act more civil, with more logic and compassion. Vampires who drink human blood are more instinctual, a tiger that knows to hunt only and rarely questions.”

“Well,” I began slowly. “If you put it like that, it seems like that it makes you more human, in a way. Or, maybe more like once being human, on a continual basis. Especially if regular vampires are as predatory and instinctual as I’m imagining.”

Edward frowned at that, but nodded an agreement.

“Essentially, yes. Carlisle believes that it’s why my family, and few others like us, are able to live amongst humans, if we choose. We’re able to more easily band together as a unit, as a family, in one given place for a time, while attempting to blend in with your kind.”

_Others like them? There are more animal drinkers?_

My god, I had too many questions buzzing around my skull and not enough mouths to ask them all.

“I mean, while it was clear you weren’t all related to one another, I don’t exactly think Rosalie and Jasper are twins, either.”

Edward laughed. “Nor are they our mother’s orphaned niece and nephew, you’re right. No, we call Carlisle our father because he created each of us, except for Alice and Jasper. They joined our family independently of Carlisle’s line of immortality.”

“Wow, so pop culture got one other thing right. Takes a vamp to make a vamp.”

“Yes, and it’s one of the few things pop culture has gotten right.”

“What else did it get right?”

He seemed to be appraising me again, judging to see what to tell more or to keep from me, I supposed.

Edward was hesitating.

“Forgive me, Bel,” he said. “It’s almost unbelievable that I’m actually informing a human about the existence of my kind, and that the human in question is taking this all in stride.”

Thinking on it, the best comparison I could compare this to would be an existential crisis. There’s nothing quite like rocking a boat that had been sailing steadily until a storm struck.

_Or something like that, I guess._

“Should I be more afraid?” I was mostly joking with that one. Mostly.

I say almost because, in retrospect, I was valid in fearing Edward as I once had. Though, now I had more contextual ideas as to why, and I felt more at ease despite this revelation, oddly enough.

“Yes,” Edward said simply but seriously. “You really should be. And yet, here you are, looking as curious as I’ve ever seen a human be about my family’s true identities, at least.”

That sounded odd in my ears, due to potential implications of what that could mean.

“Edward...how honest do you intend to be with me, now that I know about vampires?”

_Wow, it was getting easier to be using and thinking that word and actually mean it._

He hesitated again. “As honest as I deem it necessary, Bel.”

“Then...will you tell me how old you are?”

Moment of truth.

“Seventeen,” Edward said easily. Well, that was anticlimactic. Here I thought he’d refuse to tell me his age. But that did seem an honest answer, a human answer that he could share.

Wait…

“And...what year were you born?”

Moment of truth, part two.

Edward took a breath, and quietly said, “1901, Bel. And...I died in 1918.”

One look into my eyes probably told him what I was thinking.

“I was dying of the Spanish influenza in a hospital with many others. My parents had already died, and no one else would mourn me when the disease claimed me. Carlisle found me on death’s door, and decided to save my human life by giving me a vampire’s life. I was the first he changed, and he later changed Esme, my mother, after being near death herself.”

“Do you have to be dying to be changed…?”

“No, this is simply Carlisle’s way. He wouldn’t take a human’s life if they had a chance at living it out naturally.”

_Definitely important info to file away for later._

“This might sound dumb, but...did you have any say in being turned…?” This was a question where I saw no other way to delicately ask it.

Edward shook his head. “No, it’s not dumb at all, Bel. None of my family chose this life for ourselves, Carlisle included. Even now, a hundred years later, I’m still unsure if I would’ve chosen it, had I the liberty of choice back then.

“Permanence has no refund policy, I’m afraid,” he concluded darkly.

That statement was the one that had me at my quietest.

It felt like the decades of his life flashed across his golden eyes, enough for me to see that I would never have an idea for how he dealt with his immortality.

How he or any other vampire dealt with it.

I had nothing else to say to that profound fact. But there was something else I was immensely curious about, and changed the subject as casually as I could.

“I take it that you don’t have a huge collection of golden contact lenses then, huh?”

Edward stared unblinkingly, and broke out into laughter.

_Beautiful._

“Not exactly,” he said with a wink. “No, this is my actual eye color. Vampires that hunt animals will eventually have golden eyes, and Carlisle determined that the animal blood is what changes our eye color.”

“Huh. Well, what eye color does a vampire on the default diet look like?”

He smirked. “Red. Ironic, isn’t it?”

I shuddered at the thought, and nodded my agreement.

“Would you look at that? A normal response out of you, finally.”

At once, I said, “Being normal is _vastly_ overrated, Edward.” That earned another laugh, and he seemed to be in higher spirits.

_I hope I made Aggie Cromwell proud._

“You sure are something else, Bel Swan,” Edward remarked with that crooked smile of his.

“Well, thank you. As are you, Edward Cullen.” I paused a moment, and added, “Literally.”

I don’t think I’d ever admit this to him, but I could easily get used to Edward’s laugh.

— • —

“Ah, I believe I hear your father coming from up the road,” Edward pointed out. I looked out a window, expecting his car to pull up, but saw nothing. “Is it okay that I am here without your father’s permission, Bel?”

I hoped he wouldn’t have to leave, even though he was clear to stay.

After I got home from dress shopping, I made sure to clarify what the rules and boundaries were in terms of me going to see friends and having friends over.

All he said was that I had free range in that regard, that I didn’t even need to leave notes or tell him, and that any sleepovers here or elsewhere had to get an okay from him first.

So long as I’m home before 10pm on school nights and midnight for weekends, was the final caveat.

Charlie had to have been the most cool dad ever.

A question for later, though, was how Edward heard his arrival _that_ well...

“Yeah, of course you can be here,” I said honestly, and Edward nodded.

That was when Charlie pulled up, and I suddenly became anxious over the fact that I might be abusing his permission to have friends over at my leisure.

Dad came in with a heavy sigh, and called out, “I’m home, Bel.”

“Hi, Dad!” I said loudly, which instantly made Charlie jump and gasp; I bit my cheek to not laugh, even though I let out a noise from the back of my throat.

“ _Jesus_ , Bels, don’t scare me like that!” Charlie cried with a hand over his heart.

“No need to clutch your pearls, Dad, it’s just me,” I said with a giggle. “And my friend, Edward Cullen.”

At once, Edward stood up and offered a hand to my dad, who shook it.

“Nice to meet you, Fire Chief Swan,” Edward said politely.

“Ah, Charlie is just fine, Edward,” Charlie said awkwardly; he really wasn’t fond of titles. “Nice to meet you, too. My boy hasn’t been giving you too much trouble, has he?”

Charlie eyed me with a smirk, and my only response was to point a finger in a circle above my head, indicating a halo.

Edward saw this and chuckled. “Ah, I’d wager he’s given a fair amount of trouble, sir. Nothing more, nothing less.”

Dad nodded. “Sounds about right. You two getting up to any trouble tonight?”

“Not really. Edward swung by as a surprise. Speaking of, you’re home earlier than usual.”

“Ah, yeah, there really wasn’t much to do today. So I let everyone off early if they wanted. Didn’t want anyone dying of boredom, ya know?”

“Fair enough."

“You sticking around for dinner, Edward? You’re more than welcome to, if you’d like.”

That was a kind surprise to hear, though I doubt Edward would agree to it, now knowing what I did.

“Thank you for the invite, sir, but I’m having dinner with my family.” I supposed that was true enough.

“Ah, okay. Well, make yourself at home, Edward. If you’ll excuse me, kids.”

Once Charlie made his way upstairs, Edward sat back down. He looked satisfied by something.

“What’re you smiling for?” I asked warily. He leaned forward to whisper, and I leaned in, too.

“This is the most I’ve interacted with humans outside of school in a long time,” he confessed. “It’s rather exciting, in a way.”

I couldn’t imagine how he must be feeling beyond his words, but it was an amusing thing to hear. I giggled.

He sat upright, and spoke normally. “I should probably be heading home, however. I can only imagine how upset some of my family might be.”

I frowned almost at once. “Upset? Why would they be upset?”

Edward frowned too, though he seemed reluctant at having to explain.

“Let’s just say that there’s good reason as to why my family and I don’t often socialize at school or around town. I’ll have to explain some other time. If that’s okay with you, Bel.”

It was obviously some vampiric trivia that my dad, at least, couldn’t be privy to. Especially not in a rather old house with paper thin walls.

But hey, that meant that Edward was willing to tell me eventually, so I’d take what I could get.

“Ah, gotcha,” I said lamely. “Well. I guess I’ll see you at school tomorrow.”

We both smiled at the prospect, caught each other in that shared realization, and both ended up laughing a bit in the semi-awkwardness.

“Yes, you will. Until tomorrow,” he said softly, eyeing me with a warm gaze.

I could only nod dumbly, and he let himself out. I watched as he got into his Volvo, looked at me in the doorway one last time, and quickly drove off.

Took all I had to not swoon against the door jamb and sink to the floor right then and there.

But I pulled myself together and bolted up my room as quietly as possible to get to writing in my notebook, that’s for damn sure.

— • —

All morning long at school, I was just burning internally.

So many things to wonder, ask, talk about, dissect, discuss, and endlessly more to imagine about vampires. So many more infinitely interesting things to spend my time thinking of than human academics.

The ticking of each classroom clock mocked me, hour after hour, until freedom came during lunchtime. 

It was too easy to keep these secrets from Jessica, who was so curious as to why I was keyed up in both our classes together.

“Bel, breathe,” she told me in the lunchline. “It’s not like they have anything worthwhile to eat today.” We got our food and went to a table, and my eyes found the one table that currently interested me most.

There were only three vampires in disguise at the table.

Emmett was flanked by Rosalie and Jasper, and he seemed quite conflicted. To his left was an anxious Jasper and to his right was an upset Rosalie.

_Poor Emmett._

But...where were Alice and Edward?

“Excuse me, Bel?”

I gasped in my seat, and I would’ve jumped, too, had it not been for the gentle but firm hand on my shoulder. I looked to my left to see Alice.

“Oh, Alice… Hi. You scared me, I didn’t hear you come over.”

Cursory glances showed me that my tablemates were looking at Alice and I, with various expressions across their faces.

“I’m sorry." Her smile and tone told me she was amused. “Could I steal you away for a moment or possibly longer?”

“Uh, sure! I’ll just...take my lunch.” To my friends, I turned and said, “Sorry, guys, I’ll catch you all later.”

As I stood, Angela and Eric said guarded but friendly farewells, Jessica still hadn’t picked her jaw up off the floor, and Mike looked sour.

“I don’t think they like me much,” Alice whispered lightly as she led me across the cafeteria, away from her siblings and my friends, to a table occupied by the other missing Cullen.

As we sat down, I said to her, “You don’t sound too upset by that.”

“No, I’m not." Alice was smiling.

“Hello again, Bel,” Edward said, capturing my attention. He seemed as chipper as Alice did.

“Wow, haven’t seen you in for _ever_ , stranger!” I joked, and he grinned. “Well. This is different. For all of us involved, I feel.” I hoped my friends and their siblings weren’t as upset as I feared.

“Change is nice every now and then, I’d say,” Edward offered, and Alice nodded with a giggle.

“Now that you’re in the know, Bel,” Alice started, “my brother and I thought it would be a nice idea to keep you in the loop as much as possible. Which means, for any questions you might have that he won’t answer, _I_ will.”

“Alice,” Edward said waringly. “That isn’t what we agreed to.”

She ignored him entirely, and Edward could only sigh out of frustration.

“There are a few ground rules that you need to be aware of, concerning us,” Alice continued. “Well, one, really. Any idea what that might be, Bel?”

“Hm. Give me a moment." Alice nodded.

Of all the things about vampires that I do and do not know, this one rule might be extremely obvious. Perhaps too obvious…

Not killing humans seemed like an obvious one, but then that wouldn’t apply to Dr. Cullen and his family, as they already abstained from drinking human blood.

_For that matter, do normal vampires kill humans when they feed…?_

Then the idea hit me, and I realized that it _was_ too obvious.

“Oh! Secrecy,” I whispered. “Keep the existence a secret.”

Alice smiled, nodding. “Yup! Hole in one. While that breaks down into many facets, the main concern that you now have, Bel, is to keep our secret. Which I’m confident that you won’t have any issues with!”

“None at all, I swear,” I said at once. Alice laughed.

“We can discuss the specifics another time,” Edward murmured. “Alice?”

His sister nodded, and she looked at me with a big smile.

“I look forward to knowing you more in the future, Bel,” she exclaimed. “Something tells me we’re going to be great friends. Well, until next time! Take care.”

Without another word, she gracefully stood and went off to sit with the rest of her family, and sat beside Jasper. He was immediately relieved the moment she was by his side again.

_For a hot second, I forgot that they were dating. Rosalie and Emmett, too._

It explained the almost gooey way Jasper’s eyes became when he looked at Alice, as though she was a missing piece of him returned to its rightful place.

How sweet, in a way. Still a little weird, though.

“Please, forgive my annoyance of a sister.” Edward sighed, his face hidden by a hand. “There is no stopping Alice when it comes to getting her way."

Probably wouldn’t have been nice to laugh.

“Siblings,” I said simply with a shrug. “Not that I would know, but who cares for details, am I right?”

Another sigh, and Edward lowered his hand to smile tiredly at me. Dealing with an annoyance for a sister had to have been a draining thing.

“Don’t forget to eat, Bel, lunch is nearly over,” Edward pointed out. I took a bite of my pizza, figuring I’d save my apple and water for later.

“But yes,” he continued. “Feel free to ask me whatever questions you like. I’ll answer them to the best of my ability.”

I reminded myself to whisper, and tried to speak as vaguely as I could.

“Mm, about your eyes,” I prompted. He nodded for me to go on. “Do they change as you...eat, or something?”

“I...am rather surprised that you came to that conclusion so swiftly,” he admitted. “Your guess is correct, however.”

I shrugged. “Well, with the contacts theory out the window, there really was only one answer left.” I paused for another bite. “Your eyes were black on that first day. Like onyx.”

This made him grimace and frown. “You noticed that, despite my awful behavior?”

Another shrug. “I suppose. Now that you mention it, would you please explain that behavior? I’m no longer upset by it or anything, but I _am_ very curious as to what brought that on.”

Edward seemed to be deliberating with himself for a moment before he spoke.

“As you pointed out,” he began quietly, slowly. “My eyes were indeed black that day. For... _us_ , our eyes indicate how hungry we are. Like now, for example. I am quite full.” He winked.

“Fullness means more gold, then?” He nodded. “Damn. You must’ve been starving on my first day, then.”

“You have no idea,” Edward muttered through clenched teeth. “I was also upset, but I'll explain that elsewhere.”

Right. The school cafeteria wasn't the best place for detailed vampire talk.

“Hm. Nearly time for our class. Bel?”

“Yeah?”

“Would you like to meet my parents?” An innocent enough question, under normal circumstances. I think.

— • —

The bell rang, and I didn’t move right away.

Mostly because I was wondering if it had any implications beyond two friends getting to know each other more. And if there was some vampy inside joke I was missing out on.

My hands began gathering my things automatically, I stashed my apple and water bottle in my hoodie’s packets, and wolfed down the rest of my pizza.

I made sure that my friends had left the cafeteria before we did, and walked as closely beside Edward as he allowed. Which was pretty close, all things considered.

Close as friends, just as close as I’d be with Angela or the others.

Nothing out of the ordinary there.

“Actually, I’d very much like to meet them,” I admitted on the way to biology. “I take it, then, that they aren’t the ones possibly upset at me…?”

Edward’s voice was a little strained in response. “No, I promise you that they aren’t. On the contrary, they are looking forward to meeting you.”

I looked at his face with wide eyes. “They are? What, why?”

“Bel, I mean this with the utmost respect, but you are rather absurd,” Edward murmured through chuckles, shaking his head. “Come on, before we end up tardy.”

_At least he was comfortable admitting it to me._

We were definitely on the right track as friends.

Mr. Banner was starting a new unit today, and apparently it was going to start with a movie.

He rolled in the TV and VCR player, turned the lights off, and after that, I had no idea what was playing.

I owed my lack of attention to two reasons.

One, my mind had since been otherwise occupied with more compelling information since yesterday.

Two, Edward Cullen was sitting closer to me than usual.

What can be said, other than my being flustered for being so close to the guy I was possibly crushing on.

Okay, three reasons, as my mind was still abuzz with questions and vampire trivia to debunk.

Those aside, classroom movie days were hardly ever interesting, or were _actual_ movies. I’d hardly call any biological, educational film entertaining or fun.

Unless you were Bill Nye the Science Guy.

_BILL! BILL! BILL! BILL! BILL! BILL!_

Mercy arrived when the lights were turned on after the bell rang, and wow, was I actually excited for gym? Hardly, but it was a step up from this snore.

“It’s a miracle you stayed awake at all, Bel,” Edward said to me, and I was momentarily shocked he hadn’t bolted out the door as he usually did.

_Ask him later about vampire mobility, and if they were super fast._

“Honestly? It _was_ a miracle. I did not take in a single word or image on that screen.”

“Not to worry,” he said while trailing after me. “I doubt this will have been of any importance to the class.”

“I sure hope not.”

Once outside, Angela waved timidly at me before I saw her scurry into the throng of students. Mike was apparently waiting for me, leaning against a wall, and he looked conflicted.

Uh oh.

I turned to Edward. “Let’s talk about meeting your parents after school, okay? I promise.”

“Of course,” he said with a nod, a hint of a smile visible. “I’ll see you in the parking lot, Bel.”

“Okay!” Edward threw a glance behind me before making off to his class, and I turned around and went over to Mike, feeling nervous.

“Ready for gym?” I asked him with feigned excitement, and continued walking. Mike walked closely beside me, arms brushing every now and then.

“Bel, can I tell you something?” Mike asked quietly as the noisy hallway would allow.

Oh boy. I just nodded.

“I...I don’t really like Cullen,” he confessed.

_Knew it._

“If you ask me, Mike, that wasn’t much of a secret,” I said acidly. “You aren’t subtle with your body language, at all. And his name is Edward, don’t be rude.”

That shut him up. For about thirty seconds.

“I thought you weren’t friends with him?” Mike persisted, and, on the spot, I whirled on him.

“And _I_ thought we had already established the boundary regarding my friendships, Mike.”

That deeefinitely shut him up and had his attention.

“If there is one thing I personally won’t tolerate from my friends? It’s someone passive-aggressively hounding me about who I hang out with. I’m barely getting to know you, dude, and I’m starting to get a sour taste in my mouth.

“I like you, Mike, you’re a cool guy, but this seriously has to stop. Whatever your issue with Edward is, I ask that you don’t project it onto me. If you can’t do that, that’s on you, and then we just might have an actual problem.”

I exhaled sharply, closed my eyes, and counted to three. Mike thankfully was still quiet.

“I am going to walk ahead, on my own, to the gym. I understand if you’re upset, but so am I, and I need some personal space to cool down for the moment.”

With that, I spun on my heel and power walked it to the locker room, and didn’t once look back.

— • —

Mike should consider himself extra lucky that Coach didn’t mark tardies much, otherwise I wouldn’t have dunked that little speech onto him.

At that moment, anyways.

Mike didn’t say a word to me as we changed, and I was, for the moment, okay with that.

The rest of PE went on, and I did my best to put Mike out of mind so I could concentrate on not hurting myself or others on the last day of volleyball.

By the time Coach called it a day, fifteen whole minutes before the final bell, I jogged back to the locker room with some other boys and was in my regular clothes in record time.

I made for the parking lot right away, and just sat in my truck to try and cool down before Edward came around.

Anxiety told me I was too harsh on Mike, that I didn’t give him a chance to explain himself, but I tried to ignore that particular voice in my head.

First it was minute jealousy over Jacob at the beach, and, separately, there were several, consistent micro-aggressions about Edward.

That’s two people Mike had given me grief for associating with, one of whom was loose association by proxy of a shared class, and I didn’t want there to be a third person.

Harsh, but valid, I felt.

Especially if Mike’s apparent animosity towards Edward made itself known _before_ I befriended him. I wanted to put a stop to it so that there wouldn’t be even more passive-aggression _after_ Edward and I became better friends.

I groaned, resting my forehead on the steering wheel. “So much for cooling down, Bel.”

There was a gentle tap on the passenger window, and I hoped to the stars above that it was anyone but Mike Newton. Except maybe not Lauren.

A peek over, and there was Edward Cullen, looking quite apprehensive.

“I just need a moment,” I said loud enough for him to hear through the glass. I watched as Edward walked around the front of my car to the driver’s side, and I rolled down the window.

My head was still resting on the steering wheel when he asked, “Is everything all right, Bel?”

I groaned again, softly this time. “No. I practically yelled at Mike Newton in the hallway after bio, and I feel crummy about it.”

“I know. I heard,” Edward admitted reluctantly.

“What? Are people _already_ talking about it?”

“No. I mean, they are, but that’s not what I meant.” Edward looked as distraught as I felt. He leaned closer, and whispered, “I mean I _literally_ heard you.”

That didn’t make sense, and I mostly faulted my frazzled brain. “What?”

“My kind have far superior senses to even the best of human senses.” He allowed himself a small smile, more for me than anything.

_How good_ is _vampire hearing…?_

“Oh. Well. I’m sorry you had to hear that.” I felt more miserable than I did before.

“You’re upset,” Edward acknowledged. “Due to defending me, I might add. How flattering, Mr. Swan.”

Even I couldn’t be much of a grump when Edward was attempting to make me feel better.

“Well, that wasn’t the first time he got weird over a friend, and I don’t want there to be a third time.”

“I see. Shall we change the subject?”

I nodded and mumbled pathetically, “Yes, please.”

“Would you care to meet my parents, today?” Edward asked lightly, which had me sit up at once.

“Today, really?” He nodded. “Oh, crap. I mean, sure, of course! Uh, should I bring something? Should I change into nicer clothes? Should―”

“Bel?” Edward kindly interrupted, and I ceased my rambling. “Do your best to relax, Bel. I’m taking you to simply meet my parents, not invite you to a formal dinner.”

_Deep breath in through nose, exhale through mouth…_

Once calmer, I nodded. “Right, okay. Okay. Uh, how much time do we have until we have to head to your place?”

“We have as much time as you’re allowed out on a school night.”

“Okay. Can I take my car home first, then? That way I can bring some food, in case I get hungry.”

“Naturally.”

“Okay, thank you.” Something then occurred to me. “Oh, whose car did you and your family arrive in?”

“Ah. Mine,” he admitted. “Don't worry, I had given Alice my keys earlier to take our siblings home, if that’s your concern. Which I thank you for, it’s very considerate of you.”

“Oh. Well, you’re welcome! But wait. Did you plan on being in my car for the drive to your place?”

“It was a possibility,” he said enigmatically before walking back around to the passenger’s side, and I leaned over to unlock the door to let him in.

“I might have some more questions for you, admittedly,” I said as I pulled out of the school parking lot. “I hope that's okay.”

“Of course it is. Ask away.”

“You said you have superior senses, you've compared yourself to a carnivorous flower, you've compared...regular vampires to tigers. _Are_ vampires predators like tigers? Are you super strong? Did pop culture get some, if any, of your physical prowess correct?”

Had I to wager a guess, the excited curiosity was clear in my voice, and was thus responsible for the bits of Edward’s laughter.

“Okay, so maybe I have a lot more questions,” I amended without shame.

“Naturally,” he said. “Yes, we are predators; perhaps the world’s best, overengineered predator. We do have immense physical strength, durability, speed...the list goes on. I’ll have you know, our kind is widely responsible for the various human myths and beliefs regarding vampires.”

“Really?” My voice was colored in surprise. “How so?”

“In the old days of witch hunts, humans mostly failed to catch the genuine monsters they sought. So we monsters hid as best as we could. Over time, we knew what humans were capable of, and how gullible they could be, too.

“The ancient vampires of the era began spreading word and rumor of ways to best our kind, to give your kind a false sense of security. Silver, garlic, stakes to the heart, you name it. All of it wouldn’t even so much as scratch us, let alone actually harm us.”

I was completely enthralled, and forced myself to keep my eyes mostly on the road.

“Is there any way to kill a vampire then?” I looked at Edward, and his puckered face was enough to say that I found a question he was reluctant to answer, if he chose to.

“Yes,” he eventually said in an exhale. “We have to be ripped to pieces and set aflame, to be absolutely sure.”

I winced. “Damn. That sounds incredibly brutal. Ripping someone apart, even a vampire, seems extreme. And doesn’t give a very good mental image.”

Edward snorted. “Let’s hope it’s something you never have to see, for as long as you choose to associate with us.”

There was a curious statement!

“Does that mean,” I began slowly as I came to a stop in front of my home, and looked at him fully as I killed the engine. “That there could be more I’d be able to see…?”

He looked away from me, then, a hard look on his face as he stared through the windshield.

“Possibly,” Edward finally said, looking back at me, and his expression lightened up considerably. “For now, though, let’s get some food for the human, shall we?”

We went inside, and Edward sat at the kitchen table while I went about making chicken salad for sandwiches, with thickly sliced tomatoes and plenty of mustard on each slice of bread.

At the last minute, I added pickles, and Edward sniffed in displeasure.

I looked at him curiously. “What? Is vinegar the real weakness for vampires, and not garlic?”

“They both smell unappetizing to me,” he muttered. “Does that honestly taste good to you?”

I was wrapping my food in foil and placing them in sandwich bags. “Completely! I love sandwiches. They’re a very versatile food, in my opinion. I grew up on them.”

While he clearly disliked the smell, that admission softened up his expression.

“What do you mean?” Edward asked curiously.

“I ate them a lot in my childhood for lunch, dinner, snacks.” I smiled at the memory.

“My Nana always made the best sandwiches, even when I liked few ingredients in them. She coaxed me into adding more things to them over time, and making them together was a nifty little bonding moment for us.”

“What a lovely sentiment,” he said when I looked over at him, as he was rather quiet. “Your nana meant a lot to you. It shows.”

Before I even knew it, I was crying. No sobs, just tears welling up and spilling over.

Edward looked mortified. “Bel,” he whispered, “why are you crying?”

I dabbed my eyes with my shirt’s collar, sniffling and chuckling. “Sorry. They’re happy tears. I haven’t really spoken about my Nana lately, let alone to a new friend. It’s still a little hard.”

That was my verbal limit for the time being. I ducked into my bag for my water bottle and took a swig.

“I’m okay, I promise,” I told him with a smile. “I’m going to go grab a different bag, be back in a sec.”

He just nodded, and I could feel his eyes on me as I took my backpack upstairs.

I wrote a note for Charlie saying where I’d be (even if I didn’t need to write notes, it felt weird to just leave anywhere without some form of notice for him), and transferred my wallet, keys, and water bottle to the small messenger bag I kept in the closet.

Back downstairs in the kitchen, I carefully slid my dinner into the bag, and was ready to go.

Thankfully, Edward instructed me on where to drive, as he said that his house was a little difficult to get to. That was a major understatement, as there was an off-road to take that was easily missed if you didn’t know what to look for.

“What did you mean back in the cafeteria?” I asked, as we still had a ways to go. “You said you'd explain that day when your eyes were black.”

“Ah, right. That.” Edward seemed reluctant again. “Your blood smells quite appetizing to me, Bel. Which must sound crazy, I know and I apologize for that. But it does. And as I hadn't fed that day…”

I saw where he was headed with that. “You were just very hungry...for my blood,” I concluded quietly. “Well. Please don't eat me, Edward. I like having blood in my veins.”

I couldn't tell by his expression if my attempt at humor was successful. Edward continued.

“You said that you thought I was a hateful person, based on those unfortunate first impressions I gave you. I was upset, not at you, but at myself for having irrational thoughts due to your blood. But I swear to you, Bel, I am in full control of myself.”

“I believe you, Edward,” I said easily, meaning it. “Thank you for telling me. Is there any way to make my blood less appealing to you, though? To possibly help you?”

“I'm finding that spending time with you is desensitizing me.” That was surprising to know.

I smiled. “Well. That I can certainly help with!”

We fell silent, comfortably so, and I wondered how much more we had to go on this road.

The farther I drove down this forest-surrounded path, the more anxious I got, and too soon enough, we’d officially arrived at the Cullen home.


	6. For the First Time in Forever

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Bel spends an evening at the Cullen-Hale abode, and may or may not have sung along to the Spice Girls while he was at it.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Okay, I have to be honest. When it comes to Charlie being a fire chief, I have no clue wtf I'm writing about beyond what a google search can tell me. I also just got the idea from a tumblr post I saw, which inspired the choice to make Charlie work for the fire department.
> 
> So if anyone has actual insight on what being a fire chief is like, please let me know in the comments. Otherwise, I aim to make details of Fire Chief Swan's work as minimal as possible. XD

Having killed the engine, I found that I didn’t want to leave the sanctuary of Grandpa Chev.

Mostly because this huge house looked like it was a century old, or older for all I knew. It had a wraparound porch, from what I was able to see.

Wraparound porches were something I’d always associated with the Southern USA or old western films that my Nana loved. But I supposed it was fitting for a house of vampires.

The house itself was a faded white, and had a simple elegance I couldn’t quite place, as architecture was not at all my forte. What I could detect was that it was three-stories tall, and that I didn’t want to set foot into it for risk of breaking anything.

_I sure hope that “break it, you buy it” doesn’t apply to a vampire dwelling…_

“Edward, I hope everything inside this beautiful home is insured,” I said nervously, though I meant the compliment. He just laughed.

“Someone’s nervous,” he remarked quietly, though he sounded amused.

“I want to make a good first impression, and I’m suddenly unsure if a graphic t-shirt of a cat on a bed of fries is the way to go.”

Edward chuckled again, and in the next few seconds, he was outside the driver’s side with the door open, smiling warmly at me. “It’s a good thing that you’re wearing a jacket, then, isn’t it?”

I glared at him for that, he snickered, and I got out, draped my bag across my chest and gripped the strap. It became my anchor for the duration of my anxiety, as doing so usually did.

Edward walked beside me at my pace, and I was grateful for it. He took a few quicker steps to open the door for me, I thanked him quietly, and stepped inside to the tallest hallway I’d ever been in.

This hall clearly was gutted and renovated to become this high-ceiling affair, and the natural lighting from the windows had positively brightened up the pristine white interior of nearly everything inside, all varied in shades of white.

Most surprising was the entire southern wall of the house, completely made of glass, and beyond it was a river not too far from the house itself.

A little ways into the entry hall and to my left stood a stunning grand piano stood atop a raised portion of the floor, a small stage of sorts, and I marveled at it; I’d never seen a grand piano in person.

I also couldn’t keep my eyes off the huge curving staircase to the west of the entry hall; staircases were a pain to climb sometimes when one was tired, but I appreciated the aesthetic.

From the top of said staircase were the two vampires of the family I hadn’t visually known before, and they came down in a streak of color, and my eyes had trouble keeping up. One moment I saw them at the top, and the next they were standing at the bottom, an arm each looped around the other.

_Carlisle sure was a looker all right, just like Charlie said. But so was Esme, gosh!_

To my left, Carlisle was tall, pale, handsome like nobody’s business, and had friendly, golden eyes; he was full, I acknowledged to myself. His blonde hair made me think of Jasper and Rosalie, and I could possibly see how the three could pass off as related, if needed.

To my right, Esme contrasted Carlisle visually. She was about my height, had something of a healthy tan, and was absolutely lovely. She was round where her husband was lean, huggably so in a maternal sense, with a heart-shaped face that was framed by caramel-colored hair.

I wasn’t the best at discerning ages, but I’d have to wager they were both in their thirties at the least. By human standards, they both looked healthy as could be, so they could possibly pass as a few years younger (if needed). Esme did seem as though she could be older than Carlisle...in human years, that is.

Vampiric beauty seemed to erase any obvious signs of aging, as I saw no such laugh lines or crows feet amongst their warm, welcoming expressions.

_Damn, so much rides on how humans perceive them,_ I thought to myself. _Being a vampire living amongst humans must be difficult._

“It’s a pleasure to meet you, Bel,” Dr. Cullen said, his voice gentle and inviting. Very befitting for doctor-patient rapport, I imagined. He stepped forward with a hand offered, and I shook his hand at once. His hand was icy, but I had expected that, from what I remembered of Edward’s grip on my wrist.

“Likewise, Dr. Cullen,” I said brightly, completely at ease now that I determined that my presence here was sincerely welcomed.

“Please, call me Carlisle,” he replied, smiling still, and I nodded. As he stepped back, his wife stepped forward, and gently took my hand in hers.

“Welcome to our home, Bel,” Esme said warmly with a beatific smile. “It is so wonderful to meet you.”

“Wow, you both are so kind,” I exclaimed with a grin and chuckle. “Thank you for having me over! I genuinely appreciate it. Even before I was told about you all from Edward, I was curious to meet you both."

Understandably, Carlisle and Esme looked stunned.

“Really?” Esme asked earnestly.

“Definitely,” I said with a nod. “My dad spoke very highly of you, when I asked him about your family. I, um. Was told a few things here and there about your family from some classmates, and figured that the opinions of other teenagers couldn’t really be taken seriously. So I consulted an actual adult.”

I was rambling, I knew it, and maybe they all did too, but I felt compelled to try and earn their favor outside of simply knowing about them being vampires. I really _did_ want to make a good first impression, after all.

Thankfully, my words were taken in stride, as Carlisle just laughed and nodded in understanding while Esme said, “I see! Well, all the same, Bel, we happily welcome you.”

“Edward, Bel, I must apologize,” Carlisle began a touch sheepishly. “I have a brief errand to run. I merely wanted to meet our guest before I had to step out. Do be sure to make yourself at home, Bel,” he added to me with a smile.

“Thank you, Carlisle!”

He nodded at me, smiled at Edward, and briefly kissed his wife goodbye before excusing himself and suddenly disappeared, too fast for me to determine where he went.

“Esme, where are the others?” Edward politely asked.

“Out hunting,” came a new voice at the top of stairs, and after a blink, Alice appeared beside her mother as though she was there all along. “Hi, Bel!” She grinned happily, and easily came forward to give me a gentle, cold hug.

Esme’s eyes widened a moment, clearly not having expected Alice to be so affectionate with me (surprised me, too), but she smiled softly at the sight, briefly sharing a look with Edward while I returned Alice’s embrace, and then she stepped back.

“Hey, Alice,” I replied to her, unable to keep from grinning back at her.

“Jazz and the others will be returning in ten minutes,” Alice announced, to no other response by either Edward or Esme other than a nod. “Carlisle will return in an hour,” she added to Esme, who nodded to her daughter.

“Thank you, Alice,” Esme said. To me, she added, “If you need anything at all during your stay, Bel, we will do all we can to accommodate you.”

“Oh, please, no,” I began nervously with a chuckle. “Don’t go out of your way for anything, r-really, Mrs. Cullen.”

“No need to be so formal, dear, call me Esme,” she said kindly. “And it’s no trouble at all, I assure you! It’s the least we can do.”

We exchanged a few more pleasantries until she decided to let us be, and she towed Alice with her. I could’ve sworn I saw Edward throw his adoptive mother a grateful glance, but he schooled his expression before I could be sure.

“Would the human like a tour?” Edward asked me softly, looking far more at ease than I’d seen him in my short time knowing him. It made sense, thinking more on it.

It’s far easier to be yourself in the comfort of your home, after all.

— • —

The tour took longer than I had anticipated, not that I was complaining. While the near mansion-status of their home was huge, I didn’t foresee that it was filled with so many things of interest. And I didn’t just mean the unique, pristine, and modern furniture.

While the first floor held what was to be expected (entry hall, kitchen, dining room, guest bathroom, living area, and some extra rooms converted into spare offices meant for human practicalities and facade), I had so much trouble in just keeping my mouth shut for all the little things that caught my eye.

Edward assured me that, should I come over more in the future, he’d tell me any and every story I could think to ask of. “You do have a curfew of sorts,” he reminded me.

The second floor was more interesting, as it contained the master bedroom of Carlisle and Esme (it seemed more like a fancy hotel suite, really), Rosalie and Emmett’s room (we didn’t go in there room, as their door was closed), Alice and Jasper’s room (we also didn’t go in there, but I managed a glance through the open door), and more offices.

One room was Carlisle’s study, which also doubled as a small library all its own full of things of Carlisle’s long history, and one for Esme, where Edward revealed that she was an architect (as a _hobby!!_ ) with emphasis on preserving/restoring antiquated buildings and homes.

“Our home is entirely Esme’s work,” Edward informed me while I gazed about her office, which, like the rest of the house thus far, was immaculate and organized. Everything had a space that was just so.

“What, the _entire_ house?” I asked incredulously, and he nodded with a grin.

“When you don’t need to sleep and have near infinite strength, one can do anything they put their minds to,” Edward said cheekily.

“You don’t need to sleep?!”

“Nor do we need to breathe,” he added casually. “But we do when needed, as we heavily rely on our sense of smell.”

I was gobsmacked.

_Why the hell weren’t more humans becoming vampires then?!_

A memory returned to me as we left Esme’s office, a memory that finally had context.

“You didn’t breathe that entire hour in biology, did you? On my first day?”

“You noticed.” He stated that quietly, sounding troubled.

“You were also impossibly still that day, too,” I added, looking at him with curious eyes. “Is that another vampire thing?”

“Very observant of you, Bel,” Edward muttered. “But yes. I could be completely immobile, indefinitely if needed. I’d fear I’d be shipped off to a museum, though, if I was that still.”

We both got a laugh out of that, but these revelations made my mind swarm.

The last stop on the third floor was Edward’s room. There was more up there, but at the mention of his room, I was immensely curious as to what was inside.

Unlike the rest of the house I’d seen thus far, his room wasn’t entirely white. One wall was part of the huge glass wall, meaning his room faced the south and had a great view of the river, greenery, and the mountains in the distance. His floor was covered by a thick, lush golden carpet, while the remaining walls were draped with thick fabric of a darker gold.

Curiously, his only furniture was a black desk, desk chair, and leather sofa. To complete the room was a fancy sound system in the corner, as well as the western wall being lined with many, many shelves of CDs. I felt sorry for any music store here in Forks or Port Angeles.

“Well, I suppose not having a bed makes sense,” I remarked absently as, with his silent permission, I edged further into the room.

“You suppose correctly,” Edward confirmed, a grin in his voice. I walked to the wall of music, and realized how much music really was in the world. I saw CDs in different languages, all kinds of genres, and countless soundtracks.

I recognized so little, though as a self-claimed pop princess, that wasn’t a surprise.

“What, no Spice Girls?” I joked, and almost at once, he went over to the rightmost side of his shelves and plucked a CD, showing it off to me with a smirk.

“They were an international sensation, after all,” was all he said, and popped that disc into his music player. Right away, I started unabashedly singing along to their debut single.

Up until my stomach started growling, and Edward’s laugh startled me.

“Bel, why don’t you eat?” Edward suggested amusedly, gesturing to his desk. Embarrassed, I went over with a small nod, sat down, and plucked my meal from my bag.

As I carefully unwrapped the foil and flattened it to the desk, a makeshift tray that I carefully took a big bite over, Edward draped himself across the sofa, eyeing me with bright eyes.

Midchew, I glanced over and felt self-conscious due to his staring. “What?” I murmured through a mouthful of food, telling myself to save a sandwich for later.

“I’m patiently awaiting an onslaught of questions, is all. I can only imagine how quickly the cogs of your mind are turning.” He sounded slightly regretful about that, and it had me ponder something Edward once mentioned.

“I forgot how you worded it, but you once said something about ‘reading’ me. What did you mean by that?”

“Oh, that,” Edward mumbled, then sighed. “I can read minds, Bel. Whatever someone is thinking at a given moment, I can tune into those thoughts and hear them as if they were spoken aloud. I’m like a one-way walkie-talkie, to everyone except you, and the minds of others are just a cacophony of sound at all times.”

His eyes traveled my face quickly, as though expecting this revelation to be the key to unlock my apparently silent thoughts. The following look of disappointment told me otherwise.

“Mind reading, huh?” I took a bite, and thought about that while slowly chewing.

If I hadn’t already seen evidence of the lightning speed in which they moved, if that was the first thing about the existence of vampires revealed to me, I would’ve thought that he was crazy.

Also, it just seemed a bit convenient that mine was the one brain he couldn’t pick at his leisure. Which, now that I thought of it myself…

“That’s kind of invasive, don’t you think?”

“Invasive?”

“Well. Yeah. It’s intruding on the privacy of others, majorly. I know it’s something that we humans like to list as a desired superpower, but that’s something that not just anyone should be able to do, ya know? I mean...do you _always_ listen to the thoughts of others?”

Something like understanding dawned across Edward’s face.

“I see your point, and you’re right,” he said. “No, I don’t always listen. I usually ignore all of the chatter in my head, honestly, especially the human chatter.” He rolled his eyes. “Human thoughts can only be so interesting. In general, I mostly try to listen for thoughts that could potentially out my family.

“As for here at home, my family has gotten used to it. Whatever I do hear from them that they wouldn’t verbally tell me, I keep to myself. We don’t keep secrets here. It’s not fair for what I can do, and the same goes for Alice.”

“Can she read minds too?”

“No, but she has a power of her own. She can see fragments of the future.”

At once, I gasped loudly, nearly dropping my sandwich.

“What, like Raven Baxter?!” I excitedly asked.

“Raven Baxter?” Edward had confusion in his voice and eyes.

I could not believe what I just heard...

_All the time in the world at his disposal, and he doesn’t watch TV in his spare time? Not even if he was bored? What kind of teenager_ was _he?!_

“We will discuss that criminal admittance of yours later, Edward,” I said gravely. “Alice can see the _future_? Like, _really?_ ”

“Er...yes, Bel. I wouldn’t lie to you about this.”

“No, no, I’m sorry, I don’t doubt your words. It’s just...this is a lot to take in. Vampires have powers?”

“You don’t need to be sorry,” Edward said, sitting up and leaning forward. “And not all vampires do. In my family, it’s just Alice, myself, and Jasper. My brother can...alter the emotions of others on a biochemical level. Make someone calm or excited, that sort of thing. He can also get a ‘read’ of people’s feelings, too, something like how I can read thoughts.”

I frowned. “ _Make_ someone feel things? Reading people’s thoughts? What’s up with the invasiveness of these superpowers of yours?”

“No one really knows exactly why we have these extra abilities,” Edward admitted. “We have ideas, but nothing concrete. I recall being very adept at reading people in general as a human, and that carried over when I was turned. Jasper was very charismatic in his former life, and he figures that’s how his power manifested in this life. Only Alice’s gift is a mystery, as she has no memories of her human life.”

“Oh. That...seems sad, about Alice,” I said gently.

“Yes, she’s a curious case,” Edward said thoughtfully. “Vampires generally have a hard time remembering things from our human lives, but we have murky memories at best. Some things we retain completely. Alice, however, remembers nothing at all.”

The more I learned about vampkind, the more I wanted to know altogether. So many questions, endless and endless questions…

“If it’s okay with you, I just might need to put a pin on this conversation,” I admitted after a sigh. “I’ve so much to process, holy crap…”

“If you’d like a break, I can properly introduce you to my siblings,” Edward offered.

— • —

Edward guided me down to the garage after I gobbled the rest of my sandwich, having ignored it for our conversation.

The garage was an external addition to the main house, which is where he said he heard the rest of his siblings conjugating.

When we got there, I was immediately stunned by how many fancy looking cars the Cullens all owned. It was just so _spacious_ , it was essentially a house all on its own!

I recognized the silver Volvo and the red convertible in the middle, of course, and was stunned by the black car closest to me and the huge Jeep at the far end. I definitely would’ve remembered either of those.

As for the vampires, Emmett was sitting on the hood of the Jeep talking to Jasper, who leaned against the driver’s side; I was shocked by how tall Jasper really was, in comparison to the big car he leaned against.

Most surprising, however, was short Alice, who stood at the front right side of the convertible, holding it up from beneath the bumper at least a foot in the air.

With one hand.

_Okay, I definitely believe that they’re vampires. No doubt about it._

“Hi, Bel,” she happily called out, waving with her free hand. I waved back, as I wasn’t able to use my words.

Sensing my shock, Edward placed a gentle hand at my back, and I appreciated the gesture, feeling less anxious because of it. I looked over at him, and he just grinned.

_Vampires are really real, and these ones are good_ , I told myself, and walked over to join the others with Edward in tow. As I was about to ask where Rosalie was, I saw a pair of legs in jeans sticking out from beneath the convertible, and answered my own question.

“Bel, this is Emmett, Jasper, and Rosalie is fixing up her car,” Edward said.

“So _this_ is the famous human we’ve heard _so_ much about,” Emmett said with a smirk, throwing a glance at Edward and Alice. He sniffed the air once, and chuckled. “Wow. You do smell pretty nice, Bel.”

At once, Alice was glaring at her bear of a brother, and Edward was too. I could’ve sworn I heard Edward whisper something. It was too low for me to hear, but it made Emmett snort.

“I...am going to take that as a very unique, non-threatening compliment,” I said. “Thank you!” Emmett just smiled a bit sheepishly.

“It’s a pleasure to meet you, Bel,” Jasper said in something of a southern drawl, nodding at me with a polite smile.

Rosalie didn’t say anything, as she was clearly busy working on approximately three thousand pounds of metal, and I didn’t want to bother her.

“It’s great to meet you all, too!” I said, despite not technically having met the apparent mechanic of the family.

“So, Bel,” Emmett said perhaps too casually; Edward groaned beside me, and I had to figure he read his brother’s mind. “Now that you’re in on the know, think you’d like to become part of the family?” 

“Emmett,” Edward hissed through his teeth, but the burly vampire ignored him.

“So, whattaya say, Bel?” Emmett persisted, golden eyes alight with curiosity.

I looked at the others, all staring at me save Rosalie, though her work on the car came to an abrupt halt. The ensuing silence became a bit too uncomfortable for my liking.

“I, uh...didn’t know that was an option." My voice wavered, which made it sound like a question.

That was when Rosalie gracefully slid out from under her car and was on her feet in the next second. And _wow_ , did I not like the glacial glare she threw my way before turning it to Edward.

“There shouldn’t even _be_ an idea of an option for him,” Rosalie said before tossing her hair to throw her glare to Emmett, and quickly exited the garage altogether. Alice sighed, and carefully set the car down.

“I, uh, am sorry about her,” Emmett said, sounding like he meant it, and followed after his...girlfriend? That was going to take some getting used to...presuming I’d be welcome here anymore after this.

Trying not to frown too deeply, I turned to Edward and quietly asked, “Did I...do...something to have upset her…?”

Admittedly, I hadn’t seen Edward look so devastated as he was just now. Maybe I looked more upset than I was letting on, maybe I was getting an echo of deja vu from when Edward himself looked at me coldly.

Either way, I wasn’t fond of being so openly disliked.

“Not at all, Bel,” he said gently. “Rosalie is just very protective of our family, and is a bit overzealous in her worry about a human knowing what we are.”

“Oh.” God, even to my own ears that sounded pathetic, a dejected puppy denied treats or affection.

“I wouldn’t worry about her too much, Bel,” Alice said, having walked over to me at a human pace. She gently squeezed my arm, and said, “I have a feeling things will work out eventually.”

“Did your future sight tell you that?” I asked with a weak smile.

“Maybe. Or maybe I’m just so confident about our family’s first human friend fitting right in, despite Rosalie’s pessimism!” She put an arm around my waist and gave me a gentle squeeze.

That got a smile out of me, and I leaned into her embrace, bringing an arm around her shoulders in gratitude. “That has a nice ring to it,” I admitted. “First human friend.”

“We look forward to knowing you, Bel,” Jasper quietly said, having moved a bit closer to us.

“Thanks, Jasper,” I said, meaning it. I remembered that he could...read emotions, and I hoped that he could read my sincerity.

— • —

So, aside from officially meeting all of the Cullens, there wasn’t much else the four of us did aside from just talking at the dinner table. Which definitely was the most interesting thing I could think of doing, aside from inquiring about the things about their house.

I did my damndest to have us speak about ourselves equally, but as much I’d get really invested in much of their collective vampiric histories, they’d get caught up in varying aspects of my humanity and my perception of it.

After all, they hadn't been human for who knows how long.

But also, after that sour interaction with Rosalie, I didn’t want to exactly overstay my welcome; the three of them insisted that I stay, though.

Despite that reassurance, I was feeling very anxious over not wanting to further provoke the vampire that didn’t like me. Or, I should say, the one vampire that didn’t trust me with their secret.

Jasper, surprisingly, was more of a talker than he let on. But when he was quiet, he was intently focused on my face. I didn’t think he was using his power on me, as I imagined I’d feel it if my body underwent a sudden mood shift without my direct knowledge.

In all honesty, I didn’t really understand the biochemical thing Edward spoke about. So while I munched on my second sandwich, Jasper explained his ability.

According to him, he essentially acted as an external hormone and/or hormone modulator.

As an example, he mentioned that when humans are in danger, adrenaline spikes in response and triggers the fight or flight response. This all happens without a person thinking and without their will, like how we don’t need to actively decide to blink or breathe.

In that scenario of fight or flight, Jasper could put a stop to my production of adrenaline to calm my body down, if I was acting irrationally, and thus possibly save me from endangering myself.

“Huh. That’s kind of cool, Jasper!” I said. “But, please, don’t use your power on me unless I ask you to. I like being in primary control of how I’m feeling at any given time.”

“That’s fair,” Jasper said, smiling a bit.

Alice, however, had a slightly more difficult time explaining what she could do.

She went on to say that the future was always shifting, whereas the past already happened and thus nothing could be done about it. There were glimpses of things that _could_ happen that popped into her head, and that these glimpses were all based on decisions and/or intentions.

“You could decide to take a different route home than usual,” she offered as an example, “and, since you wouldn’t be familiar with that new route, anything could happen for the rest of your day. I could see the various possibilities of what could happen thanks to this new route!

“You could intend to go do some grocery shopping, and I could see the various purchases in your cart as you went to the check out line even before you decided on what to buy, whether or not you made a shopping list.”

Alice went on to elaborate that the smallest of things could influence the future in big ways, just as the biggest decisions could have influences on a given, possible future in small, easily missed ways.

I concluded that her explanations were a little complicated, but I got the gist of it. Mostly.

“You really are like Raven Baxter, then,” I said. This clearly confused her and Jasper, as their faces were rather blank. I sighed.

“She’s a character on this show called _That’s So Raven_ , and she has visions of the future. Though unlike your future vision, hers usually leads her, her friends, and family into various amounts of hijinx.”

Alice was surprised and intrigued by the premise of this show, and suddenly had a glossy look in her eyes. It took all my might to not blurt out that Raven also had a similar, if not more goofy, expression when she had a vision.

“What was that, Alice?” Edward asked, staring hard at his sister.

They looked at each other for a silent minute, and I looked to Jasper to see if I was missing something. He just shook his head, eyes fixated on Alice’s face.

“Interesting,” was all Edward said after. Alice shrugged, though she gave Jasper a significant look before changing the subject.

— • —

An exact hour after Alice’s initial prediction, Carlisle returned home. He warped into the dining room to say hi, and flew off to who knows where. Alice and Jasper went with him, and Edward’s eyes trailed after them.

They still held a hard edge to them.

“Edward, is everything okay?” I whispered worriedly. He met my eyes, and that edge lingered before softening slightly. His guard was still up, for whatever he’d presumedly seen in Alice’s vision.

“For now, yes,” he replied, also whispering. “We ask Alice to keep an eye out for any of our kind that might stray close to Forks. We try to intercept them as much as possible, though we rarely get any stray visitors.”

“So she saw that you might be getting some visitors, then?”

“Maybe. It’s best to be prepared in any probability.”

“Better safe than sorry,” I said with a nod, and spoke at a regular volume. “That’s my policy anyways.”

“And yet you chose to associate with a vampire,” Edward muttered, eyeing me.

“Hardly true when, at the time of my initial association with you, I didn’t know or even suspect you of being a vampire. All I suspected was just that you were either just very weird or a complete asshole of a person.”

He frowned. “I’m not sure I’m fond of being either.”

“You’d rather be thought of as an asshole of a person over being weird?”

He hesitated, then sighed. “No, I’d rather be seen as weird.”

“Good. You’re already there, anyways.” I smirked, and he raised his eyebrows in amusement.

“Who would have thought that swans could be so sassy?”

“Swans can also mess up anyone who provokes them,” I quipped with false confidence, fully knowing that I am, in fact, not a fighter in any capacity.

“Try taking on Emmett, then, and see if you’re one those swans.” Edward chuckled.

“I think I’d have better luck with an agitated grizzly.”

“Probably.”

While I would’ve loved hanging out with Edward and his family, it was starting to get dark, and I wasn’t fond of driving around after sunset. It was time to head out.

Edward wordlessly led me to the front door, and I tentatively announced to the house that I was leaving at my normal speaking volume. I heard Emmett shout from somewhere else for me to drive safely. I laughed and thanked him.

Carlisle, Esme, Alice, and Jasper all came to the front to see me off, I hugged the former three and happily waved at the latter. Esme kindly told me that I was welcome to visit again whenever I’d like, and I warmly thanked her and Carlisle.

And just like that, the aforementioned vampires all flew away, leaving Edward and I alone in the entryway.

“Have I mentioned how cool the speed thing is? If not, just know that it is.”

Edward cracked a smile. “We sure would give Sonic a run for his money.”

I grinned. “Easily. Edward, thanks for inviting me over. Today was really fun and educational.”

“It was certainly enjoyable to be able to have you spend time with my family and I.” His reply was sincere, and, unless I was mistaken, there seemed to be an undercurrent to his words. I couldn’t be sure, and didn’t bother to elaborate, knowing six other vampires could hear us.

“I’ll see you tomorrow at school, then.” I tried to not make it sound like a question, but that was the end result anyways. We had a class together after all.

“Of course. Safe travels, Bel.”

Driving away from the biggest, most public yet private secret in all Forks was surreal. I wouldn’t say it was like closing a typical fairy tale book, as this wasn't exactly a story of glass slippers or magic kisses. But there definitely was magic at play, here.

Not good, not bad, but magic all the same. Oh, and with plenty of blood, apparently.

Back home, a quick and clipped voicemail told me that Charlie was most likely going to have to take a 24-hour shift. That had me worried, as he hadn’t had many of those during the near month I’ve been here.

“Stay safe, Dad,” I said quietly to myself.

Charlie had explained to me, after his first 24, that sometimes there was just a huge demand for first responders for any number of reasons. Thankfully, they weren’t too common in such a small fire station like here in Forks.

“I consider myself lucky that our station, at least, moved away from the 24-hour shift,” he had told me. “Too many mistakes can be made in the second half of the shift, mostly due to sleep deprivation.” He went on to explain that he worked his ass off to fight against keeping that system, and a compromise was made.

The shift became a last resort card, and only when situations were dire. But also, there were plenty of other financial and operational benefits to the movement away from the 24-shift, alongside health and safety, especially in such a small town.

I didn’t sleep too well that night, worrying about Charlie even in my dreams.

— • —

Over the next month, I developed a new routine. One that was definitely jarring for my friends, at first. And it made me realize how difficult it was to juggle a social life.

While I had friends back in Phoenix, there wasn't much socializing after school, even when Renée lent me her car on occasion. So to go from little socializing to being in demand for far more than I was used to was definitely a shock.

But a pleasant one.

I made great efforts to divide my time between my humans and the vampires as evenly as possible when at school.

One week would see daily rotations of who I’d sit with at lunch, for starters.

For three days, every other day, I’d sit with Jess, Angela, Eric, and Mike in a Monday, Wednesday, Friday format. Tuesday and Thursday saw me sit with Edward, Alice, Emmett, Jasper, and Rosalie; the last of which was even less thrilled at sharing her table with me.

And the following week would be reversed, where I sat with the vamps three days out of the week with the remaining two being with my humans.

Rinse and repeat this across four weeks, and bam. Friendships.

This way, I would be able to equally get to know and spend daily time with both sides, and have an equal chance at getting to know the two groups as a whole. Getting to spend time with individuals of my humans was a bit more tricky, but I did my best.

I dedicated two afternoons to any of my humans. This involved studying at one of our houses, getting lunch or dinner in town, goofing off in Port Angeles, or just staying indoors for a tv marathon.

I usually spent those days with Angela, Jess, or them both, as I was more fond of the girls than the boys. Except for Eric, as he was as much a dork as I was, if not more; he was just so easy to get along with.

Mike, however, was another story entirely.

It’s not like I disliked Mike! He was a cool guy, he really was. But it became quite apparent that he developed something of a crush on me, and didn’t know how to come to terms with the idea of being attracted to guys. Or, one guy, in his case.

I had to emotionally distance myself from him for a short time, as he had proved to be a bit too emotionally volatile for my liking.

It took a lot of conversations about sexuality, identity, internal _and_ external biphobia, and, ultimately, self-acceptance, but we eventually managed to settle as acquaintances, at least. I was still chummy to him, but not as much as Eric, and definitely not as much as the girls.

And then there was Jake.

I didn’t get to see him much, despite his clear desire to hang out with me more. But as he was going to school up in La Push and with me juggling my own school crowd, it was just difficult and a little stressful to try and see him as often as I saw the others.

Still, I made sure to reserve one afternoon a week for him exclusively, and refused to compromise on that. Friday afternoons eventually became known as Black Fridays, and Jake totally enjoyed the joke about the worst day for shopping in the USA.

Except, it was probably the best part of my after school week with my humans.

We were never bored.

While I’d often drive up to his house in La Push, often with Charlie to see Billy, I made sure to bring Jake down to Forks every now and then. Amidst homework and lots of pizza, we’d play our handheld video games together, go to the chilly beaches of La Push, or just hang in his garage that doubled as his sanctuary.

“My dad can't go to the garage anyways, the ground is too uneven for his chair,” Jake explained to me one day when I asked about it. We got up to a lot of stupidity in his garage, sans any parental oversight.

He also introduced me to his best friends, too!

Quil Ateara V (Jake’s cousin, I learned) and Embry Call often came to hang out whenever Jake was working on his Volkswagen Rabbit, housed in the garage, though this often just ended up in some wrestling match between Jake and either of his best friends. The one who didn’t wrestle would have a bet with me over who we’d think would win.

I always bet on Jake, and usually won some extra cash that way.

Reluctantly, I gave Jake some age points for knowing a _lot_ about cars. He got real smug after that, the shit.

At least, I thought this sort of scheduling was efficient. For me and my anxiety, anyways. Edward teased me about getting me a planner.

Ha ha, mister comedy genius. Ha ha.

Meanwhile, spending time with Edward and the vampires was less stressful than with my school crowd in some ways, and a bit more peaceful for my frazzled brain.

While two afternoons were dedicated to my human crowd, the remaining two afternoons were for the walking dead crowd! Which simply consisted of one day being with just Edward (these may or may not have been dates) and the other being spent up at the Cullen house.

It was a little endearing to know that Edward was mildly saddened over only getting one day dedicated to him. I reminded him that, in reality, I got two days with him, as I went to his house in addition to whatever just the two of us came up with.

Then again, Alice seemed to relish in torturing her brother by thrusting her friendship upon me at any chance she got, both at school and at their home.

It was inwardly hilarious, honestly, but I welcomed it wholeheartedly.

The primary caveat to aaaaall of this social planning was that I try to be home before 7pm.

Not because of an earlier curfew or anything, but the first week of my social butterfly flitting saw me staying out later than that. And that meant missing out on a week’s worth of dinner with Charlie.

Saturday, the 19th of February, my dad admitted to missing me.

“You’ve been so busy with your friends,” he said over a late breakfast, “and I’m glad for that, Bels, I am, But, ya know. I guess...it left me feeling a little lonely after work, is all. I’ve missed you, Bels.”

I would’ve cried, a single tear, at his honesty, but that would’ve made him feel guilty. And well, in the name of honesty, I realized why I was feeling so socially drained!

I saw less and less of my dad, and eating dinner with him was how I unwound from the day.

So, whether he was home from work by seven or not, I made sure that I was. That way we could have two dinners a week together, minimum, before he had to turn in at nine.

We also made an effort to have a Saturday or Sunday a week be just for us, in some capacity.

He wanted to shoot for both days, but I had to be realistic, and factored in his desire to go see either Billy or Harry Clearwater. I didn’t want him to give up fishing days or whatever sports games he watched with his friends, as I knew they meant the world to him, too.

Charlie revealed that he’d felt bad for leaving me home alone on the weekends.

_Sweet old man, I swear._

Kindly reminding him that I had friends to enjoy my time with, I reassured him that I wouldn’t be lonely without him. That I enjoyed the idea to throw a wild party without him home, if I was so inclined. Or to just, ya know, enjoy some quiet time to myself.

That got him laughing, and his worries were shelved far back.

Honestly, life was pretty seamless during this time, it really was. It’s laughable to look back on life a few months prior to when I was a sourpuss for my choice to go back to Forks. I knew the root of this sourness, and it was all just anxiety.

But Forks was warm to my return as it was cold and wet for most of the year. And I was grateful I had such an easy adjustment to just about everything, even the snow!

Well, sort of. Snow was still the worst.

Alas, school was chugging along, and before I knew it, we were two weeks into March and days away from my birthday. I purposefully kept silent about it, as I wasn’t really one to celebrate my birthday.

What I failed to realize was that I now had a friend who saw the fucking future, and thus I had found a difficulty in keeping some things secret to said friend, her family, and anyone she opened her mouth to.

So on the eleventh at lunch, Alice decided to be an absolute _brat_ , and I now understood why she was, in Edward’s eyes, the annoying sibling.

I was sitting with Angela and the gang, as per my social scheduling, and thankfully my friends had mostly respected my surprise friendship with the Cullens-Hale kids. Edward and Alice had even taken to sitting with us on occasion, and by this point, my humans had gotten over any awkwardness. Mostly.

Today, though, was an all human table.

Eric was talking to me about Pokémon, my beloved video game franchise, when Alice seamlessly slid into an available chair across from me. She put on her vampuppy eyes, an expression I wasn't quite able to say no to, and said, “Bel, when were you going to tell us about your birthday…?”

At once, my insides froze up in an arctic blizzard of betrayal just as Jessica loudly cried, “Oh my god, today’s your _birthday_?!” Jess didn’t at all see my hand coming to quickly slap over her mouth, but it was too late.

The damage was done. Those damnable words were uttered, and there went Angela, Eric, and even Mike clamoring about my birthday. As expected, Lauren said nothing verbally but let her body language express her disinterest.

For once, I sided with Lauren in her who-cares-about-Bel attitude.

“ _No_ , it isn't,” I hissed to the table but held my glare for Alice alone. She didn't look repentant, not one bit.

_She wanted to do this all along._

I stood no chance against Alice. But she started a war, and all bets were off.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Oh! I suppose I should mention that I now have a beta reader! A good friend of mine who is the only one of my IRL friends that loves Twilight possibly as much as I do. All the same, she's editing at her own pace and I'm just glad she offered to edit the story at all. X'D
> 
> As of now, we don't really have a set process of editing stuff, as she works and has her own life going on for her, obvi. I'm basically just retroactively updating the story with whatever she finishes editing and whenever she does. This, like my updating of the story, has no set schedule.
> 
> Uh. yeah, guess that's it then!
> 
> Hope you liked this chapter! :D


	7. Teenage Emotion & Stupidity

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Bel isn't too fond of birthday surprises, and Alice has something in store that he isn't sure how to feel about. He also talks to Jake about...stuff.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Well hi! I suppose it's been a while since I've last posted, by my standards. I'm gonna be honest, the fervent inspiration and will to write has slowed down thanks to my mental health. I'm okay overall, I just tend to cycle through my interests like one would scroll through TV channels to try and find something to watch. XD
> 
> Oh! Also, I've some social medias to promote this story, though I don't really know how to properly use them to promote... Anyways, give them a follow if you like! :D
> 
> Tumblr: [Link text](https://phantomdiamond.tumblr.com/)
> 
> Twitter: [Link text](https://twitter.com/aPhantomDiamond?s=21)
> 
> Instagram: [Link text](https://instagram.com/aphantomdiamond?igshid=1cpn30u07m4n)

“Alice,” I grit through my teeth. “I don’t know how you found out about my birthday, but if you tell my friends the actual date, I will happily sever your limbs and set them aflame.”

Of course, laughs rang about the table at my absurd and clearly impossible threat. Still, I hoped Alice got the message.

“We both know I would win that fight, Bel,” she said brightly, though far more a threat than my attempt.

“True. My point: you’d better not be up to anything, so help me, Alice…!”

“Someone’s a little snippy,” Jess threw in, grinning at the absurdity before her.

“Not one for birthday spotlight, Bel?” Angela asked, voice tinged in sympathy.

I nodded and sighed. “Living with my mom during my earlier birthdays was always a party, when I just wanted them to be a small thing at home and to stay up later than usual. I had nothing _but_ birthday spotlight until I entered my teens, and it was enough to scar me for life.”

“Will you ever tell us the actual day?” Eric asked.

“Maybe if Alice tells me whatever it is that she’s scheming,” I said pointedly, and all eyes flew to the psychic.

“Bel, that isn’t fair,” she whined, and for a moment her acting almost made me want to comfort her.

Almost.

“No, what isn’t fair is using extra resources to investigate your friends.” To Angela, I stage whispered, “Alice is a government spy that aims to take me down, I know it.” She giggled, and Alice exhaled sharply.

“Well, it’s too late anyways, Bel,” she huffed. “I’ve already told my parents, and they said they’d be happy to do a little something for you tomorrow. That way you can spend your actual birthday with your father, at least.”

My jaw dropped.

_She told Carlisle and Esme?! That was low, even for her. Now I couldn’t refuse._

While Jess laughed at my reaction, I looked over to the vamp table and sought Edward’s eyes. He looked apologetic, glanced over at Alice pointedly, and rolled his eyes. That further validated my thoughts of not standing a chance against the shortest Cullen sibling.

A look around the rest of their table saw Emmett grinning at me, Jasper raising a water bottle in a toast, and Rosalie staring blankly out the window, as expected.

I hung my head in defeat.

“I’d say I’m sorry, Bel, but then I’d be lying,” Alice said cheerfully. “Edward will be your escort to our place so that you won’t be late. Try and be ready by noon, okay? And dress comfy, the weather is supposed to be nice and sunny.” She stood when I nodded, smiled at me brightly, and practically danced away to sit with her adoptive siblings.

I let my head bang on the table. “Ow.” I felt a hand rub my back in sympathy, and sat upright with a heavy sigh, rubbing my forehead. “Thanks, Angela.”

“So, how old are you going to be?”

“Seventeen. I’ll be a young and sweet dancing queen.”

“I love that song!” Angela happily exclaimed, and I grinned at her.

“Really, Bel, when’s your birthday?” Jess asked with a pout.

“Et tu, Jessica?”

“Is it a crime to want to get something for your friend on his birthday?”

“Yes,” I said, as if she was silly for even asking that.

“Bel!”

“Ugh, fine! It’s the fifteenth,” I grumbled, and crossed my arms childishly.

“That wasn't so hard, see!” Jess beamed. “What’re your favorite colors again?”

For the rest of lunch, I pretended to be an upset child strictly for the sake of comedy, and my petulant attitude got enough laughs that I started laughing, too. It was a nice pick me up from the reluctant thought about my imminent, yearly aging anniversary.

After the bell rang, Angela walked me to biology, and hooked her arm with mine to pull me close and whispered, “So, is Edward going to do anything _special_ for your birthday?”

I narrowed my eyes at her. “Why did you add extra intonation on the word ‘special’?”

Angela just gave me a blank look. “After all those dates he took you on in the last month? Come on, Bel, I wasn’t born yesterday. Unless, they _weren’t_ dates, even though you described them as much…?”

That earned her a gentle elbow to the ribs.

“I’m sure I don’t know _what_ you’re talking about.” I glanced around, paranoid that anyone else overheard that. Of course, it didn't matter, as Edward―the one person I _didn’t_ want to overhear―most likely heard anyways, wherever he was.

“Sure, Bel,” she said sarcastically. I just gawked at her.

“Ya know, I think I’m starting to have a negative influence on you,” I told her as we approached our class. “You’re getting sassier by the minute.”

“You learn a thing or two when Jess is your friend,” she replied with a smile. “And from you, too.” We walked through the door and went to our respective seats. I tried to ignore Edward.

That didn’t go too well.

“You didn’t answer her last question,” Edward said in my ear, having leaned over once I was settled at the table.

_Of course he’d tease about it._

“Don’t sound so smug, Mr. Cullen,” I breathed in my most quietest whisper, knowing he’d hear. “Not until you can tell me when _she_ saw a vision of my birthday.”

He grinned widely, cleared his throat, and I reluctantly gave him my attention.

“Early this morning, a little before two. She randomly saw Charlie making some preparation for the day that I won’t spoil for you, no matter how much you beg or threaten me.”

“You smug bastard,” I hissed, and he puckered his lips to hold in a laugh. Mr. Banner started the class then, and I was grateful for the distraction.

I _couldn’t_ forget Angela’s last question. It was a valid one, after all. And I couldn’t regret telling her about all the times Edward had done rather date-like things for me.

Because no matter which way I sliced it, Edward had, from my perspective, acted like one who had more than platonic feelings for someone else.

Which isn’t to say that friends couldn’t open doors for friends, or politely hold out a chair for them at a tabled meal, or pick them up in the morning for daily rides to school and take them home after, or walked them to their next class, or sometimes took them to nice restaurants for intimate dinner dates on the weekends…

I didn’t ever really discourage these things, either.

If I was being honest, I very much liked this sort of treatment from a boy. Even if it was coming from the context of a bygone century in which courting someone one admired was a thing.

There wasn’t much of a romantic history for me to speak of back in Phoenix, at least not in any serious capacity. I may have fooled around with a guy or two, and maybe might have dated one girl for a grand total of one time, but nothing at all like this was in that archive.

Was it so bad of me to like the attention? And to maybe even want it from Edward?

The hour dragged on, I was preoccupied by these thoughts, and I knew that Edward was patiently waiting for an answer.

_Are we dating?_

He didn’t ask me so bluntly, of course. But the sentiment was there when he initially phrased it over dinner one evening in Port Angeles.

— • —

Edward took me to the little Italian place I went to with the girls, and that one time he took me, he asked the hostess for a private booth.

Keep in mind, this was about the third time he had taken me to eat somewhere in Port Angeles, but I knew that it was significant somehow, even before we got to talking.

It was vastly a different experience from eating with Angela or Jessica, that’s for sure. I remember just reeling from him asking for that booth alone. More than that, I was the only one eating.

He only kept asking for more water, and I found that fact hilarious.

Now, obviously, I was extremely aware of how attractive Edward was, even before I found out that the engineering of vampires generally equates immense beauty; not always, Edward clarified, but still.

Our waitress was flirting at Edward like nobody’s business, and she was a very beautiful, appealing young woman. Definitely at least college age, if I had to guess. Maybe nineteen or twenty?

And the poor girl was all gooey eyed and honey voiced, too, really playing it up in the most alluring of ways. For another guy, maybe.

_This_ guy seated across from me, however, spoke and looked at her as much as the customer's courtesy called for. If I wasn't already used to Edward’s attentive gaze, I would've been far more shy at being the sole object of his attention.

Too bad that Eileen, our waitress, didn't get the memo.

I had to specifically, yet casually, mention the fact that we were in high school when she came back with my food, just to ward her advances off.

She stopped flirting, but she definitely eyed him as she tended to other tables.

Edward asked me about the very weird, out of context mention of “high school,” and it took me a moment to recognize the sincere question; we _were_ talking about how vampires had to adapt to modern technology, after all.

“Edward, she’s been flirting with you since we walked in,” I quietly pointed out, eyebrows pinched together in slight concern. Not for me, but for him possibly having missed the bigger issue here.

“Oh. Has she, really?” He was genuinely surprised, and I almost laughed.

“She was. Big time. And besides, it’s a little weird that she’d be flirting with half of a two-person table while she’s literally on her shift and taking our order. I understand if she was just faux flirting to score a tip, but she was laying it on kinda thick, there. And, also, you’re technically seventeen. That’s a little odd, too, since she doesn’t know that.”

Yes, I was very aware that, retrospectively, I was sounding just a little...territorial, I guess?

But c’mon, how rude of her! Openly flirting with him and reluctantly talking to me just to take my order? Not to mention how unprofessional of her.

“Mr. Swan, do I detect a hint of jealousy?” Edward teased, humor coloring his voice.

That shut me up real fast, and I was fairly certain my face got flushed.

“Seems like a yes,” he concluded at my stunned silence.

Really, nothing I could say at that moment could adequately defend myself without being self-incriminating. I speared a large slice of grilled chicken, nabbed some rigatoni, and dipped it in the marinara for extra saucy goodness. _So good._

“Would you humor me by answering a question?” Edward asked kindly after the lull on my end.

“Sure." I took a drink of my soda.

“Considering that we’ve been spending as much time together as your social batteries permit, and seeing as we’ve gotten quite close as friends―perhaps even closer than friends―I was wondering on how to best define our relationship.”

“Th-That’s not a question,” I stammered, having focused solely on my plate. I futilely hoped that he wouldn’t proceed with this line of thought.

“You’re right,” Edward admitted. “Will you still answer my implied question?”

I nodded my head once in affirmation, and merely raised a finger to indicate that I was thinking. Edward nodded in turn, and allowed me my thoughts.

That moment would’ve been perfect for me to have swallowed some chicken down the wrong pipe. Just start choking on it, be physically unable to answer that question.

Yet there my throat was, empty of any external blockage. Though it did suddenly feel bone dry. I took a healthy swig of soda, at least. And Edward wordlessly noted my silence.

Because, whether I admitted it to myself, I really wasn’t sure how to define it, either. Whatever our relationship was.

Not that romance exactly needs physical expressions of affection to define romantic vs. platonic, in my opinion. But none of my other friends treated me as he did. Nor did I hold them in quite the same regard as I did Edward.

And it wasn’t like we were kissing or holding hands. Hugging was a given, but I was just a hugger in general, presuming I was given permission to hug someone.

So, I had to just be honest with him. Which was made worse by the fact that I _knew_ he could hear the rapid increase of my heartbeat.

“I was sorta wondering about that myself, really,” I told him, then lowered my voice. “I’m well aware that I'm the first human you've taken so much interest in, but I don't...really know what that interest is, exactly.”

Okay, okay, I was totally hedging. But in all fairness, neither of us had ever really crossed that bridge until that night. And it had me veeeery anxious, this rather drawn out dance of ours.

“But I also know that I haven't been very upfront with you, either,” I continued. “And I'm just...still really unsure...of what to make of you and I.”

Edward didn't say anything to that, and I remembered setting my hands on my lap and fidgeting with the cloth napkin laid out atop my jeans.

It seemed an endless saga of silence when in reality about thirty long seconds ticked by.

“That’s a valid answer, all things considered,” he eventually said, and took a drink of water. “Well. May I possibly provide you with some of the clarity that you’re looking for?”

I forgot how to swallow, and settled for nodding instead of a verbal response.

He leaned forward, his gaze holding mine, and calmly said, “I like you, Beltrán, in the romantic way.” Edward smiled crookedly, eyes just sparkling. “I’ve wanted to tell you that for some time, but I was advised to not spring it on you out of the blue. Especially as I hadn’t directly told you as much with my words before.

“Most importantly, whether or not my feelings are reciprocated, I’d very much like to have you as my friend, Bel.” He paused then, looking shy; you’d think he’d be shy about so plainly expressing his feelings, but no. “And I understand if remaining friends isn’t possible, either. It’d be unfortunate, but I don’t intend on making you feel uncomfortable.”

My tongue ran ahead of my mind, then.

“I-I want to be your friend! I mean, I’m glad to be your friend,” I whispered too quickly, and forced myself to take a breather before I embarrassed myself too much. “N-No matter what, Edward, I’ve really enjoyed spending so much time with you. It’s been really cool getting to know you, and your family too! And...I’d like to get to know you more, if that’s okay.”

Looking back on that evening, I’ll never know how red I must have been. In part due to the specific phrasing of Edward’s confession, but also for the fact that he was the first person to plainly confess their feelings to me at all.

“You mean, more than knowing the one thing that no other human knows?” I was grateful for his teasing at that moment, as it helped relieve my anxiety.

“And I’d like to get to know you more, as well,” Edward said more earnestly, with a softer smile that had moths tickling the inside of my ribcage.

— • —

Whether it was planned or not, Angela’s words had me thinking more and more about the last month. So much so that, after school, Jake picked up on my mood when I went over.

“Earth to Bels?”

We were in the garage, and I was sitting in his Rabbit with the door open, apparently just staring out into space. Jake nudged a can of soda against my cheek, which brought me back to earth.

“Oh. Sorry for zoning out there, Jake. Thanks.” I took the can, cracked it open, and held it up to gently klink my can to his. I took a swig.

“Had me worried for a sec there, Bels,” he said, eyeing me. “Everything okay up top?” He nudged his temple with a finger, then pointed to my head. I took a moment to think before I replied.

_Was I okay?_

In the grand scheme of things, yes, I was.

School was okay as could be, I had more friends than anticipated, Charlie and I were getting on great so far, and I was nice and settled. Even Renée was glad for me, despite missing me immensely. My anxiety was more or less under control, now that I’d established myself in Forks.

But in the “I’m just a teenager experiencing lots of new things for the first time” sort of way, I guess I was a bit of a mess. Or more than a bit. Maybe.

Yes, this was a reference to the fact that I previously thought Edward to be an insensitive shithead, albeit an attractive one. And as it turns out, he wasn’t that kind of guy at all! He was just, ya know, a vampire who had killed people in the past.

_Wow, that sounds bad even just thinking about it…_

Yeah, he killed people. But it wasn’t a random act of insane hunger for blood, and it _certainly_ wasn’t something he did while human.

Over the month of getting to know each other, I acted on my curiosity, and at some point asked him about his relationship with human blood! I mean, who wouldn’t ask a vampire this kind of stuff?

“I’m not excusing the fact that I’m a murderer, Bel,” he explained darkly, sitting at my desk while I was wrapped in my blankets atop my bed. “But...I was selective.”

“Selective how?” I whispered too quietly for human ears. It was well passed Edward’s official welcome. Charlie had fallen asleep, and I had snuck Edward in through my window. Well, he jumped in from the ground, but that’s besides the point.

“I would read the minds of people, key in on the loathsome individuals that harbored atrocious thoughts. Stalkers, drug dealers to children, rapists, murderers...the most vile of humans. I figured that if I saved a young woman from being attacked at night, then surely I wasn’t so bad.

“I strayed from my family’s vegetarianism for a time,” he admitted, fondly using the joke the Cullens had established for vamps that dined on animal blood. “Carlisle and Esme were upset, but in the end, those five years became too much for me. Killing humans genuinely disgusted me, even despite my justifications. I went back home after that time.”

This was the primary focus of my thoughts when Jake asked me if I was okay. And it’s not like I could tell him the truth of the matter.

So, I had to improvise, and lying was out the window. I didn’t prefer this particular strain of truth, but my hands were tied.

I was quiet for a solid minute after Jake’s question. Took a minute longer to process and think of how much of _my_ truth, not Edward’s, I was willing to entrust to Jake.

And then I sighed.

“C’mon, Bels, the suspense is killing me,” he said, munching on an apple.

“Don’t rush me,” I said with no malice, but went on ahead. “Okay, so, there’s this guy. And–”

“Bels,” he interrupted by quickly coming over to me and slapped a hand over my mouth. “Bels. Please tell me this isn’t the part where you ask me out. I’m flattered, but I don’t know if you’re my type.”

My eyes narrowed, and I totally would’ve licked his hand, but I knew it would’ve been like licking the tire of a car. I swatted his arm away and quickly jabbed him with two fingers, right under his ribs. He groaned and sat back down on his makeshift chair of a crate.

“No, you _ninny_ , I wasn’t talking about _you_ ,” I said, rolling my eyes; how I thought Jake wouldn’t give me shit was beyond me. “I just...I’m conflicted about this guy at school.”

Massaging his ribs, Jake said, “What’s the issue? Do I need to kick his ass? I will, Bels, I swear.”

“No, don’t do that,” I said absently, knowing very well who’d be the victor of that fight, if one could call it that. “Thanks for the offer, though. No, I just. He’s a good guy, has a nice family, and has been nothing but respectful towards me. He just...is intense, in some ways?”

At once, Jake’s face became concerned. “This isn’t easing up my desire to kick his ass.”

“Stop with that, no needless fighting. No, he just...well, directly said that he _liked_ me, romantically. And it caught me off guard, like, he said it so simply, as if it _was_ so simple. Ya know?”

“Yeah! No, actually, I literally don’t, you’re hesitating. Spit it out.”

I groaned, and leaned against the doorframe. “He’s just...kind of old school about romance, I guess. Nice dinners, opening doors. Ya know, chivalrous stuff. It’s pretty sweet of him, honestly, but I’m just...not used to that sort of behavior from anyone, let alone from a guy.”

“So...you’re saying it’s weird, but in a good way?”

“No! Well...yeah, actually, I guess I am.”

“Riiiiiiight.” Jake eyed me skeptically. “So...unless I’m missing something, which I’m pretty sure I am, I’m not seeing a problem here?”

“Ugh, Jake, don’t make me completely open up my heart here…”

“Well, I don’t know what you want me to do, Bels. _You_ brought this up, not me.” He finished his apple and tossed the core in a plastic bag he brought.

“Don’t remind me,” I muttered. “Okay. Okay. He’s literally the first person to ever tell me that he’s _into me_ into me. And he’s definitely expressed it in so many ways without words, and oh my _god,_ I’m a fucking idiot!!”

“Better late than never to realize that,” he said offhandedly. “I could’ve told you that myself.”

I ignored him, as I was getting caught in an epiphany.

Edward _had_ been telling me that he genuinely _liked_ _me_ without words, all along!

He _had_ taken me on so many dates (whether I saw them as such or not), he was sincerely interested in getting to know me as a person (all the questions he asked, basic to complex), and, hello, he shared with me his _biggest_ secret ever!

In relation to said secret, he introduced me to his _vampire parents_ , for crying out loud!!

_Oh god, does this mean what I think it means?!_

“Crap,” I whispered, bringing a hand to my mouth.

“You okay over there?” Jake asked, leaning into my line of sight.

“I...I think I might have been actually dating this guy for nearly a month and didn’t know it until just this moment?”

Jake leveled me with an extremely blank look. “You have _got_ to be shitting me.”

— • —

“...and I cannot be _l_ _ieve_ you have been _this_ blind, Bels! I know you need glasses, man, but come on!!” Jake cried, having finally concluded his rant about my sheer idiocy.

Objectively speaking, Jake was totally valid in lecturing me as he did. He actually raised several points, one of which was that I had been unintentionally leading Edward on.

And I wanted to object that notion, but...Jake was right.

Even though I had eventually told Edward my unsure feelings about whatever our relationship was, I hadn’t taken the initiative and done so sooner. While I had liked the attention he was giving me, I just didn’t bother to clarify what it all meant.

Yes, I didn’t do so due to the major anxiety it gave me, but that wasn’t a legit reason. It was just an excuse. One that had possible negative consequences on Edward, whether he voiced them to me or not. It was still on me, for my own clarity, to define to him my half of things.

My mind was a maelstrom.

“So, when are you going to talk to him about it?”

There was an important question, one of which I already knew the answer to. The thought made me sigh heavily, but it had to be done.

“I’m gonna see him tomorrow,” I said.

“You don’t sound too excited. Do I need to kick _your_ ass about this?”

“Stop with the ass kicking! And it’s not that I’m not excited, I’m anxious!! This would be the first time I’d be possibly handing my heart over to someone who offered theirs first!!”

“Okay, you’re starting to sound like a broken record,” Jake laughed. “Maybe it’s time to flip you over on the record player, hm?”

I buried my face in my hands.

“Why is this so complicated,” I whined.

“Because you’re an idiot, man, I thought we already established this.”

“Don’t remind me…”

I felt him pat my head in sympathy.

“C’mon. Let’s get some food in you.”

“I don’t want anything.”

“Really? You’re not hungry at all?” He sounded skeptical.

“The last thing I need right now is to puke up food, Jake.”

“Okay, now you’re just being dramatic. I guess you wouldn’t want chili dogs?”

My head snapped up, and I looked up at Jake with hopeful eyes.

“Thought so. C’mon, drama queen, let’s go.”

What was supposed to be a small break from working on his car turned out to be a romance therapy session, and I apologized to Jake as we left the garage. Jake swung an arm around my neck and pulled me close, almost tripping me in the process.

“Nah, no sorry from you, man,” he said. “It’s what friends are for. Playing games instead of doing homework, shooting the shit in a garage, and talking about heartaches. The usual.”

“We probably _should_ do some homework, though,” I said as he released me to open the front door and walked in behind me.

“Yeah, probably!”

_We aren’t doing any homework, I already know it._

Jake went about cooking up the dogs on a griddle, microwaved chili from a medium-sized can, and I sat at the kitchen table wallowing in my stupidity while poking the package of buns.

“Maybe you _should_ kick my ass, Jake,” I said. “Beat me so senseless so that I’d be unable to talk to him.”

“That’s assault,” Jake pointed out. “Also, your dad would kill me after my dad killed me. It’s bad enough to get killed once by one dad, I don’t wanna get killed twice by two.”

“Wimp.”

“Get over yourself, you crybaby. I think I’d rather hear you be all mushy because of romance, not be this pathetic.”

I let my forehead hit the table. “I _am_ pathetic.”

“Clearly,” he said as he came over to lightly smack my head and get the buns. “How many do you want?”

“Three, please, but two will be fine if that’s too much for me to claim.” The table muffled my voice, but at that point, the drama of it all had taken over me, and I just rolled with it.

He scoffed. “As if. We have plenty of weenies stocked up in the freezer. I practically grew up on these. Be useful and get us some soda, will ya?”

I groaned loudly in feigned agony, but got up to do as asked, and he just clicked his tongue at me. After setting our root beer cans on the table, Jake came over and set our plates down, three nearly overflowing chili dogs each.

Leaning over my plate to inhale the aroma, I sighed in gratitude. “Thanks, Jake.”

“Sure, sure. Now will you please ease up on the drama club?”

I stuck my tongue out at him in response, and he did the same before digging in.

We quickly polished off our meal, got a slice of regular bread each to finish off the chili remnants from our plates, and went to the living room after washing them. We claimed our usual spots on the couch, and I stayed quiet as Jake put on the TV and flipped through channels.

“Jake, am I wrong to feel so conflicted about all of this?” I asked in a quiet voice. Having kicked off my shoes, I pulled my knees to my chest and hugged my legs. I stared blankly at the screen, not taking in whatever was on.

He looked at me and set the controller down, frowning. “Wrong? Dude, not at all. Especially if this is your first toe dip in the fountain of love.”

When I didn’t respond, he added, “It’s actually kind of sweet to see, in a way.” My eyes found his, wordlessly asking a question.

“I mean, yeah! It is. I’m not asking you to tell me the whole story, but since you’re so affected by it all, it tells me that you really care about the lucky guy. I don’t think you’d be fussing so much if you weren’t considering him seriously, would you?”

“Mmm...I guess not,” I conceded after some deliberation.

“So, you like him back, then? Maybe not as much or as intensely as he likes you, but…?”

There was no denying that nor the fact that I was blushing faintly. I just nodded.

Jake grinned at me, not teasingly, but just a genuine, sunshiney grin. “That’s not a bad thing, then, kid. Roll with it, maybe, see how things go! If things go good for you guys, well great! And if things don’t go so great, well, hopefully you’d both be down to be friends.”

“Yeah,” I said softly. “I’d still like to be his friend. And he said as much for being mine, too.”

“See? Things are kinda looking up already for you two, then!” Jake laughed, and gently nudged my legs with a socked foot. That got me to smile, and I did feel a bit lighter.

“There’s a smile I was looking for,” he exclaimed happily, and turned his attention back to the TV.

“Thanks, Jake.”

“Sure, sure.”

— • —

Saturday morning had arrived, and I already felt extremely anxious. Which had nothing to do with my talk with Jake yesterday, thankfully.

No, today was all because Alice couldn’t keep her mouth shut. Not that I really held it against her, but surprises where I knew nothing just really fed my anxiety.

I didn’t quite know what “dress comfy” meant, but seeing as the mention of weather came from Alice, I figured her word was more reliable than a meteorologist. That in mind, I checked my bedside clock to see that I had at least two hours until Edward was to pick me up.

Already, my brain went to work.

I dedicated an hour to selecting my clothes, which was a ridiculous affair that normally wouldn’t have taken me so long. I figured we’d be outside at some point, and my instinct was to stick to relatively thin layers, but I also kept in mind the chance of spending time with the rest of the Cullens.

Edward had already established that I didn’t need to dress up just to see his family, and while I was more than grateful to stick to my t-shirts and jeans, some part of me still wanted to impress.

Or at least not be such an obvious stand-out in their pristine home. I was inwardly grateful that their rather expensive fashion taste didn't affect me much.

I preferred comfort to fashion, anyways.

In the end, I chose (shockingly) a black graphic t-shirt (this one had a cat in a taco), my thinnest plaid shirt to go over it (in my favorite color, red), and my comfiest jeans.

My clothes of choice remained on my bed while I went downstairs to nab a light breakfast of scrambled eggs and some toast. I felt too nervous to eat much else.

Charlie was still snoring upstairs, which I was glad for, as the man had more than earned sleeping in as much as possible. I cleaned my dishes and put them to dry, flew upstairs to nab my clothes, and ducked into the bathroom.

While I wasn’t one for morning showers during the week, I made exceptions for the weekend.

After my morning routine was completed, I remained rooted in front of the mirror for a bit. I liked to think I wasn’t much of a vain person, but the nervous expression in my reflection caught me by surprise.

“God, do I always look this frazzled?” I asked myself, tilting my face this way and that way, poking and squishing my cheeks.

Reflected Bel had no answer, just stared back at me with my brownie eyes.

I giggled at the thought, and fondly remembered how my mom commented how, whenever she’d make brownies, my eyes would be as melty as the chocolate chips she threw in them.

Plus, it was a cute way to refer to brown eyes, in our opinion, and the comparison made me appreciate my eye color even more.

My hair remained unwashed, as I generally washed it twice a week, and fanned down both sides of my face in waves. It was a little frizzy, more than usual, but that always happened when I brushed it when it was dry.

“Your hair is so pretty, but god, there’s just too much of it,” I told my reflection as I played with it. I always had long hair, ever since I was little, and I loved it. I tried to cut it as little as possible, save for the occasional trim to be rid of split ends, but that was about it.

“At least black hair in a Washington summer won’t be so awful,” I muttered aloud, going on to pull my hair back into a high ponytail, and returned to my room. Before I got too comfy, I scrawled on a sticky note to let Charlie know where I was going to be, and stuck it on the outside of my door.

The clock read 11:23, and I sighed.

Time was moving too slow for my liking, so I reached in the top drawer of my bedside dresser for my DS, flopped over on my bed, and resumed playing _The Minish Cap_ until the doorbell rang at exactly noon.

I scrambled to save my game and turn off the device, quickly gathered my necessary things in my messenger bag, and calmly but quickly bounded downstairs to answer the door.

“Good afternoon, Bel,” Edward said, smiling widely and sounding quite cheery. His eyes, I noted, were a dazzling gold today. I was reassured to see that he’d eaten recently.

“Well, hi,” I said in return, rather breathlessly, smiling in return.

“I take it that you’re ready to go?” I nodded, and then asked, “Do you have your inhaler? We will be outdoors for a portion of today. I also hope your shoes are comfy enough for some light trekking.”

_Shit._

“Uh, inhaler,” I said as I rummaged through my bag, and once it was located, brought it out and put it in my jeans pocket. “Check. As for my shoes...let me change them. One moment.”

“I’ll just wait out here,” Edward said with a nod, and took a step back to let the screen door snap shut. I bolted upstairs, and swapped my Converse for my Vans; they were my comfiest shoes and had the most support, after all.

_I might need to get some hiking shoes at some point, all things considered._

After we hopped in Edward’s car and were on the road, I couldn’t exactly contain my curiosity. “Edward, what’s going on today? What’s on the agenda?”

He smirked at me, eyes fully off the road, and said, “It’s to be a surprise, Bel. This is for your birthday, after all.”

I groaned quietly. “Edward! I’m not too keen for surprises, parties especially…” From the corner of my eyes, I saw him bite his lip possibly in contemplation.

“What I’m allowed to say...is that this won’t be a party,” Edward said slowly. “Not in the sense that you’re thinking of, at least.”

“That first part makes it seem like you’ve been threatened,” I remarked, an eyebrow arched.

“I was,” he said with a grimace. “Alice isn’t one to shy away from blackmailing me to get her way, sometimes.”

“I think I’m rather grateful that I’m an only child, then,” I murmured, which earned a chuckle from Edward.

We were talking casually about anything that came to mind during the remainder of the drive, and all too soon we had made the turn into the lengthy Cullen driveway.

“And you’re just positive you can’t tell me anything else?” I tried one last time, making my tone pleading without being annoying.

Edward just laughed. “Forgive me, Bel, but I value my secrets more than going against Alice. I try to win as many battles with her as I can, as she just might win the war.”

I sighed. “Well, I can’t say that I didn’t try.”

“That’s what counts most, when it comes to Alice and her advantages. This might be a stupid question but...are you ready?”

“I think when it comes to associating with you all, I won’t really ever be ready for anything.”

He snorted, grinning. “I suppose that’s valid.”

Once inside, Edward had quickly moved behind me to place a hand over my eyes.

“What the‒ Edward, what’re you doing?”

He sighed quite audibly, and said, “Following Alice’s instructions. I’m going to guide you to the dining room, okay?”

“Uh, sure?” His free hand came up to my shoulder, and he gently steered me down the hall. It was only a little discomforting to be robbed of my sight, but thankfully he had guided me to a stop.

“You’re in front of the table, now. I’m going to remove my hand, and I kindly ask that you close your eyes before I remove it, and keep them closed. Is that okay with you?”

“Yes, it is, and my eyes are closed.”

“Thank you,” he said, and his cool touch was gone. Less than a minute passed, and then Edward told me to open my eyes.

Taking a deep breath, I opened my eyes, and I was certainly not expecting to see the most loveliest cake sitting atop the table.

It was covered in perfectly smoothened chocolate frosting, topped with strawberries glazed in strawberry syrup by the looks of it, and had chocolate sprinkles coating the entire surface area. It was a fairly medium-sized cake, not too big and not too small, and entirely delectable. I don’t know how I didn’t smell it at first, as it was very fragrant.

This beautiful cake wasn’t alone, though!

In front of the cake was an assortment of fruits neatly served in and on small, wooden plates and bowls. Bowls of grapes green and red varieties, raspberries, blackberries, and strawberries to the left. And to the right, plates of sliced apple, mango, banana, and peach.

Finally, behind the cake itself was a lone picnic basket that was closed, though no doubt full of goodies.

I took a good minute to take in this sight, and was momentarily speechless. I looked up at the opposite end of the table to see Carlisle, Esme, and Alice smiling at me.

Clearly, this was meant for me, but it was still so...so touching to know that they went out of their way to prepare all this.

“We were told that you weren’t fond of surprises,” Esme said bashfully. “But we wanted to somehow honor your birthday. We figured this was a lovely compromise.”

“You got me a cake and assorted breakfast of fruit?” I asked incredulously.

“I admit, this was our first time using the kitchen for its intended purpose,” Carlisle said with a chuckle. “We figured a cake and some fruit would have been the most safest of foods to serve you.”

“Oh! We are aware of your issue with lactose, Bel, and so we made the cake to be lactose free,” Esme said, sounding much like a content mother from daytime television, only far more genuine.

_Oh no, I feel a tear falling. Oh well._

“It’s not too much, is it?” Alice asked hesitantly, clearly nervous at seeing me cry.

I giggled and shook my head, a few more tears falling. “Not at all, this is just so nice of you! These are happy tears, I promise. Just...wow, this was unexpected. Still, thank you all so much, it means a lot to me!”

What I didn’t say aloud was how I was reminded of Renée. While my mom sometimes got too ahead of herself when it came to my birthdays, she was always so genuinely happy to present whatever it is she had in store for me.

I felt homesick in the best of ways, and it was almost like having my mom here with me. I had no doubts that she’d send a lengthy birthday email on the day, as well as having an hour-long phone call with me, an hour minimum.

Esme was positively beaming. “I’m so glad that you like our little offering. Happy Birthday, dear!”

“We hope that you’ll find the cake enjoyable,” Carlisle said, smiling brightly. “A little bird told us that you’re quite fond of red velvet with as much chocolate as could be. Happy Birthday, Bel.”

I laughed and nodded in agreement, glancing at Edward knowingly. He had a perfect poker face, and gave nothing away.

“If you like the cake, we’d be more than happy to cook more for you, if you’d be willing to be our taste tester,” Alice said with a wink. “Happy Birthday, Bel!!”

“Thank you all,” I said happily, looking at each of them. “I’m nearly speechless!”

“It was our pleasure,” Esme said.

“I’m sorry to say, Bel, but we hope you’ll excuse the absence of the others,” Carlisle said, smiling kindly. “They’re out hunting, and the three of us wanted to go hunt, too.”

“They send their birthday wishes to you, as well,” Esme added kindly.

“I’ll be sure to thank them whenever I see them next,” I said sincerely. “Thank you once again for all of this. I hope you enjoy your hunt...if that’s an appropriate sentiment to extend.”

Alice laughed, and said, “Thanks, Bel. Well, enjoy!”

With that, the three quickly left Edward and I alone. And at once, I rounded on Edward, glaring playfully. “You _really_ couldn’t tell me about this?” I demanded with a laugh.

“And deny them the chance to see how much you liked their surprise?” Edward asked, eyebrows raised in surprise, then winked. “I don’t think so. Now why don’t you dig in? And don’t worry about whatever you can’t finish. You can take the leftovers home, as they’d just sit in our refrigerator until you next came over.”

“Oh, okay. Then, what’s up with the picnic basket?”

Edward just smiled enigmatically. “A light brunch and cake first, answers to questions later.”

I huffed at being kept in the dark, but went over to sit in a chair closer to the food, and Edward sat across from me to serve me a healthy piece of cake.

“I can’t believe you had your family make me a cake! And got a number of my favorite fruits!” I exclaimed happily after taking the offered plate and fork, and took a big bite without further ado. I sagged into my chair almost at once, and sighed, “It’s so good…”

That just made Edward laugh, and I eagerly piled on as much fruit as I figured I could guzzle down.


	8. Ghosts and Joys

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Edward takes Bel on a hike through the woods. Once at their final destination, they get to talking about some heavy things, and Bel opens up about some serious trauma in his life.
> 
> Despite this, his birthday date ends on a positive note.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> MINOR CW DISCLAIMER: This chapter briefly mentions the homophobia of another character. It isn't detailed nor is it scathing in my opinion, but it's there, and so I won't cite an in-text CW.
> 
> MAJOR CW DISCLAIMER: This chapter talks about funerals, the death of family members, the way in which these people died, and other nuances that come along with a child being exposed to death at a young age.
> 
> To avoid this, this major conversational piece starts with: "May I know how you view your relationship with death?"
> 
> This major conversation ends with: "I snorted at that, and that heavy atmosphere lifted off of us both."

The record should be set straight. If I were to have had my way, I would’ve killed half of that cake in one sitting. That’s just the kind of boy I was. A glutinous one.

Food was great.

But! As I was with the guy I may or may not have been dating for the last month, was definitely attracted to and interested in, and said guy had previously expressed interest in me...I postponed this episode of glut.

Mostly because I didn’t want to be wandering the woods on a full stomach. There was also the fact that I wanted Charlie to have some of the cake, as it was just _so_ damn good! Even though I wanted it all to myself…

It was a worthy sacrifice. Heh.

Once I had refilled my water bottle and tucked it in my bag, I turned to Edward and asked, “Now, when you said trekking...what does that entail, exactly?”

“About five miles of hiking,” he said, as though commenting on the weather.

I straight up just laughed at that notion. “Aww, you’re a funny one! Five miles. Oh, man, that’s a good one.”

Edward frowned, clearly confused. “I wasn’t making a joke?”

“Oh, I know.”

“Then why are you laughing?”

“Because I’m not hiking five miles, anywhere.” I snorted in an effort to keep from laughing again, mostly because Edward’s face froze in shock.

“What?” He asked in a surprise voice.

“Yeah, I’m not doing that,” I said, smiling. “My asthma aside, I am not the most athletic of students. I make the bare minimum in gym class, Edward, which is a task all on its own. I especially hate running days, ugh, don’t get me started.” I rolled my eyes. “Running a mile for a grade is one thing, a mandatory one. _Hiking_ five times that distance is an elective I will not sign up for.”

This really seemed to throw Edward for a loop. If vampires could sweat, I’d imagine that he’d be sweating buckets at having a wrench thrown into his plans.

Still, his stunned silence subdued my amusement.

“I’d like to also add that this kind of thing is generally why I don’t like surprises when it comes to plans, Edward,” I said quietly, hearing my heart beat loudly in my ears as my anxiety kicked in. My hands clutched the strap of my back, fingers tapping on the material endlessly.

“If I have plans with someone, I like knowing what we’re going to do ahead of time so that, if our plans are somehow taxing for my social batteries, I can mentally prepare for it. And perhaps I should have directly said so sooner, that’s my fault and I’m sorry, but I really wasn’t joking about surprises all those times before.”

_I hate this, I hate this, oh my god, please don’t be upset, I’m just trying to be honest, why can’t you read my mind it would be so useful right now fuck, I’m sorry, I’m sorry!!_

Edward wasn’t saying anything. He was just staring at me, why was he staring and not saying anything? I couldn’t watch his face for too long, and so I took in as much of the immaculate kitchen as I could in the meanwhile.

“Bel,” Edward said softly, and I flinched at the sound.

_I’m not sure that I’m able to look at him just yet._

“Bel,” he repeated in the same tone, “it’s quite alright.”

_He doesn’t sound upset…?_

“I apologize for keeping you in the dark as I did, for not taking your word at face value.”

_He apologized?_

“You did tell Alice and I plenty of times that you didn’t like surprises, and I, at least, didn’t listen. I’m sorry, Bel.”

_Whoa. Plot twist._

My heartbeat slowed a bit. I took a deep breath in. Held it for a second. And slowly let it out.

“I upset you,” Edward said quietly, suddenly within arms’ reach instead of across the kitchen by the fridge. My heart took an extra beat, but calmed again. _Damned vampire speed._

I had to clear my throat and shake my head.

“Not exactly upset me, not exactly your fault,” I managed to squeak. “I’m not great with confrontation. Or being verbally direct about my thoughts or feelings. I’m, um, trying to work on that,” I concluded quietly.

I still hadn’t met his eyes yet.

“I see,” he said, equally quiet. “This is good to know, actually. Thank you for sharing as much with me, Bel. I appreciate your candid honesty.”

Another deep breath, another slow exhale. And I couldn’t help but to say, “I’m sorry for upsetting you.”

He gave me a gentle, patient smile, and shook his head. “You didn’t upset me, Bel, I assure you. I was surprised by your answer, and for being told no, I suppose. With my ability, I’m not used to being surprised.” He laughed sheepishly, and I took a moment to process what he had said.

_It’s okay, Bel. You’re okay, you didn’t upset him. Your world is still intact._

“So...without spoiling the surprise, is there an alternate way to get me where you want to go?” I asked tentatively, finally looking up at him. He seemed to be glad for that alone, and his smile grew a fraction.

“Yes, there is, but I’m not sure if you’ll like it.” Whatever it was, his idea had him very amused. _Should I be worried now?_

“Is teleportation really that bad?” I asked lightheartedly, and he snorted.

“Is that a current vampire myth?”

“Saw it in a movie or show somewhere along the line.” I cracked a grin, feeling more comfortable in the aftermath of confrontation-induced anxiety. “Your idea, though?”

He shrugged and nonchalantly said, “I could carry you.”

— • —

While I was very wary about being carried across five miles of nature, and even though I didn’t exactly doubt him, some part of me just didn’t believe it.

Either way, we went to the garage and hopped into the Volvo, the one car I was most familiar with, and we were on the road.

Something I had asked him en route was how often he and his family had to hunt, now that a human was in their lives. He explained that their feedings hadn’t changed much for most of the family. I knew enough to presume that Jasper was the one most affected, and, to a far lesser degree, Edward himself.

I recalled a conversation we had about the Hale brother, how he was the latest to join the Cullens and their vegetarianism. He was always working on bettering himself as a veghead.

Alice was his rock in that regard, and had been helping him deal with his thirst since they met in 1948.

Edward, too, had to hunt more, as he was around me and my blood the most.

Thankfully, he said that his thirst was more in control than it had ever been, ignoring his base instincts that sang for my blood. I wasn’t too sure how to feel about the casual discussion of my blood, but I supposed it came with the territory of hanging out with vampires.

He reminded me that spending so much time in my presence was a desensitization practice all its own, and I accepted the logic.

Soon enough, too soon, Edward had pulled the car over and parked.

As he had mentioned when the drive started, we had to drive down the highway, and kept going until we reached the end of the road. There was a thin, dirt trail with a small wooden marker, and I got an uncomfortable feeling at the sight.

It was genuinely ironic that I elected to move to such a green area. But as a former suburban, Arizonan kid with absolutely no greenery in sight growing up, the forest wasn’t the most welcoming of environs.

And I was to actually go into the woods? I hoped I wouldn’t come across the Big Bad Wolf.

We got out, I took a deep breath, and closed the door behind me. Edward was soon at my side, and hanging on his arm was the picnic basket from before.

“You’re taking me for a picnic deep in the woods?” I asked, having barely connected the dots.

“That’s the plan, if you agree to it.” While he smiled, I frowned, and that made him laugh.

“That sounds...really nice, actually. And just how did you intend to carry me, exactly?” The million dollar question.

He pondered this. Then, “Well, I figure either wearing you like a backpack would be sufficient, or I carry you in my arms like a damsel in distress.”

“You sound too amused by those choices,” I accused with narrowed eyes.

“I am, immensely so.”

“Wipe that Cheshire’s grin off your face,” I hissed, and that just made him laugh. “Won’t I slow you down in either scenario?”

_I can’t believe I’m actually entertaining his ideas…_

“With you riding piggyback, the biggest drawback would be if you wouldn’t be able to keep yourself secure to my back,” Edward admitted. “I will be running, and, as a reminder, I can easily outrun the fastest car in a race.”

Instantly, the image of me losing my grip and falling down at such blinding speed came to mind, and l didn’t exactly like the idea of being a smear on the forest floor.

“I swear that you won’t be hurt regardless of your preference, Bel,” Edward said solemnly, and I didn’t doubt his word.

My option was made.

“Damsel it is, then.” I sighed and kindly took the basket from him to hold for the duration of the journey. I wondered how long it would take him to run five miles.

He took a step closer to me, gave me a questioning look, and gently scooped me up in his arms after I nodded my consent. I tried to tuck myself into as much a ball as physically possible, curling around my bag and the picnic basket, vehemently ignoring my embarrassment at being held like this.

“A-And you’re sure that carrying me all that way won’t be an issue for you?”

“None at all,” Edward whispered with a chuckle, his face much closer to mine than it ever was. “You may as well be a fluffy pillow.”

My mouth went dry at our extremely close proximity, and my mind may have gone blank for a second or two.

“You might want to close your eyes,” Edward advised, and then we were _flying._

I hadn’t exactly been on many roller coasters in my life, but I knew at once that none would ever compare to a vampire’s run. The canopy above and the trees around us blurred by in streaks of green and brown, a fact that fascinated me greatly.

It wasn’t the most comfortable experience, being held rather awkwardly in his arms while moving at so fast a speed, but it definitely was preferable to being slung on his back. I was just fascinated by the fact he was able to cradle me as is, with no sense of being physically burdened.

Speaking of height, it still tripped me out to just see how tall Edward was.

In fact, I was surprised by how a good number of people I know, human and vampire, were just _tall_. Edward, Jasper, Emmett (obviously), Carlisle, Rosalie, Angela, and Mike.

_I hope to be as tall as Angela when puberty was officially done with me. She’s an ideal height of five-ten._

During my silly musings about verticality, the forest had blurred by at an alarming rate, and I was so thankful to not be afflicted with motion sickness. It also came to my attention that the way he took was mostly flat, and I felt embarrassed for the little tantrum I gave.

_I am deeeefinitely apologizing for that,_ and _trekking the entire journey back..._

In a matter of what I assumed to be mere minutes, we had traveled deep into the forest. And at some point, Edward gradually began to gradually slow his running until we came to an easy stop.

“We’re almost there,” he told me, not at all sounding out of breath, and knelt down to set me on my feet. “I just would like to run ahead for a moment, if that’s okay with you.”

At once, I had the image of being mauled by a bear while being alone, or a stag ramming me with his antlers. I cringed at the thoughts.

“You don’t happen to hear any bears or anything nearby, do you?” I asked him as fear painted my question near the end. I clutched the picnic basket to my chest, and he chuckled.

“Listen carefully, Bel. What do you hear?”

I looked around, and tried to open my ears as much as possible. It was too quiet. I didn’t even hear birds calling or flying about.

“Animals fear us,” Edward said into the silence. “They generally don’t come near us when they catch our scent. I promise that you’ll be safe, as I’ll only be gone for a minute at most. Okay?”

I decided that I trusted him, and nodded. “Okay.”

With a smile, Edward politely took the basket from my arms, and was gone. I didn’t even know which way he went, and I bet that was an intentional thing. And, probably less than a minute later, he was back at my side without the basket.

“Spot any bears while I was gone?”

I rolled my eyes. “I had tea with Yogi and BooBoo, with honey given to us from Pooh.”

He nodded, hiding a smile. “I’m glad that Yogi was unable to take our picnic basket, then. Speaking of Yogi’s thievery, I’ve something to show you. Think he’ll still show up?”

“Not if he smells you in the area.”

“Touché. Shall we?”

“After you," I exclaimed with a flourish of my arm.

He chuckled, and began walking ahead. We trekked on for maybe ten minutes, with him pointing out otherwise treacherous parts of the forest floor that might’ve somehow mangled me if I wasn’t paying attention.

I broke our casual silence, and spoke quickly, keeping my eyes on the forest floor in concentration.

“Uh, Edward? I...apologize for pitching a fit back there about the hiking thing. I didn’t think to ask if the terrain was rough or not...and it’s been mostly flat. It was pretty immature of me. I’m sorry.”

“Mm, just a little immature,” Edward said, his tone a light tease. “I accept your apology, Bel, thank you. You did have some valid points though, so don’t feel too bad.”

I chuckled. “That’s fair, I guess.”

“We’re almost there, by the way. Can you see the clearing of light up ahead?”

Even with my glasses on, I don’t think I would have. “Not exactly, Mr. Vampire Vision.”

We walked on, and after some hundred yards or so, sunlight was pouring down in patches that progressively got bigger until there was the clearing Edward mentioned. Maybe some twenty feet from the clearing, Edward stepped in front of me, looking excited and nervous.

“Bel.”

“Edward.”

“Would you please close your eyes and cover them with your hands?”

“More guiding me around while blinded for the sake of a surprise?”

“You’re catching on,” he noted amusedly.

“Okay, okay. Guide away.”

Once my hands covered my face, Edward went behind me, gently placed his hands on my shoulders, and carefully guided me to where he wanted. Almost at once, I felt sunlight warm my entire body, and a smile automatically formed at the sensation.

“Keep your eyes closed for a few seconds after I take my hands away, please,” Edward whispered by my ear, and I clearly heard his smile in each word.

“Okay,” I whispered back, feeling oddly nervous yet at ease. A rare combination for me, to say the least; it’s usually one or the other, when it came to being around Edward.

His hands left my shoulders, and their coolness lingered on my shirt. I counted to five in my head.

And then I opened my eyes.

— • —

Sunlight forced my eyes to blink a bit, then to squint until they acclimated to the bright light. As I gazed out at the sight before me, I felt as though I had stepped into a storybook page.

I was at the edge of a small, circular meadow that looked perfectly round. Dotting this bubble of a fairy tale were wildflowers in pinks, purples, yellows, and whites that seemed to glow under the direct sunlight above. Even the patches of tall grass seemed to shine.

Words failed me at the moment, but I automatically took careful steps into this beauty.

The little kid in me was so tempted to just get down to all fours, crawl all around to make little paths amidst the greenery, and then to just lay down in the paths, staring up at the wispy clouds lazily drifting by.

“This is magical,” I said softly, feeling the urge to sing about hills and music.

As I leaned down enough to brush the tops of the flowers and grass, something glittery caught the corner of my eye. I looked over to investigate.

There, in the middle of the meadow, laid Edward, the picnic basket comically resting atop his still stomach. He was looking up at the sky, much like I wanted to do in my imagining.

He was the glittery something.

For a moment, I nearly forgot the one detail that would make any of his kind stand out in sunlight to my kind.

His face, a bit of his neck that I could see, and his hands refracted light, glittering gems that were now his skin cells. I previously wondered what it was about vampire biology that made them living disco balls, but at that moment, I didn’t care.

Wordlessly, I trekked a path through the meadow, trying to spare as many flowers as I could with each step, and soon was standing a ways off from the completely still vampire.

It was rude to stare, I knew, but I wasn’t able to help myself.

“Admiring the view, Mr. Swan?” Edward asked lightly, eyes closing. I didn’t dignify that with a response right then. I took a few steps closer to Edward, and gently sat down.

“This is quite the view, I have to admit,” I said gleefully, looking at the flowers from this lower vantage point. “I’d love to shrink down real small and just wander this would-be forest of flowers. It’s just so beautiful, I can’t believe it.”

When I looked at Edward next, his eyes were open and his face was angled towards me. He was smiling. “You like it, then?”

While I was rather self conscious of big smiles, I just had to grin real big. “Very much. Thank you for taking me here, Edward.”

In a blur of movement, he was sitting as I was, legs crossed. The basket was now sitting between us. “You’re very welcome,” Edward murmured. “Thank you for rolling along with this. I appreciate it. And of course, Happy Birthday, Bel.”

I giggled. “Wow. I almost forgot what this was for. Thanks. I gotta admit, I’m very curious about what you have in that basket.”

On cue, he scooted back a ways, took the basket with him, and pulled a folded bundle from inside. After unfurling it, it was just a small blanket that he laid down on the grass. Edward set the basket in the middle of the blanket, and we both claimed a spot on it, too.

Edward eyed me, his fingers nervously skittering on the edge of the open basket.

“Ya know, I think I could get used to seeing you nervous,” I commented idly. “It’s a refreshing sight, compared to you looking so collected. Very human of you.”

“I’m digging up some long since buried human feelings and thoughts, I have to say.” Even his words had a nervous wavelength to them. I restrained myself from giggling.

Without ceremony, Edward began to unpack the basket, and I was made happy by the assorted goodies.

The blanket became occupied by snacks that were definitely stuff I’d pick up from the grocery or gas station. Three little bags of chips (pretzels, wavy potato, and barbecue potato), two packs of sour gummy worms, and a sleeve of white powdered donuts.

Next to come out were some goodies that appeared to be homemade. There was a container of chocolate chip cookies, another of brownies, large muffins individually wrapped in saran (blueberry and chocolate with chocolate chips), and two sandwiches wrapped in foil (at least judging from the shape).

Last to exit were two reusable bottles filled with water, and a cloth napkin.

_Okay, he got_ major _points for this entire picnic endeavor._

“I take it that you won’t be dining with me, as you’ve previously eaten,” I said as neutrally as could be. Edward just rolled his eyes.

“I think Alice and Emmett are already influencing your humor too much,” he remarked without any bite to his words. Or to me. _Haha!_

“And _I_ think that maybe you just aren’t funny enough.” I smirked. “Maybe you should update your joke book, old timer.”

Edward glared at me, and I couldn’t keep in my laughter at that point. “I have half a mind to put all this lovely food back, and maybe feed it to someone that would appreciate it more.”

I gasped, clutching pearls I wished I had on. “You’d give away this lovely birthday spread meant for me? That would be quite rude of you, Mr. Cullen.”

“And poking fun at my age isn’t rude?”

“Technically, it was more a commentary on the fact that, compared to the century I was born, you are literally from an older time.” I kept up a light tone and calm expression, and I was so proud of myself for that, as my delivery finally made him crack a grin.

“Did you know that your humor and sarcasm are beginning to rival Alice and Emmett’s?”

“I’ll take that as a compliment, so thanks! And more importantly, thank you for this lovely birthday meal. Not only is this top-notch scenery, but you’ve also packed a number of my favorite snacks _and_ my go-to childhood food. Thank you, really. This is so, so sweet of you.”

“It was my pleasure, Bel,” he said with that crooked smile that was a touch bashful. “I admit, while I didn’t help out with the cake, I took it upon myself to personally prepare the sandwiches and baked goodies here. The chocolate items are also dairy free. I hope they’ll all be to your liking.”

I appraised them with impressed eyes, and casually reached for the container of cookies, eagerly took off the lid, and inhaled deeply. I took a bite. “ _Dark_ chocolate chip cookies? _Damn._ ”

At once, I placed the back of a hand to my forehead and feigned a swoon, eyes closed as I was gently carried into cookie bliss.

“I hope that was a sign that it tastes good, rather than a sign of you being poisoned by a first time attempt at baking,” Edward said, and we both laughed.

“And here I was doubting your comedic ability,” I said slyly, quickly downing the cookie and reaching for a second.

“I have my moments,” he said smugly, and laid down on the blanket once again, eyes closed. He looked like he could be sunbathing with intent to tan, were it possible.

From this angle, I was able to get a better look at his otherwise impossible light-refracting vamp skin. The hollow of his throat, visible due to the top button of his shirt being undone, shone as brilliantly as the rest of his suntouched skin.

“Fascinating,” I whispered around a bite of cookie, then closed the lid. I was rather full from my dual breakfast, after all.

“What is?” Edward asked languidly, only his lips moving.

“Your skin in the sunlight. Seeing it in full light totally differs from being told about it. Do either you or your family have any idea why your skin does that? The only thing I can think off the top of my head is to possibly mess with a human’s vision. Or, in your case, an animal’s vision.”

Edward shrugged. “Not really, nothing substantial beyond that exact idea. We can explain practically every other natural weapon we possess with certainty, yet this is the one without answer.” He peeked an eye over at me, and said, “Brilliant guess on your part.”

“Thank you.” I felt a little proud. “Mm. Is it alright if I lay down, too?”

“Of course, Bel. There’s plenty of room. Do you intend to eat any more for now?”

“Nah. I had a light breakfast before the cake and fruit buffet.”

“Then allow me.” Edward sat up to quickly pack up all the food, and set the basket on the blanket beside him. “There you go.”

I thanked him and scooted over some to lay fully back fully beside him, and rested a hand each on my heart and stomach. I sighed in content.

“The sun feels so nice,” I murmured as my eyes fell shut.

“Rosalie thinks so, too,” Edward commented casually. “She is the most fond of sunbathing, and will often rope Emmett and Alice into joining her.”

That was a pleasant surprise to know! Though, the mention of his sister made me a little uneasy.

_Well, better seize the chance, Bel._

— • —

“Rosalie...doesn’t like me,” I said plainly, keeping my closed eyes to the sun. “I know she’s just very concerned that I’ll rat you all out, and the overall risks you all have for associating this closely with a human but...there’s major dislike, too.”

Edward didn’t speak right away. Then, “That isn’t entirely true. I won’t speak for her, Bel, but what I can say is that she’s just a little...prejudiced. There’s no other way to put it, I’m afraid.”

Almost at once, my heart felt heavier. That wasn’t an answer I was anticipating, and I was glad my eyes were closed and not looking at him.

“Oh.”

A heartbeat later, Edward’s cold hand gently placed itself over the hand on my heart, and I looked over at him. He looked heartbroken at having said anything at all.

“I can’t excuse her ignorance, Bel, and I won’t,” he said quietly, urgently. “But...I hope you can understand what I’m to say. Will you please hear me out?”

I just nodded. I didn’t trust my voice, and I was already doing my damndest to fight any tears from falling.

He took his hand off of mine, but kept it close to my shoulder on the blanket. He had totally laid on his side at that point, and I rolled over onto my side, too. We were facing each other, supporting our heads on a raised hand, and there was old anxiety poking its head out of the grass.

_This was very intimate, and his words just might hurt me. Brace yourself, kid._

Edward took a deep breath, and I wondered if it was a big deal if he needed to inhale more than strictly needed.

“As you know,” he began quietly, fully golden eyes focused on mine, “humans die in the transition to vampirehood. Not only do our physical, human bodies come to an end, but so do our minds, in a way.”

“What does that mean?” I whispered, barely a breath of a sound.

“Our minds, our brains, are unable to develop anymore. Your brain, alive and human, changes every day, every minute, thanks to all the information it’s taking in, even now." Despite the factual nature of his words, Edward sounded sad the more he went on.

"Generally speaking, the human mind is considered fully developed at age twenty-five. Vampires, however, are mentally stuck at the age of development that we die in.”

I was beginning to get an idea for what he was talking about, but I knew there was more.

Edward sighed. “That being said, change of any kind can be a great burden for my kind, Bel. Whereas you, a human, can quickly adapt to the changes life inevitably throws at you, my kind is slow on that particular uptake.

“Rosalie, while a good person overall, is a testament to the time she was born. Her life as a human was a more unique one amongst my family, and there was little she sought to change in it. That regrettably includes the beliefs she brought into this life.”

“So, she’ll always hate me?” I rasped pathetically. That was when Edward reached a hand to cup my cheek, his thumb gently wiping a traitorous tear away. His cold touch was a relief, in a way I wasn’t able to identify.

“She doesn’t _hate_ you, Bel,” Edward said urgently. “I can promise you that. Her thoughts have told me as much. She’s a stubborn being in this life and set in her ways, it’s true. But she isn’t a hateful person. If anything, it’s _me_ she hates.”

I blinked, now more confused than I was moments before. Edward elaborated.

“She’s something of a vain person. Even before she found Emmett, she was put off that I had expressed no general interest in her. In her human world, she was so used to being admired by any who saw her, and that much holds true of her in this vampire’s world.

“In all honesty, she’s disbelieving that I could have fallen for a human, let alone a human boy,” he added with a wry laugh. “Though, I was astonished by the latter, too. Yet here you are, the boy to have claimed what is left of my heart, if he so desires.”

Admittedly, this conversation had already taken an unexpected dive with Rosalie. And now the dive went deeper than a nuanced dislike.

_My head felt like it’s spinning… Is this emotional whiplash?_

Edward continued speaking when I didn’t contribute.

“Despite Rosalie’s pride and pigheadedness, I’m doing what I can to understand her point of view, to open her mind to a modern way of thinking. We all are. She did so with Emmett, and with Alice and Jasper, too.” At that moment, I had no idea what he meant by that, but I didn’t interrupt. “I am sure she will come around to the reality of our collective and individual queerness, too.”

I was already so emotionally drained from this conversation, I didn’t have much to say. There was so much to process and dissect.

Still, Edward was so earnest, so firm in his belief. Who was I to doubt him?

— • —

Kindly as I mustered, I asked for a change of subject. I explained that my mind was in all kinds of jumbles, and I just needed a reprieve from such heavy, complex conversation.

Edward obliged me. We sat up, he handed me a bottle of water, and I knocked back a good amount. He then spent the next hour or so just talking. He recounted a number of stories from his long life that he figured I might find of interest.

And boy, was I interested.

He began by telling me about his adventures around the world with his family, as well as some solo ventures. Edward was particularly fond of Brazil, and he knew perfect Portuguese. I knew he was multilingual, he said as much before, but I didn’t know how much of a polyblat he actually was!

“I’m obviously fond of Portuguese,” he remarked. “Korean is a fascinating language, though Alice is far more fluent. Russian is actually quite a romantic language, in all honesty. Gaelic is absolutely beautiful, as is Ireland itself.”

He then spoke a bit of each language to me and translated it after my guesses were entirely off the mark. Of course, he was complimenting me in various aspects, and I naturally became just a few shades closer to the red of my plaid.

One hour became two, and the topics at hand became wildly varied. We took turns talking, and I personally avoided bringing up sensitive subjects, at least for now.

Except one. One I was okay to speak up about when asked.

“Bel, you once mentioned that you’ve been to many funerals,” Edward said gently, and I nodded. “May I know how you view your relationship with death?”

“Ah. Sure! Oh, boy. Where to begin?” At this point, I dug back into the basket for the brownies, and _damn_ it was heaven.

“Well. I have some conflict with funerals, in particular. Most of my mom’s family lives in San Diego. We’d drive the five or six hours from Phoenix to make whatever funeral came up. We even drove all the way to Oregon for a funeral there, too. The drive alone, no matter the distance, was just physically exhausting as a kid, ya know?

“Thankfully, we stayed with family for a few days, and drove out at least a day before the funeral. But still, exhausting. Besides that, I went to my first funeral when I was four, I think. Or three? I don’t remember.”

“Whose death were you honoring at that age?” Edward asked lightly, eyes glued to my face. I took another bite of brownie before answering.

“My mom’s younger brother,” I said gently, eyes focused on the treat in my hand. “He was killed in a _sincere_ accident. With a gun.” I ignored the watery wobble of my voice. “He was seventeen. A family friend around his age brought a gun to my Nana’s house. They were just looking at it, being dumb kids, and they didn’t think to see if it was loaded or not.

“The friend pulled the trigger, and...shot my uncle in the heart,” I said weakly.

Sensing my distress, Edward reached a hand out to my knee. I nodded my thanks for the gesture, and pressed on.

“Anyways. I barely remember the funeral itself. It was the limo drive to the cemetery I remember most. And seeing his body during the wake in the church. I didn’t really understand that he wasn’t just sleeping in the coffin, and that I wouldn’t see my tío anymore.

“After his death, it seemed Renée was driving us out to California every other year or so. Sometimes, it felt like there was a death each year as I got older. We have such a big family, apparently, I can’t even name all my cousins related by marriage.

“I was always told that I looked like my uncle, though. I heard it so much growing up. For a while, it felt like my family didn’t really...see _me_. They saw the son, the brother, the cousin they lost. It feels like his ghost has followed me all of my life.

“And because I was as much a goofball, like he was, and we both had many physical resemblances...well, I was the next best thing to having him back in their lives, apparently.”

I went silent for a moment, and I didn’t bother wiping my silent tears. Neither did Edward.

My hand found his on my knee, and I squeezed it once.

“Death honestly scares me, Edward,” I said into the quiet. “But since I first felt my uncle’s cold skin after I reached into his coffin to touch his face, I knew it was something to respect, too. It comes for everyone at some point.

“My Nana’s death hurt the most. She died last year. Lung cancer.” Despite this obviously heavy topic, I still managed a chuckle, and my following smile was genuine. “She had been smoking every day of her life since she was fourteen or so. Healthy as an ox, though, save for her slowly rotting lungs. Stubborn old woman, too.

“Young or old, death doesn’t discriminate. Not at all. As much as I fear dying, I’ve accepted that inevitability. And as much as I’ve come to really hate funerals, they’ve taught me a lot more than anything I could learn in school.”

I snorted at that, and that heavy atmosphere lifted off of us both. I finished my forgotten brownie, and snagged one more.

— • —

“Anyways. Uh, thanks for hearing me out, Edward,” I said kindly, meeting his eyes. “I...haven’t really been able to talk about the losses in my family. Not many my age have been to a single funeral, let alone as much as I’ve been to. It...it really means a lot to me.”

Edward gently squeezed my knee, and I totally forgot my hand was still on his. I calmly pulled it off, and Edward also withdrew his.

“No, thank _you_ for sharing such an immensely personal history with me, Bel,” Edward murmured, eyes alight with something I couldn’t place. “You’ve been through so much in your life, and you’ve carried so much on your shoulders alone. I truly can’t imagine what it must have been like to experience it all. And yet carry it as well as you can. How admirable, Bel. Extremely admirable.”

Naturally, I flushed at the sincerity of his words, and just smiled awkwardly. I never knew what to say when people said stuff like that to me.

“If I may say something, though?” I nodded in permission. “Thank you.

“It should be noted, Bel,” Edward began solemnly, "that it wasn’t fair of your family to use you as a scapegoat for his passing. It wasn’t fair at all. You were just a child that was made out to be someone irreplaceable, someone forever gone. I imagine that your family had no ill intentions, but you suffered for them all the same. It wasn’t your fault, Bel, I pray that you know this.”

That left me speechless.

Not once was I _ever_ told anything close to what Edward had just told me. Obviously, this is because I haven’t opened up to anyone about this until now, but still. It mattered immensely to me, and struck me in the most profound ways.

I wasn’t ashamed of the tears that fell down my face. Not after being told something I should have been told sooner in my life.

“Thank you,” was all I whispered as I wiped my tears with the back of my hand.

_Guess I’m still not used to talking so much in a single sitting. And being so vulnerable with someone else. Damn._

I scrambled to quickly pick up a topic and roll with it, as well as to pull myself together. And then had to mentally kick myself in the face at the first thing that came to mind.

But shit, it had to be done.

“Well. In hopefully a lighter note of conversation,” I started. “Edward? About one of your previous questions that has since been unanswered…”

He tilted his head slightly in thought. “Which question would that be?”

_Just...band-aid it. Go!_

“About the fact that you’ve basically been taking me out on dates for the past month, and the fact that I only _very_ recently realized that fact. Um. That question.”

Statue Edward solidified again, but his eyes were roving over my face. I had his attention, all right, as he didn’t say anything else.

“W-Well.” I took a pause for breath. “Well. Okay, look, I’m immensely inexperienced in _actually_ dating someone, but if this month has been any indication, we’ve definitely been dating. I’m interested in you in a more than platonic sense, and you’re interested in me in the same manner, if not greater. And while I don’t think I’ll be dropping the L-word so easily anytime soon, I-I very much want to date you in an official capacity. I-if that’s something you’d consider, of course.”

_Has nerves about talking a lot in a single sitting, but will easily blabber on a mile a minute when nervous to any degree? Check._

A moth attracted to light, I couldn’t look away from him even though part of my mind was desperately urging me to. So, I was able to see the most beatific smile light up Edward’s entire face. He looked so much like the seventeen year old boy he was, in the human sense.

Edward had a boyish charm about him that was rather endearing, so...wholesome, in a way?

Detecting that charm had me wonder what Edward was like when he was human, when blood ran through his veins. When his face was capable of being dusted with hues of pink or red in excitement, in happiness.

I was startled into silence when Edward reached for my hand, and carefully took it in his.

Golden eyes found mine as he said, “I would be truly honored to share my heart with you, Beltrán. It is yours to keep for as long as you care to hold onto to it.”

And then, without wavering his gaze, Edward leaned down and gently pressed his lips to the back of my hand.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So, if you read the parts about death, you might've detected that they're pretty specific events for a child to experience, maybe too specific to have been made up on the fly. Which is, of course, because those are directly my experiences.
> 
> The timeline for when these people have died in my life is different from when they actually died as Bel experienced them, but the ways they died are true. 90% of what Bel speaks of in that conversation is true to my experiences, save for what ties into the Twilight canon and other minor details that didn't need to be included.
> 
> I didn't hesitate in putting these personal accounts of my life into this story, not at all. Everyone experiences death, some more than others, like me, but death is absolute. It's taken me most of my life to realize how death has scarred my family and myself, and I'm glad that I have the knowledge I have now to actually address and deal with all that trauma.
> 
> I included my experiences because I believe that it's very important for death to be an open conversation, to and from those willing to talk about it. I know how hard it is to deal with losing someone, and that everyone mourns and grieves differently. But it happens, and I feel that it should be a normalized conversation.
> 
> For example, I really do dislike US-American funerals. They're too tragic for my liking, dressed in black and full of tears. While of course death is a sad thing, I would hope that, for my funeral, the people in attendance are there to celebrate my life, make fun of all the stupid shit I said and did, laugh with my in my highs and joys, and acknowledge my lows and sorrows. I want my funeral to be a damn party, okay? Let me go out with a bang. XD
> 
> Anyways. If you're willing to talk about death with me, I hope it can be an open conversation for anyone who is willing to be open about it with me. You can message me about this, or anything else you'd like to talk about, at any of my social medias.
> 
> Tumblr, messages or asks: [Link text](https://phantomdiamond.tumblr.com/ask)
> 
> Twitter: [Link text](https://twitter.com/aPhantomDiamond)
> 
> Instagram: [Link text](https://instagram.com/aphantomdiamond?igshid=1cpn30u07m4n)


	9. Unlucky Strike

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Edward takes Bel to a friendly, vampire's game of baseball with the rest of the Cullens. Unfortunately, they come across strangers that aren't as friendly...

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I realize now that the updated character tags tend to be spoilery, but I'm also presuming that readers of the story know Twilight very well, are generally familiar with it, or have no idea who these characters are by name. Oh well. XD

When I woke up on the morning of the twelfth, I just knew that I was to be taken to the Cullen-Hale house for a birthday surprise. When I woke up on the morning of the thirteenth, the surprise of the hour was my recall of a single word.

_Boyfriend._

I stayed in bed, just staring up at the ceiling, marveling over the word. It kind of felt a little weird to think, and I knew that saying it out loud was a thrill all its own.

Both thought and word made the moths flutter happily within my ribcage.

“Edward Cullen, huh?” I whispered to the quiet of my room. The only sound I heard was the light pittering of rain on the roof. A rush of warmth centered around my chest and face, and I turned over into my pillow to muffle a giggle.

My dad knocked on my door and startled me. “You awake, Bels?” Charlie gruffly asked from the other side of it, still not fully awake yet.

“Yeah, Dad! Good morning!”

“Morning, kiddo. I’m gonna make breakfast for us. Come down when you’re ready, ‘kay?”

“Thanks, Dad! I will!” His footsteps retreated, and I heard him go downstairs. I sighed, and I let myself linger in bed for about five more minutes before the smell of food wafted upstairs.

I went down to the kitchen, feeling wide awake for once, and plopped myself down at the kitchen table. “Hiya,” I said cheerily to Charlie. “What’s on the menu, Dad?”

“Omelettes and one without cheese for you, homefries, aaaand some blueberry pancakes,” he rattled off, throwing a smile over his shoulder at me. “You’re in a good mood this morning. Good dreams?”

_Yesterday sure felt like a dream, that’s for sure._

“Something like that,” I said instead. “I slept really well. Which is a nice change of pace for my weekends.”

“Hmm, I wonder why.” His sarcasm was duly noted as he gave me a pointed look before returning his attention to the stove. “That can’t have anything to do with you usually staying up late on weekends, could it?”

“Nah, that can’t be it.”

“Sure, kid,” Charlie laughed. “Get us some plates, please?”

“Yessir!” I brought the plates over to the counter space next to him, and some forks and knives to place on the table. Next to grab was a coffee cup for him and a glass for me, and then orange juice and various condiments from the fridge. Charlie placed our stacked plates down on the table, and we chowed down.

“Got any plans today, Bels?” Charlie asked around a mouthful of pancake.

I flinched at the question, and remembered a piece of my goodbye to Edward last night.

_“Bel, would you be comfortable introducing me as your boyfriend to your father tomorrow?”_

Edward was apparently insistent on doing things as he was raised, even if neither of us were exactly the traditional coupling his society taught him about. While sweet, it made me extremely nervous.

_Sure, Charlie knew Edward and I were friends, but I wasn’t sure how he’d take to us suddenly dating. Well, suddenly to him, anyways. A month wasn’t that short a time to be dating someone, right…?_

I didn’t have that answer. And there was only one way to proceed.

“Uh, yeah, actually!” I said, and took a quick gulp of orange juice. “Um, I’m gonna go spend time with Edward and his family later on today. We’re gonna play baseball.”

Just then, the light drizzle from earlier became a downpour, water pounding down on the roof.

“ _You’re_ going to play baseball?” Charlie asked incredulously. Leave it to my dad to not mind the fact that we’d be playing in a damn monsoon, and only pick up on my inclusion in a sport.

At least he knew his kid well enough to know an untruth when he heard one.

“Okay, no, I’m not. I’m just watching them play.” I grumpily ate some of my potatoes, and Charlie laughed.

“Sounds fun, kid. Since when have you been chummy with the Cullens?”

_There it was. That suspicious tone I was expecting._

“For a little while, actually.” True and vague, enough. “Through Edward and Alice, his sister.” _Also technically true, as she_ is _the friendliest to me of the Cullen-Hale vamp kids._

“That’s nice to know, kiddo,” Charlie said sincerely. “Sure are popular, ain’t ya, kid?”

I chuckled, rolling my eyes in good humor, with a grin to boot. “I’m the life of the party, didn’t you know?”

“Okay there, hotshot.” He laughed real big, the kind where his shoulders noticeably moved. “Well, I hope you have fun, Bels. Tell them and his family that I say hi.”

“Actually, you’ll be able to say as much to Edward in person. He’s gonna pick me up in a few hours. Wait, what time is it?”

Charlie glanced at his watch, and said, “8:30. Which reminds me, you’re up awfully early. You must’ve slept real well.”

“I’ll say,” I murmured to myself, shocked that I’d be up before ten on a Sunday morning. “So he might be picking me up later in the day. I didn’t realize it was so early.”

The phone rang then, and I went over to the phone there in the kitchen. “Hello?”

“Hi hi, Bels!”

I smiled. “Jake? Why the heck are you up this early?” I turned to my dad in pleasant surprise, and he mouthed, “Tell him I said hi” to me. I nodded, then faced forward again.

“I could say the same for you,” he said with a chuckle.

“Touché. My old man says hi, by the way.”

“Hey, I’m not an old man!” Charlie complained in protest, and I chuckled. Jake did too, but I didn’t tell Charlie that.

“Ah, tell him I say hey!” I relayed his message over my shoulder. “Well, I just wanted to see if you had plans today!” Jake happily exclaimed his not-question, and more quietly said, “And to personally ask you about that mystery guy of yours. You never said a name, by the way. Bels.”

I totally ignored his last sentence. Wasn’t even going to bother with _that_ shitstorm so early in the morning.

“Ah, sorry dude! I’m actually gonna go see my boyfriend and his family today!”

With Charlie unable to see my nervous expression, I bit at my lip like a beaver gnawing wood. I knew dropping the B-word was the quickest way to just get that conversation over with.

Because of course Charlie would casually grill me about it. _Of course._

“ _Boyfriend?_ ” Jake repeated, tone full of implication; I could just _hear_ his shit-eating grin.. “You owe me an explanation, Swan.”

“Of course, Jake,” I said, resigned to my fate. “See ya on Friday, dude. Tell Billy that me and dad say hi!”

“Will do, Bels. Have fuuuuuuuun!!” He sang-song that, voice still full of tease.

I giggled. “Take care, man.”

“Sure, sure. Smell ya later!” I hung up, and returned to my seat while pointedly fixing my eyes to my plate .

“Ohhhhh,” Charlie exclaimed slowly after a pregnant pause. “Edward Cullen _was_ your _friend_ , huh, Bels?” His voice was smug as hell, and he knew it. _How dare he!!_

A groan left my mouth quicker than I could stop it.

“Dad, please don’t do this,” I said in an aside, unwilling to give the old man the satisfaction.

“And just when were you gonna introduce me to your boyfriend, hm?” He said this as a joke, clearly so, and took a big bite of some omelette wrapped in pancake; _what a genius breakfast move_ , I thought.

“When he comes over today, actually,” I said in a sigh, and he stopped chewing, surprised. “He wanted to properly introduce himself as such. He’s pretty old school like that,” I said in a huff, begrudging Edward this one thing.

_“It would put me at ease if I would be allowed to do this,” Edward admitted, a little anxious himself._

Edward hadn’t played fair, is what I told myself and didn’t believe it. I knew he was being very honest, and that was just the worst part, in the grand scheme of my theatrics.

I just couldn’t be too dramatic about it. It was just too sweet.

“Oh,” Charlie said plainly after a drink of coffee. “Well. That’s awfully polite of him,” he said kindly.

I smiled nervously. “Yeah, it is, huh?”

“Will you tell me more about him?” Charlie asked conversationally, and I inwardly sighed.

_It’s not that I don’t wanna tell you, Dad. I just don’t wanna tell you right_ now _, when Edward is possibly in hearing distance._

“Well. We became official yesterday, actually,” I said. “And we had been dating for the last month without me really knowing it until the other day.”

That made him laugh, and he failed to hide it as a cough.

“That sure sounds like you, alright,” Charlie said into a napkin before he wiped his mouth with it. “Well, don’t worry, I’m not gonna play 20 Questions with him or anything. Just know that I _will_ use my right and authority as your father to embarrass you to him as much as I see fit.”

I hung my head in defeat, not at all a participant in _that_ battle. “I figured as much.”

We went back to our breakfast, and he went on to tell me that he was grateful for my plans, as Billy invited him over to Harry’s place for a card game night. I wished him a good time out, and to gamble responsibly, if it came to it.

By this point, I knew how competitive they could get with card games. What would start as a casual, no-money game quickly became one of strictly pennies being set up as a winner’s pot.

They were big rollers, obviously.

The true prize was the loser buying dinner for the group. Which was more of a prize for first and second place, and while third obviously loses, first also would have just too many pennies to play with in the future.

Those three men were children, sometimes.

— • —

We finished breakfast, cleaned up, and I went to go get ready.

Alice informed me that her family needed a storm going on to play baseball, as the force of their bats making a hit could be loud as thunder. Bearing that in mind, we’d get some cold but tolerable temperatures with no rain, thankfully, and I was to dress accordingly.

I figured I’d bring a hoodie just to be safe, and threw a dark blue, short sleeve button up decorated with lots of strawberries over a comfy, purple, long sleeve shirt. A small part of me acknowledged that I had somewhat acclimated to the colder weather already, and for that I was thankful.

Clothes picked out, I went to take a full shower (hair included), then returned to my room and sat at my desk with my hair wrapped up in a towel. As I booted up the computer, I took the towel off my head, and began to brush out my semi-damp hair. While doing this, I tried to remember when I had last written my mom, and was coming up blank.

_Oops._

Well, if there was anything serious as she saw it, I would’ve gotten a message from Charlie saying that she called. During my first month in Forks, she would call at least once a week with a gentle reminder to me, from Charlie, to have me reply to her emails.

Needless to say, I became _very_ grateful when she finally understood that my decrease of replies didn’t mean that Forks erupted in flames or something. Life was happening anew and I just needed time to settle.

She kindly backed off after that.

“Even with a few state lines between us, she still hovers,” I commented to myself, fanning my hair out to let it air dry. The computer was ready for use, and I pulled up my emails.

Thankfully, there were only two that I left unanswered, and one new one. I quickly typed up two paragraphs to address the unreplied messages, and drafted it so that I could open the unread one. Her message made me smile and laugh.

She told me of a dream she had.

I had surprised a visit to her in Phoenix, and pulled up to the house just as she was about to hop in her car with Phil. Dream-Renée happily explained that they were going to Jacksonville, Florida to meet up with a baseball team management that maybe wanted to sign Phil, as well as to take in the sights. Dream-Bel instantly said yes to their invitation to join them, and as I got in the car, she woke up.

_I was so happy, Bel, I woke up crying,_ she’d written after concluding the dream’s events. _I guess I just miss my boy, is all. Do you think you’d be willing to fly out to see me sometime soon? Maybe? Think about it! I love you, Jelly Bean!!_

“Aww, she Jelly Beaned me,” I said to the screen, grinning real big.

That was a nickname she called me early on, as I was obsessed with Jelly Beans when I was four, and it was the only candy I’d eat for a while. In recent years, I heard less of the old name, and heard it when she was being extra affectionate.

I opened up the drafted message, and made sure to write her a lengthy reply in return. I said that I’d love to visit her sometime in the near future, obviously. No specifics, as I wasn’t too homesick and, well, plane tickets weren’t exactly cheap.

My hands hesitated over the keyboard as I contemplated mentioning Edward in this newer context of ours. And decided I didn’t want to have her hounding me with phone calls to gush about him juuuust yet.

I threw in some more filler details I hadn’t yet gotten to, scanned the entire thing for any grammar or spelling mistakes, and sent the message as is. I powered the computer off after that.

While it would take my hair a while to dry, I double checked to see if I had any homework I needed to do, and set to it.

I knocked out my math homework (reluctantly), an entire essay for English, and some leftover assigned reading I hadn’t gotten to. I took notes as I read along. If I didn’t, I wouldn’t remember a damn thing about the plot.

— • —

Something about the last...fifteen hours or so kept repeating in my mind. Call me a sappy dude, but could I really be blamed for overreacting over the fact that Edward _actually_ kissed my hand?

Let’s call it what it was, ya know? Hand-kissing was a social etiquette of a bygone era in which a gentleman would greet a lady. And it’s not even the fact that it’s an antiquated etiquette, though a true one.

To me, it was just an incredibly intimate thing, is all. I wondered how many boys got kissed on the hand by another boy in this small town. Bet I could count them on half of a hand.

At least the vamp of the hour was pleased with my reaction.

Edward was absolutely _soaring_ after he kissed my hand yesterday, and was quietly smug all the hike back to the truck (which I insisted on doing). I teased him for acting as if he won a great prize, and he said that he did while flashing me that crooked smile.

_Ugh. I was never prepared for Edward to sound or be so cheesy, but I can’t be mad at him either. I know that he’s so sincere with it._

It wasn’t fair. But alas, dramatics.

Anyways, my hair was mostly dry by then and I had an hour or two to kill, so I went downstairs to watch TV with Charlie. We were both keen for the _MythBusters_ show, and I was happy to watch the newest episode for the first time; I had missed its airing last Wednesday.

“Why does this episode need to be about yawning?” I asked immediately after yet _another_ yawn.

Charlie hid one behind the back of his hand, but I still heard it. “Well, you heard ‘em, Bels. Yawning is contagious, confirmed,” he said, sounding as sleepy as I did.

“Ha ha, Dad.”

Charlie just smirked. We continued watching TV, shifting between channels until we settled on a movie that the old man really loved.

The movie had just ended when the phone rang, and I reached over on the end table next to me for the wireless handset; _this wireless landline still blows my mind,_ I thought before I answered.

“Hello?”

“Good morning, Bel,” came Edward’s soothing voice.

“O-Oh! Good morning!” I hoped the old man didn’t notice how sweet my voice got, because I for sure noticed.

“You sound nervous,” he noted lightly.

“Just a little, I guess.” I said. Dad lowered the volume out of courtesy, and I hoped that was his only reason for it.

Edward chuckled. “I see. Well, I just wanted to let you know that I’m on my way. I’ll be there in ten minutes at most.”

“Okay, then!”

“See you soon,” he murmured softly before ending the call. I was smiling at the phone as I placed it back in its cradle, and returned my gaze to the TV.

A beat of silence. Then, “Is the boyfriend on his way?”

_Charlie was never going to let me live this down,_ I realized.

“Edward, Dad, and yes, he is.” I sighed.

“I figured, seeing as you’re pink as a peach,” he remarked smugly, and I felt my face burn.

“I’m gonna go get my things!” I exclaimed before darting up the stairs, with Charlie’s laughter a roar in my ears.

— • —

In my room, I threw on my hoodie and zipped it up, leaving my short-sleeve shirt beneath it unbuttoned. Otherwise, my body would get warm way too quickly, and that wasn’t fun for me.

I pulled my hair into a low ponytail, checked that my messenger bag had all my necessities (wallet, keys, inhaler, water bottle), killed a few more minutes just idling around, and went back downstairs to wait.

Just as I sat down, a knock came at the door, and Charlie quickly got up, shooting me a grin as he darted to get the door to let Edward in. I quickly followed, and saw Edward shake off his large umbrella on the porch before collapsing it, and he placed it down to lean against the wall.

“Hey there, Edward, c’mon in,” Charlie said as he moved back to let Edward in.

“Thank you,” he said politely, reaching a gloved hand out to shake Charlie’s hand. “It’s nice to see you again, Charlie.”

“Likewise, Edward.” Dad threw a knowing glance to me as their hands pulled away. “So I’m to gather that you’re taking my boy to play baseball?”

Edward chuckled and nodded. “If the weather permits us, that’s the plan. If not, my family and I will most likely entertain him back at our home.”

“More power to ya, I suppose,” Charlie said amusedly. “Make sure to take care of him for me, ya hear?” The old man’s tone became pretty serious, and his words held a weight to them. I guessed this was Dad’s way of acknowledging our relationship to Edward? Maybe?

“You have my word, sir,” Edward promised, spoken so surely that he left no room for doubt.

To me, Charlie said, “Not too late out, Bels, okay? Before ten, preferably.”

“Of course, Dad. Edward, ready when you are!”

He nodded, and said to my dad, “We’ll be off, then. I hope you enjoy your day, Charlie.”

“Why, thank you! You kids have fun, too, and say hi to your folks for me, Edward.”

“I will,” Edward said, then excused himself out the front door to pick up and pop open his umbrella. I went over to give Charlie a big hug and he kissed my head before shooing me off.

I closed the doors behind me, went on to step under the umbrella with Edward, and we walked off the to porch to the huge Jeep parked out front, with the fixings of an off-roading car I remembered from the garage. The four, large spotlights atop the crash bar seemed more intimidating, now.

“Whoa! Where’s the Volvo?”

“It’s not up to par with the terrain we’ll need to travel.

“That doesn’t sound promising.” I nervously eyed the car in front of me as he opened the door for me, and I hoisted myself into the absolute beast of a vehicle.

Edward closed the door behind me once I was seated, and he walked around to the driver’s side at a human place. I tried to figure some of the buckles to the safety harness, but had no luck.

Edward got in, took off his gloves and closed the umbrella, placed it in the backseat, and leaned over to properly strap me in. I hugged my bag to my chest as Edward turned the engine on, whose roar made me flinch, and then we were off.

“You know,” Edward said slowly, eyes not at all on the road. “I had a theory that my inability to read your mind might have been genetic. Well, Carlisle had the idea initially, to be clear. Still, I thought that it was plausible.”

“How could it be genetic?"

“Well, for one, when I first met your father, I wasn’t focused on picking up on his thoughts. But I was just now, and it was as though his mind was a radio tuned to AM whereas nearly all else are on FM. I was able to get bits of his thoughts, but never the whole picture.”

I didn’t know what to do with this information, exactly, but it definitely was interesting. Which prompted me to say, “Huh. I wonder if you’d be able to read my mom’s mind, then.”

“Whose to know?” Edward wondered, sounding very much like he _was_ curious to know. “Seeing as your mind is completely silent to me compared to his relative mental silence, the genetic theory holds more ground.”

_Wait a sec…_

“Did you...happen to hear anything from Charlie’s mind, then?” As i was saying the words, I was unsure if I was braced for his answer.

He glanced over at me, and the corner of his mouth raised in a cheesy grin. “It wasn’t quite the introduction I imagined, but I am still quite happy that you told him about you and I. He was thinking about me as your boyfriend, but that’s all I was able to hear.”

There was no fighting my blush, then. “W-Well, of course I told him!”

Edward laughed, a joyous sound. “And I thank you for it, Bel, truly.” With no reply from me, he added, “Your heartbeat tells me so much more than what your words aren’t. Are you nervous about something?”

“Yeah, about lots of things,” I said honestly. “Mostly and currently, it’s meeting up with your family as your b-boyfriend.” I tried to say the word evenly, but Edward had just begun the off-roading portion of the ride. Conversation was effectively shut down, as the drive felt like an earthquake contained within the Jeep.

It was fairly obvious that, while I was nervous to see them all in this new context, I was far more concerned with seeing and interacting with Rosalie. She was apparently on the queerphobic scale, and I wasn’t at all sure how much that would manifest, now.

I was incredibly worried, but tried not to dwell on her.

While I had some issues with a few asshole students back home, I was rarely confronted by them for my bisexuality. I was lucky in that all I dealt with were verbal knives hurled at me. And while they cut deep, I was mostly able to shake them off.

Meanwhile, what the hell did a group of assholes have against a single, ignorant vampire?

That was also something I put out of my mind.

_Yikes._

After the earthquake on wheels came to a stop, a look out the windows showed me an absolute wall of trees. We’d come to the end of the road, and thick forestry seemed to be our next leg of the journey. The rain had gradually decreased as we drove on, and was now just a lovely drizzle.

“I hope you’re ready for another vampire’s run,” Edward commented lightly before hopping out the Jeep. I thankfully managed to undo the harness, and he had my door open with an offered hand to help me down.

“Before we depart, though,” Edward said, gently running a thumb over my cheek as I looked up at him. “I understand that Rosalie is a concern for you, Bel. And while she won’t be a saint to you, she _will_ be on her best behavior. For her, that is.” We both winced at his clarification.

“But if at any point,” he quickly went on, “you find yourself becoming uncomfortable because of her, I will happily take you home. I can’t imagine that Rosalie would dare be outrightly rude to a friend of the family, if not my own boyfriend, in front of our parents. Rosalie is always one to surprise, however.”

My concern over his sister was temporarily set aside. I became inwardly happy by Edward stating that I was a family friend.

Honestly, I didn’t exactly know what to make of how the family as a whole viewed me.

Even though they had welcomed me to their home and, more importantly, their secret, I was just a human, after all. Surely we weren’t too important to them overall, aside from being participants in their human facade.

And yet, there I was, an anomaly to their way of life that was mostly embraced with open arms. It was just nice to get even that small glimmer of validation amidst my anxiety.

“Okay,” I told him meekly, and forced a smile. Edward frowned.

“Bel, we can go back to Forks, if you’d truly prefer,” he whispered. “Please don’t feel like you have to go through with this if you don’t want to.” I was shaking my head before he finished speaking.

“No, I do want to, I do,” I said, meaning it. “Your family invited me, and I’m not gonna skip on it just because of one semi-unpleasant person. Er, no offense to her,” I quickly added, and Edward surprised me by throwing his head back in laughter.

“She _can_ be a little unpleasant at times.” Edward sported a guiltless grin. “I won’t fault you for an honest observation.” I grinned back, and he lightly kissed my forehead.

_Don’t dwell on it too much, dork, he’s your boyfriend!! This is allowed!!_

I still was incredibly happy by the display of affection all the same, how could I not be?!

“Is the human ready for some baseball, then?”

“Batter up!”

— • —

With another exhilarating experience of Edward’s running under my belt, we had made it to the massively wide clearing that was apparently the baseball field, and he set me down.

The mountains in the relatively near distance impressed me, and I wondered just how far out we were. Out here, the weather was very cloudy and a little chilly, but there was no rain.

We walked, hand in hand, to where some of his family was.

Nearest us, Esme was talking with Carlisle and Jasper. Rosalie was marking bases for their playing field, or at least it looked that way. And far off in what could be the outfield was Alice, hilariously tossing Emmett into the air much like cheerleaders would. She seemed to be shouting something at him, but I couldn’t hear what.

_I don’t think I’ll ever forget the sight of tiny Alice launching humongous Emmett into the air for as long as I live…_

“Welcome, Bel,” Esme said as we stopped at their little group. I saw her glance down to our hands, and she gave Edward a radiant glance. “It’s lovely to see you again.”

“Thank you, Esme, and likewise!” I said happily. “And of course, nice to see you both as well,” I said to Carlisle and Jasper.

“Bel,” Jasper said as a greeting, dipping his chin in a nod.

“Thank you for joining us, Bel,” Carlisle said lightly. “We hope that we’ll put on a hell of a game for you.”

“Go, team, go!” I chanted, and we all laughed. Carlisle and Jasper zipped off to the field, and I saw that the others had gathered in the field at various positions, too.

“Esme is often our umpire,” Edward said beside me as we walked at my pace to stand a little behind home plate.

On my other side, Esme said, “Yes, because my children are prone to cheating.” She giggled, and I laughed too.

“Mother, I am offended that you’d accuse _me_ of cheating,” Edward said. His smirk said otherwise. Esme just rolled her eyes, smiling.

“I hope your eyes can keep up,” Edward told me with a wink and a kiss to my temple before he flew off to the outfield. I quickly fetched my glasses from my bag and put them on, just in case.

By the time the game was really going, I realized that the first few pitches were slowed down for my human eyes to see what was going on. Soon enough, they were just blurs of motion, and I was quickly reminded of why they needed a thunderstorm.

Jasper was up to bat, doing some wildly impressive, one-handed juggling act with the metal bat. As he got in position, the first crash of thunder sounded, echoing across the clearing. It sounded nearly identical to the sound of Jasper’s bat connecting with the ball moments later.

It was then that I was somewhat able to detect that the vampires were holding back in their swings. Whenever they made thunder in a successful hit was them swinging at their full strength. Or as close to full strength.

Of the Cullens, I saw that Edward was the fastest runner and that Emmett was the stronger hitter. They were on opposing teams, and whenever Emmett was up to bat, Edward would be the one to streak after the ball. He caught it almost every time no matter the distance it went.

Esme eventually joked about offering me a chance at umpire, and I told her that even with my glasses, I had no chance at calling the major shots. I did have the honor of calling players out on the dash or slide to home plate, though.

Rosalie wasn’t the happiest when I rightfully called her out, and thankfully didn’t say anything. I owed it to Esme’s presence beside me, but she still managed a swift glare before walking away.

_Baby steps, Bel. This will be a slow crawl, I imagine._

The game went on for maybe forty-five minutes, and I was having a good time overall. Admittedly, I had spent most of it sitting on the ground, as I actually got tired from standing for so long, unlike _some_ not-alive people.

That was when Alice became frozen after pitching to Edward, and he froze, too. The ball hit him on his shoulder, and it lamely fell to the ground. I quickly got to my feet, huddling closer to Esme.

At once, Jasper flew over to Alice, trying to thaw her out. From where I was, I saw that she had a glazed look in her eyes. _She saw something_.

I had an uneasy feeling.

While I hadn’t paid the most attention to Alice’s expressions during a vision, she usually froze for a second as the vision came to her, then resumed whatever she was doing.

In a blink, the Cullens had all converged around me, with Edward coming to my side to quietly fill me in. “Bel, three vampires we don’t know are coming this way. Alice had seen a vision of them decidedly heading north, but they changed course after hearing our game and recognizing that it wasn’t thunder. They’re not vegetarians like us, Bel. We will do all we can to get you out of here safely, without provoking them to hunt you.”

_Hunt me?_

They all began talking too fastly for my ears to keep up, though I caught tidbits of what they were saying.

“Thirsty?” Esme said worriedly, eyes falling to me for a second.

“Just three of ‘em,” stated Emmett, arms crossed over his chest and flexing.

“When?” Jasper asked tersely, and Alice answered, “In five.” I figured that meant five minutes, and that unease unfurled inside my chest and stomach.

“What can I do to help?” I squeaked.

“Zip up your jacket, dear,” Esme said kindly, and I complied. Too bad I wasn’t sealed in a can of tuna.

“Let your hair down,” Edward said, quiet but firm, and I did that, too.

“Like that’d help,” Rosalie said coldly. “I could smell him from across the field.”

I tensed up at her tone and her statement, and I thought I heard Edward quickly hiss her name, but wasn’t too sure.

“Let’s keep playing,” Carlisle said. “Nothing flashy, as we can’t risk separation, and keep close in-field as much as possible.”

“Esme, please play in my place,” Edward asked, and his mother nodded. She gently squeezed my shoulder before they all dispersed across the field. “Bel, stay as close to me as possible, try to be still as you can, and try to be as quiet.”

They all looked on edge, ready to spring, and were more focused on the edges of the clearing than anything else.

None looked as tense as Edward did, though.

Seconds stretched out endlessly, and, for the first time since learning about vampires, I had been afraid.

Edward stepped closer in front of me, eyes intently focused on the right side of the clearing. His family looked that way too, and I tried to follow Edward’s instructions of becoming less appealing.

They stepped out of the woodwork one at a time, spaced rather widely apart.

I saw that there was an average looking white man, his sandy hair pulled back. He stopped walking a moment to allow a Black man―wearing an open jacket with no shirt beneath to show off his muscled torso―take the lead; he had long dreadlocks that fell past his shoulders. Lastly, there was a tall white woman with wild, long, curly hair that was fire-orange.

While they each had different prescences, I was extremely wary of their every move.

As they moved quickly towards second base, I saw that they had odd, cat-like gaits and postures. They were barefoot, and had normal, sturdy clothes that were frayed with wear and tear, lightly covered in forest debris. The woman was especially cat-like, eyes flicking and scanning each new face in a cycle, and her hair had collected any number of twigs and leaves.

Once they were still, they stood upright, quietly taking in the sight before them.

Their eyes were blood red.

— • —

Carlisle languidly walked forward, arms held up non-threateningly. Emmett and Jasper flanked him, and the rest of the Cullens moved a little forward, too, each subtly blocking me from view.

I was a little pleased to know that the men were dwarfed in mass by Emmett, and were closer to Carlisle and Jasper’s physique, maybe. The woman was about Rosalie’s size, though I couldn’t tell how either would fare in a fight, if it came to it.

I desperately hoped that it wouldn’t.

The newcomers looked friendly enough, as in they wouldn’t needlessly start a fight out of nowhere. The men were smiling, though the average man looked more haughty than welcoming. The muscular man was the most beautiful vampire of the three, and had the most approachable presence. The woman’s eyes didn’t stop moving over each face.

“We thought we heard something of interest,” said the beautiful man with an easy smile. He had a faint accent that I thought sounded French. “I am Laurent, and these are James and Victoria.” The other man and woman exchanged a look, and I wondered if there was something going on between them.

“I’m Carlisle. This is my family, Emmett and Jasper, Esme, Edward, Rosalie, Alice, and Bel.” I noticed that he only gestured to Emmett and Jasper after naming them, and didn’t call out any individual. I was also surprised to be included as a family member, but it made sense in trying to shield me from the non-vegheads’ attention.

“ _And this is Bel, our human friend” didn’t exactly have a nice ring to it._

“Do you have room for a few more players?” Laurent asked amicably after taking note of the baseball gear.

Carlisle chuckled softly, and said, “My apologies, friend. My family and I were just finishing up our game. Perhaps we can play in the future!” Carlisle sounded as sociable as Laurent, as if they were old friends that ran into another by chance. “How long will you be in the area?”

“We’re heading north,” Laurent said, “but we curiously came to see who was nearby. We haven’t met any other company in quite some time.”

“This region is mostly empty, except for us and the rare visitor much like yourselves.” These new vampires seemed to be quite at ease compared to their arrival, and I had to guess that Jasper was using his ability.

“I see. What’s your hunting range?” Laurent asked conversationally, and I repressed a shudder at the implication. Surely, they saw the golden eyes of the Cullens. But would they know what that meant?

Carlisle went on to describe the area surrounding Forks, surprising me by including the La Push area, too. I quickly figured that it was to protect the humans there, and was grateful for it. “We keep a permanent residence nearby, and there is another like ours up in Denali.”

Victoria and James exchanged another look as Laurent curiously said, “Permanent? How do you manage that?”

Carlisle smiled. “It’s a long story.” He then went on to invite Laurent and his coven back to their home, and I momentarily had to question Carlisle’s sanity.

Not only was my scent in the air, but it was definitely in their house too! Wouldn’t these vampires smell me there, and, if I appealed to their palates, be next on the menu?

Even worse than his invitation was Laurent’s acceptance of the offer. Carlisle then went on to ask that they not hunt in the Cullens’ range, as they had to keep up appearances to the human population.

“Of course,” Laurent said, nodding. “We had just recently eaten, ourselves.”

What did they mean, exactly? How do normal vampires usually eat? Do they just take enough to sate their thirst, was that something the media got right? Or did they drain them of blood entirely?

That was when I had to tune out of the conversation, just for my own sake. I vaguely heard Carlisle’s voice, but didn’t hear his words.

Instead, I focused on the wind that suddenly picked up, coming from directly behind and towards the noses of every vampire in front of me.

In an instant, Edward stiffened beside me and James had honed in on me, nostrils flared as he took a step forward into a crouch. Edward did the same, bared his teeth, and a monstrous snarl ripped from his throat. That alone was terrifying, but so was the immediate danger I was now in.

_Oh fuck, this is it. I’m going to die, or one of the Cullens will. Oh_ fuck _, Edward could die, no!! If any of them dies trying to defend me, the Cullens will still suffer a loss no matter what,_ no _!!_

Everyone was tense again, rigidly so.

The Cullens had become defensive immediately, their friendly demeanor and expressions hardening up at the hostility James displayed and didn’t back down from. Victoria’s eyes stopped moving, settling on James entirely.

“What’s this?” Laurent exclaimed calmly, eyes still on me. I thought that he looked too interested in me, though clearly not as interested as James was.

“He’s with us,” Carlisle said, more for James than Laurent.

“You brought a snack?” Laurent asked amusedly, taking a curious step forward. Edward snarled at Laurent too, all his teeth on display, hands curled up like claws or talons.

“I _said_ he’s with _us_ ,” Carlisle said, his tone hard and commanding. I’d never heard Carlisle sound so much as frustrated, let alone in the vicinity of intimidating.

“But he’s _human_ ,” Laurent protested, sounding gobsmacked more than anything else. He still didn’t call James off or anything, and Emmett shifted a little into James’s line of sight. That was when he slowly stood up, eyes trained exclusively on me. Edward hadn’t moved at all.

“It seems that we’ve much to learn about one another,” Laurent said quietly, trying to deescalate the situation.

“Indeed,” Carlisle said curtly.

“We would still like to accept your invitation, if allowed,” Laurent said, eyes flicking to me and back to Carlisle. “And we will not harm the human boy, as we will not hunt in your range.”

James looked to Laurent with exasperated disbelief, and looked to Victoria instead. She went back to scanning every face before her.

Carlisle examined Laurent’s expression before saying, “We’ll show you the way. Esme, Jasper, Rosalie?” They stepped forward in a line, blocking me from view. Alice appeared instantly at my side, and Emmett reluctantly backed away towards us. Edward gently and quickly picked me up, and soon the four of us were flying through the forest.

We must’ve gotten to the Jeep in record time, even for vampires. Edward carefully placed me in the backseat, instructed Emmett to strap me in, and with Alice already at shotgun, we were bounding down the road.

“Edward, where are we going?” I asked, my voice incredibly small. I had continually focused on my breathing, as I didn’t want to trigger an asthma attack. That was the last thing we needed, me being unable to breathe.

_Deep inhale through your nose, slow exhale out your mouth..._

“Away,” he said in a clipped tone. “I need to get you as far from here as possible, as James fully intends to hunt you despite Laurent’s promise. He’s a tracker.”

Emmett stiffened beside me at the word, though I had no idea what it meant.

“What? No! I can’t just leave Forks without warning, what about my dad?!” _Oh, fuck._ “My dad!! If James is going to hunt me down, my scent will lead him right back to Charlie! I can’t put him at risk like this, I _can’t_ leave Forks like this, Edward!!”

“Bel, you have to understand,” Edward said in exasperation. “He has a power, a gift. Hunting is his absolute obsession, and we’ve just provided him the most exquisite game for him to play. An entire coven bent on protecting his prized human.” He growled those last two words contemptuously. “He’s entirely fixed on you and your blood, Bel, and he won’t rest until he has you.”

“Then why are you taking me away, if he can find me anyways?” I countered. “My _dad_ is in danger now, and if you think I’m going to quietly go with you without ensuring that he is safe, then you are _majorly_ mistaken, Edward!!”

“Edward, he’s no match for us,” Emmett said, sounding immensely pleased at the prospect of a fight.

“Don’t start, Emmett,” Edward snapped. “If it comes to a fight, Victoria will join her mate, and Laurent will join if they both decide to fight.”

“What do those three vampires got against our seven?”

“Shut up, Emmett!”

Edward didn’t slow down, gunning the engine so that the speedometer rose above 100.

“Edward, please!” I begged, sounding damn near tears. “I don't want a fight to happen either, because you risk losing any of your family in the process, even if you do win! And I can’t just live the rest of my life on the run from a vampire! Charlie will want to find me and he’d tell Renée, they’ll involve the authorities, and all roads _will_ lead back to you and your family!!”

“He won’t attack Bel unless he’s alone,” Alice chimed in.

“It won’t take him long to realize that isn’t going to happen,” Edward growled.

“So you’ll risk my dad and any other human who has my scent on them?! Edward, _no_ , you _can’t_ , I thought you wanted to protect humans, not have them be casualties just to protect me!”

“He’s right, Edward,” Alice said more quietly. Edward growled again, thought it seemed a touch more desperate.

The fact the speedometer went from 121 to 119 was a good sign, in my opinion.

“Pull over, Edward, we need to plan for the immediate future.” Alice spoke calmly, her voice full of authority.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Oh dear. A cliffhanger. I didn't exactly intend for this, but alas...


	10. Oh, To Be Human...

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Bel finds himself in danger of being hunted by James. He's worried about himself, Charlie, and his friends. He's also worried about the Cullens, and, of course, Edward.
> 
> What's a human to do?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I feel like I have to be honest with you all. I'm not the kind of writer that plans things out ahead of time and writes accordingly. I've never been that way, academically or for fun; I still managed to get very good grades on my essays, though! X'D
> 
> I apologize if things seem perhaps confusing or something. I'm learning and writing as I go, unplanned and off the cuff. Still, we're almost done with what is be the first Twilight book! :D

The Jeep slowed fractionally, but we were still speeding down the road. The rain gradually picked up the further we drove, and Edward’s driving was, more than before, concerning. Still, he was in complete control of the car, and I hoped that meant more than I could see.

“Edward, pull over, please.” I begged in a whisper, my heart thundering in my ears.

With a muffled groan of exasperation, Edward slowed the car down enough to pull over to the side of the road, and we came to a complete stop.

This allowed me to get my breathing under control, and it took me a few minutes to do so. While that was happening, the three of them were speaking too fast for me to comprehend. I was only slightly irritated at not being included.

“Can the human also know what’s currently being discussed?” I asked quietly.

“Ah, sorry, Bel,” Alice said. “We were talking strategies.”

“I say we just kill James,” Emmett said simply.

“If we do that, Victoria will avenge him, she’s his mate,” Edward said.

I recently learned that vampires basically have soulmates, and bond to their beloved for the rest of their existence. The Cullens had all confirmed that they knew of no vampire that had found another mate after losing their one and only.

It was also brought to my attention that each of the other Cullens have found their perfect match in their respective partners, and have all legally married their partner at least once. Rosalie and Emmett have had the most weddings, with three under their belts.

And yes, I did my best to not think of the implications of where that left Edward and I, all things considered.

“Laurent will also join the fight, if his covenmates fight,” Alice added, sounding certain in her assessment.

“Yes, he will,” Edward bitterly agreed. “James is the coven leader, after all. Laurent is merely a front.”

“Huh, interesting,” Emmett commented lightly. “Doesn’t mean shit in the end, though. They’re going down.”

“Emmett, I appreciate your enthusiasm, but let’s save killing them for a last resort,” Alice suggested, though she clearly meant it.

“James is the biggest threat, and Victoria is second,” Edward said icily. “Carlisle and Esme won’t approve of it, but I am completely in favor of killing James if needed. I don't want him anywhere _near_ Bel.”

While I was mostly shocked at what I was hearing, there was easily a small part that was also feeling so safe and protected. At the same time, I couldn't be too upset if any of these red-eyed vamps had to die.

The humans they fed on didn't want to die, I'd bet.

I couldn't swallow the lump in my throat, but I just had to speak up.

“I-If James is that serious,” I whispered, “then we have to make sure that my dad is also protected until James is...resolved. Please. I-I can't bring Charlie into your world…”

There was a price to pay as a human in the know, and I unfortunately remembered learning it.

— • —

It was the day after I first met the Cullens, February 11th and a Friday. I had to call Jake and tell him I wouldn’t be able to participate in Black Friday that week.

Told him that I’d make up a visit the following week. I was still reeling from all that I'd learned about vampires in the past 24 hours. But there was still more to know.

That day, Edward had taken me to his family’s house to discuss something that I needed to know, and that naturally spiked my anxiety. There was then the matter of my death sentence, a matter in which I had my own stake in.

How I fucking wished I was kidding about that, too.

Apparently, vampirekind weren’t just lawless people. I speculated that there was some kind of police force or lawmakers that made sure vampires stayed in line, though I doubt they had something like a military ready to fly out at a moment’s notice. That’d be counterintuitive to keeping the secret.

In a way, Carlisle said my guess was right.

_The_ _Volturi_.

They were an ancient coven of vampires that called Volterra, Italy their home. While the coven itself was the largest in recorded vampire history, the main players were named Aro, Marcus, and Caius. Sulpicia and Athenodora, Aro and Caius’s wives respectively, made up the quintet of the Volturi coven, and Aro created them all.

This coven was absolute in upholding their laws.

Having become feared over the centuries, no vampire in the world dared to disobey the Volturi. Mercy was rarely, if ever, an offered gift under their leadership, and punishment generally ended in the destruction of a criminal vampire.

“A primary law of keeping the secret,” Carlisle explained, “breaks down into many facets. One of the most important ones is that any human that discovers our existence and threatens it will face judgement of the Volturi. And this judgement usually ends in one of two ways.”

“Do I want to know what those are?” I weakly asked. Edward, sitting beside me on their couch, gently squeezed my knee and nodded.

“Go on, then,” I said hesitantly.

Carlisle’s face expressed apology, resignation, and sympathy. “They are to either become immortal or face execution.”

In that precise moment, I felt a piece of myself deeply fracture, the cracks spiderwebbing out far and wide. I knew at once what he was telling me, and I admittedly became a little numb after that.

“So,” I said lamely when I found my voice again. “That’s it for me, then? Join your family or die at the hands of these Volturi?” I didn’t speak accusingly, as I was merely stating the facts for my own clarity.

“Yes,” Edward said gently, regrettably. “The positive thing to remind ourselves is that we have no reason to be on the Volturi’s radar. Our corner of the world has remained unbothered by their might for as long as we’ve been here, and that isn’t going to change anytime soon. You will have plenty of time to decide on anything, years if you’d like.”

I couldn’t help but feel that he was trying to placate me while addressing his family at large.

To me, Edward said, “It doesn’t excuse my thoughtlessness for choosing to bring you into my world, and I am infinitely so sorry for condemning you to our fate. But at the same time, we have no reason to provoke the Volturi in any way and alert them to you, Bel, I promise you this.”

“Yes, that is most certainly true,” Carlisle said with a reluctant edge to his voice. “They have largely operated this way, acting only when absolutely necessary, since even before my brief time in their company.”

He went on to explain that he spent two decades living with them back in the early 1700s, but he didn’t become an active member of their coven. Aro had tried to convert Carlisle to their natural diet, he tried to convert them to a vegetarian diet, and neither had made any strides in this endeavor.

Eventually, Carlisle chose to leave after seeing their ideologies as vampires would never line up with his, amongst other reasons.

“Aro, Marcus, and Caius rarely ever leave Volterra, and their wives never leave their castle at all,” Carlisle said.

“They send members of their guard to do the dirty work,” Edward elaborated, and went on to inform me that their guard, a small but thoroughly capable military force of sorts, consisted of mostly vampires with extremely useful or rare gifts. He said that the gifts he and Alice possess are two that Aro deeply desires to acquire for his use.

“Not that we’d ever accept his supposed invitations,” Alice said with an eyeroll.

“Aro thinks himself a collector,” Edward said. “Wealth, power, rarities unlike anything else. Vampire gifts are his specialty collection, as it is.”

All of this was overwhelming to process right then and there, and, while I appreciated all this info, I needed to reign the conversation back a bit.

“Back to the part about my mortality, please,” I said a little dryly. “So, simply because I now know about what you are, I’m subject to being placed in vampire court to choose between my human life and immediate execution or choosing blood for the rest of my existence?”

“When you put it like that, it sounds bad,” Emmett said sadly. Alice smacked the back of his head, and I was glad that it made me laugh.

After that, we discussed what that meant in more depth. But ultimately, that was exactly the case. Carlisle and Edward both went on to break down the likelihood of the Volturi ever catching wind of my humanity in the company of the Cullens, and I was somewhat reassured.

For extra measure, Alice said that she would see if the Volturi decided to do anything in relation to her family, and they could make any necessary plans around that decision. For now, I was definitely safe from that judgement call.

Edward went on to tell me that, for vampires in general, time was marked differently.

Days for humans might as well have been seconds to vampires. And given how the Volturi were genuinely so incredibly ancient, time was a trifle to their collective thought process. The chances of my meeting them, human or not, could be after a century had passed.

By then, my body would have either returned to nature or turned to stone in glittery immortality. And by the point of the latter, I’d be safe.

That being said, Carlisle emphasized that the decision to become a vampire was strictly my own. That it was a luxury that neither he nor his family had before they were turned, even if Carlisle had saved their lives as humans when he turned them.

That nuance didn’t escape my notice, and stuck with me from that point on.

— • —

I was brought back to the present moment, back in Emmett’s Jeep while he, Alice, and Edward contemplated on how to best protect me.

With this immediate threat on the horizon, it seemed obvious what should be done.

“If...if it means saving my dad,” I said to the quiet of the car. “Maybe I should be turned after all.” It sounded like a question even to my own ears, but I couldn’t focus on that.

What I instead focused on was Edward’s swift, fiercely uttered, “ _No_ , Bel.” His eyes found mine in the rearview mirror, and they held firm resolve. “We can protect you from James _without_ taking your human life. We would much rather your choice be made from your own desire, and not from being in danger.”

“If it means that my dad is kept safe, I’m pretty much down for anything right now!”

“Bel, while in some ways you have a point, you’d be more of a burden as a buddening newborn,” Alice interjected kindly.

She was right, reluctantly.

Some time shortly after I was told about the gag order to turn or kill any human who learned about vampires, I asked what the transformation process consisted of.

Edward unwillingly told me that it took roughly three days after getting vampire venom into a human’s system. Three long, torturous days of the venom slowly spreading through their body, _painfully_ ending all vital function, while fortifying and remaking it to become living-yet-dead stone.

All of the Cullens conceded that their transformations were, without a doubt, _the_ most painful thing that they experienced in their entire lives. While their human memories were murky at best, the pain of the transformation was the one thing that remained with perfect clarity.

Three days of feeling like you’re being burned alive from the inside out, with no way to alleviate that pain.

“Okay, so, no vampirism for me in the immediate future against James, then,” I said in a huff. “Then what the hell can we do?”

“Regarding Charlie, we can keep watch of him wherever he is,” Edward said quietly, though his voice still had a hard edge to it. “Take shifts to ensure that he’s safe while also keeping diligent eyes and ears for traces of James or Victoria.”

“Maybe we can trap James, take him out real quick,” Emmett offered. “Then take out Victoria, since she’ll most likely want vengeance for her mate.”

That made me shudder.

One thing that has been made abundantly clear? Vampires tend to feel emotions in the extreme.

Marcus, one of the Volturi leaders, had been in perpetual mourning and numbness since losing his mate, Didyme. He’s been apathetic and uncaring for hundreds of years since she was killed, according to Carlisle.

The Denali sisters―Kate, Tanya and Irina of the Denali coven―had been in enraged mourning ever since the Volturi killed their creator and vampiric mother, Sasha, due to her committing a terrible crime. The sisters had absolutely loathed and feared the Volturi ever since.

I could only imagine what either James or Victoria would feel towards the Cullens (and me) if either one were to die at the hands of my vampires.

“James and Victoria plan to stick around,” Alice said suddenly at the exact same time that Edward growled; I guessed he saw her vision as she had it. “Laurent aims to visit Denali.”

“Let’s get Bel back home,” Edward said as he kicked the car back into motion. “We have to make sure that the next two days go as smoothly as could be, for Charlie’s sake.”

“Two days?” I asked, worried in a heartbeat. “What’s in the next two days?”

“Your birthday, Bel,” Alice said gently, turned around in her seat to look at me with a worried look. “I’m not going to spoil it, but your dad is very excited for Tuesday.”

_My birthday? Who the fuck cares about my birthday right now?!_

— • —

We had stopped just a ways off from my house, hopefully out of Charlie’s sight if he was near a window. I was still too emotionally frazzled to just calmly step inside my house, and needed to gather myself.

Emmett and Alice had hopped out the moment the car stopped to do a perimeter search.

While I stared blankly out the window, Edward slid into the backseat with me, putting an arm around my shoulders. I leaned into his touch right away, and I took a deep, steadying breath.

“How is it that you smell so nice without needing cologne?” I asked, my voice especially quiet. “That was rhetorical, by the way. I know the answer.”

I felt his chuckle vibrate against me, and was relieved by the sound. Comedy was a definite coping mechanism for me, and _boy_ , did I need a good laugh.

“I am so sorry for exposing you like this, Bel,” Edward whispered back. “For putting you in danger’s path to _this_ degree. But I will do all in my power to keep you safe. You and your father both, Bel. I swear it.”

He had said as much before, but I appreciated hearing it once more. I believed and trusted him.

“It’s not your fault, Edward. It’s not even my fault for my blood being so damn appealing, apparently.” I sounded pathetic to my own ears, I’ve no idea how Edward wasn’t laughing at me. _I_ wanted to laugh at myself, except I was too scared.

After another laugh, Edward said, “How is it that you’re cheering me up without trying, when I was trying to cheer you up as best as I could?”

“The duality of man, I guess.” I managed to smile a bit, and I counted that as a win. I sat up a bit more to look at him, and said, “Still, I thank you for the effort. Even if it didn’t go so well on your end.”

He glared playfully, but said no more. Instead, he leaned over to kiss my forehead.

“Smartass,” he said with a smirk as he pulled back. “Come on. Let’s get you inside, shall we?”

After hopping back in the front and driving the little ways to my house, he escorted me inside. In all the chaos, I wasn’t at all aware of the time up until I went into the kitchen and checked the clock.

“Holy shit, how is it already eight?” I exclaimed mostly to myself, and sighed. “The trauma, I guess.”

Edward snorted, shaking his head. He stepped closer to bring me into a hug, and I would’ve hugged back if my arms weren’t trapped beneath his.

“Your father is getting out of bed. As I need to take the Jeep home. Alice and Emmett will remain here to keep watch, and I’ll be back later tonight,” he quickly whispered in my ear, pulled away after kissing my cheek, and then I was alone in the kitchen.

As I heard the Jeep pull away from the house, I heard Charlie’s door open upstairs. Seconds later, I heard, “You home, kid?”

“Yeah, Dad!” I called out. “Just getting a snack or something!”

“There’s pizza and breadsticks in the oven! Feel free to down ‘em all! I’m gonna turn in! Sleep well, Bels!”

“Neat! Thanks! Good night!” His door closed, and I sighed. Now that I was without the shield of my vampire friends and boyfriend, I felt those cracks from earlier become more prominent. I withdrew both the pizza and breadstick boxes from the oven, and zipped right up to my room with them.

I set the boxes down on my bed, and I went right to my window to lock it and close the curtains. That was when I turned on the light, to at least let Edward know that I was awake.

_Not that this could stop James anyways, but it’s the comfort that mattered most._

“Alice, Emmett, if you can hear me...thank you,” I said at normal volume. I didn’t know if they could, but again, the comfort. It was more for me than anything else.

Speaking of comfort, I needed some music, so I went through my small CD collection in the top drawer of my bedside dresser, and naturally produced the first Spice Girls album. Once it was popped into my CD player with the volume low, I flopped on my bed and started on the pizza.

“There really is nothing like room temp pizza,” I said to myself through a mouthful of food. I also inwardly blessed my dad for thinking of me with this pie; it was topped with pepperoni, chicken, and pineapple. “Feast of a king, I swear.”

No less than four slices and two songs later did I hear an unusual sound, and, in milliseconds of hearing it, I went dead-still. Which was consequently the fear of what I’d be when I heard the sound a second time, and my eyes flashed to my window.

It sounded like something was tapping the glass beyond the curtain.

I was too scared to go check, but with the third plink in under a minute, curiosity had me. I set the pizza slice I held back into the box, and slowly creeped over to the curtains and pulled them back just enough.

“Bel! May I come in?”

I gasped perhaps too loudly and jumped at the muffled voice, and I would’ve fallen to the floor in relief, but that would’ve hurt my knees. The curtains were pushed aside, the window was unlocked and opened, and I stepped back.

Seconds later, Edward gracefully leaped into my room and was standing at his full height, smiling. It didn’t really touch his eyes, though.

“Am I interrupting anything?” His voice was quiet and undeniably amused. His eyes flicked to my bed and CD player before returning back to my face. “I apologize for scaring you. I was throwing pebbles, as I didn’t think leaping to knock at your window would’ve been welcome.”

“It’s okay,” I said, inhaling deeply, exhaling slowly. “My lungs are still intact, at least.”

That made Edward’s smile more genuine. “Small miracles. Please, don’t let me keep you from your dinner.” He closed my window, locked it, and drew the curtains closed again.

“Feel free to grab a seat,” I said as I sat cross-legged on my bed, and resumed eating with a residual tension. Edward thanked me, and occupied my desk chair.

“Bel, what are you feeling and thinking?” Edward asked seriously after a charged pause.

Honestly, I considered telling a joke or being sarcastic, but my true emotions wouldn’t let me. I set down the crust I had been working on finishing, feeling my appetite slip away, and I closed the box.

“Well. I really thought you were James just now. If you were, I wouldn’t be here right now. Maybe. And it goes without saying that I’m fucking terrified for my life. And for my dad’s. For yours, for your family. For my friends, for _all_ the humans that are subject to the teeth of those three right now…”

One moment I was alone on my bed, and in the next, Edward was sitting across from me, having placed the boxes of food on my desk; it happened so quickly. He gently held my face in his hands, wiping unexpected tears away with his thumbs. I relished his cool touch to my warm face.

“I feel like a windshield with the wipers on,” I said with a sad chuckle. “And you’re the wipers.”

_Couldn’t resist one joke._

“You are stretching your heart so widely with worry,” he commented gently. “How admirable of you, Bel. If I may try and relieve you of some of that worry…?”

“Only if you would please hand me my box of tissues,” I said with an attempt of a smile. He complied, and I turned away to blow my nose, tossing the tissue in my trash can. I missed, and commented that I’d get that later.

“Thanks. You may attempt to relieve my worry.” Edward bit his lip in an effort to hide a smile, but he failed.

“While I can’t erase all of your worries,” he said slowly. “I hope that I can at least ease your worries about my family and myself.” I met his eyes, reached out to hold one of his hands in both of mine, and nodded for him to continue. “My family and I are formidable fighters, should it come down to it. Know that Carlisle and Esme are right there with you in hoping for a peaceful end to this saga. Still, we have to be practical.”

I knew he was right, but it still saddened me. I didn’t say anything.

“Emmett did have a point in the pure numbers, our seven against their three. Plus, we have him, our strongest physical fighter, as well as Alice and her future sight. Jasper, with his vast experience fighting vampires. And myself, with my speed and my gift.

“We stand an immense chance in a confrontation against just three vampires with no other noted gifts or allies,” Edward concluded, sounding so immensely confident. I was absently playing with his fingers, puppeteering them with mine as the strings.

I pouted, but I truly _was_ relieved of a significant portion of my stress and worry. I was still scared, but it was less staring down a tidal wave and more of walking through a clump of seaweed. Noticeable, gross to all hell, but tolerable compared to the tidal wave.

With a heavy sigh, I said, “Okay, okay… I’m significantly calmer now. Definitely. Calm enough to finish my dinner, too.”

Edward glanced over at the boxes, and made a face. I laughed, patting his hand. “I’d offer you some, but my stomach might appreciate it more than yours.” More seriously, I added, “Still, thank you. I’m extremely glad that you’re here right now.”

He apparently had no words for that right away, though his eyes did take on a lovey-gooey quality, and he flashed his signature smile to boot.

“I’m more than happy to be here for you, Bel,” Edward whispered happily, and that alone warmed up my heart; the moths fluttered lovingly in my ribs. Then, he gently said, “I hope this isn’t too forward, Bel, but...b-but may I kiss you?”

_No way in hell was I expecting that!!_

Where my brain failed to provide a verbal response, it had enough sense to nod my head, as well as to be pleased to know that Edward sounded nervous asking that. It was reassuring.

Ever so shyly, Edward carefully took my face into his cool hands, and that was when my eyes closed. I felt his lips press against mine, and that was all I knew.

If I died from kissing Edward, I figured it’d be a worthwhile way to go.

— • —

Edward stayed with me as I fell asleep, and when morning came, my alarm woke me up to an empty room and a note placed next to my pillow.

It read, in his most elegant handwriting, “ _I went home briefly to go change clothes and to get my car. Esme and Jasper are watching out for you until my return. See you soon._ ”

“How sweet,” I groggily said with a sleep-dopey smile. And while I wanted to go right back to dreamland, I somehow managed to get my ass out of bed, get cleaned up and changed, and even secured a lazy breakfast of pop tarts _and_ cereal.

Almost as soon as I had finished washing my cereal bowl, the doorbell rang, and I couldn’t help but be excited. As Charlie was already gone, I let myself fly over to open the door, and my already-big-smile grew even more at who was standing on the other side

“Good morning, Bel,” Edward said, also grinning.

“Backatcha, Edward,” I said breathlessly.

“Smooth,” he replied with a snort and a roll of his eyes. “Are you ready to head to school, even at the risk of being early?”

“Almost. Give me a few minutes." Edward nodded, and I nearly ran up the stairs to brush my teeth and snag my school bag from my room.

On the drive to school, I figured I would just ask the awful question that had been in the back of mind. “So, what exactly is the plan about James..?”

Edward’s hands tightened on the wheel, and his mouth became a hard line. “While I’d prefer to kill James and be done with it, Carlisle thinks otherwise. I appreciate his desire for peace, but James, and his mate should he die, won’t settle for it.”

“I thought as much,” I said quietly.

“Plus, Carlisle would like to include you in further discussion about this topic. As do I, of course, though Carlisle made it a point with our family earlier this evening.”

“Oh! He did?”

“You sound surprised,” Edward mused, his mouth loosening up a bit for a tiny smile.

“Well, yeah, I am. I mean. I just...didn’t expect to be included at all in this conversation, if I’m being honest. Which isn’t a bad thing, it’s kinda neat, but. I’m just a human that can’t do anything, really. If that makes any sense…?”

“It does. But to clarify, you weren’t thinking about being an equal voice in this matter and for not being able to fight?”

“Yeah, that about sums it up.” Edward nodded, pursing his lips.

“Would you like to know something important, Bel?” By this time, we had made it to the school, and Edward had pulled into my usual parking spot. There were few other cars in the largely empty lot, and for once, I was fine with that.

“Okay, shoot,” I said, unbuckling myself and turning in my seat to face him fully, a leg tucked under me. I leaned back against the door to be more comfortable.

“Carlisle values your opinion highly, Bel,” Edward said, getting as comfortable as the steering wheel would allow. “Not just because you’re my boyfriend, either, though that is a definite factor. No, the moment I had told my family of our buddening friendship, and I was given permission to give you hints about us, Carlisle truly took that to heart.”

“Took what to heart, exactly?”

“The fact that I had made a friend with a human at all,” Edward said, chuckling. “We do our best to not socialize, as you know. For good reason, such as the risk of the human’s safety. Though that was initially meant for my family possibly...slipping up, it now applies to this circumstance involving James and yourself.”

“Huh." That stumped me a little. "That’s kind of...sweet to know. That Carlisle valued your friendship with me, despite the risks.” I chewed on that a bit before adding, “I hope that didn’t cause too much discord in your family.”

Edward shook his head. “That’s irrelevant. What mattered most to Carlisle―and Esme, I should add―was the fact that...well, befriending you made me genuinely happy.”

That caught my attention.

“Really…?” I tried to keep my tone to sound genuinely intrigued instead of condescending or something. I really was surprised to know that.

Edward nodded, a touch sheepish. “My parents had long been concerned that I was lacking in companionship.” He paused, looking unexpectedly introspective, and said, “Looking back on my life with my family, I suppose I was. They each had a partner to turn to for anything, and I was the odd man out.

“Even if we had remained friends only, meeting you and getting to know you has made me the happiest I’ve been in my eighty-seven years as a permanent teenager, Bel. Truly.” His smile was what Charlie would call a sunrise smile. A smile that was as bright as the rising sun.

I became bashful at his clear honesty, didn’t know what to say, and he leaned over to kiss my nose. We stayed in the car, chatting about anything and everything as the parking lot filled up. When the bell rang, we made our way to our first classes of the day.

In English, I was thinking back to before I was really talking to Edward. He was a bit of a grumpy lone wolf when contrasted to his adoptive siblings, paired off and in love.

_Holy shit, did that mean Edward was_ in love _with me…?_

That was a thought I quickly compartmentalized in a box and shoved into a corner of my mind. That was a thought for Future Bel, not for Present Bel.

It was _way_ too damn soon to be thinking about _that_ , thank you very much.

— • —

My school day was rather uneventful, all things considered. Not much happened after school, as Edward and Carlisle had insisted I not do anything risky.

It was bad enough Charlie was at risk for living with me. I didn’t want to further endanger my human friends by associating with them while James was alive. Anglea was saddened by this, as she had wanted to do something today after school for my birthday, but I had to refuse.

During lunch, I merely told her that I didn’t get much sleep, and that Edward was going to take me home after class. Mentioning Edward was both the wrong and right thing to say.

Wrong for me, because it meant my friends would hound me about Edward; right for them, because it meant they _had_ a reason to hound me about Edward.

“Sooo, _Edward_ , huh?” Jessica had said in a stage whisper as she leaned on the lunch table across from me, lifting her eyebrows and smirking at me. My eyes slipped into a glare right away, and I felt my face burn up.

_Whatever you do, Bel, do_ not _look at their table. You_ will _regret it._

To my right, Angela gently nudged me with an elbow, leaning against my arm to give me puppy dog eyes. Even Eric threw me a wink after glancing over at the Cullens’ table

I groaned, keeping my eyes to the table. “Okay, _okay_ , quit it, you vultures.” They all laughed, save Mike and Lauren; I didn’t pay them any mind. “ _Yes_ , Edward and I are dating, okay? It’s not that big a―”

Jessica literally squealed in delight, and Angela was giggling way more than expected. Eric was just throwing finger guns and loud kisses at me, and that made mostly everyone laugh.

“You guys are so awful,” I said, chuckling still.

“Maybe, but you love us,” Eric said, smiling sweetly.

“I mean, do I though…?”

That had Jessica and Eric gasp indignantly, and Angela feigned a heartbroken expression. The three of them proceeded to grill me for as many details as they could get from me, Jessica and Eric especially, and I was just grateful there wasn’t much to say.

They got a kick out of my extremely slow realization about technically dating Edward for a month, and Angela just gave me a smug look; she was the first to speculate to me that we were dating, after all.

All the while, Mike and Lauren looked so put off by the conversation.

Lauren had Tyler to distract her, at least, so she didn’t say much about anything (at least, nothing I heard). Mike, though, was clearly displeased, and I was extremely grateful he didn’t say anything.

I told myself that I probably made a wise choice in distancing myself from Mike. It sucked, in a way, especially after he confided in me about his bisexuality. Still, he clearly had some things to work out on his own before I could count him as a friend.

Lunch ended, and so ended my request to Edward (and Alice) about letting me hang with my human friends for lunch. I just...needed some ordinary, non-vampire worries or dangers, is all. Regular, mundane, and silly human time for myself, at school, with my mortal friends.

Tomorrow, they’d join the human table so that I could spend my birthday with all the people that I was close with.

Edward walked over at a quick human pace to escort me to bio, and Angela happily came with us. Jessica wasn’t able to form words once she saw Edward wrap an arm around my waist, and scurried off to her next class.

“You looked like you all were having a fun conversation, Angela,” Edward had observed with an interested smile. “Your table was certainly lively, Jessica especially.” He of course heard everything, and I couldn’t believe that he was trying to pump her for info.

What a dork.

“Oh, ya know,” she said with a shy laugh, giving me a pointed glance. “We were just catching up, is all.”

I tried to gently elbow Edward, and I might as well have elbowed a wall for all it did me. I hoped I wouldn’t bruise there, as elbows had so much movement going on for them. Edward just grinned at me and winked.

Biology came and went, and Edward walked me to the gym.

He briefly kissed me a few yards from the locker room, and we got some wolf whistles for it. I quickly hurried to go change after that, Edward’s amused laughter in my ears. The casual teasing continued from the boys nearest my locker as I changed, and I was pleasantly surprised that I received no malicious treatment.

Small miracles, bigger silver linings.

Mike didn’t really play with me anymore, and badminton was a little less amusing without him. I imagined he wouldn’t be playing with me in future sports, either.

Oh well, I guess.

After gym, I took a brief detour to my locker, and Edward was already there, patiently leaning back against the nearest wall with a lovely smile just for me. He walked over to stand beside me as I rummaged through my locker, putting stuff away and taking out what was needed.

“See, Bel,” he casually said. “The world isn’t over, now that the whole school knows about us.” I glanced at him with a quirked eyebrow, a silent question in my eyes. “Okay, so, there has been some unkind chatter. But those voices are irrelevant at the end of the day, aren’t they?”

“Hmm. I guess so,” I conceded, closing my locker to look at him fully. “Especially if those voices haven’t actually said anything out loud. Within _my_ earshot,” I amended, seeing that Edward was about to say something.

“Touché, Mr. Swan,” he said, grinning. “Are you ready to go?”

“Yeah, let’s go.”

Hand in hand, we walked to the parking lot to his car, and I did my best to ignore some of the stares we got. I supposed I then knew what it was like in the movies, for a popular kid to date someone who wasn’t popular. Which was such a stupid film trope anyways, but it was my only point of reference.

It was only a little odd, having Edward in my house during the daylight. Especially after occasionally having him sneak into my room after my dad went to sleep. And now he was my boyfriend, which itself was a whole other nuance.

_My vampire boyfriend, no less._

While Charlie had told me that Edward was free to come by and spend time with me at home, I still felt a little guilty. He was already doing that, even when we were just friends. Not often, but still. Charlie hadn’t known, he still doesn’t, and that was the crux of the matter.

But after tackling my homework at the kitchen table, with Edward helping me out whenever needed, that guilt was pushed back into the mental drawer it came from.

I reminded myself that, prior to the other day, Edward was just taking extra effort to spend time with me. It was also worth noting that he wasn’t hopping into my room every night or even every other night. Just on the occasion, really, once or twice during the school week.

And that was when I realized that Edward had probably liked me as more than a friend for a little while, even before I took to scheduling my social life.

_God, you’re so fucking dense, Bel. What’s wrong with you?_

“What are you laughing about?” Edward asked, interrupting my thoughts. When I looked up at him, he had an amused and curious expression on.

I set my pencil down and pushed my math book away for the moment. I needed a break from all the mathematical bullshit I was enduring.

“A question that I have for you, really,” I said, trying for a tone of mystery.

“I see. Well, ask away.” His eyes became a little apprehensive, and I once again remembered that I was a constant surprise for him. _Thank you, brain, for keeping his power away from me at times._

“Well. How… No, that’s not it. Um. Oh! Okay. When,” I took a pause for dramatic effect, “did you realize you had more than platonic interest in me?”

“Oh!” Edward chuckled, visibly relaxing. “Speaking honestly? The week after I went to Denali.” At once, I recalled the conversation we had regarding Denali.

When Edward was out of school for an entire week after my first day, Edward told me that he went to his extended family up in Denali, Alaska. He had apparently been in great conflict over desiring my blood and sticking to his vegetarian way of life, and just needed time to himself without the biased opinions of his immediate family.

Which, some time after I learned of vampires, was something we _definitely_ talked about in great detail. I couldn’t just casually accept that Edward wanted to drain me like a juice pouch and continue any form of relationship with him.

My eyes widened at his revelation. “What? So suddenly?” I tilted my head as a thought occurred to me, and followed up with, “Is that a vampire thing? Developing a bond with another so quickly? I know humans do that too, but still.”

Edward laughed. “From what my family has gathered, yes, it is a vampire thing. Carlisle was interested in Esme when he first saw her. She was human at the time, by the way,” he added with a wink, and I looked at him in surprise.

“Wait, really?” He nodded, smiling gleefully. “Well, how did they meet?”

“Esme loved climbing trees in her youth, and, at age twenty-six, climbed one to see if she could still do it. But she fell and broke a leg. Which is ironic, as she broke her other leg in the same way when she was sixteen.”

I winced. “Damn, she broke both legs, ten years apart? Ouch, major.”

Edward chuckled. “The second time is when she met Carlisle. He was the doctor assigned to her, and Carlisle said he was smitten with her. Still, she was human, and soon enough, she was out of his care.”

“What? Then how did they get together?” I asked with a frown, and Edward frrowned, too.

“Several years later, Esme had given birth to a baby boy. He died two days after, and Esme was inconsolable. Unable to deal with the loss, she jumped off a cliff, and barely survived the fall.”

My hands had risen to cover my mouth, which had popped open in horrified disbelief.

“When she was found, she was presumed dead on the spot, and was taken to the morgue right away. That was when Carlisle found her, clinging to life, and he wanted to save her of his own accord. He recognized her immediately as the young woman with a broken leg from before, though more grown.

“After her transformation, he explained what he had done, and, though Esme was astonished by her new life, she didn’t mind too much.” Here, Edward smiled with affection for his adoptive parents.

“At twenty-six, she was infatuated with Dr. Cullen when she was admitted to the hospital. Eleven years later, her life was saved by the same man who hadn’t aged a day past his perpetual thirty-three years. Esme found that her feelings hadn’t quite disappeared after all that time.”

I was absolutely enraptured with this story, one that had so many ups and downs. “And then what?” I whispered.

“The rest is history, so they say,” Edward said, smiling broadly. “Esme became part of our family, acting as my aunt. Along the way, Carlisle and Esme fell in love, and they eventually married, a simple court marriage where I was their witness. And here they are now, some eighty years later, enjoying their happily ever after.”

Words failed me for a moment, as I was still recovering from all of this. It was a lot to process, and part of me felt I shouldn’t have learned this from anyone but her. Or Carlisle, maybe.

“While I’m glad to know that Esme eventually found happiness thanks to...all that she went through, was it totally okay for _you_ to tell me this…?”

Edward nodded calmly. “Of course. I made sure to ask my family ahead of time what I was allowed to tell you, if you ever asked me about them.”

With a relieved sigh, I nodded. “Okay. Good to know. I just wanted to be sure that privacy was properly respected. And I really am happy to know that Carlisle and Esme found each other,” I said earnestly, no longer burdened by privacy invasion or emotional toil.

“I am, too. They have been the most wondrous parents to me and my siblings. I love them dearly.”

“It shows,” I said softly. “You’re lucky to have them both.”

“I know,” he agreed with a big smile, all cheese. There was a small, fleeting moment where I envied him. Even if he no longer really remembered his biological parents, Edward had a loving set in Carlisle and Esme to make up whatever he might’ve been missing.

Which isn’t to say that I don’t have both of my parents, as I obviously did. I just...never had the chance to experience life in one house with the both of them. But also, it was definitely a good thing that Renée did what she had to for herself.

I couldn’t fault her for not wanting to remain with my dad and be miserable, just for my sake. Not if it meant her resenting Charlie or me later down the line.

No thanks.

“Sooo, Edward.” I looked at him to make sure I had his attention, and he nodded for me to continue. “About James…”

Speaking his name was enough to instantly harden Edward’s expression, though he quickly composed his face. His eyes closed, though, and he exhaled through his nose. It wasn’t the most reassuring sign.

“Let’s go speak to Carlisle,” he said in a clipped tone.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So going off the beginning notes, I'm torn between a decision.
> 
> On the one hand, I'm thinking of segmenting my story in different parts to emulate the four books of the Twilight Saga. On the other, I'm pretty keen to just keeping BBBBAU one massive story.
> 
> What do y'all think I should do? Let me know in the comments, please! :D


	11. Non-plot related update

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Just an update on my mind and some important matters regarding my telling of Twilight!

Okay, so, hi! Phantom Diamond here, and I Just wanted to say a few things.

My mental health has affected how quickly I can churn out chapters. I know I've written a lot in two months, or what I view as a lot, but my updating of BBBBAU has definitely and noticeably slowed down. I just wanna say that I am still writing, and, as of this point in time, I will continue this story for as long as my brain allows me. Chapter 11 is almost done, and will be uploaded as soon as I'm done with it! :D

Regarding my mental health, just know that I'm genuinely okay as can be. I've been dealing with depression for a LOT longer than I originally thought I was, and I currently don't have the means to see a therapist or anything, so I'm doing what I can for myself. And writing has _definitely_ helped me stay as sane as can be. I have a pretty dope support network of amazing friends, too, so just know that I'm not totally floundering out here. :3

More importantly, Twilight.

So, for fans of the books and movies, you'll know that Ms. Meyers' vampires have skin like diamonds, the sparkle sparkle. I have recently learned, thanks to this specific tumblr post ([Link text)](https://carlislesscarf.tumblr.com/post/624095680152076288/why-do-people-suddenly-dislike-stephenie-meyer), and several other posts like it, that the reason that Ms. Meyers vamps are, in the books, all pale is because the venom of vampires leeches all the pigment of the human's skin, which is what the OP of this tumblr posts points out from an official illustrated book!

 _Ms. Meyer has literally white-washed her vampires_. This may not be new to fans amidst the Twilight Renaissance, but this info was recently new to me. This same tumblr posts points out a fuckton of other offensive and just horrible shit Ms. Meyer has whitely written for the books, and god damn, color me fucking over her shit. X'D

That being said, it's these kinds of online posts that have urged me to write my version of Twilight. I wanted to tell a diverse, gayer version that was hopefully respectful as can be to you, the readers. So, in light of this recent discovering about canonical white washing of her vampires, I will go back into my previously listed chapters and remove the mention of this pigment leeching. My sparkly vampires will sparkle with all the pigmentation they've died with!! XP

It's at this point in the story that we're gonna start meeting more characters of the story in an altered version of the canon plot. So there's that.

But I'm getting a liiiitle sidetracked. From here on, I'm gonna be retroactively editing my story to try and make the various racial and ethnic changes more apparent, as well as to try and make them respectfully apparent going onward. A few characters need some noting.

In chapter 1, I introduced a Black Alice and Asian Emmett, and in chapter 9 I introduced a Black Laurent, which was directly drawn from the film's version. In Chapter 1, I also introduced Eric Viloria, who I kept Asian as he was in the films. However, instead of having him be Korean, as his actor, Justin Chon is, I gave Eric the surname of Viloria, which is Filipino, as I know of some Filipino people with that surname. It also wasn't apparent, I think, but Angela is also mixed. Like Bel, I imagined her to be Mexican and white, so I'll be sure to reflect that in the story, too. Don't think I forgot about Angela and the other humans, hell no I haven't. XD I love Angela and Bel's friendship too much!! And Eric and Jess, too, of course.

And in regards to Alice and Emmett, the two main vampire cast members of color, just know that they will have some form of conversation about their race and upbringing. Not sure how I'm gonna tackle that yet, but I will. XD

As for the white characters, they have obviously remained the same, because Forks is, realistically, a white fuckin town, just as Washington state is mostly white. XD Still, for the vamps at least, Jasper, Rosalie, and Esme will have some overhaul from their canon histories, cuz my god, they need it in my opinion (which was largely influenced by these tumblr posts I've been seeing, the one I linked above in particular).

Lastly, the Quileutes. I am having some trouble in trying to balance what I hope is a respectful, appropriate incorporation of the Quileutes in a realistic manner, as told by the website Truth vs. Twilight ([Link text)](https://www.burkemuseum.org/static/truth_vs_twilight/quileutes.html), as well as still incorporating _some_ of the fictionalized magic Ms. Meyer has created. Keep in mind, all the changes I'm making with the Quileute "werewolves" are being informed by Truth vs Twilight and the various other posts and blogs that provide critique, commentary, and information regarding the Quileutes and Natives as real, actual people with history, culture, and a society all their own. I'm trying to better the relations between the Quileutes and the Cullens, as well as how to just handle the shape-shifting itself, as there's just a lot I'd like to alter if not change altogether. I don't see them being joined at the hip, but there's a lot of bullshit from the canon story that will be changed in mine.

This is, of course, something that Ms. Meyer clearly hasn't done. I am just one guy with the internet at his disposal, and am doing my best to tell an improved version of Twilight. That being said, if _anyone_ has any information, advice, and/or critique for me in regards to the various changes I'm making, I kindly urge you to step into the comments here or message me at any of my socials and have a conversation with me. **_Especially_ **if you are a person of color who has found that my depiction of your race/ethnicity isn't up to par.

Boy, I am running out of steam for this, and the more I wait to post it the more anxious I get. X'D

If you've made it this far, yay! I also just wanna say thank you to you all keeping up with Bel and his take on Twilight, whoever, wherever, and whenever you are. I personally started posting this story just for me and one other friend who likes Twilight as much as I do, to be honest. And to see that Hit number rise as much as it has just blows me away, even if the current number of 459 doesn't equal actual reads of my story. I honestly figured that BBBBAU would have maybe 100 hits at must, and then it would fade away. But it hasn't! I thank you all for your kudos. comments, and bookmarks so much! Seeing all the interaction my story has gotten has made me so happy, I kid you not. And hey, don't be afraid to leave me a comment or two, I love the interaction and your opinions of what I'm writing :'D

That's it from me, I suppose. Take care, y'all.

\--Phantom <3

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> The Quileute people are still looking to relocate important and at-risk aspects of their community to higher ground! Kindly support them if you can with a donation or by spreading the donation site ([https://mthg.org/](url))!
> 
> Of course, the #BlackLivesMatter movement continues to ride strong, despite the news or your social media feeds not telling you as much. Here is a link from the BLM site that lists a variety of fundraisers to donate to and petitions to sign! Kindly check them out, donate if you can, sign some petitions, and share the link ([https://blacklives.help/](url)).
> 
> Thank you for taking the time to read all of this, as well as continuing to support my story! Kindly check out my socials! Twitter is especially dead as I have no idea what to do with it, as I'm more keen for IG and Tumblr. x'D
> 
> Tumblr: [https://phantomdiamond.tumblr.com/](url)  
> Instagram: [https://instagram.com/aphantomdiamond?igshid=1cpn30u07m4n](url)  
> Twitter: [https://twitter.com/aPhantomDiamond?s=21](url)


	12. Having to Celebrate

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Chapter 11
> 
> Bel and the Cullens aim to come up with a battle plan against James. Bel also learns about a certain...treaty of some kind?
> 
> Meanwhile, Bel has to face his birthday and all that entails...

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> And voila! The true chapter 11 is here! Yay. Hope it was worth the wait~

As familiar as I was with the drive to the Cullen residence, there was something to be said about this particular drive. Edward was tense, I was anxious, and we didn’t chat much. Edward filled the silence with the few questions I asked, but that was it.

I guess planning the murder of a vampire out to murder me could easily kill a mood.

By the time we were inside the house, Edward called for his family, and half of them assembled in the living room right away.

“Esme, Rosalie, Jasper,” Edward said to them. “Where are the others?”

“Carlisle and Alice are hunting,” Esme said. “Emmett is watching over Charlie until he is given the chance to hunt, too. The three of us had returned from our hunt before your arrival.” During the drive, Edward told me that he and his family were hunting closer to home, so as to not divide the family up too much.

“Emmett expressed his disappointment about not being able to dine on his favorite meal right away,” Jasper said quietly, smiling in amusement. Even I could imagine his petulant pout and tone.

“Ah, yes, the good ol’ grizzly,” I said before I could stop myself. That got a chuckle out of Jasper and Edward at least, and Esme smiled. I might’ve imagined a flicker of a smirk from Rosalie, but I couldn’t be sure.

While Jasper and Rosalie stood farthest from the couches, Esme sat on the couch opposite of mine. To me, she maternally said, “How are you doing, dear?”

“Besides the overall worry of being someone’s entree?” Esme bit her lip to hide a smile. “I’m just worried. For your family, especially, and what this all means for you.”

“Would you like me to help out with that?” Jasper asked kindly from where he stood. I was surprised and touched by the offer.

“I appreciate it, but no thanks, Jasper,” I told him, smiling. “Let’s wait for any hysterics on my part before I accept your offer.”

He nodded once, smirking. “Noted.”

“Now, don’t try and worry too much about us, Bel,” Esme said. “We can handle ourselves. We are much more concerned with you and your father’s safety. That’s our priority.”

I took a shaky breath, and nodded smally.

“Is there anything we can get for you? Are you hungry by any chance? Thirsty?”

“Ah, no, not really.” I gave a little laugh. “Thank you, Esme, but I’m fine.” She nodded, and reminded me that I am welcome to anything they had. I was the only one it was for, after all.

“They’ll be here in a matter of minutes,” Edward chimed in, still standing behind the couch. “Emmett is with them. He’s still upset about the lack of grizzly.”

“Told ya, Bel,” Jasper said with a wink. I snorted, shaking my head. Rosalie was suddenly no longer standing where she was, and I had no idea where she went. I tried not to think too much about that.

_I wonder if there’s anything to do about possibly forming some kind of relationship with her…_

Besides Alice, the only other sibling I was able to bond with to any degree was Emmett. Which was definitely unforeseen, but I appreciated getting to know him all the same.

Emmett had become something like the big brother I always imagined myself having. Mostly because he _was_ just so big, my god. Beyond that, Emmett was so easy to get along with! We were able to joke around together, and talking to him was pretty fun.

I remembered the first time we had a proper conversation. While I was initially a little unsure of what we had in common, I found that it didn’t really matter. I could talk to him about anything, and he would just roll with it.

He was especially fond of just letting me talk to no end about video games, which, given how old he really is, was kinda funny. I was so happy to know that he had the most latest gaming consoles and systems. He was quick to offer me a second controller for any console, and we’d sometimes game for hours, much to Edward’s dismay.

Emmett was also the most...modern vamp of the family, if that made sense.

When it came to what I’d think of a typical college student athlete, Emmett fit the mold so easily. The way he spoke, the way he was so genuinely invested in sports teams, the way he carried himself.

Emmett was a frat boy, basically. But a kind one. He’d most likely bring you to a frat party or whatever, do a keg stand and then play beer pong to impress you, and stick by you the whole night so that you wouldn’t feel lonely.

Or he’d tow you along wherever he went, introduce you to his buds, and have you play a game of beer pong, and drink for you if you’d like. Emmett would also be the first to defend your decision to not drink, and would throw down with one of his frat brothers for being a drunken asshole to you, if it came to it.

At least, ya know, that’s the kind of vibe I got from him.

All in all, I liked Emmett. He was a good guy.

Someone poking my cheek brought me out of my brotherly imaginings, and I blankly looked to the source. _When did Edward sit down next to me?_

“Bel, did you hear me?” His smirk told me that he knew I didn’t.

“Ah, no, sorry,” I said, blushing a bit. “My mind ran with imagination. What did you say?”

He chuckled. “Not to worry. I merely asked if you were ready to have that talk with Carlisle. They’re closer to home, now.”

“Ready as I’ll ever be, I suppose,” I said with a sigh. Seconds later, Carlisle, Alice, and Emmett with his arm around Rosalie came into the living room. Alice went to Jasper’s side and kissed his chin, as she couldn’t reach much else, before coming to sit next to me. Carlisle sat beside his wife, kissing her cheek, and gave me a strained smile.

“Good evening, Bel,” he said, eyes bright and fully golden. “I hope you’ve been well, all things considered.”

I nodded. “All things considered.”

“Of course.” Carlisle sighed, and gave me his full attention. “I take it that you’re well aware of mine and Edward’s opinions on James and his coven?” I nodded. “Be that as it may, what are _your_ opinions, Bel?”

All eyes fell to me, even Rosalie’s, and I felt a little put on the spot. Still, I was prepared for this, and it wasn’t so bad, anxiety-wise.

“Well,” I said slowly. “Ideally, there wouldn’t be a fight. There wouldn’t be a risk of your family getting hurt just to protect me. And, of course, I wouldn’t be a target to James. Equally important, my dad and my friends could be somehow left out of this entirely.”

I took a steadying breath before speaking again.

“No humans, for that matter, would be in danger. But that clearly isn’t the case with this coven.” I frowned in genuine sadness and heartache. “Humans are dying at their hands. Humans _have_ died at their hands, they said so in the field. And...I could be next.” Behind me, Edward growled softly, and I felt a hand gently rest on my shoulder.

Looking Carlisle fully in the eyes, I said, “I know you want peace, Carlisle, and so do I. But this is more than just me, now. If James is hellbent on getting me, then I can only imagine the lengths he could take to achieve that goal. I’m putting people I love in danger, and if anything were to happen to them...”

I was on the verge of tears, but I kept it together. Edward squeezed my shoulder in reassurance, and I reached a hand up to cover and hold his, squeezing back. I looked to the floor as I took deep breaths to calm myself down, and then returned my gaze to everyone in front of me.

Carlisle was looking behind me to Edward, and I guessed that they were having some silent conversation. When they were done, Carlisle looked to me, and said, “It seems we have no choice, then. We’ll have to hunt James.”

Beside her husband, Esme looked resigned to this course. She held her husband’s hand, and he looked over at her meaningfully. Esme nodded. Meanwhile, Emmett sported a massive grin before it quickly faded when he caught my gaze. I gave him a weak smile; at least he was excited about this.

“We will figure this out, Bel,” Edward said behind me, and I squeezed his hand in acknowledgment. “Together.”

In the lull of conversation, that email my mom had sent me about her dream suddenly came to mind. With it, a new horror was attached, too.

“Emmett, what was my dad doing when you were watching him?” I urgently asked, focusing intently on him.

“Uh. He went to La Push to see his friend, Billy Black.” Emmett sounded a little dismayed, but I couldn’t guess why. To Carlisle, he said, “I followed him to the border, and didn’t get too close to it.”

“Thank you, Emmett,” Carlisle said, sounding strained. The vamp patriarch glanced at me, and I knew I was missing something. I asked just what that was, and each vampire stiffened up at the subject.

“Carlisle,” I said, quiet and firmly. Now certainly wasn’t the time to keep information concerning my father from me, and I was certain Carlisle knew that. His eyes didn’t waver from mine. He nodded in understanding.

— • —

Carlisle explained that La Push houses the Quileute Nation, the reservation in which Quileute native people live. I knew as much, from what Jake had told me when we’d hang out.

What I didn’t know was that La Push formerly housed a small number of shape-shifters that could become wolves at will. These shifters were some of the only other living beings that were capable of taking down a vampire, due to the immense strength and speed they possessed as pretty big wolves.

“We’ve been allowed to call Forks our home for seventy years thanks to the Quileutes we first met,” Carlisle had said. And this was only because, when the Cullens―all except Alice and Jasper, as they joined the family later on―first came to Forks, the vampires had encountered three Quileute men that were shape-shifters: Ephraim Black (also the Quileute Chief at the time), Levi Uley, and Quil Ateara II.

_Ephraim Black? Quil Ateara II? Are they…_

In 1936, those shape-shifters caught the Cullens while they were hunting deer in the area, detecting right away that they weren’t humans due to the distinct scent of vampire. They noticed that the Cullens had yellow eyes instead of red, and seemed to be more civilized than their red-eyed counterparts.

Carlisle then explained to the Quileutes that they meant no harm to them, that they didn’t consume human blood at all, and that they didn’t know they were infringing on occupied territory. Carlisle asked their permission if they could remain on a portion of their land, as Forks was still developing and wasn’t legally incorporated until 1945.

“Naturally, Ephraim was hesitant at our request,” Carlisle admitted. “Rightly so, due to the colonization of our white forefathers. We were prepared to leave them peacefully in the likely event of them refusing us. Perhaps far too kindly, they allowed us to stay.”

This came with a price, one the Cullens were more than happy to pay.

Ephraim, Levi, Quil II, and Carlisle came up with a treaty. Based on the fact that the Cullens did not hunt humans, they were allowed to stay in the area. With this, Ephraim had several uncompromisable requests to the treaty.

One, the Cullens could not harm any human by biting or turning them into vampires, as they viewed this as murder. Two, the Cullens were not to trespass on Quileute land without allowance or invitation. Three, the Cullens would help defend the humans of Forks and La Push from other vampires. Four, if Ephraim and his people ever needed specific help of the Cullens, they’d oblige the request to the best of their abilities. Finally, they would take the time to learn more about Quileute culture in a respectful manner, and not press for more information than is strictly needed.

Carlisle added an additional caveat: mutual secrecy. The Cullens wouldn’t inform anyone of the true natures to the Quileutes, and, in turn, they wouldn’t inform anyone of the Cullens’.

When both parties had agreed to these terms, they were then able to discuss territorial boundaries. Forks and some surrounding towns and areas became areas of truce, neutral grounds for both sides to venture. The two sides had a nifty existence with the Quileute from then on, all things considered.

Since the treaty, the Cullens had remained in Forks for a time before they had to relocate, as they couldn’t stay in an area for too long. They came back some time later, to partially keep an eye on a human descendant to one of the Cullens.

Carlisle presumed that the shape-shifting ability died with the three men he made the treaty with, as they hadn’t detected any other shape-shifters from the expected run-ins with Quileutes in town since.

Nevertheless, the treaty remained active to this day, and the Cullens continued to uphold their side of things.

With that fascinating history lesson under my belt, of which I had to process later, I needed to bring up a main concern that prompted this talk. My takeaway from this story: my dad wasn’t able to be protected by the Cullens when he was in La Push.

“When Laurent was here, did he say anything about the baseball field and James?”

Their silence said enough.

“Even Laurent was a touch fearful of James,” Alice said, almost as though she was forcing herself to speak. “He went on to say that James was one of the strongest vampires he’d seen in his entire existence, and that he was extremely intelligent. He won’t stand against James in a fight, if it came to it.”

“It’s partially why he went to Denali,” Edward whispered, and I could detect the frustration in his voice.

“Coward,” Emmett said under his breath. Inwardly, I agreed with him.

“What have you all noticed about James and Victoria in the last 48 hours or so?” I asked the room at large, looking to each face before me.

Esme informed me that they were definitely coordinating their observation of me. Victoria seemed to be running the ground game, as they caught her scent in the general vicinity around my house (“She never stepped foot on or even near your property, I promise. We made sure that our scent would keep them away from your home.”), and even at Forks High.

“She was at the high school?” I quickly interrupted, my voice having gone up in pitch. “What could she have done there?”

“Following your scent, more than anything,” Jasper said. “It’s the one public place where your scent is most constant in town.” While true, that was still disturbing to know.

“Oh!” Alice exclaimed suddenly, then, more gravely, “ _Oh…_ ”

“No,” Edward breathed, staring at his sister. All eyes flicked between the two of them, and then Edward growled. “Your emergency contact information, Bel. That’s what she was after.”

I felt the blood drain from my face as I looked on at the resident psychic. “Alice…?”

She looked uncomfortable, reluctant to speak. “Last night, I had a vision of Victoria getting into the main office, but it was just a flicker, and then it was gone. No other detail. I assumed it meant that she changed her mind about doing that, and so that future disappeared. I wasn’t able to infer anything else, Bel, I swear.”

There was only one thing worth noting in my emergency contact information.

“My mom,” I said in a broken whisper to Carlisle and Esme. “I-I have to protect my mom…!” They gave me extremely sympathetic looks, and Esme nodded quickly.

“Of course, dear,” she told me readily, then said to her husband, “We can split up, have some of the family remain here to watch over Charlie and the town.”

“The remaining half can escort you to Phoenix, Bel,” her husband added. “We can come up with something to tell your father, I’m sure.” I was over the moon, and I nodded smally at the idea.

“Carlisle,” Edward said warningly, displeasure in his voice.

“Do you have another suggestion, son?” Carlisle gently asked. Edward didn’t.

“No, no, Edward, that works out,” I said, and Edward was sitting on my free side in an instant. He had one of my hands in his, and I looked over to him. “Renée recently invited me to go see her, she asked in an email! She even had a dream about me surprising a visit to her. If...if I can convince Charlie to let me take some time off school, we can go through with it as soon as possible!”

Edward was frowning, clearly not too fond of the idea. Still, I could see the cogs of his brain moving, and he hadn’t otherwise refused the idea. This was good, I felt.

“He’s going to Phoenix, alone,” Alice suddenly announced, and Edward muttered, “Fuck.”

“I just saw him buying a ticket,” she concluded. Edward sighed heavily.

“I don’t trust this, Alice, he could change his mind.” he said quietly. “What if this is a trick to lure Bel to Phoenix?”

At once, I said, “I’m going to have to take that risk, Edward, this is my _mom._ She should be the _last_ person in my small family to learn about vampires, and―”

But I cut myself off, not wanting to say or even have that train of thought pull into the station. I took a shaky breath.

Edward stared into my eyes for what felt an eternity, and didn’t blink once. “You’re right,” he conceded softly. “Alice, keep an eye out for Victoria’s decisions, too. We can’t ignore her. In fact, I think...I think I should stay behind in Forks to keep a better eye on her. No matter her decisions, I’ll be able to hear her if she’s near,” he said to Alice.

She nodded, and said, “Jasper and I can take Bel to Phoenix. He can keep Bel calm, if he needs it, right Jazz?” The vamp in question nodded. “And I’ll keep personal watch of James and his decisions.”

“If it comes to it and you manage to catch Victoria, kill her,” Edward said to Carlisle, Esme, Emmett, and Rosalie. Carlisle and Esme both nodded grimly. Emmett, meanwhile, grinned wickedly at the prospect, and he nodded at his brother’s order. Rosalie remained silent, though she did icily glance at Edward and I before looking elsewhere.

“Bel, how soon can you speak to your father?” Carlisle asked.

— • —

Even after we arrived on my street, we parked a ways from my house going over the plan. When I was able to recite the needed lies without worry, he pulled up in front of my house and took me inside.

From there, I was able to ask Charlie about surprising Mom with a visit and that the Cullens offered to drive me and everything; he surprised me by saying yes. “She’s been beggin’ me to send you out to see her,” he admitted gruffly. “Edward’s not takin’ you though, is he?”

I supposed, as a parent dealing with his child’s first major relationship, I couldn’t fault him for presuming that.

Once he was told that Esme offered to drive me, he was on board. After a quick phone call with Esme, and saying that he’d call the school tomorrow to excuse me for a few days, the deal was done.

In retrospect, I was extremely lucky and glad that I had ditched only those two classes alone, so far. And I was an above average student, academically speaking, that behaved fairly well and did his work, so surely I’d be able to be excused.

Plus, my dad was the fire chief. Surely that had some weight to it? Maybe.

When Edward joined me in my room later after Charlie went to sleep, I told him the news right away, and he was elated. As much as I wanted to stay up and just relish the fact that he was with me, the day had been long. Sleep claimed me quickly.

In the morning sometime before sunrise, Edward had gently woken me up by pressing kisses to my cheek. “Happy Birthday, Bel,” he whispered sweetly once I was more cognizant.

“Thank you, Edward…” My voice was thick with sleep, and I really wanted to return to dreamland.

“I’ll be back,” he said, explaining the need to change clothes and get his car. I nodded sleepily, and made myself comfy to drift right back off as he slipped out the window.

When I next woke, it was by my alarm. A minute later, I heard Charlie yell, “Beeeeel! Breakfast is waitin’ for ya, kiddo!”

As I still had sleep dulling my voice, my response was less verbal as it was just a sleepy grunt. After a big yawn and full-body stretch, I called out, “Kay! Be down in a bit!” I remained in bed until my body was properly awake.

Trudging downstairs, I was grateful for Edward opting to pick me up for school.

Mostly because his wild driving ensured that I would be on time no matter what, but also because it saved me gas. Still, I made sure to at least run the engine for a few minutes once a day while I wasn’t actively driving ol’ Grandpa Chev.

The moment I was in the kitchen, Charlie stopped what he was doing to launch himself at me, picking me up and off the floor in a big bear hug. “HAAAAAAPPPY BIRTHDAY, BELS!”

I was laughing by the time he swung me around in a circle, twice, before setting me back on the floor for a regular hug. “Thanks, you dorky old man!”

“Says the old man who aged today? As if, kid.” He grinned at me, a sunrise smile, and his eyes crinkled.

“First of all, rude.” Charlie laughed again. “Second of all, is that French toast I see? And hashbrowns? Bacon _and_ scrambled eggs? What, are you looking to put the mom and pop pancake places out of business?”

“Yeah, if I want their customers to die from food poisoning, maybe,” he said as I grabbed the orange juice from the fridge. I snorted.

“Your cooking isn’t _that_ bad, Dad.”

“Tell that to health inspectors.”

“Well, you haven’t poisoned me yet, so I’ll take the risk.”

“True.” After the cooking was finished, he doled out equal portions of everything onto our plates, and surprisingly, joined me at the table.

“Dad, aren’t you gonna be late for work?” I piled my plate with food, then went to get the syrup.

“Nah, took the day off! Was hoping to maybe spend the day with you, if you didn’t have any plans, Bels.”

_How...sweet!!_

“Well, no, actually, I don’t!” I smiled at him. “Told my friends that I wanted to spend my first birthday back in Forks with you.”

Charlie brought a closed fist to his mouth and closed his eyes, as though he was going to cry. He even used his free hand to wipe an imaginary tear from his cheek, and I laughed around a bite of toast. “You’re such a ham, Dad,” I said, mouth full.

“And you’re a pig, chew with your mouth closed.” Which was said with his own mouth full of food.

“So, what do you have planned for me?”

Charlie narrowed his eyes at me. “Like I’m gonna tell you. Is Edward gonna come with you after school?”

I glared back at him for the mystery. “No, he’s just dropping me off. He knows that I want today to be just for us.” _He’d still be here, just outside in the woods_ , I told myself.

Dad took a big swig of coffee. “Ah. Well, feel free to invite him along, Bels, if he’d like. I know you two are joined at the hip, being all mushy and kissy.”

And that’s when I couldn’t look him in the eye. Not because he was right, but because he was wrong; I was still freaking out whenever he kissed my cheek, for crying out loud. I’ve also just been too nervous to kiss him freely, even though I thought about it a lot.

_Maybe more than I should…_

I took a big drink of juice to parch my suddenly dry throat. “That’s real nice of you, Dad! Uh, I’ll ask him, at least. Thanks!”

We finished up breakfast and cleaned up afterwards, and all the while, I tried to pump the old man for more information on whatever he was planning. This was a futile endeavor, but one couldn’t be blamed for trying.

“All I’ll say is to not expect much,” Charlie eventually said. “I know you aren’t big for major surprises or anything.” Neither was he, for that matter. “It’ll be a simple thing, like any other day, plus some extra. Now go get ready for school, ya shit.”

— • —

“That’s very kind of your father to offer, Bel, but I’ll kindly have to decline.”

We had arrived at the school parking lot a few minutes before the first bell was to ring, and remained in the car. It had begun to unexpectedly rain, thus ruining my plan to sit at one of the outdoor tables.

Typical Forks.

“That’s okay. I figured as much.” What I didn’t say was that I was a little relieved. Whatever Charlie’s plans were, I didn’t want to subject Edward to them, especially if food was involved. Emmett told me that, while they _could_ eat human food, they’d just have to yack it up hours later.

From that point on, I tried very hard to not imagine them on all fours with arched backs, immortal cats trying to spit up a hairball. I failed.

But also, I didn’t want to run the risk of Charlie showing Edward baby photos of me, or otherwise embarrass me. At least, not so early on in the relationship.

“May I still join you later on in the evening?” Edward asked calmly. Perhaps too calmly, in my opinion. I scrutinized his face, trying to see if I could find a crack in any possible poker face. I couldn't find any.

“Of course,” I said slowly, suspiciously. He smiled too brightly, I felt.

“Thank you, Bel.” The bell rang. “Time for school!” He walked me to my first class and kissed my cheek before heading to his class, and I felt even more suspicious.

English went by quickly, and I wanted to destroy Tyler in Government. He dared to turn around in his seat to wish me a Happy Birthday, and I would’ve flicked his nose in response, hadn’t it been for the few friendly faces seating around us also wishing me the same.

I stammered a few thank you’s, and was fairly sure my face was more red than I would’ve liked. I glared at the back of Tyler’s head the whole hour, and inwardly cursed all his bacon to burn.

Math and Spanish were hellish, no thanks to Jess. She loudly wished me a Happy Birthday in the former class, and I _did_ flick her nose as a response. I forgave her in Spanish, as she presented me a gift, even though I instructed everyone I knew to _not_ get me anything.

She gave me a container of homemade oatmeal raisin cookies, and I wolfed one down right away. “You’re only forgiven because you braved your kitchen to make these for me despite not liking raisins yourself,” I told her as I hugged her after class. “You punk.”

“Love you, too, Bel,” she said, grinning. We went to my locker to safely store my precious cookies (otherwise I’d be eating them throughout the day), and walked to the cafeteria right after. We were soon joined by Edward and Alice, the latter hugging me to whisper birthday wishes like a sensible person.

The rest of my friends doled out hugs and birthday wishes as they arrived. We ate our lunch and I was mercilessly teased for being seventeen. I upheld the dignity of a Dancing Queen and paid the naysayers no mind.

Maybe twenty minutes had passed of us just chatting about the usual baloney, when Jess, Angela, and Eric simultaneously placed packages in front of them on the table and pushed them towards me. I was talking, and promptly forgot what I was talking about as I stared dumbly at said packages.

“Uh…” That was about it for my verbal ability, honestly.

“Soooo,” Eric said with a big grin. “We know that you don’t like surprises, but we decided to ignore that. Just a little.”

“And before you get upset,” Angela said, “just know that we kept a fairly strict and low budget.”

“We brainstormed ideas about what to get you, and we hope you like them,” Jess said.

“And no, neither Edward nor myself had any part in this,” Alice said, sounding bitter. She and Edward were instructed to _not_ get me anything; tipping Carlisle and Esme off to my birthday and the subsequent breakfast was her gift, and Edward had taken me on a date in that meadow.

Those were lovely gifts as is, and anything more would’ve been unfair, in my book.

“It was actually Angela’s idea,” Edward softly said, smiling at her. She smiled shyly and was blushing a little, but said nothing else.

“You don’t have to open them now,” Jess said, but I reached for her package just to spite her. She giggled into her hands.

From Jess, I was given a tie dye shirt with a cat’s head floating in the center of the swirls, wearing reflective, round sunglasses. I loved it, of course! Jess recounted how she saw it by chance in a clothing store, and, as it was the last one, she just had to snag it.

Angela gave me a copy of a CD that we listened to one day at her house, the self-titled album of an Irish girl group called B*Witched. She told me that she managed to find it up in Port Angeles when she went with her family during the weekend.

Eric, bless him, gave me a cute little Pokémon plush of Porygon2. I took forever to name the little thing, and decided it on Bytebeak. It was most appropriate, as it was modeled after a dipping bird, and, according to Pokémon lore, it was made entirely of programming code.

“You guys,” I said happily to the three of them. “Thank you so much, really. I may not be fond of my birthday, but you’ve made today one of the best ones I ever had. You all have,” I added with a look to Edward and Alice each.

The bell rang at that moment, and the humans of the table groaned. I scrambled to carefully put my gifts into my backpack while the others cleared the table of the trays and trash. I made sure to hug Eric, Jess, and Alice before they left for their classes. Angela and Edward got their hugs, too, and then we went to Biology together.

— • —

“I thought I told you two to not get me anything,” I complained, looking at Edward and Alice’s guiltless faces. We were by Edward’s car in the school parking lot, and in the backseat sat two packages of different sizes wrapped in glittery paper, with glittery ribbons tied around them.

“You did,” Edward said.

“And we ignored that, just like your human friends,” Alice said, grinning.

“They’re your friends, too,” I muttered, glaring at them both.

“That isn’t the point,” she said with a huff. “When you told us to not get you anything, it was after we had already got them and before you told us.”

“It’s only a little too late to file a complaint,” Edward said lightly, though his tone was completely teasing. “Just a bit.”

“Now, you can keep arguing, or you can get inside and open them before the rain really picks up,” Alice warmed. I quickly got in the back, muttering nonsense. Just as they got in, the rain was absolutely hammering down on the car.

I was staring at the presents beside me as if they were snakes coiled to strike. “Beeeel,” Alice whined. “They’re presents, not threats! C’mon, open them!”

With the heaviest sigh I could muster, I reached for the smaller box that was about wallet-sized and looked like a small envelope. “That one is from me,” Alice happily said. I untied the small ribbon, undid the flap, and pulled out two gift cards to McDonald’s.

There was no fighting the big smile that broke across my face, and she grinned right back at me, having turned around on her seat. “Aww, you really know me, Alice! Thank you so much!!”

“You’re very welcome, Bel!!”

“It might give you more incentive to drive Grandpa Chev,” Edward said, smiling easily. I knew exactly what he meant. The nearest McDonald's was in Port Angeles, afte all.

“Sounds like a good idea,” I told him. I carefully tucked the cards back into the sleeve and put them in my bag, then reached for Edward’s gift.

“Er, Bel?” Edward asked hesitantly, and he looked nervous. “Would you be so kind as to open m-my gift when you’re alone?”

Thinking with my gutter-brain, my eyebrows shot up high in concern. Edward’s eyes widened and he had trouble keeping eye contact with me, which was definitely a first.

“My apologies, Bel, that was unintentionally inappropriate, I―Alice, you stop laughing, _right now_! B-Bel, please, I didn’t mean anything impure, I swear―” I put up a hand to stop his verbal trainwreck, grinning a Cheshire Cat’s smile. He looked away from me altogether, then.

“Well, _well_ , Edward,” I said slyly while Edward groaned and covered his face with a hand. “Now just what kind of gift did you _get_ me, dear lover?”

Once again, I was struck with the idea that, should vampires have had the ability to blush, Edward would’ve been a supernova in the night sky. I honestly swore that I saw his eye bulge open wildly the moment he heard the word “lover.”

_Is Edward a little on the shyer side about expressing affection? Hmm… Maybe._

I had perhaps my first noted victory against Edward in terms of being rendered speechless thanks to open expression of affection, and I needed to milk it for all it was worth.

It was what I deserved.

“B-Bel, you know _very_ well where I stand on that subject!” Edward sure sounded pretty embarrassed, for him, and I figured he needed to be spared.

_I guess he isn’t ready for_ some _human emotion to resurge…_ _But embarrassment was the most entertaining one! For others to experience, that is._

I quickly captured one of his hands in mine, and his babble came to an instant end. Chuckling, I lightly kissed each knuckle of his before kissing the back of his hand, right in the center. Just like he had done to me.

“I know, Edward,” I said, kissing his hand once again before relinquishing it. I picked up his gift and most gently placed it into my bag. “Until I’m free of prying eyes, then.”

— • —

Almost as soon as I was inside, Charlie slammed into me just to bear hug me off the floor for a bit. “Here’s my birthday kid!” As he set me down, I could instantly see how happy Charlie was to spend our first birthday of mine together.

His eyes were all crinkled and everything.

“Okay, kiddo, here’s the deal,” the old man said as he threw an arm around my shoulders to pull me closer. He used his free hand to illustrate his words. “I’m no baker, so I went out and bought you some pie since you still have some of Esme's cake.”

“Will I get to know what kind right now?”

“Nope.”

“Can we start on the pie first?”

He laughed. “If you want, sure. But I don’t want you getting too full from what I made for you!”

“And what are we having?”

He grinned. “Glad ya asked.” Without warning, I was blinded by his big hands covering my eyes. “Okay. Now, what do you smell?”

I rolled my eyes, and I hoped he could feel the motion. With my eyes closed, I took a good deep inhale, then another. “Huh...it smells like Mom’s cooking.”

_There’s a sentence I didn’t think I’d ever say to my dad. Huh._

“I sure hoped that you’d say that,” Charlie said, clearly sounding pleased with himself. “Keep ‘em closed, Bels.” He guided me to the kitchen, which was obvious as the smell of food grew stronger as we moved, before slamming into me like a train made of bubbles.

“It smells _amazing_ in here, Dad, holy crap!! What are you making?”

“Can you promise to keep your eyes closed, Bels? I mean it!” I just nodded with a huff, and he removed his hands from my face to go over to the stove, by the sound of things. I heard a few things being placed onto the counter, and I heard the bustle of my dad bringing stuff to the kitchen table.

I felt Charlie’s hands take place on a shoulder of mine and at the middle of my back as he guided me through the kitchen some. Once I was still and facing the needed direction, Charlie said, “Okay, Bels, open.”

If I could have died just then, that would’ve been fine. For what awaited before me was something I didn’t know I needed.

A burrito buffet. Sorta.

Spread across the counter was a container for tortillas most likely filled, a metal bowl covered in foil, various smaller bowls also covered by foil, and a clear glass bowl full of shredded lettuce.

Just then, the oven’s timer went off, and Charlie threw on an oven mitt to retrieve a large baking tray full of French fries. He transferred those to another bowl, and turned to me happily.

“I know it isn’t that one place you love in San Diego, Bels, but you’ve been moanin’ about wanting California burritos for ages. So, I figured I’d have you assemble your own!” I went over to give him a big hug, and he chuckled softly as he hugged me back. “Happy Birthday, Bels.”

“Thanks, Dad! Now let’s eat!!”

From there, I realized that the covered bowls contained the cooked, shredded steak; guacamole, salsa, diced tomatoes, and shredded cheese. There was also a container of sour cream, too. And, bless the old man’s heart, the tortilla container had flour tortillas in them; I would’ve died then and there, as flour tortillas were my absolute fave.

“You made these by hand. Dad? The tortillas I mean?”

“Just like your mom taught me! And marinated the meat just like hers, too, hopefully. My arms are killing me, Bels, can you make me two?” Making tortillas from scratch was an arm workout in itself. I’m surprised his arms weren’t made of jelly by now.

“Of course, Dad, tell me how you’d like ‘em!” Once four burritos were assembled, I served up Charlie’s plate and snagged him a can of soda, too. As we sat down and tucked into our burritos, we touched our burritos together in a cheers, and I took my first bite.

_Bliss. Genuine bliss._

“This is _way_ better than any of the Mexican joints up here,” I said with a mouthful of food. “The Cali is the most perfect burrito. I will fight any who contests this fact of life.”

“ _Hell_ yeah!!” Charlie smiled a sunset smile. “And how are the fries?”

I plucked a fairly clean fry from the burrito and bit into it. There was a satisfying, brief crunch that spoke of their crispiness.

“Perfectly crisp, and damn hot,” I told him, chewing faster to try and beat the heat. It helped a little.

Charlie sighed heavily, wiping imaginary sweat from his forehead. “Oh, good. That’s what matters most.”

“While you’re right in the context of my love of fries, the meat is equally important, and it is damn tasty. I can’t believe you went through all this trouble to make me Calis, Dad, oh my god. Thank you so much, this is the beeeeeest present I’ve gotten all day!!”

“Well, I’m glad ya like it so much,” he said gruffly. He intentionally took a bigger bite of food to not have to speak, and I just grinned at him.

While we ate, Charlie asked me about my day, and I happily obliged him. He was especially keen to try some of Jess’s cookies, and I brought them out for dessert. He requested to see my presents, and I got those out, too.

“I really like that shirt, Bels,” Charlie said, laughing delightedly as he held up the “Your friends sure do know you, huh?”

“I make no secret that I love cats, Dad.”

“That’s for sure,” he stage whispered. I gently poked his nose in retaliation. “Can’t wait to hear you blast that CD at full volume.”

“I do not blast my music at _full_ volume, old man. At least sixty-five percent blast, thank you very much.”

“Smartass. And what did you name this little guy again?” He asked while holding up the Porygon2 plush. “Bidebeat?”

“ _Byte_ beak, like a byte of data on a computer!”

“Is Bytebeak your new sleeping buddy?”

“Obviously, Dad!” Charlie chuckled.

“Cute. Is that all ya got?”

“Alice gave me gift cards to McDicks.” I heard the pride in my voice, and that made Charlie laugh even more. That, or it was my use of the long-standing nickname we had for the golden arches. Either or.

“Wow!! She sure does know you, kiddo.”

“That’s what I said! And then Edward got me something, but I haven’t opened it yet.”

“To build up the excited tension?”

“Bingo-bongo.”

“You’re a little dork, you know that, son?”

“And you’re just now finding this out?”

“Sadly, no. Ready for round two?”

In retrospect, Dad got very lucky that his tortillas were just big enough to make burritos out of them. Small ones, at that, but if they had any more fillings, they wouldn’t close. So what felt like four total burritos each was really equated to one normal burrito each. Maybe one and a half, considering how full we got.

We even were little piggies enough to finish off the rest of the fries, as well as had two cookies each. “Tell Jess that she makes a damn good cookie, Bels.” The pie would have to wait for tomorrow, as we were just too full on burritos.

That was fine by me.

After we had our fill of food and put the leftovers away, we lazed about on the couch to watch a beloved film of mine: _Men in Black._ I would’ve sprung to watch the sequel, too, but we settled for a bit of TV before the old man had to turn in for the night.

I went upstairs to put my things away and to gather stuff for a shower, and I felt so much better when I was clean and in my pajamas. I settled on my bed, Bytebeak in my arms and the B*Witched album playing at a low volume, eyes closed as I took in the first few songs.

After the fifth song, something knocked at my window.

Or, more likely, someone.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> It's now 1:29am as I type this, and I genuinely hope that y'all don't mind the pacing for this story. I know it's rather slow, but even the original books are slowly paced.
> 
> But also, I am just making this up as I go. X'D I hope any critiques aren't too harsh.


	13. Roadtrip & Some History

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Chapter 12
> 
> After celebrating his birthday with Charlie and Edward, Bel is off to Phoenix. And on the way there, he learns a little more about Alice and Jasper.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Forewarning: the bits of history are all taken straight from Wikipedia. I'm presuming that info is accurate, but alas. x'D

While it was apparent that neither Edward nor myself were at a comfortable enough place to be too physically affectionate with each other, I was always happy to cuddle!

Of course, given that his body was cold as stone, I had to be wrapped up in my blanket, but still. It was nice. I was also grateful that he was down to cuddle at all, as I wasn’t too sure if it was a wise idea, but Edward insisted.

I’d like to think the desire to cuddle was more important than how great my blood smelled to him. And so, cuddling became a common and welcome occurrence whenever he was over!

I had already showered, I left the window closed but unlocked, and I was all comfy in bed. So when I heard that knock at my window, I happily whispered, “It’s open!” Edward hopped up to the windowsill to open the window, and leaped in a second later.

“Yes, but it’s still rude to enter without knocking or being let in,” Edward said, quietly closing the window behind him.

“Point taken!” I scooted over on my bed to make room for him, and he raised a finger in quiet objection.

“Have you opened your gift yet?” Edward’s voice was quiet, and kept at an even level. In all honesty, I was waiting to open it in front of him, and was a little glad he asked; I shook my head. “Is it still in your backpack?” I nodded, and he went over to retrieve it.

Gift box in hand, Edward settled onto bed next to me. He asked me to sit up, and we sat back against the wall at the head of the bed. “Happy Birthday, Bel,” he whispered as he set the box on my lap.

I eyed him for a few seconds, trying to get a good read on him, but he gave nothing away.

Focusing on the gift, I carefully untied the ribbon and slowly eased the lid off the box, setting it aside. Whatever was in here was covered by wrapping tissue, thin sheets of each color of the rainbow.

“Clever colors, Edward,” I told him, and he chuckled, gently nudging me with an elbow. I removed the gay pride tissue, and came across three small parcels wrapped in pink, purple, and blue wrapping tissue. “Very clever. And very queer! I love the thought that went into this, so thank you for that!” I giggled, and he kissed my cheek.

I pulled the pink one out first to unwrap. Inside was a wooden bracelet, a single piece of wood that was a deep brown. Carved into the wood were little, simple suns and crescent moons that were separated by little diamonds, resembling stars in a way.

“This is so cute!!” I marveled at it, spinning it in my hands to look at all of the suns, moons, and diamond-stars. I slipped it over my right hand easily, and I flapped my hand around to ensure that it wouldn’t come flying off my wrist. It didn’t. “Thanks, Edward!”

“I’m very glad that you like it, Bel.” He was all smiles, and I kissed his hand before moving onto the purple parcel.

This one was a little larger than the bracelet with a bit more weight, and was kinda lumpy. Concerned, I unwrapped it, and cooed at the little orange tabby inside. Not an actual cat, obviously. It was a Beanie Baby plush, and, while her tag said that her name was Amber, I opted to give her a middle name of “Oliver.”

“Why Oliver?” Edward asked.

“From that animated film, _Oliver & Company _. There’s an orange cat named Oliver in it, and I love him. It was that or Simba, but lions are harder to keep as pets than domesticated cats.”

“Why not name her Nala, then?”

“Nala has tan fur, not orange.”

“Of course. How could I not see that?” Edward’s muttering was clearly amused, and he wasn’t doing much to hide that.

“Thank you, I love little Amber Oliver!” I kissed the top of her head, and then placed her atop my own head just because I could. “Now I have my very own kitty. Sort of. Close enough! Be careful up there, sweetie, okay? Don’t wanna fall off, Amber.”

Edward laughed at me, and I playfully pulled some of his hair before moving on to the last one in the box.

Wrapped in blue was a rectangle of sorts, one that fit snugly at the bottom of the box. I gently picked it up, and I felt that whatever was beneath the wrapping was some sort of cloth. I was right! There was a large hand towel that covered a picture frame, with the most loveliest painting of a Giant Atlas Moth inside it.

And of course, the moth was colored in pinks, purples, and blues. Of course.

“I remember you once stating that you’d like to have some bi pride colors in your room,” Edward whispered beside me. “You said that you didn’t know what to put up. I hope this is satisfactory.”

After taking Amber off of my head, I leaned over to my bedside dresser to move some things around, and carefully placed the frame there. “Rad,” I said as I sat back up, admiring it for a moment longer before turning to Edward again. “Where did you even get this? It’s perfect!”

He smiled sheepishly. “I painted it, actually. Not even Port Angeles would have anything this specific to your liking. Or anything as proud.”

With a kind smile, I leaned over to kiss his cheek, crowding his personal space a little. “Thank you,” I murmured with another kiss. “For all of this, it’s very sweet of you.”

“You’re very welcome,” Edward said, stealing a brief kiss on the lips. “So, California burritos, huh?”

I sighed heavily. “My life was forever changed in San Diego, Edward, I promise you.” He chuckled. “Any food that has fries basically wins me over, even before I have it. And a _burrito_ full of them? I never stood a chance.”

“Why are they called a California burrito?”

“That’s a good question, one I don’t have the answer to. What I _do_ know is that it should really be called a San Diego burrito, as they were popularized there. I think Los Angeles has some, but that might be as far up the map as they go.”

“Hm. I see.”

I sighed. “Edward, I swear. If you were capable of eating and enjoying food, you’d be salivating for one of those bad boys. I almost feel sorry for you. Almost.”

“Well, aren’t you sweet.”

“I try.” I smirked, and he rolled his eyes. I went on to place wrapping tissue back in the box, and I carefully set that beside my bed on the floor.

Edward took that as a cue to get comfortable, and we both laid down on my bed. I claimed my place curled up into his side, resting my head on his shoulder. Once Edward wrapped his arm around my body and pulled me even closer, he went still.

“I hope you enjoyed your birthday despite all of the fussing you put up,” Edward said with a kiss to the top of my head.

“I did, very much so. I had good food, cookies, neat gifts, and I’ve an entire cake for tomorrow. Definitely having a slice for breakfast tomorrow. Ya know...before.” Words quickly escaped me, and I sighed heavily at the thought of tomorrow.

“We don’t have to talk about it, Bel.”

“It'd be more stressful if we didn't.” I drummed my fingers along Edward’s chest absently. “They know where my mom _lives_ , now. It’s one thing to just...follow my scent around town, I guess? But they went so far as to break into the school _just_ for information? That’s...disgustingly smart, and I hate admitting that.”

Edward didn't say anything for a bit. Then, “I’m unsure what to say to you without sounding like a broken record, Bel. I...feel so at fault, in a way, for exposing you as I have. But no one had any way of knowing that he was a tracker, or how your blood would appeal to him. I _am_ sorry, Bel.”

I lifted my head to look up at him. “Hey. You’re doing what you can to keep me and my loved ones safe. That’s what matters more, to me. You’re right about no one knowing how any of this would’ve went down. No one is at fault here, okay? Least of all you.”

Wordlessly, he brought his free hand to hold mine on his chest. We stayed that way for a silent minute. “Let’s go over the plan one more time, please.”

As Charlie managed to excuse me for a few days (I had gone around to my teachers to inform them and to get word of any assignments I’ll need, and I had to reschedule a test), Esme was cleared to pick me up tomorrow afternoon for the drive to Phoenix. She’d drive off enough of ways to be out of sight of my house. Alice and Jasper would be waiting in the woods to take over for her, and Esme would go on to keep an eye on Charlie.

Alice had already made a reservation at a hotel in Phoenix, and we’d bunker there. They would keep sharp alert that first day until nightfall, when Jasper could go out and do a quick scout. If things were cleared, we’d see about checking on Mom’s house from the safety of the car and go from there. If they weren’t cleared, we’d remain in the hotel and see if there was an update about Victoria instead.

Most importantly, we had to go into this knowing that James was a definite threat on his own, and could do anything to try and get his teeth in me. We had to play smarter to ensure that I wouldn’t be in danger if James was in Phoenix and so that my mom was safe as could be.

There wasn’t much else to plan, unfortunately. For some reason, Alice was having trouble seeing any future James could do down. We were going in a little blind due to this, but it was a gamble I had to take for Renée.

Everything else could go to hell for me, as long as she was safe.

Edward sighed, and gently rubbed my arm. “I have to admit, I’m not too fond of this plan. There is much that can go wrong. Still, we have few options that we’ll just have to make do with.”

“Thank you,” I whispered into the quiet. Edward kissed the top of my head again, and began to quietly hum some pleasant tune that gradually lulled me to sleep.

— • —

Seeing as my two vamp escorts didn’t need to rest at all whatsoever, Alice and Jasper intended to drive right on to Phoenix with enough stops for me to stretch out for a bit, use a restroom (or the side of the road, depending), and get a bite to eat.

As much as I wanted to sight-see, this unfortunately wasn’t the road trip for that.

During the day, I took it upon myself to gas up for them as needed, as they obviously shouldn’t no matter how empty the gas station was. I slept whenever I could, and I was grateful that the backseat was comfortable as could be; and that they were more than happy to blast the air conditioning for me. _I miss the cold of Forks._

It was an immensely long drive that I almost went insane during. Almost.

I thanked myself for bringing _The Lovely Bones_ , at least, but reading could only be so entertaining. I didn’t think to bring other books, and I was trying to conserve the battery of my DS; I used it sparingly, and opted to make conversation with Alice and Jasper for as long as they were willing.

At some point, I had woken up from another nap maybe thirty minutes after we had crossed from California into Arizona, and I was wide awake. I was informed that it was 10:02pm locally, and my body was still clearly on PST. _At least it’s only an hour difference._

I still had things to know.

And as Edward wasn’t here, I took it upon myself to ask them questions that he most likely wouldn’t answer for whatever reason. For example: just how dangerous was this entire saga thus far?

“Normally, this would be rather straightforward,” Jasper said from behind the wheel. “The fact that we have to contend with so much sun is a hassle, in all honesty. That limits Alice and myself in ways that might be needed.”

“And since my visions aren’t too helpful at the moment, there is objectively more danger, I suppose,” Alice said. She wasn’t as chipper as she usually was, and I could hear the frustration in her voice.

“Has that happened before, Alice?” I asked. “Have your visions ever given you issues?”

She turned around in her seat to look at me. She was frowning. “Not particularly. The only times my visions aren’t too helpful are when someone is indecisive. If they aren’t set on a decision, their future isn’t clear to me. All I get are flickers that pop in and out of my mind.”

“Alice has rarely been confused before,” Jasper said gently, eyeing me in the rearview.

That made me frown. “Alice, is there anyway someone besides the Cullens and the Volturi could know about your ability?”

Her frowned deepend. “Not as far as I’m aware. If there are, they might be dead by now.”

“That’s so weird.”

“Definitely,” Alice sighed. She turned back around in her seat, and Jasper reached over to hold her hand.

I felt bad for Alice.

Of her adoptive family, she was the only one who didn’t know any aspect of her past. When I asked her what she remembered, she just said that she must have been turned sometime in 1920, as she specifically remembered bringing in the New Year of 1921 by feeding on drunk humans in an Arkansas cornfield.

I had a flashback to _The Lovely Bones_ , and how Susie Salmon was killed in a cornfield. I shivered at that one commonality between fiction and vampiric reality.

To that end, I asked Alice and Jasper more about themselves to pass the time.

Unfortunately, there wasn’t much that I didn’t already know by this point for Alice. What I didn’t know, however, was the story of how she became vegetarian before meeting the Cullens!

Back in 1920, she woke up to her new vampire life with complete amnesia and her vampire-enhanced senses. She only had a vague idea that her name was Alice, as it simply just felt right.

Some time later, Alice had her first vision. It was one of Jasper, and she determined from that vision that he was the love of her life.

“I had no idea who this man was, I didn’t even have his name,” she said fondly, eyes glued on her mate’s face. “But it was love at first sight for me, even if I hadn’t seen him in person yet.” Jasper gave her a small, loving smile at hearing that.

Even more curious was the fact that this vision shifted to show the two of them, happy as could be, in the company of the Cullens. She had no idea who any of these people were, other than the fact that they were vampires. This newer vision was them hunting and feeding on animals.

Needless to say, this shocked Alice, though the sight of animal blood helped her realize what she was.

Alice fed on humans for a year or so, but that vision of Jasper and her future family wouldn’t leave her alone. She spent the next two decades practicing vegetarianism, and, while she had many slip-ups, she stuck to the lifestyle as much as possible.

Eventually, in 1948, Alice met up with Jasper at a diner in Philadelphia, Pennsylvania. Alice was waiting in the diner for Jasper, though he didn’t know it. He had just stumbled inside to avoid the freakish storm that raged the afternoon, and claimed an available booth.

“I was watching him the whole time,” Alice said, a smile clear in her voice. “He was even more beautiful in person.” Jasper chuckled bashfully.

She walked over to sit across from him and informed him that he kept her waiting a long time. Jasper was wildly confused, not at all knowing who this girl was. But he literally felt her sincerity as she told him all she knew about him, their gradual journey to falling in love, and finding a family with the Cullens.

“She gave me hope,” Jasper said softly. “After decades of carnage, anger, and depression, this lovely young lady gave a young soldier hope for something...more.”

“He’d later realize it was also love he felt,” Alice added, giggling.

“And I took even longer to realize that it was real. I’m mighty lucky to have met her at all.”

They shared a fond look with one another, and I felt the need to look away. Mostly because, my god, a fool could see just how in love they were; it was just too sweet for my eyes.

Now that I thought about it, they weren’t very keen for public displays of affection, even in their own home. Hell, Carlisle and Esme might as well have been young and in love, for all the affection they openly display.

And, for the short time I’ve known Emmett and Rosalie… Well, they could barely keep their hands off of each other, sometimes.

_Hold up. “Young soldier?”_

“Um, Jasper? When were you a soldier…?”

— • —

“During the Civil War, actually,” Jasper said, looking to the rearview in time to see my eyes blow wide open. He smirked at me. “Yes, I certainly had a different upbringing than the rest of my family.”

That he did.

He was born in Houston, Texas in 1844 as Jasper Whitlock. While he didn’t remember his parents very well, he remembered living with his father, a cold and racist man; his bigotry was the hallmark in Jasper’s memory. By early 1961, racial tensions were quite high in the South, and for Jasper’s father especially.

When the Civil War started in April that year, his father insisted that his son join the Confederate Army in his stead, as Jasper’s father was unable to enlist due to a back injury several years prior.

“I refused him,” Jasper said with an edge to his voice. “Never once did I agree with his ugly views, and I certainly wasn’t about to align myself with the Confederates, no sir. I ran from home, as he was a violent man that took his frustrations out on me, even if rarely.”

Jasper enlisted in the Union Army after leaving home, lying to the recruiters about his age. He was tall for a seventeen year old, and easily passed for twenty. He was placed in the West Gulf Blockading Squadron that same year, and mostly stuck to grunt work.

But he had a great ambition and an astonishing charisma (“Which I am confident is what led to my ability as a vampire, Bel”) that ultimately allowed him to be promoted to Lieutenant Colonel in just two years. Jasper was easily the youngest Lieutenant Colonel in Texas, not counting his actual age. He recalled that older, experienced soldiers wanted to resent him for it, but he was just too skilled and too likable to be hated by his peers.

“I was eventually placed at the Second Battle of Galveston,” Jasper said. “We lost that one, unfortunately.”

Jasper was among the number of Union soldiers that were a part of a three-hour truce at the order of Confederate Major General John B. Magruder. A Union ship, the _USS Westfield_ , was grounded on a sandbar in Galveston Harbor during this time, and Union Fleet Commander William B. Renshaw opted to blow up the stranded ship rather than let it be claimed by the Confederates.

Of the soldiers down on the shore, Jasper and the others laid down their arms on the presumption that their side was surrendering. The Confederate soldiers then decided to take prisoners, and Jasper was one of them.

Luckily for him and few others that fought back, Jasper was able to escape.

He and the others fled as quickly as their feet would carry them, separating as they ran. Jasper’s plan was to find other lost Union soldiers until they had enough numbers to smartly fight off enemies, and make their way to safety as a group.

“That’s when I met Maria,” Jasper said coldly, and a chill went down my spine.

Night had long since fallen as Jasper hid where he could, unable to find other comrades. His next aim was to steal a horse, when he saw three young women of unearthly beauty. They were young enough to be girls, really, and Jasper figured they needed help of some kind.

Ever the Southern gentleman, he introduced himself to the girls and offered his assistance.

Maria was a vampire from Monterey, Mexico that had lost her coven and the territory she had during the Southern vampire war (“There was a _vampire_ war?!”). She enlisted the help of Nettie and Lucy, others without territory or covens, in order to try and rebuild her power.

By this point in time, the three vampires were discussing Jasper and what to do with him, a young soldier, which confused the young man. Still, he hadn’t thought of them as a threat, and his upbringing couldn’t allow him to ignore them.

Maria asked Nettie and Lucy to leave her be, saying something about not wanting to watch her back. She walked over to where Jasper stood, smiled beatifically, and wished aloud that he would survive.

“Three days later, Maria had told me what she’d done, and tricked me into thinking it was for love.” Jasper sounded disgusted by this, but kept going on. Alice gently squeezed his hand, and some of the tension eased from his body.

He ended up staying with Maria for several decades as her lover and her second-in-command. She tasked him to train an army of newborn vampires that she cultivated, and he thoroughly used his military experience and his ability to do so.

Jasper trained countless newborns, and killed them after a year into their new life as per Maria’s instructions. He killed far more humans in that time, too. Unfortunately for him, he experienced every emotion that his victims or enemies felt right up until they died.

“It was horrible. So much senseless death, so much violence. In the end, I chose to leave Maria thanks to two friends, Peter and Charlotte. They were newborns I helped train and took a shine to. They convinced me to leave with them, and I traveled with them for a time. I wandered away from them eventually as they preyed on humans, and went off on my own while feeding only as needed. It was a very difficult time for me.”

Jasper glanced over at Alice and smiled a sunrise. His gaze was so loving, his expression was so calm. It was easily the most relaxed I had ever seen the vampire thus far.

“Which brings us back to that afternoon in the diner. Alice has made all the difference for me, and has given my life so much more than I ever hoped for.”

“Jazz, you big ol’ softie.” Alice giggled. Then, in a flash, a silver cell phone was in her hand and at her ear. “Yes? Nothing to report other than Bel’s snoring (“Hey!”). We crossed into Arizona about thirty minutes ago.” Alice then looked back at me, grinning. “Yes, Sleeping Beauty woke up shortly after crossing, and we’ve just been talking since. Of course. Bel?”

She handed me the phone, and I thanked her. “Hello?”

I heard a sigh. “Is it odd that I’ve been missing the sound of your voice, Bel?” Instantly, the moths fluttered happily around my ribs, and I was sure that I was blushing. I looked out the window to hopefully hide that.

“Not really.” I surprised myself by keeping my voice even. “I’d say this is just like before, when you’d hang out in my room at night and then go home. Except that you aren’t seeing me the next morning at school. It’s kinda neat to have gotten out of school for a few days despite the circumstance.”

Edward chuckled, a strained sound. “How is it that you’re so optimistic?”

I shrugged automatically. “There’s only so much trauma I can deal with, so I gotta find the laughter in all this chaos somehow.” I heard Jasper snort, and I looked over to see him silently shaking with laughter. I grinned

“Plus, it’s been nice talking to Alice and Jasper. They’re great company to have.”

“Aww, Bel! Thanks!” Alice said happily.

“Oh, good,” Edward sighed. “I’m happy to know that. I just wanted to call and give you an update on things. And to hear your voice.” The moths fluttered again. “We’ve been trying to track Victoria, but she always keeps avoiding us. It’s not going so well.”

“And what about James?” I didn’t want to know, but I needed to.

“He isn’t in Forks anymore. We haven’t found his scent anywhere in or around the town.” Edward sounded very displeased by this and what that meant. I didn’t need him to clarify that.

“How’s Charlie doing? Has he been okay?”

“Yes, he has. Esme has been keeping an eye on him for most of the day until Carlisle gets off work or until we get out of school. Victoria hasn’t been near your house since before you left. She’s definitely been in the surrounding woods, though. She’s trying to get through us without any luck.”

I breathed a heavy sigh of relief, and I sagged back against the seat. “Small miracles. That’s good to hear.” I was quiet for a moment. “Has anyone figured out if my absence has anything to do with Jasper and Alice’s?”

“Not at all. Angela asked about me about that, and I merely told her that they had gotten food poisoning from some undercooked chicken that Jasper made for the two of them.” I laughed at that, as did Alice. “The new joke is that Jasper is a notoriously awful cook, and Alice ate his meal out of love and paid the price for it. They both did. Rosalie, Emmett, and myself knew better than to trust his cooking, and opted to get take-out for as long as Esme is gone with you.”

“Is Carlisle also mentioned in this joke?”

“Naturally. Carlisle is a fine cook all his own, though due to his long hours at work, he rarely has dinner with us during the week. He and Esme alternate when they cook on the weekends, to make up for largely missing family dinners Monday through Friday.”

“Wow. Major kudos to you guys for really thinking this aspect of the façade through.”

“You learn a thing or two over the years.” I laughed. “As lovely as this call has been, I’m afraid I’ll have to let you go for now, Bel.”

I frowned, but nodded to myself. “Okay. Take care, Edward, and pass the sentiment on to the others, please.”

“I will. Someone will call Alice if there’s an update. If there isn’t a call in a while, it’s because we can’t speak due to the risk of overheard. We’ll get word to you three as soon as we can.”

“Okay. Oh, Alice wants to talk to you.”

“Stay safe, Bel.” I handed the phone back to Alice.

“I’ll call you from the hotel once we’re there. We’ve got less than an hour left until we arrive. We will have no problems checking in, I assure you. Of course, dear brother. Until then.” She closed the phone, and sighed. “He is such a worrywart, my goodness.”

“Can you blame him?” Jasper asked, eyeing me in the mirror again.

“No. No, I suppose I can’t.”

— • —

Whenever it was that I next woke up, I just stared up at the ceiling while my body slowly woke up. And even then, I remained in the big, comfy hotel bed. Just...stared at the ceiling. I wasn’t able to tell the time due to the thick curtains being shut.

A brief glance to the digital clock on the bedside table told me it was 1:02, and I had to presume it was afternoon. I vaguely recalled checking in and walking into the suite, but that was about it. I must’ve crashed right away, then.

I heard the muffled volume of the TV in the living area, but didn’t hear Jasper or Alice. Which, in hindsight, wasn’t surprising. They were living statues when they weren’t actively talking or moving for the sake of the human façade.

Someone knocked at my room’s door. “Bel?” It was Jasper. “Good morning, sunshine. Come out whenever you’re ready, and we can order food for you.”

“Thanks, Jasper.” I spoke at a normal volume, and I heard his footsteps depart. _That’s probably one of the cool things about hanging with vampires_ , I thought to myself. _Don’t gotta shout through walls or doors to talk to them._

I took a deep breath, felt my chest and belly rise with it, and slowly exhaled.

Already, I wasn’t looking forward to today. There were a few important questions that I’d have to ask my guardians, ones I wanted to know last night but obviously didn’t get to.

_C’mon, Bel. Band Aid._

I hopped off the bed and stepped out into the living area to see Jasper and Alice sitting on the couch, staring at the TV. I doubted that they were actually watching it.

“How are you feeling, Bel?” Alice asked, looking my way. She patted the couch next to her, and I went over and sat between the two of them.

“Kinda like a zombie. I didn’t realize that being in a car for so long could leave me so exhausted. I slept for ten hours, I think?”

“Try thirteen,” Jasper said with a smirk. “We got to the suite at around eleven something last night.”

“Damn. I really was tired. No wonder I feel like a zombie.”

“Really, Bel, how are you?” Alice was frowning. “You were talking in your sleep…”

I groaned. I had first learned that I sleeptalked that first night I invited Edward to stay the night. He teased me about it the next morning, refusing to tell me what I said right away; I apparently said his name.

“Do I even want to know what I said…?”

“Well, you said Edward’s name a lot,” Jasper said offhandedly, and I groaned again. He lightly nudged me with an elbow.

“When you say a lot…?”

“Twice. Just wanted to tease you.” He grinned good-naturedly at me. I couldn’t be mad at that.

I turned to Alice. “What else did I say?”

“You were worried about your mom,” she said quietly. “You _are_ worried about your mom.”

I felt my heart beat a little faster. My hands found each other in my lap, and I began rubbing the back of one hand repeatedly with my fingers. I let my eyes drift away from Alice’s concerned face and to the TV.

“Of course I am,” I said with a quiet quaver of my voice. “It’s bad enough that Charlie’s endangered because of me, but now Renée is, too.” It was getting a little more difficult to keep my voice even, but I tried. “She doesn’t even know that I’m dating Edward. S-She’s so perceptive about things, and she can ask so many questions sometimes. I-I didn’t want to risk slipping up…”

I wasn’t even aware that I was crying until Alice was kneeling in front of me as she gently took my face in her hands to wipe my tears. She didn’t say anything.

“A-And you all are risking yourselves, too. Just to keep me safe, to keep Charlie s-safe. Now my mom needs saving, too. And I know it isn’t my fault at all, even with vampire logic, b-but _I’m_ the one James is after, and he’s apparently willing to do anything to―”

“Bel.” Jasper said my name so gently, it caught me off guard. Alice relinquished my face, and I quickly wiped my face with the inside of my shirt before looking at him. Then I realized something.

“O-Oh, god, Jasper. I-I’m sorry for making you feel all this, I―”

“ _Bel_ .” That time, his voice was urgent, and I quickly quieted. “Firstly, you genuinely don’t need to apologize to me about your feelings, Bel. Okay? Remember, I’m surrounded by emotion wherever I go. I can handle the emotions of one human.” He smiled a little, and I nodded in understanding. “Secondly, you shouldn’t apologize about your feelings, _ever._ It’s not wrong to feel, Bel, surely you know that. And you’re under a lot of duress. It’s logical and expected. I’d be more worried if you _didn’t_ feel anything about all of this.”

I allowed myself a little laugh here. It got me to smile a bit, at least.

“There’s a smile. And thirdly…you’re important to us, Bel.”

_...What?_

He chuckled. “I can feel your confusion.” Jasper nodded. “You are, Bel. You’re important. You’ve no idea how happy Edward is now, just for knowing you. And, now that you and my brother are an item, he’s almost annoyingly happy. Almost.”

“Almost? That seems like an understatement.” Alice giggled.

“Even if you and Edward were just friends, you’d still be important, Bel.”

“Yeah!” Alice chimed in. “You and I are friends, aren’t we, Bel?” I nodded quickly. “You matter to me, too. And don’t you forget it!”

“And,” Jasper continued, “Carlisle and Esme like you immensely. If they didn’t, I don’t think you’d even be able to know about what we are. That alone is enough of an endorsement, wouldn’t you say?”

He was smiling at me with an expectant expression. I nodded, as he was right. They both were. Granted, if I didn’t know that they were vampires, I also just might not be in this entire predicament, but I didn’t say that out loud.

Details, details.

“We’ll handle the bigger picture, Bel. That’s a promise. All that we ask of you is to take care of yourself, in here and here.” Jasper pointed to my head and my chest as indicators to his last words. “Okay?”

“Okay,” I said quietly, but with more confidence. “Thank you, Jasper. That...that means a lot to me.”

“You’re very welcome, Bel.” He smiled kindly at me. “Now, would you care for room service?”

I didn’t even need to think about it. My mouth started to salivate at once at the prospect of food. “Yes, plea―”

Alice gasped at that moment, and urgently said, “Something’s changed.” She was staring blankly ahead, and I wondered what it was that she saw.

Whatever it was, a sinking feeling settled into the pit of my stomach and threw my appetite away.

— • —

Jasper was kneeling in front of his mate at once. “What do you see, Alice?” He gazed keenly into her eyes, but she was clearly seeing something beyond the vampire before her.

“Mirrors,” she murmured, and I leaned closer to hear her better. “A room full of mirrors. Long, rectangular room, walls of mirrors. There’s a golden stripe along one of the walls. Hardwood floor, he’s pacing...he’s waiting there.”

“Do you know where this room is?” Jasper whispered.

“No. Some other decision hasn’t been made yet...I only see him standing in the middle of this room.”

“When will he be there?”

“I’m not sure. Maybe today, maybe tomorrow? Something else still needs deciding.”

“Is there anything else?”

“There’s a table with a big stereo, and a TV in a corner. A VCR, too. Nothing else worth noting.” I could see her eyes focus on Jasper’s face, and they both stared at each other motionlessly.

“His plans changed?” I asked in a squeak. They looked at me, and Alice nodded.

“There’s still more I’m missing, but he’s set down this path, now.”

“Shouldn’t we tell Carlisle and the others, then?” They both gave me a significant look before turning to each other. Jasper flew to fetch the phone, and it was already at Alice’s ear by the time I realized what happened.

“Carlisle,” she breathed. “Are you in a safe area to speak?” She looked at me as she listened. “Get the next flight out, then. Yes, I have.” She briefly described the vision she saw. “We’ll check on her first before we consider taking him over. Yes, of course.” She quietly handed me the phone, and she took Jasper aside to talk amongst themselves.

“H-Hello? Carlisle?”

“Bel,” Edward said, relief clear in his voice.

“Edward, what’s going on?” Panic was slowly easing its way into my veins.

“Carlisle, Esme, and I aim on flying out tomorrow as soon as we’re able. Rosalie and Emmett will stay behind to watch your father. We’d leave today, but Carlisle can’t leave on such short notice, and if all of my family is suddenly gone during the school and work week, we might raise some suspicions.”

“Okay,” I said quietly.

“We’ll see you as soon as we can, Bel. Kindly do as Alice and Jasper asks of you, okay? The tracker most likely won’t be trying to keep himself secret from the humans, which means he’s more of a threat. You all will need to be careful, but you especially, Bel.”

“Okay, I will. You be careful, too.”

I heard a smile in his voice. “We will. Until then.” The line cut off, and I closed the phone, staring at it for a little before I went to return the phone to Jasper. Alice, meanwhile, was on the couch with a sketchpad on her lap, and her hand was flying across the page.

Standing beside the couch, I peered down at the page as she added more details, and realized she was drawing the room from her vision. The mirrored walls, the stripe along one wall, the TV and stereo.

“This kinda looks like a dance studio.” Two pairs of golden eyes flashed to my face.

“Do you know this room?” Jasper asked urgently.

“Maybe not this exact room, no. But it has the general traits of a dance studio. The mirrored walls, hardwood flooring, the stereo and TV.” I pointed to the stripe along the wall. “This looks like a ballet bar, especially if it’s golden like Alice saw. This room kinda reminds me of the studio I took tap dancing lessons in.”

“Would you have any reason to go there now?” Alice asked.

I shook my head. “Not at all. This was about ten years ago when I had lessons.” I chuckled at a memory that surfaced. “Our class was small, maybe five or six girls with me as the only boy. It was fun.”

“So you have no current connection to it now?”

“No, not at all. I only went for a summer, I think, and I didn’t bother continuing it later.”

“Was it here in Phoenix?” Jasper asked casually.

“Yeah, it was,” I said slowly, and, at the same time, something clicked into place.

“Do you remember where your studio is?”

“Yeah, Fifty-eigth and Cactus.” My voice was notably quiet.

“Call your mother, Bel.” He handed me the phone. “Don’t tell her where you are, and try not to give anything else away. We don’t want to worry her.”

I dialed in her number, and was suddenly faced with two hopes.

The first hope was that she would answer the phone, meaning that I could directly warn her amidst the faux surprise visit. The second hope was that, if she didn’t answer, that she would check her messages as soon as she could.

My call went to voicemail. I tried to keep my voice as casual as possible while also sounding urgent.

“Hey, Mom! Surprise, it’s me. So, I’ve an incredibly important favor to ask of you, it’s kinda big. Please, please, please call me as soon as you can, okay?” Alice shoved the notepad in my hand, pointing to a number below her drawing. I read the number aloud for her to reach me, twice. “Whenever you get home, try and stay there, okay? It’s part of the favor. Call me as soon as you get this message, no matter what time it is, okay? Okay. Love you, Mom, talk to you soon. Ciao for now.”

Alice took the phone from me, and gently sat me down on the couch beside her.

“Come on, Bel, let’s get you some food. Whatever you could want.” She smiled gently at me, though something about it didn’t reach her eyes. She handed me the room service menu, and I forced myself to look at it.

I picked a few things that stood out to me and phoned in the order, and I realized how hungry I was. I settled for watching TV, and kindly asked for the remote. I flipped through channels until I found something semi-interesting, and just left it on for background noise, really.

My food eventually came, and I devoured it all, maybe more quickly than I should have. But it was food, and it was good. What more could one need?

Shortly after, I slumped over on the couch and I must’ve dozed off. I vaguely remembered cold arms carrying me to my room and settling me in bed, before sleep claimed me once again.

I dreamed. It was easy to tell, really.

The dream started in my kitchen, which was the obvious indicator of the dream. I was sitting at the table and staring out the window. It was pouring rain, and while I saw the water falling, I didn’t hear it at all. Which was peculiar, as I heard everything else around me in the kitchen and beyond.

Refrigerator was running, floorboards creaked, the TV in the living room was on, Charlie flushing the toilet. Sound was very prominent, minus the rain, which was immensely odd.

Looking through the window, I saw Edward standing, looking at me. It was hard to determine his expression, as he was standing on the street at the very edge of the lawn. I got up from the table and made for the door, but when I opened it, the rain stopped.

No, not that it was no longer raining. It just...stopped. As if time had been frozen for the weather, the water was stuck wherever it was in the process of reaching the ground.

Midair, the rain was streaked lines of water, droplets trailing after the primary dollop of falling water. Grounded, water was in the middle of exploding onto the ground, splashing into puddles, and weighing down grass and leaves with the weight of water.

It looked like a painting of some sort, honestly, one I was able to maneuver through. I stood at the edge of my porch, just observing the absurdity of rain stuck in place, when I thought to reach a hand out to the fixed water.

Part of me imagined that it would just move with my hand, as though I was trying to push away smoke. Or like how I imagined liquid would just...float in space when let out of a container. What happened was worse.

The second my hand touched various droplets of stuck rain, the water stuck to my hand.

I tried to shake the water free off me, but it seemed glued to my skin. Even in a dream, I had enough sense to not use my other hand to try and scrape it off. So for the moment, I ignored it.

Instead, I looked for Edward, but he wasn’t where I first saw him. I looked all around for him from the porch, but he vanished. Plausible, given his speed. Unthinkingly, I stepped off the porch and into the still rain, and that was a big mistake.

The water clung to my body all over as it had on my hand, and stayed there.

This freaked me out, and I took a few steps closer, feeling the panic rise as the water sealed to my body like a wetsuit (no pun intended). While I didn’t feel wet at all, I could just feel the water cling to my skin and clothes all without soaking me. It was odd.

It got worse.

At once and as though it was a sentient being, the water began to move upwards at a rapid rate. It quickly gathered around my head, and I imagined a fish bowl being filled with water.

Upwards, the water climbed and climbed, submerging my head in a bubble of sentient liquid.

It formed around my neck at first, quickly crawling up my chin, my jaw. It rose to my cheeks, and I quickly took in a deep breath before it crawled over my nose.

Then and there, the dream felt like a nightmare.

My eyes were next, and I quickly closed them. This was certainly not ideal, but I didn’t want water in my eyes. Luckily, it didn’t go up my nose. But it did go up to my forehead, and up and up until my entire head was submerged in water.

Part of me wanted to run around, ask for help somehow. Yet that would require oxygen, something I needed to preserve.

I wasn’t able to hold my breath long in swimming pools. How the hell would I survive this?

Time seemed to slow altogether while I was quietly panicking, my entire head enveloped in freaky water. Seconds felt like hours, and the seconds slowly slipped by. Tick. Tick. Tick.

I felt the strain in my lungs. I needed air. I didn’t know what to do.

Tick. Tick. Tick.

_Air. Need air. Can’t breathe!!_

Tick. Tick. Tick.

_Help. Someone, please. Help me! I can’t breathe!!_

Tick. Tick. Tick.

As if this nightmare couldn’t get worse, I felt something brush against my nose in the water. That increased my panic, as what the fuck else could be in this water bubble with me?!

Tick. Tick. Tick.

In an instant, I realized it was my hair. I was briefly calmed, up until my hair was actively moving towards my nose, trying to swim into my nostrils. A scream built up in my throat.

Tick. Tick. Tick.

Without warning, my hair lodged itself in my nose and didn’t stop there, snaking its way down my sinus tract to the back of my throat.

Tick. Tick. Tick.

Other parts of my hair went to my lips, and easily pried my mouth wide open. Water and hair surged into my mouth and down my throat, and I was simply suffocating.

Tick.

Tick.

_Tick._

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> And a nightmare to boot, how awful. This was maybe my most difficult chapter to write so far, for various reasons. I hope it was enjoyable, at least! :D


	14. Playing with Fire

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Chapter 13
> 
> Bel is extremely worried that James has kidnapped his mom as leverage. Even though he's scared for his life, Bel is willing to risk it all to make sure that his mom is safe.

I woke up the next morning with a frightened gasp, and shot right up in bed. My eyes quickly took stock of the hotel room, and, while that did nothing to slow my rapid intakes of breath, I was definitely safe.

I quickly pushed some hair out of my face, and I was surprised to find that my skin was clammy. “Nightmare,” I rasped. “Right.”

Speaking that out loud released tension from my body, and I fell back in bed to slow my breathing. I did my damndest to not think of the one nightmare that stuck out to me, and the terror of my mind eventually fell back into the shadows.

Breath under control, I closed my eyes and just listened. The TV wasn’t on in the living room, and it was quiet as far as my ears could tell.

I made myself get out of bed and into the main room when I couldn’t take the silence anymore.

Alice was standing, her back to me, while Jasper sat on the couch, watching her. He looked over at me with concern in his eyes. “Bel?”

_Ah, right. I’m sure he felt all of that._

“Shitty dreams, that’s all. I’m okay, Jasper.” He eyed me warily a moment longer before nodding. “Were you able to check on my mom?”

Alice turned around and gave me a long, hard look. She looked conflicted by something, but she wasn’t saying anything.

“I drove by the address you gave us, Bel,” Jasper said quietly, eyes darting from Alice to my face. “The tracker was the only scent I recently picked up there. All the same, your house appeared to be empty. I didn’t hear any sort of movement from inside it. I even called the house, and it rang and rang until it went to voicemail.”

That brought a frown to my face. “That’s unlike her. She always answers the phone.”

“Had she mentioned anything about not being home?”

His question really made me think.

I tried to think back to the last time I read her emails, but couldn’t really remember what she wrote about. For that matter, I wasn’t able to remember when I’d last spoken to her on the phone, either.

_I guess that’s understandable, seeing as I’ve casually been in danger up until recently._

“Not really, no. But I’m sure she would’ve told me about that. She would’ve bugged me about it, actually. I’d remember for sure.” Renée was always keen to happily chatter to me about her latest hobbies and interests, no matter what.

I didn’t want to think the worst right away, as something told me that this wasn’t part of whatever game James wanted to play. If tracking was his obsession, I would have to guess that he wanted to keep playing for as long as possible.

How did Edward phrase it? Something about the most exquisite game ever?

_But if he_ did _have mom, then that would make the game more interesting, wouldn’t it?_

I couldn’t rule that out, and that fact scared the shit out of me. At the same time, I felt like I was tired of waiting around. I had to do something, but what?

Edward would want me to be careful, as I’m sure Carlisle and Esme would, too. But if he did have my mom, I couldn’t afford to be careful. Not if James was as sick and twisted as I imagined he would be.

_I have to go to him, don’t I?_

“No!” Alice said loudly.

That brought me out of my musings, and my eyes snapped to hers. Her golden eyes were wide in disbelief, then they narrowed at me. “ _No_ , Bel. There _are_ other ways!”

_Shit. I forgot about her vision._

“Then what are they, Alice? I’d like to know, because this is my _mom._ ” At that moment, I couldn’t help the fact that I just raised my voice at my vampire friend.

That seemed to catch her off guard. Alice remained quiet.

I sighed sharply.

“I’m sorry for yelling at you, Alice. I’m just...scared. And I can’t stand just being in here while James is out there doing who the hell knows what! You all agreed that the only way to stop him is to kill him. Why don’t we just go do that?”

“ _We_?” Alice questioned.

“You know what I mean!”

“Jazz,” Alice said suddenly, and looked to her mate. “Don't. I'm fine.”

The vampire lowered his gaze, and murmured, “Sorry, Alice.”

After a beat, Alice said, “Please, Bel. Let's sit and talk this out.”

I rubbed the fingertips of one hand with my thumb repeatedly, and the other toyed with the ends of my hair. I didn’t move for a moment or two, before ultimately going on to sit down.

She sat beside me right away, legs tucked beneath her as she faced me fully. I sat on the opposite end of the couch, my back against the armrest, and crossed my legs.

“Okay, before you tell us whatever it is you saw, please hear me out, Alice.” My hands were held together in the circle of my legs, and I toyed with my fingers mindlessly.

“Bel,” Alice began, but Jasper came up beside her and gently brought a hand to her shoulder. She looked up at him silently, pouting a bit, and she sighed. “Okay, Bel. Go on.”

“Thank you,” I said, looking at them both. “You said that Carlisle and the others are going to fly out as soon as they can today, right?” Alice nodded. “Great. Here’s my idea. Shortly before you see them arrive, Alice, I go straight to James _alone_ ,” I put up air quotes with my fingers there, “to try and stall him for as long as I can. That way, you all can swarm him at once to take his ass down.”

I could see that Alice was already deeply opposed to this based on whatever she saw, and I raised my hands to interrupt her.

“I know, I know, it’s an extremely dangerous gamble to make. But so is just waiting around doing nothing, Alice. I can’t stand just sitting here and doing nothing and _not knowing_ , which is arguably worse. I’d much rather act, find out these answers, and deal with the consequences later.

“Besides, the more time he spends here in Phoenix, the more intel he can gather against me and my family. That, in the long-run, is far worse if he somehow gets away from us.”

I didn’t quite realize how quickly I was speaking, and I was almost out of breath by the time I actually shut up. Still, I was determined, and I had a shot in hell at this being backed up by either of them.

_Not like the both of them would agree, so I just had to convince one._

Silence stretched on as Jasper and Alice looked on at me, both of their faces unreadable. Maybe thirty seconds passed before the quiet was broken.

“Dammit, Jazz!” Alice suddenly exclaimed, glaring at her mate. He smirked, though it wasn’t really full of humor.

“You’ve got moxie, Bel,” Jasper said. “I like that.”

“He can get hurt! He can get _killed_ , Jazz!! Do you _really_ want to deal with Edward if that happens?”

He frowned at her. “Of course I don’t want anything to happen to Bel. But his plan, while a little faulty, has some merit, even from a military standpoint. He does have a point, Alice. If James does have his mother, she’s in more danger with every second that passes. It isn’t a risk we can take, I feel.”

Alice looked like her head was about to explode. Mine felt that way, too, as I didn’t expect _Jasper_ to be the one to agree with me.

_Talk about a plot twist._

“When will the others arrive, Alice?” Jasper asked intently. She stared at him with unfathomable eyes before looking at me, and I hope she read the determination in mine, too.

She sighed. “Eleven-thirty, sharp,” she murmured reluctantly. _Bingo._

“Okay, that―”

The cell phone rang, then.

Since my eyes were glued to Alice’s face, I instantly read the surprise painted across her face. If it was one of her family, she would’ve seen it and the phone would’ve been at her ear before she answered the call.

Jasper picked up. “Hello?” He listened for a few seconds before passing the phone to me.

“Bel? Bel!” Right away, I recognized the panicked voice of Renée from my childhood, whenever I zipped out of her sight when she was distracted.

_Something’s off about her voice, though…_

“Mom, you got my message! I’m glad.” Silence. “...Mom?”

“Try to sound as natural as possible, Bel. You don’t want your mom to get hurt, do you?” This voice was dimly familiar, but I knew at once that it was the tracker.

My eyes widened, and I quickly brought a finger to my mouth, looking intently at them both. I cupped an ear next, and they both nodded, leaning a bit closer to listen better.

“Good boy. Repeat what I say, naturally as can be. Okay? Good.”

We went back and forth, him feeding me lines to say for the obvious benefit of Alice and Jasper, and I did my best to say them as I normally would. I was largely successful, as James sounded pleased with my compliance.

My instructions from James were simple: get away from Jasper and Alice, go to my house, call the number he had written on a note next to the phone, and proceed from there.

“And try to do so before noon, please,” James said in an easy, friendly manner. “It’s rude to keep others waiting.” He hung up, and words were already flying out of my mouth.

“He doesn’t have my mom. That voice of hers on the phone sounded grainy, like it was from a recording or something. Plus, she sounded much younger than she does now. He might’ve found our home videos, and I _really_ hope he didn’t.”

Like a switch being flicked, their expressions went from cautious to determined.

“Are you sure of what you want to do, Bel?” Alice asked severely.

I didn’t hesitate. “Absolutely.” Her eyes went glossy a moment, and, when they focused on me again, she growled softly.

“Fine. I just want it on record that this was _completely_ your idea, and that you take full responsibility for what happens when Edward inevitably threatens my life for letting you.”

“Deal.”

— • —

With their support, it was far more easier to enact my objectively stupid idea. In theory, it was kind of okay! In practice, I was less confident, but I was sticking through with it for better or worse.

And my god, was I hoping for the better.

With just some cash in my wallet, I was in the back of a cab going over this part of the plan.

Presuming the present played out as Alice saw it due to my specific choices, I would definitely be arriving at my old dance studio shortly after Edward, Carlisle, and Esme land at Sky Harbor International Airport.

From there, I would have to put myself at immeasurable risk, up close and personal in whatever game James has planned for me, by just...stalling him.

It was without question that the ride over to my mom’s house was just nightmare fuel.

All too soon, I was already outside my home, and I was struck with bittersweet homesickness. Which was strange, as this already felt a little less like home to me. But also, I was only physically back in Phoenix thanks to my mom’s safety.

Finally, I was outside my home due to an essential direct threat from James, even though he didn’t actually have my mom.

I still had to play my part, regardless, and knew where my role would take me.

Once I paid the cab driver, I went up to the porch and hesitated. My hand was in my jeans pocket, curled around my keys.

There really was no turning back, as I left my stuff with the vamps. They had checked us out of the hotel, and were waiting at the airport to greet their family and fill them in on _my_ plan.

With a deep breath of dry, Arizonan air, I pulled my keys out and unlocked the front door.

Inside, nostalgia came over me in waves, but I had no time to surf down my childhood memories. I made straight for the phone in the kitchen and saw a phone number written on the whiteboard, stuck to the side of the fridge.

This was a moment I took to collect myself.

While I was confident that my mom was safe, I had to really tap into my acting skills during my brief time in theater here in Phoenix to fake that I didn’t know that she was.

I did a few quick, intense jumping jacks, feeling like a fool. But I needed to sound worried with fear. It wasn’t too hard.

After building up a minor sweat, I picked up the phone and dialed the number.

It picked up at once.

“That was fast, Bel,” said that easy voice, and I heard his smile. “Impressive.”

“How is my mom?” I asked breathlessly, not needing to act for much here.

“Fine as can be, presuming that you’re alone. She’s not the one I have a dilemma with, after all.” It turned my stomach a little to know how amused he was by the prospect of having significant leverage over me.

_I bet he was a piece of shit when he was human, then._

“I’m alone.” For now.

“Good boy.” I wanted to spit for him saying that to me. “Do you know that ballet studio just around the corner from your home?”

“Yeah, I do.”

“Well, I guess I’ll be seeing you soon, won’t I?” He hung up.

I erased the whiteboard, locked the door behind me, and power-walked halfway to the studio; that alone got me sweaty. I intensely remembered the amount of times in PE during my first two years of high school when my lungs quickly required my inhaler during running days.

That was something I didn’t want to revisit under the Phoenix sun, no sir. Especially not before possibly facing my death against a _vampire._

Once I reached the halfway mark, I ran as fast as my legs could carry me, and I was so glad my hair was up in a high ponytail. Exerting myself with my hair down has never been a positive experience for me, especially when I called this place home.

Lo and behold, there it was. At the end of the street was the studio and the vampire within.

This final stretch, the sun really seemed to be baking down on me, as though telling me to not continue with this. But I wasn’t about to argue with the sun on what I should or shouldn’t do.

My breath was absolutely _ragged._ Thankfully, I didn't need my inhaler.

There was a pale pink piece of paper taped on the inside, but I didn’t bother reading it. I didn’t break my stride as I reached for the handle and lightly pulled. The door swung right open, and I stepped inside.

A single thought came to me.

_If I survive this, I’m telling Edward that I love him._

Slowly walking through the familiar front area and waiting room, a sense of surreality came over me. There I was, in a brief but noteworthy part of my childhood, marching to my own death. I always wondered what would cross my mind whenever death decided to take me out on a neverending date.

Admittedly, I figured all the cliches would be showing me a best hits highlight of my life. Or, perhaps, I’d see the ghosts of my deceased relatives smiling warmly at me, hands extended out to urge me forward into the ether to join them.

None of that came to mind.

As a teenager in his first, serious relationship, I could only think about how, if one of us had to die, what’s one human life compared to that of an immortal? Not in a depressed way, or anything at all like. But, in reality, all humans died in the end. Big deal if one more died.

There was a dark humor in the idea of being killed by a vampire. Not many humans could say that they knew for _sure_ that a vampire would end their lives.

_In a way, I was kind of special like that._

While I couldn’t fathom what it would be like for a parent to lose their child, I equally couldn't fathom what it would be like for a child to lose either of his parents.

But as long as both Charlie and Renée lived, I could be fine with that.

Through one final door, I stepped into the end of my fate. I was oddly at peace with it.

I walked into the middle of the dance studio I once tapped my way across, and found the silence disturbing.

“Bel? Bel!” My mom’s voice rang out in the exact tone as it was on that call.

Remembering my role to play, I immediately ran towards the sound at the opposite end of the room. Her voice sounded again behind a door, and I quickly threw it open.

In this dark broom closet was a TV set and a VCR, and on the screen was one of my family home videos from a beachside amusement park in San Diego called Belmont Park. I remembered going with an aunt and my cousins, and, in this part of the tape, I decided to hide from my mom when she wasn’t looking. She continued to call my name frantically, “Bel? Bel!”

Seconds later on the screen, the camera focused on me peeking out from behind a trash can as people walked by, and I came running to her, giggling that I scared her.

The TV shut off unexpectedly. Of course, I wasn’t alone.

Slowly, I turned around, and there James was at the opposite side of the room in front of the door beneath the Exit sign. In his hand was a remote control. We stared at each other quietly until he strolled over to me at a human pace.

He certainly heard the rapid increase of my beating heart. My throat went dry as he kept walking towards me, passed me into the closet to turn the TV off and to place the remote atop it. My eyes never left his form as he walked back passed me, stopped a few feet away, and turned on his heel.

He was smiling, as though we were chums that had come across each other in public. His hands were in his pockets, the thumbs out and in his belt loops, looking casual as could be. Non-threatening, one could say.

I knew better.

“I hope you don’t mind that your mother isn’t with us, Bel.” There was that easy voice of his, though now it seemed mocking. I wasn’t sure if I was making that up or if he was just fucking with me openly, now.

“N-No, not at all.” I no longer needed to rely on acting scared, so the waver of my voice was natural. I was terrified.

“Good, good! Aren’t you glad things worked out this way?” I just nodded. “Hmm. You don’t seem too upset by this.”

“Not really, no. As long as she’s safe, I don’t really care what happens to me.” Not exactly a lie, but I kind of did care. A lot, actually.

“Huh. You really mean that, don’t you?” He tilted his head, eyeing me curiously. “Brave, aren’t you? I like that, Bel. It’s very admirable. Amusing, even.”

“Thanks.” I felt so numb inside, though my voice sounded cheerful. Odd.

“Well, you’re very welcome!” He chuckled. “I gotta say, this was way easier than I was anticipating. I didn’t think you’d actually come alone. Your boyfriend isn’t even in town, is he?”

I was actually glad that my heart was beating faster than usual. I remembered at that moment that your heart rate increases when you lie, and that was a moment that I needed to partially lie.

“Nope, he isn’t. Just you and me.” _For now, anyways._

Technically, he might still be in the air over Phoenix. I hope that he’s at least at the airport by now, if Alice’s vision held true.

“That’s a little disappointing. I was hoping for more of a challenge, if I’m being honest. I’m hoping that your boyfriend will show up anyways, a heroic rescue at the last minute. It’d be a great, cinematic experience, wouldn’t you say?” His smile grew a little.

I said nothing.

“Speaking of cinematic, would you mind if I captured this little moment on film?”

My eyebrows knitted together in confusion.

James became a sudden blur of motion, and when he was still, there was a tripod next to him with a palm-sized digital recording camera set atop it. Still smiling at me, he pressed a button on the top, and I saw a red light flash on.

He wanted to record my death. And he wanted to gloat.

_Fuck._

James took a few steps forward, hands still in his pockets. He looked like he had all the time in the world. Technically, he did.

“Can I tell you something? When it comes to my favorite kind of game, I always end up as the winner. Always.” Ever so slightly, I noticed that his smile fell a little.

He looked that much less friendly because of it.

“Except once. One human evaded me, but not by her own cleverness. No, she had _help._ ” He growled that last word, and I fought the instinctual notion to flinch at the sound.

James composed his expression back into that friendly something-or-other, and that frightened me all the more.

“Poor thing. Her own father locked her up in an asylum. Said she was crazy. Said she saw things that others didn’t. I’m sure you know how things were in the 1920s, Bel, you seem like a smart boy. They fried that poor girl’s mind, thinking that shock therapy would set her right.

“Before she lost her mind to electricity, an old vampire took a shining to the girl. I’ll never understand why vampires obsess over you humans, honestly. But he grew to care for the girl like a daughter, and he helped her escape. He was onto me, knew what I wanted, and _took_ it from me.”

I blinked, and suddenly James was in front of me, towering over me, staring me dead in the eye.

All while keeping up his friendly bullshit.

“That old bastard turned her. She smelled so _good_ as a human, I couldn’t wait to taste her blood. You smell good, too, though not as great as she did. No offence.”

_None taken, you sick fuck._

James peered into my eyes for a few seconds, and I could practically see my paralyzed face reflected in his hungry, onyx gazed rimmed with crimson. I desperately wanted to see gold, instead.

“I enjoyed killing him,” he said, speaking softly now. “But he took my prize, Bel, can you believe that? That poor, delicious human girl that was locked away for delusions of seeing the future…”

“ _Alice_?” I gasped at once. James frowned, nodding.

“Yes,” he breathed, and I smelled the floral scent of his venom. “Little Alice. Seeing her again during your little baseball game surprised me, truly. But more surprising was the sole beating heart I heard, and how your precious Edward seemed so intent on hiding you from me.”

His smile was anything but friendly, then, as he brought his hand to my throat. I held my breath as his cool touch softly traveled up to my jaw. His thumb brushed along my lower lip before he took his hand back with a sigh.

I exhaled shakily, feeling peeved out to an extreme for being touched as I was. Like he was a lover when he was far, far worse.

There was no stopping the tears that welled up in my eyes and streaked down my face. Fear had me in its embrace. Death would soon have me in his teeth. And my blood would fill his stomach.

“Well. I guess there’s no point in stalling anymore, is there?” James frowned, his eyebrows coming together in thought. “I couldn’t have Alice, since the Cullens now have her. I suppose I can settle for having you, Bel, in her place. It’s a fair trade, wouldn’t you agree?”

I was trembling. Head to toe. He was going to make this painful. Slow. Agonzing. I had to try something, didn’t I? I couldn’t just...stand there for his sick snuff film.

_Edward, I’m so sorry. I love you, I do. Forgive me._

— • —

Leisurely, James began to circle around me, and I felt his eyes rake up and down my body. He made small noises, and I imagined his inner monologue as he figured the best way to kill me.

He circled me three times. As he went for a fourth, I bolted. I knew it was pointless. Still, I tried.

One moment, I was running for the exit. The next, a stone limb slammed into my stomach and sent me skidding across the floor, right by the door I was heading for.

I tried to crawl to it.

He was by me in seconds, and he knelt down beside me. I tried to slither away from him, and when I next looked at him, James raised his arm and too quickly brought the side of his hand down on my leg. My eyes clenched shut automatically, and I heard the sickening crunch before I felt it.

I _screamed_. It echoed around the room, sounding like it would never end.

“Are you sure that you were wise to come here all alone, Bel?” He sounded condescending, now, and I couldn’t even be enraged by it.

I was drowning in pain. I tried to not move at all. I shrieked when he lightly nudged my leg with his foot, and things went white for a second.

During a flicker of time when the pain wasn’t all I could focus on, I looked up at him. He was holding the camera, pointing it down at me. “No last words for Edward, Bel?”

He didn’t wait for an answer.

James grabbed me by the throat and easily held me up in the air, ever so lightly squeezing his fingers. That was enough to partially cut off my airflow, and I immediately brought my hands to his, trying to claw his fingers open.

I may as well have been trying to pry open a steel pipe, and all it did was expend my limited amount of air in my lungs.

“For as cinematic as this room is, there are so many ways for me to spill your blood.” He chuckled softly, as though a fond memory came to his mind. “But if I smelled so much as one drop, you’d be dead in seconds. And I want this to _last._ ” He clenched his fingers more firmly, and I managed a strangled yelp.

Kicking him wasn’t going to do anything, besides possibly get me a complete set of broken legs.

Breathing was becoming difficult as the panic took hold of my body. His hand around my neck while holding midair wasn’t doing me any favors either.

I couldn’t calm myself down, my lungs demanded air, they weren’t getting enough. Air struggled to get through my nostrils, my mind was running too fast, I could feel the wheeze with each little breath I was able to take.

_Inhaler. Need it!!_

“Not even a bit of a fight from you?” I was too busy trying to fight off his hand to visually confirm the disappointment of his voice to his face. “What a shame. I guess I’ll have to make this more fun for myself.”

And then he flung me across the room.

I bounced on the floor a few times before coming to a stop, and I could barely catch my breath. It hurt to breathe, and I wasn’t at all sure why.

I must have blacked out for a moment because, while I could have sworn that I was but a crumpled heap on the floor, searing pain made me very aware of every nerve in my body. My eyes flew open, and a scream absolutely ripped from my throat before I could even build up to it.

Each of my nerves and all their endings told me that I was on _fire_.

— • —

There was no room in my head for concentration. There was no room for the fact that my leg was broken. There was no room for the ache of my asthmatic lungs.

There was only the worst pain imaginable and unimaginable.

Some small, distant, silenced part of my mind knew that I wasn’t literally on fire. But that part may as well have been an aphid eating at a blade of grass in the Netherlands for all I knew.

No way in fucking hell I could hear that.

_IT BURNS!! I’M BURNING!!!_

That was about all I could think, really. That, and the never ending pain I was enduring. I couldn't even think of James much, even though that aphid in my brain knew that it was his fault. He’d bitten me, clearly, but I didn’t know where and I couldn’t even care.

All I knew was this scorching hellfire filling my veins. He could have bitten me once, he could have bitten me a thousand times. It didn’t matter. I was burning.

Time lost meaning to me the moment I felt fire claim my insides, and I could have been on fire for an entire year and I didn’t know any better.

Eventually, I heard something besides my own agonized screams.

Voices. I heard the voices of others. Distantly, at first, maybe muffled by an ocean. Then right beside me.

“He’s been bitten,” a strained voice said.

“I know, son,” quickly said another. “He has some broken bones, by the sound of it. His left leg, and some ribs. We need to be quick.”

“Help,” I rasped. Even speaking burned, and I imagined that my vocal chords were charred; it would explain why my voice sounded weak to my own ears. Then, I screamed, “BURNING ME! IT’S _BURNING_ ME!”

“He’s _mine_!” Another voice yelled that, and I dimly recognized that voice. He was the reason I was burning.

“Finish this, Edward. I can take care of Bel.” That was Carlisle. He spoke so quietly, he sounded hurt. Who hurt him?

The fire raged.

“Esme,” Edward growled. “Please.”

“He is _mine_ to _kill_ ,” James distantly growled again, and then he groaned as though in pain. There was the sound of large rocks fiercely being rubbed together, then the rocks fell to the hardwood with loud thuds.

I opened my eyes for the first time since the Cullens found me, and they found Edward right away. His eyes were fairly black, and they were focused on me. My eyes closed again as I screamed.

“Esme, get me something to brace his leg!” Seconds later, Carlisle was touching my leg, and another scream fell from my lips. The movement stopped an age later, and I layed there, panting raggedly.

“Edward, I’ll have to suck the venom out of him. The bite is fairly clean, it would be no trouble. You should take the others outside, and―”

“Hurts,” I sobbed too quietly. “It hurts, I'm hurting…!”

I felt cold hands at my face, and I would’ve sighed at the relief of the burning. It wasn’t as relieving as I hoped, as my cheeks still were aflame. “We will help you, Bel, we _will_ ,” Edward insisted. “Carlisle, please. Let me. I can do it. I will do this.”

“Quickly, son, before it’s too late.” Carlisle gently sat me up and firmly held me in his arms. There was someone else holding my legs, and another holding my arms.

My eyes didn’t want to open anymore, but I forced them to, and looked at Edward. He was looking at me, holding my left arm gently in his hands. “I’m sorry, Bel,” he said quietly. Then, he brought his cold lips to my skin.

Somehow, this was the absolute _worst_ of the burning.

I screamed and writhed, trying to physically get away from the fire that was now moving at an alarmingly fast rate to my left arm. Carlisle and whoever else kept me still despite my attempts. I felt like a fish flopping in a net on dry land.

Trapped. Dying. Slowly.

Another year could have passed, and the pain gradually began to recede. With the slow recede, my thrashing eventually calmed.

Soon, I was a limp body that felt like bacon that was burned too crispy. A welcome numbness overcame my body, then, and I would’ve welcomed it with open arms, if I knew where my arms were.

Meanwhile, I felt myself losing consciousness. It was like I was falling in reverse, from the floor to a lovely bed.

“Edward,” I whispered. “M’sorry.”

“No, Bel, none of that. Not now. Rest, now, please.” I felt Edward’s hand gently brush some hair away from my face. His voice sounded so straine.

The fire was put out, thankfully. I was still falling up towards that bed.

“Video,” I mumbled. “He made...video. Watch it. Alice…”

“I’m right here, Bel,” Alice said gently somewhere near my face.

“Video, Alice...video…”

“It’s time to move him,” Carlisle said. “Start the fire, Jasper.”

“Yes, father.”

The last thing I remembered before finally reaching that gloriously luxurious bed was the smell of gasoline, and the gentle coldness that touched my forehead.

— • —

I dreamed.

One dream made no sense in correlation to another. Some made sense and some didn’t, and I wouldn’t be able to recall all of them. There was a small number that stood out to me.

I was being hunted. Not by vampires, this time, but by witch hunters. A whole mob of them, with pitchforks and torches, the whole nine yards. They’d gathered me in the village square, tied me up to a stake.

They were all yelling at me, throwing whatever they could find. But I heard nothing. I could see their mouths move, could see their brows crease in rage.

Silence.

The town pastor gave his silent speech, most likely condemning me for witchcraft. Then, the executioner stepped forth, torch in hand, and slowly marched towards me. Those were the first sounds I heard in that dream, each of his footsteps and the crackle of the fire.

When he was just before me, he lowered the torch to the kindling below my feet, and I was set―

“―a blazing bonfire was really what every beach party needed.”

I was on First Beach back in La Push, sitting on the same bleached log I sat on when Jake re-introduced himself to me. He was sitting directly next to me, and we were soaking up each other’s body heat.

We had a blanket wrapped around us both, and I huddled into his warmth. He had an arm around my shoulder, and was teasing me for not bringing a jacket. I nudged his ribs with my elbow.

“Ow, Bels. Is that anyway to treat your personal space heater?”

“It is when my personal space heater is being a dick.” Angela, sitting on my other side, giggled.

“Can you believe this guy?” Jake asked her, eyeing me dramatically.

I looked at Angela to see her expression as she spoke, but she wasn’t there anymore. In fact, as I looked around the bonfire, the rest of my friends that were previously with me were gone, too.

“Angie? Jess? Eric?”

As I said each name, things began disappearing. Other logs, random rocks, the fire, clouds in the sky, trees. Each thing just blinked out of existence, leaving only white, empty nothingness in its place.

“Jake, what’s happening?” I turned my head to my right, fully expecting to see Jake directly beside me, but only there was nothingness. Only the blanket remained wrapped around my shoulders.

I was sitting on nothing, and then I was falling―

“―down, he’s waitin’ for ya!” Charlie bellowed up to the top of the stairs. He looked at me with an apologetic smile, and said, “Sorry, there, Beltrán. He’ll be down in just a moment. Want something to drink?” The human walked to the kitchen, and I followed.

“No thank you, Mr. Masen,” I said. I sat down at the kitchen table as indicated by Charlie, and he joined me after pouring himself a glass of water.

“So.” Charlie leveled me with a careful look. “I take it that you’re sweet on my boy, huh?”

I chuckled softly, a usual sound humans make when they’re happy and in agreeance with what someone else had said. I nodded. “Yes, sir, I am. Edward is definitely special to me.”

Charlie’s piercing eyes found mine, and I perfectly saw my reflection in them. My golden eyes showed nothing but the clear adoration I held for his son.

He didn’t say anything. He just stared at me with that same look. Then, his expression softened. “You really mean that, don’t you, kid?”

I chuckled. “Very much so, Mr. Masen. I’m pretty lucky to have met him at all.”

Charlie smiled, and I could see what Edward meant. He really did look so much younger when he smiled.

I heard Edward close his bedroom door upstairs, as well as each step down the stairs. He paused in the kitchen doorway, and chuckled. That was when I looked over at him, and I smiled warmly at him.

“I, uh, hope my father wasn’t giving you a hard time, Bel,” Edward said. He ruffled his reddish hair, a nervous habit of his. Cute.

“Not at all, Eds,” Charlie said, grinning. He used a finger to draw a circle above his head, a halo. Edward sighed, shaking his head.

“We’re going to head out, then. I’ll be back before ten.”

“Sounds good, kid.” To me, Charlie said, “Look out for my boy, will ya?”

“Of course I will, Mr. Masen.”

He winced at the title, and I laughed internally. “Please, call me Charlie.”

“Charlie. Until next time, then.” I stood, and went to join Edward in the living room. He took my hand, and gently led me outside. Just beyond the front door, he stopped to look down at me with a curious smile.

“You are something else, Bel.” His heart began beating faster, a sound of music to my ears.

By now, the smell of his blood, while still tantalizing as that first day, was more like a perfume than the scent of an appetizing meal. I inhaled his scent deeply, and smiled.

He smelled like the forest, which appropriately matched his evergreen eyes―

―watching me at every turn.

I ran as fast as my legs would carry me, but it never felt like it was enough.

I dared to look behind me, and saw her fiery hair far off in the distance.

I looked forward, and there she was, in front of me.

In my effort to stop running, I fell backwards, and I tried to scoot away from her.

She smiled. Her eyes never left my face. She slowly stalked forward―

“―to me?” I couldn’t understand what I was seeing.

Right in front of me were the Cullens in their living room, all standing around in a circle, facing each other. And in the center was...me.

But I was right here, too! Wherever here was...

I looked at the back of Edward’s head, and suddenly I was on the opposite side of the circle of vampires, and I had a proper view of Edward’s face.

I was horrified.

His mouth was bloody, and he had some blood splatters on his shirt. He wasn’t the only one.

To his right was Alice, and she had a bloody lower lip. On Edward’s left was Emmett, also bloody. When I thought of Rosalie, I was suddenly in front of her and her barely bloody face, too. Jasper and Esme had blood dripping down their chins and necks.

Only Carlisle was bloodless, and I was suddenly in Carlisle’s exact position so that my gaze was his.

I saw the circle of his family in front of me. Carlisle and I looked down at me in the center of this circle, and we felt immensely saddened by the sight.

I was on the floor, laying there, crumpled and nearly lifeless. We could hear my ragged breathing, could hear my heartbeat wind down in a gradual decrease, could see the blood still spilling from the numerous bite marks that littered my naked body.

I was curled up in a tight ball, trying to protect myself. My hair was sprawled about the floor around my head, soaking up blood. It looked like a sickening halo, in a way.

“C-Car...lisle…” I weakly said, my eyes looking at us. I weakly raised a hand to us for a second before it limply fell to the floor. The splash of blood echoed in our ears.

“I am so, so sorry, Bel,” we said, our combined voices taking on a deep, disturbing timbre. “Infinitely sorry.” The hunger burned too strongly, and we felt venom pool in our mouth. We thought about how we could afford ourself one human.

Just one.

We kneeled down, easily took one of my arms in hand, and―

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> It really seems that I'm fond of a cliffhanger, don't it? No? Just me? Okay. XD


	15. I Want Your Stupid Love

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Chapter 14
> 
> Waking up in the hospital is never fun. Hospitals themselves aren't really fun. Bel wakes up in one, confused and a little banged up.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> By this point in time, I have had five chapter titles somehow reference a lyric to a song I like, six including this one. This one might be obvious, as would one other chapter title. The remaining four might be hard to guess, though good luck to anyone who might figure them out!
> 
> Lemme know in the comments if you have figured out any, maybe? :D

Bright light was what woke me up, initially. It shined through my eyelids, and I had no idea why it was so bright in the first place. My eyes slowly opened.

I had no idea where I was.

The room was too bright, plainly white, and had long curtains drawn over the windows. Next to catch my attention was an annoying beeping sound, followed by the sight of an IV drip on my right.

It was the tubes going into my nose that confirmed my gradual suspicion.

“Fucking hospitals,” I rasped, letting my eyes close with a shaky exhale. “Ow.”

“What hurts, Bel?” My eyes snapped open, and Edward was peering down at me, concern tattooed across his face. His eyes were noticeably black, and they were scanning my face.

“Edward,” I whispered. “What happened?”

“You put yourself in danger, is what happened.” While there was a casual bite to his words, I heard the absolute worry behind them. I chuckled, then groaned due to the pain it caused me.

“What hurts?”

“Breathing. Laughing. I can’t remember anything…” I tried to access my memory of the last few hours, but nothing came to me.

“We were almost too late.” Edward’s whispering sounded so anguished. “Alice wasn’t able to see the amount of traffic we had to go through.” He barked a small laugh, a bitter sound.

“My home videos,” I said suddenly. A memory returned. “He used them to bait me. He didn’t have my mom.”

“And yet you still went right into his trap, Bel.” He leaned down a little. “That was very foolish of you. I hope you know that.”

“Jasper said I had moxie.”

“Of course he did,” Edward muttered, glaring a little off to the side.

_Jasper and Alice. The others! James!!_

I lowered my voice, which was already low to begin with. “What’s the story, Edward? What am I telling the doctors?”

“Ah, right. Esme took you to visit your mother as planned, but she wasn’t home. You both opted to stay in town for as long as you had the hotel room, hoping she'd return soon. You offered to show Esme around town. You illegally crossed an empty street away from the main roads when a car came speeding down out of nowhere and hit you, as Esme had already crossed over. They drove right off. Hit and run.”

I sighed slowly, and it didn't hurt as much. “That sounds like me. What's the damage?”

“A broken leg, three cracked ribs, and minor trauma to the head that otherwise checks out well. It explains the missing memory you actually have and provides a neat cover story.”

_That explains why my left leg feels so heavy. And why breathing hurts._

The feel of James’s thumb across my lower lip came to mind, and I repressed a shudder. My ribs thanked me for it.

“A-And the tracker?”

Edward smirked, though it wasn’t with humor. It seemed mildly annoyed. “I managed to pull him off of you, at least. I went to your side with Carlisle after that. Jasper and Esme restrained him while Alice tore off his head and arms. James is dead.”

“You don’t seem happy about that,” I pointed out, scrutinizing him.

He sighed. “I’m electing to be a little immature, is all.” He paused. When we made eye contact, Edward pierced me with his onyx gaze. “ _I_ wanted to be the one to end his existence. That’s all.”

I held out my left hand, the IV-less arm, and he gently placed his cold hand in mine. I squeezed it with as much pressure I could muster, three times.

Edward gasped softly at the gesture, and instant recognition flashed across his eyes.

All went quiet for a minute. I was getting mildly anxious.

I knew what Edward was thinking of, just then. And I was inwardly pleased that he remembered that at all.

One evening that Edward snuck into my room, I told him that my youngest uncle, who I called “Tomato,” often squeezed my hand three times whenever I was sad or scared as a kid. Tomato would go through such patient and kind effort to make me genuinely feel better in those moments, it clearly stuck with me these years later.

“It became our thing,” I had told him, a bright smile on my face as I fondly thought back on the memory.

Edward leaned down, peering into my eyes at a close vantage. “Is that true, Bel?”

I nodded meekly, forcing myself to hold eye contact with him. I spoke in whispers.

“Going through a near-death experience just...helped me realize it. I knew he didn’t have Renée, but I still put myself in danger for my mom. In case she came home early. I couldn’t let him have that chance of hurting her, not when it was me he wanted.”

I took a necessary breath, as I felt myself getting choked up with emotion; the heart rate monitor spiked a little because of it. I was dimly aware that the nurses and doctors would check that and ask about it, and calmed myself before continuing.

“Equally as important, I didn’t want any of you to get hurt, either. And I can guess that you’re upset that I got myself hurt in the process, but in the end, my half-brained plan kinda worked.” I tried for a chuckle there, but that hurt. I hissed at the dull ache that brought in my chest. “Kinda.”

Edward searched my eyes for a long moment after that. I had no idea what he was looking for. He took a shaky breath himself, and exhaled slowly.

“Well. Ideally, I wanted you to be the one unscathed, as my kind has an easier time healing from vampire-induced injuries than your kind.”

He gave me a hard look, then, and I just smiled as innocently as I could. The corner of his mouth lifted, and I took it as a win.

“It seems that, in the end, your recklessness is what inadvertently saved you from nonconsensual immortality.”

“I suppose it would be weird to thank myself, then.” That made Edward chuckle while shaking his head.

“Perhaps a little.”

“Ah. Well, in that case, thank you, Bel. Oh, no need to thank me, Bel. Bel, I insist!”

There it was, my favorite, crooked smile of his. “Have I ever told you that you truly are absurd, Bel?”

I puckered my lips in faux-thought. “You might’ve mentioned it before. It’s hard to tell, though, what with my minor head trauma.”

“Very funny,” he said with dry, but amused, sarcasm.

“It’s a little funny. Little bit.” He just playfully glared at me. “Anyways. Back to my original point.”

Edward raised an eyebrow at me, and I could see the genuine curiosity in his eyes.

_I wonder just how much he dislikes the fact that he can’t read my mind…_

I squeezed his hands three times, looked him square in the eyes, and said, “I love you, Edward Cullen. I must, if I’m so easily willing to endanger myself by attempting to take on a red eyed vamp out for my blood.”

“Let’s not have you endanger yourself for any vampire, for that matter. Okay?”

“Mm. I don’t know if I can promise that. There’s at least one vampire I might endanger myself to possibly save, if needed.” I was beaming at him, and my smile grew as I spoke.

“At least one vampire, hm?” Edward was smiling, too. “Lucky vampire, having a reckless human there to save him.” He leaned down more, until he was mere inches from my face. The heart rate monitor picked up again, and we both froze in place at the sound.

Edward slowly looked over to the monitor as it showed the increase of my pulse, and he smirked at me.

“Is something the matter, Bel?” His voice was soft, yet it held a teasing edge.

“N-Not at all,” I whispered. The monitor was beeping at a quicker rate, betraying my words.

“Sure. I suppose I can pretend that we both don’t have a visual and auditory record of your heart’s current activity.” I felt myself blush at that, but the beeping slowed after the blush faded.

Gently removing his hand from mine, Edward then brought it up to gently cup my face; the beeping increased at that alone. I wasn’t able to focus on how embarrassing that was, as I was captivated by Edward’s gaze.

“Some may call it stupid, but I call it something special.” He spoke quietly, gently. “I was ready to offer my heart to you soon after becoming your friend, in all honesty. And while I would prefer that you aren’t bedridden after a hit and run,” Edward allowed himself a brief grin here, “I have waited a little while to say this. My heart is yours, for as long as you are willing to have it. I love you, Beltrán Swan-Delgado.”

It was very hard to ignore the uptake of beeping, but I somehow managed. I whispered, “Would you please kiss me, already?” Edward smiled, his dark eyes absolutely shining.

The beeping went wild when his lips met mine.

— • —

While I would’ve loved to have spent the rest of my hospital stay kissing Edward, we both agreed that it would already be awkward for me to explain to the nurses, so we put a pause on that.

_Damn hospital monitor._

That worked out well, however, as Edward heard my mom of all people quickly tottering down the hall. He went to sit in a chair, pretending to be asleep seconds before Renée quietly entered the room.

At first, she peeked over at Edward’s slumped form before shaking her head a little. This made me chuckle and immediately hiss, and my mom scrambled on over my bedside.

“Bel! You’re awake!” She spoke quietly, and I could easily detect the layers of relief.

“Mom, you’re here! I’m so sorry!” There they were, some tears to go alongside my quivering voice. “I’m so, so, sorry, I just wanted to surprise you with a visit home, not to a hospital.”

Her hands were at my face at once, gently wiping my tears as she gently shushed me.

“No, no, mijo, no. Don’t apologize,” she whispered, crying herself. “I’m just thankful that you’re okay and that you’re awake! We were so worried that you didn’t wake up right away, mijo, I was scared. The doctor said that your head was hurt in the accident…”

My mom took a moment to wipe her own tears away. _God, I really worried her. What a surprise visit, Bel._

“Awake?” I asked, confusion in my voice. “How long was I not awake, then?”

She chuckled a little, a watery sound. “A few days, baby. You were admitted Friday, and it’s Sunday, now.”

“Oh, crap,” I exclaimed with wide eyes. “I was out for two days?”

Mom nodded. “You were unconscious when Esme called for an ambulance. They said your injuries must’ve really been a drain on your mind and body, but they couldn’t be totally sure about your brain until they did a scan. Thankfully, nothing bad came up.”

I chuckled weakly. “Just my luck, huh? Getting hit by a car.” She laughed a little, too, though it mostly sounded sad.

“I’m just so glad that Mrs. Cullen was there with you,” Mom said. “She’s such a lovely woman, my god. And her son is so nice, too.” I nodded to both of these statements. “I still can’t believe Edward flew out to see you.”

At the mention of my boyfriend’s name, Renée glanced back at the pretend-sleeping Edward before looking at me again. “He’s been here in your room for as long as he’s allowed, apparently. Seems awfully nice for _just_ a friend, Bel.”

There it was. That accusatory tone for hers, the one that didn’t accuse outright but had the implication of, “You’re going to explain this later, young man.”

_Shit. What was mom told about me and Edward? And from who?_

I was just very grateful that I managed to keep calm enough to not hear the rapid beating of the heart monitor. Small miracles.

When I didn’t say anything, Mom just laughed.

“Okay, so I won’t ask for the gory details. Is he someone special, Bel?” She whispered this, and boy, did it not matter with Edward anywhere near me.

Meanwhile, I was reeling over her word choice of “gory details.”

My eyes went over to him in the chair, and of course his eyes were open. He grinned and winked at me before feigning sleep again. I looked back to my mom, nodding shyly.

“We may or may not have a thing going on,” I said enigmatically. Mom laughed again.

“I kind of figured. Edward is so polite, mijo. Introduced himself to me as your boyfriend and everything. What a gentleman!”

“Yeah, he’s pretty old school like that.”

“I think that this boy is really in love with you.” Mom was whispering even more, and her lovely brownie eyes were warm as could be.

“I think so, too.” Admittedly, I might have had far more of an idea of that, but I had to play this up for Mom. “A-And I might love him a lot, too.” Didn’t need to act nervous to say that. It was one thing to tell your boyfriend that you loved him.

It was an entirely other beast to tell your mom as much with your boyfriend in the same room, listening.

“I knew it!” She giggled, and lightly flicked my nose. I just smiled at her. “Okay, mijo. That’s all I’ll bug you about. For now.” She meant that, and I’d be hassled later, in private. “I suppose this makes my news a little bittersweet, now.”

“What news, Mom?” I looked at her with sudden worry and curiosity. Renée positively beamed at me.

“Phil got signed! To the Suns, can you believe it?!”

“Oh god, that’s amazing, Mom! He must be so happy! Is he here with you? Lemme congratulate him!”

“No, I’m afraid not. He had lots to do in Jacksonville, and I didn’t want him to miss out on anything important. He sends his love and well wishes to you, though. He said he’d email you, so be sure to check those when you can, okay?”

“Of course! I will.” I frowned a little. “How is that bittersweet, though?”

Mom frowned too.

“Bittersweet for me, really.” It was her turn to look a little bashful. “We’re going to move to Jacksonville, soon, and I wanted you to come with me. But...before that, I just need to know, my Bel.” She searched my eyes for a few seconds, and then asked, “Are you happy living in Forks, baby?”

Oh. _Oh._ This is what she meant by bittersweet.

I don’t know what she saw in my eyes. But in hers, I saw her want to be reunited with her son under the same roof conflict with her desire to ensure that I was happy.

At once, the tears fell silently down my cheeks. I could only nod, initially.

When I found my voice, I said, “Yeah. Yeah, Mom, I am. I-I have some really good friends, now, and I’m doing pretty okay in school. I even reunited with my friend, Jacob Black! Remember him?” She nodded, chuckling at the name.

“Of course I do, baby. I still have pictures of you and him making mud pies together, dirty to all hell!” We both laughed. We both had tears in our eyes and down our faces.

“A-And living with Dad is way more than I could have hoped for. It’s really nice to spend time with him. I missed him more than I thought I did, honestly. And…” I looked at Edward, and thankfully his eyes were still closed. I looked back to my mom. “I _am_ happy in Forks. It’s...it’s very nice.”

It felt like I had more to say, but I also didn’t want to oversell it and maybe hurt my mom’s feelings in the process.

We just stared at each other for a few infinite seconds. Then, Mom reached for my left hand, giving it a gentle squeeze.

“That’s all I want for you, mijo,” she whispered. “I want you to find all the happiness this world can give you, and then some more. Be happy, be healthy, and be safe. That’s all I could ever ask of you.”

Mom leaned down to ever so gently place a loving kiss to my forehead, then a smaller one to my nose. She stood at her full height, smiling a mother’s smile.

She didn’t let my hand go, nor did I release hers.

“Okay, my Jelly Bean,” Mom said, sniffling only a little. “Okay. Well, speaking of Forks.” She patted my hand with her free one, and we simultaneously relinquished our holds.

Mom dove into her purse for some tissue, handed me some, and we both cleaned our faces up. She took my tissue and threw them both away.

“Your dad is down in the cafeteria with Esme. I’m gonna go let them know that you’re awake, okay?” _Dad is here too? Fuck._ “Oh, I’ve been staying at that nice hotel with Esme, by the way! We’ve been able to talk so much, it’s nice to have a new acquaintance!”

“That’s neat, Mom! I’m glad. Esme really is such a gem.” Mom nodded. “But why are you staying there?”

She frowned, and leaned down again to whisper. “There’s been some crime in our neighborhood, and it has me a little on edge.”

My eyes widened. “What crime?”

“Remember that dance studio around the corner? The one where you took tap dancing lessons?” I nodded, growing more and more alarmed. “Some sick asshole burned it to the ground, there’s nothing left of it! They even left a _stolen car_ out front! Can you believe that?”

Suddenly, the memory of smelling gasoline suddenly made sense. _James._

“That’s so scary, mom,” I whispered. “Are you going back to Florida after this?”

“Yeah, as soon as you're discharged.”

“Good, I’m glad. Be sure to let Phil know that I’m okay!”

“I will. I’m gonna give him a call today. But how are you feeling, baby? You’re not in too much pain, are you?”

I shook my head. “Just laughing and breathing too much isn’t really fun. My ribs, and all.”

That made her frown. “Maybe I’ll see if a nurse can check you over, then. Okay. I’ll be back.” She knelt down to kiss my forehead again. “Te quiero mucho, mijo. Con todo mi corazón y toda mi alma.”

That made me smile really big. “Yo también, mamá. Con todo mi corazón y toda mi alma.”

I really didn’t know much Spanish, in all honesty. But as far back as I can remember, this was something Mom would always say to me in Spanish. It was one of the few things I could say confidently.

_I love you so much. With all of my heart and soul._

That was something just for the two of us. Always has been, always will be. That precise moment told me as much, even with us eventually being on opposite sides of the country.

With one last look at me and a glance to Edward, my mom left the room. A second passed, and then Edward stood where she previously did, his hand lightly holding mine.

— • —

“Am I crazy for thinking that this just sounded like a goodbye?” I heard the sadness in my voice, and, judging from Edward’s expression, he saw it in my face.

“It wasn’t a goodbye, Bel,” Edward murmured. “Neither of you said or meant a goodbye. It sounded like a mother letting her child go on to live their life, on their own terms. All birds have to leave the nest, or so they say.”

I just looked up at him, silently. He had a valid point, and I took it at face value. I gently ran my thumb along his hand, and he did the same.

“Bel, what are you thinking?” Edward gently asked. “You seem upset.”

“No, not upset. I guess I’m...conflicted. I’m surprised that Mom wanted to ask me to move with her to Jacksonville. In a good way, I mean.” I paused, gathering my thoughts. “Some part of me figured she would just...realize how happy she was with Phil, and maybe forget to bring up my living with them if she moved after all.”

Edward frowned, but didn’t comment. I realized how sad that sounded, yet it was already out there.

And I meant it.

“In a lot of ways, it just felt like she was choosing Phil over me. But I was also the one that urged her to date in the first place. In the end, Phil became her genuine partner through and through. I’m happy for them, on this side of time.”

My smile was completely genuine, as I _was_ happy that they had each other.

“If it’s any consolation, she genuinely is happy for you.” Despite Edward’s soft spoken words, I still had to throw him a little glare. “Er, I didn’t mean to read her mind. Her thoughts were just...very loud. It was hard to ignore.”

I sighed. “Guess I can’t fault you.” He smiled apologetically. “You’re forgiven.”

A knock at the door surprised us both, and then Charlie peeked his head in. His eyes found me at once, and he quickly entered the room. “Bels!” His voice was all choked up.

“Ah. I’ll give you two some privacy.” Edward looked at me for a moment before politely excusing himself, closing the door behind him. At once, my dad came over to my bedside, looking as frazzled as Mom did.

His hands fluttered above me before he settled for taking my left hand in both of his, with a heavy sigh. “Bels, god, kid. I was so worried. We all were! They better catch that sonuvabitch that did this to you, I swear, Bels. I―”

“Dad,” I said firmly, and he quieted. “Fuck that guy in particular, but I’m okay as can be, really.” Charlie was clearly unconvinced.

“That doesn’t stop me from worrying about you, kid.” His voice was gruff, his eyes were glistening. “I was so scared, Bels. Got a call from Mrs. Cullen and she sounded frantic, telling me you got hit by a car so bad it knocked you unconscious! I-I didn’t know what to do, I was frozen. Then I get a call from her husband saying he’s already arranged a flight out for me and Edward, and...a-and....”

Charlie’s hands tightened around my own. I could only watch with owlish eyes as my dad started to cry. His face scrunched up, and he hung his head. His shoulders moved with quiet sobs.

“Longest flight of my life, just not knowin’. Then I get here, you’re not moving, we just see you breathing so slowly… I thought I was gonna lose you, Bels.” He sounded so quiet, so _broken_ at the mere thought.

I was suddenly reminded of the fact that, unlike Renée, Charlie didn’t deal with loss too well.

Well before I was even conceived, Dad became the sole caregiver for his elderly parents.

He slowly lost Grandma Helen to Alzheimer’s. And nearly simultaneously, Grandpa Geoffrey lost his mobility to severe arthritis. They relied heavily on my dad’s care, and it took a toll on him, his marriage, and his pregnant wife.

Four years later, shortly after Renée took me to California, my grandparents died within four months of each other.

Needless to say, Dad was... _devastated_. And I couldn’t blame him, as someone who has seen his fair share of loss, too.

_Oh. I...I wonder if this has to do with...with Jacksonville. Ya know, on top of being hospitalized scaring him as it has._

“Dad, I’m not going anywhere.” The heart monitor picked up in beeping, though Charlie didn’t notice. He was still hiding his face. But after a few minutes of a breathing exercise, Charlie glanced up at me; his eyes seemed...hopeful.

“Dad. I’m _not_ going anywhere. You couldn’t get rid of me if you tried!” I started to laugh, but it quickly became a quick groan of pain. “Ow. Gotta stop laughing.” I closed my eyes til the pain subsided, trying to not breathe too deeply.

Eyes open again, I looked up at my dad. He was staring down at me intently, and I offered a small smile. “That is, if you’d be willing to put up with me on an indefinite basis.”

Charlie sniffled, then graced me with a crinkly eyed smile. “Really, Bels?” He sounded delighted by the notion, but also partially guarded.

“Of course, Dad! Forks is my home, now. I want as much time with my old man as I can get.” It was so nice to tell him this side of the truth; it was easier than upkeeping the vampire lie, at least.

“I just...oh gosh,” Charlie said with a chuckle. “That’s kinda relieving. Your mom said something about Jacksonville, but didn’t give me any details. Just said that you were awake and for me to come up.”

_Leave it to Mom to try and make Charlie sweat without meaning to._

“She wanted to sell me on the move,” I admitted. “But I’m having too much of a great time with you in Forks to ever want to live in _Florida._ ”

That made Charlie laugh. He wiped his eyes with the collar of his shirt. “M’happy to know that, Bels. Really, really happy.”

I cried with Renée, so of course I cried with Charlie. “I love you, Dad. So damn much.”

“Love you, too, Bels. Always.” He leaned down to kiss my forehead and stood up, in time for us to hear a knock.

“Come in!” I called out, and a nurse came. Charlie nodded to him, and stepped back. “Alright, kiddo. I’ll see you in a bit.” He left, and the nurse came over to my bedside to see how I’m doing.

— • —

Look, in all honesty, having a broken bone really just sucks. Especially a leg, good god. I almost wished that James broke my left arm instead. At least he got my non-dominant leg.

Small miracles, I guess.

Carlisle pointed out that the break to my fibula was incredibly clean, and would make healing be a quicker process than usual. “Provided you do as you’re told, of course, and stay off your feet as much as possible.”

Anyways, I was out of commission for about six weeks. Which was neat, as I didn’t want to even imagine hobbling around wet or icy school grounds with crutches. Walking like that surely would’ve killed me.

_What a way to go._

Edward elected to bring me all my school work, as well as to essentially teach me all that I missed. I was a little annoyed at how great a teacher he was, and I told him as much. He just laughed, and joked that if I preferred going to school post-injury, I was free to.

Well, I wasn’t. But despite his teaching prowess, it was kind of nice. I had spent so much time with Edward thanks to his lessons, and he naturally continued to climb into my room each night.

Of course, he insisted on doing just about everything for me, and it nearly drove me mad. It was a long six weeks. Thankfully, I had plenty of other visitors, too.

Charlie, obviously, was keen to spend as much time with me as he could.

As I was temporarily and mostly stuck in my room, Charlie would often have dinner with me there. We’d talk, he’d kick back in my rocking chair to read a newspaper or book, and I gave him as many computer lessons as he could tolerate.

It was such a blast spending so much time with the old man, it really was.

Besides Edward, Alice was the most frequent visitor from the Cullen clan. She often picked the days that no one, other than Edward, would come over, as my friends had no set pattern.

Alice would chat with Charlie enough, just pleasant small talk, before coming up to see me. With or without Edward, Charlie liked Alice a lot, and took an immediate shine to her. Not that I could blame him.

Alice was perfect.

Esme, too, would be the next most frequent Cullen to drop by. She never stayed long. Just long enough to be courteous by human standards. Esme would often bring little treats and meals she concocted from whichever cooking show she watched.

Lovely morsels to further test her cooking prowess as a vampire, but also to leave a good impression on Charlie. Soon enough, she would start bringing him some fish-based meals, and he loved them.

Carlisle, surprisingly, made a few house calls, too. Not too many, as the man had a wild work schedule. But enough to say hi to Charlie, as well as to just check up on me. I saw him maybe once a week.

Some part of me thought Charlie had a casual crush on Carlisle and just didn't know it, but I couldn't be too sure. He sure did have a clear admiration for Carlisle, that’s for sure.

Especially for how passionately he defended the Cullens when I first asked about them months ago.

Angie and Jess each dropped by twice a week, and Eric showed up at least once a week. It was pretty neat!

The girls provided extra tutoring for the classes we shared, as well as any gossip I missed. Jess mostly headed the gossip, but, when the three of them came over at once, she teamed up with Eric to help tutor Angie and I in the other areas we weren’t too confident in.

Jess and Eric had a healthy but fierce competition on who would be valedictorian when we graduated. Ang and I were just glad to get any bit of extra help that we could.

And of course, Jake continued to uphold Black Fridays at my house while I was down for the count. Jake was the first person I called when I got back to Forks, as he had been the most in the dark about things.

Once I sold him the story of my hit and run, Jake was howling with laughter.

“Why are you my best friend again, Jake?” He was still roaring with laughter on the other end of the phone. “My other friends actually cared about the fact that I got hurt, ya know!”

After he was calm enough, though still giggling, he said, “Yeah, but a real friend would also recognize that only _you_ would surprise your mom with a visit to the hospital instead of a simple surprise visit back home.”

The little shit had a point, but I pretended he didn’t exist while he was still laughing at me. Needless to say, he made my Fridays and weekends much more bearable.

While my weekends had a rotating cast (ha, hospital humor) of visitors, Edward was usually the one constant. Those six weekends actually were filled with Edward hanging out with me and whoever else was over, which was the most surprising thing.

Edward became privy to all of the school gossip directly, and verbally, from Jess when she was over. Despite any opinions he had on her more negative traits, Edward found himself growing to like her.

“Verbally hearing Forks High’s gossip directly from the fountain itself is far more entertaining than just hearing her thoughts.” Edward credited her to be a far more animated storyteller in person.

When Angie swung by, she took on a more speaking role than a listening one, which is her preferred side in conversation. Edward found her so fascinating, he kept up an easy stream of questions that Angie was only happy to answer.

“Angela’s mind is so immensely sincere and kind. Her outlook on life is so refreshing,” Edward once marveled to me. “She is a genuine friend to all, and I am so honored to know her, even briefly.”

Eric, however, didn’t have much in common with Edward. What Eric _did_ have was an immense passion for his interests, and Edward happily drank in all Eric had to tell. While Edward knew a lot just in general, niche human interests were things he was in short supply of.

“It’s just good to know as many young people’s hobbies as possible. It further helps us to blend in.” Eric was also just very likable, and was a delight overall.

Most astonishing, however, was the friendship that bloomed between Edward and Jake.

On one hand, I was immensely happy that my best friend and my boyfriend were able to get along so well. On the other hand, they took immense pleasure in telling the other embarrassing stories about me.

When they weren't trying to share dirt on me, Edward would also help tutor Jake in any subjects he needed and Jake would just engage in any conversation he could think of. Jake eventually settled for mechanics.

“Rosalie is actually the mechanic of the family, but she taught me nearly all that she knows,” Edward at some point said to Jake. That sparked one car conversation after another, and off to the races they went.

While I didn’t understand jackshit of their car talks, I would often just reflect on the reality of what was before me: a Cullen and a Quileute descendant in the same space, bonding and forming a friendship. Over mutual interest in vehicles and making me blush.

_Who would’ve thought?_

Briefly going back to the annoyances of a broken leg, I had one major issue.

Showering.

As my house had one bathroom, my cast made cleaning up an annoying challenge. Keeping my cast dry was the easy part, albeit tedious. It was getting in and out of the tub that sucked. Mostly, Charlie was the one who safely helped me clamber in and out.

After that first assisted bathing experience of mine, where there was just too much awkwardness on both of our parts, Charlie soon after got a chair meant for the shower. He also picked up a new, detachable showerhead, which made showering far more enjoyable.

I still mostly needed help getting in and out of the tub, and Charlie was happy to do that much, at least. Whenever Jake was over, he’d help me out, too, when Charlie wasn’t home.

Jake and I obviously became even closer friends than we’d thought possible, and thankfully it wasn’t awkward or anything after the cast was off.

I absolutely refused to even ask Edward for shower help in that regard. No way in hell was I ready to be naked in front of him, even in a medically-assisted context.

_Plus, I don’t think Charlie would be too happy with that, anyways._

— • —

Six weeks came and went, and soon enough, the plaster was removed from my leg. I was only marginally sad, as my friends, Charlie, and the most of the Cullens had all taken to write and doodle on my cast.

While I couldn’t keep the cast, I did take many pictures of all the inked art with a polaroid camera Charlie recently came across. The old man even gave me the camera, and even got me a few things of film for it, too!

Carlisle had managed to take on my medical care after I came back from Phoenix, and he commended me for sticking to all the prescribed homecare. I had a full recovery!

By the time I was back in school, it was already the first week of May. And right away, I was slammed with talk, posters, and flyers all about prom that Saturday. And of course, that Tuesday at lunch came the innocent question from Angela.

“So, Bel! Are you and Edward going to join us at prom?”

Edward, who had been glued to my side for the past six weeks, smirked a little as he looked over at me. He had already accepted the fact that I had made no secret about not wanting to go to prom. Now, he was just amused at what I would say to Angela asking me to go.

He knew I could rarely say no to Angela. I briefly wondered if the two of them were in cahoots to get me to go to prom…

All eyes were on me, waiting for my answer. I wanted to do almost anything else than to answer her question. Almost.

“Uh. W-Well, I wasn’t really thinking about going to prom at all, honestly.” That got me various boos, groans, and disappointed nooo’s.

“Aw, c’mon, Bel!” Jess whined. “You didn’t join us at the Valentine’s dance. And prom only comes once around in high school!”

I raised an eyebrow at her. “Our prom is for the seniors _and_ juniors. We still have next year’s prom, Jess.”

Alice quickly spoke up. “True, but next year, Jasper, Rosalie, and Emmett won’t be here, Bel.” She smiled too sweetly at me, putting on her puppyvamp eyes. “This could be the last time that you could enjoy a school sanctioned activity with _all_ of us _this_ year!”

My mouth slowly fell open at her words, stemming from the fact that they had a double meaning and were carefully chosen as far as I could tell. My human friends didn’t pick up on the extra meaning, but Edward did.

He frowned at his sister, though I wasn’t completely sure why.

“Are you suuure you don’t want to go…?” Eric hesitantly asked, sounding slightly saddened at my possible non-attendance.

I felt put on the spot, because I was.

“I-I mean, even if I did, isn’t it too late to get a ticket?” I was desperately grasping at straws.

“Not at all, Bel,” Jess said, smiling wickedly. “Tickets are still being sold and will _also_ be sold outside the gym! Isn’t that convenient?”

I glared at her. “Shut up, student council vice president.” Jess just laughed. It was stupid to try and tease her at all, let alone for being the VP. Jess took most teasing in stride, and was proud to be the VP.

“Please, Bel?” Angela said softly, her warm, brownie eyes boring into mine.

I was running out of straws.

“It _is_ girls’ choice, Bel,” Edward suddenly said in a stage whisper. “And Angela _is_ asking you to go to the dance.”

Everyone except Angela snorted in response, and I was just dumbfounded by the fact that _Edward_ , of all people, was going there.

“You set me up,” I whispered to him, horror coloring my voice. He just smirked.

“I’m sure I have no idea what you’re talking about.”

_This was a battle you had no chance at winning, Bel._

— • —

In the end, I went to prom.

I wanted to be mad at Angela, but couldn’t find myself to be. I could, however, be mad at Edward, Alice, and Jess for _all_ setting me up for that monumental failure of a battle.

Once our ragtag group found each other at the venue, Angela let it be known that the three of them casually convinced her to ask me about going. She apologized for her involvement, but promised that we’d all have a good time together. I didn’t fault her for wanting me to have fun with my friends.

Everyone knew I couldn’t say no to Angela. Even Angela knew that.

While I refused to wear a full tuxedo, I let Alice pick out the shirt, vest, tie, and shoes I’d wear. So, basically, a tux minus the jacket. She was the fashion coordinator of her family, and I was prone to the same levels of torture, apparently.

“You’re family now, Bel, mortal or not,” she’d told me as she dragged me into the depths of her bathroom. There, she did my hair, gave me a bit of make-up to play up my face, and had my outfit waiting on hangers behind the door.

In the end, she didn’t do a bad job.

Snazzy black leather shoes that were far more comfortable to wear than they looked donned my feet. I had a simple leather belt to hold up black slacks with vertical, dark grey stripes; I liked those, as they made my legs seem longer than they were.

While it was a reluctant compromise on her part, Alice “let me” keep the sleeves of the Egyptian cotton dress shirt rolled up. It was deep black in color, and felt so nice on my arms. The vest was the primary source of color, a red-and-black paisley design with matching bowtie.

I think my hair was my favorite part of this torture.

Alice curled my hair just a bit so that its natural waves were more pronounced, but not unnaturally so. She pulled my hair back into a high bun-ponytail combo thing, fanning out the rest to cascade over my shoulders and down my back. I also had some bangs frame my face on both sides, as a personal request.

Fairly simple in look, personally speaking, but damn. Even doing this much was a lot of work, and I was just sitting in a chair! I commended anyone with long hair that opted to style it intricately on a semi-regular basis or more.

Edward, of course, was more classic.

He had a full tux: black jacket, pants, and a white shirt. To both match and contrast with me, his vest and tie were this stunning, royal blue paisley that reminded me of the ocean.

After pictures of the two of us were taken at my dad’s request, as the others had long since been gone after Alice finished up with me, Edward drove us to the school.

Before we got out of the car, Edward put on my wrist a purple corsage that was seemingly the perfect blend of our red and blues vests. He produced another one that I happily slid onto his wrist, too.

I wasn’t expecting much, given that our school’s budget wasn’t a big one for such a small school, but I was impressed. Balloon archways, streamers everywhere, banners, table centerpieces, crepe paper garlands along the walls. The whole nine yards.

“Why am I, at least, here again?” I asked Edward as we walked about the gym, hand in hand. The music was blaring, and I didn’t need to raise my voice, but I felt compelled to.

“Do you want a serious answer or a silly one?”

“Silly.”

“Then you’re here to have the time of your life with your friends, spike the punch, and enjoy dancing with your boyfriend.”

“I wanted a silly answer!”

“Spiking the punch _is_ silly!” He grinned at me, and I rolled my eyes.

Even without him answering my dumb question, we all enjoyed ourselves. Rosalie and Emmett, Alice and Jasper cut a huge hole in the dancefloor numerous times with them throwing out older moves that in no way matched the modern music that was playing.

It went without saying that they all looked stunning, the boys in their classic tuxedos, but the girls shined the most in their unique dresses.

Rosalie wore this scarlet, backless number that hugged her figure down to her just above her knees before bursting out into a ruffled train. It had a neckline that plunged down to her waist, but tastefully so; it certainly played well to human eyes, at least.

And Alice wore this white satin dress that had geometric cutouts that lovingly contrasted and revealed her dark skin. The cutouts weren’t too big and they weren’t scandalously placed, but she also had plenty of eyes on her, too.

Edward took me for a few slow dances, as well, with him being the obvious lead. I was a clumsy mess, but he was a patient teacher. 

My friends eventually got tired of Edward hogging me, and pulled me away from him while he went to go dance with his siblings. It was hilarious to see the contrast between wildly flailing humans at upbeat songs vs. the spontaneous choreography of the vampires at any given song.

Needless to say, I _did_ have the time of my life. And the prom was made perfect when Edward told me I had a surprise visitor.

Confused, he turned me around just in time to see Jake strutting on over to the beat of a song. He was wearing a white button-up and black tie with jeans, and had his hair drawn back in his usual ponytail. I wondered how he even got inside looking like that.

“He’d just like to chat,” Edward said with a laugh at my ear. I looked at him curiously, but he zipped his lip. “Nice to see you again, Jacob,” he said when Jake was close enough.

“Likewise, Edward! Lookin’ pretty dapper, there.” Jake smiled at him, then turned to me. “Nice to see you, Bel, and you’re looking especially dolled up. Very beautiful, man.”

I snorted, and rolled my eyes. “Blame all of this on Alice.”

“More like thank her.” He winked, and I laughed. “Mind if I snag Bel for a dance or two, Edward?”

Edward smiled. “Not at all. I owe my brothers a dance each, anyways.” He kissed my cheek once before leaving us be.

Grinning and laughing, Jake took a hand of mine in his and put the other at my waist, with my free hand automatically finding his shoulder, and we settled to just dumbly move around to the slow song.

“Holy hell, Jake, you got a bit taller!” I said after I realized my eyes had to look up just a little more than I was used to. He preened at that.

“I know, isn’t it great? Makes sense. Even my sisters are tall.” He snorted. “Dad got the short end of the stick, literally.” I giggled.

“So what brings you here, party crasher?” That question easily made Jake tense up. Then he sighed.

“Look, don’t be mad at me, okay? Really.” My brows scrunched together in concern, but I nodded. “Okay. Remember how I said that my dad was a suspicious old man?”

Jake once told me that Billy had weird suspicions about the Cullens, stuff that Jake wasn’t really sure about himself. Once he got wind that I was dating Edward, Billy had this weird tension whenever we saw or spoke to each other and I mentioned Edward.

Billy clearly didn’t approve of my relationship, though it was clear that Jake didn’t know why, or that he at least didn’t share those suspicions.

I did, however. “Yeah, you said that some older members of the tribe didn’t like the Cullens for some reason.”

“Well. He paid me to come down to your prom to just...warn you.”

“Warn me?” I chuckled. “What about?”

“He’s not too happy about you and Edward, no matter how much I tell him to butt out of your love life. He said, and I quote,” Jake took his hand off my waist to put up air quotes as he said, “ _We’ll be watching._ ”

That just made me laugh, and I shook my head.

“Wow. Well, consider your message delivered. What’s the payment, anyways?”

“Forty bucks and the master cylinder I needed for the Rabbit.” His grin was sheepish, but he was happy about his car, too.

“Well, Billy better pay up! And I expect to be picked up in the Rabbit when it’s officially done, okay?”

“You know it, Bels!”

After that, we danced, if one could call it that, for a few more songs, as I was just happy to see Jake. We talked about how dumb this prom really is, and had a riot over roasting the decorations.

Soon enough, though, Jake had to head out, as he got a ride from a friend. I promised to see him tomorrow, and he was gone.

Before I could even put my hands down to my side, Edward picked them right back up, leading me into a makeshift waltz completed with a spin and dip.

While I was sure I was blushing, I also enjoyed that way more than I should have. He righted me, and continued to lead us.

“I imagine that you heard all of that?” I asked him, already knowing the answer. He nodded, grinning.

“Forgive me for reading his mind, but I had to be sure if Jacob believed his father or not. He thankfully doesn’t.” Even I sighed a little in gratitude. “And he certainly is happy about that car of his. He was wrong about one thing he said, though.”

I frowned, and tried repeating all he told me in my head.

Edward chuckled, and kissed me. “You’re _gorgeous_ , Bel, not just beautiful,” he whispered.

That had me blush right away, and my brain short-circuited a little.

I still had some trouble accepting compliments about my appearance from Edward. But the more and more he said those things to me, the more I began to entertain the idea that I was attractive, after all.

To Edward, at the very least. And that seemed like a good starting point for my shitty self-esteem.

Maybe.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> WOOOOOO BOY! And here we are! At the end of what would be the first Twilight book! And in ten chapters less than the actual book, I might add. I feel kinda proud for that.
> 
> I previously wondered if I should segment my story into parts, to emulate the four-book formula of the Twilight Saga. At this point, though, I more like the idea of one massive fic encompassing the entirety of the story. Besides, my story will most likely be shorter in terms of the number of chapters than the entire Saga combined. x3
> 
> Anyways, fear not, lovely readers! I'm gonna keep on trucking, as I have no current intention to slow down on writing nor do I have a life to take me away from writing! Except for video games, youtube, and netflix maybe...
> 
> BBBBAU rides on! And thank you so much to whoever has kept up with Bel this long! I appreciate you so much!! :D


	16. A Thousand Cuts

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Chapter 15
> 
> Here, we catch up with some of the happenings of Bel's life in Forks since Prom! Halloween is around the corner, and Bel has experienced some hurt from an unexpected source...

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> WELL HELLO, THERE, Y'ALL!! :D
> 
> Here we are, in what would be parts of New Moon, technically speaking! I have to admit, I didn't think Halloween would literally be around the corner here in the real world by the time I started writing this chapter vs today, when it's being posted. Genuine coincidence, tbh. XD
> 
> I hope you enjoy! Kindly leave a comment with your thoughts and opinions, maybe!

It bowled me down inside, when I realized why that sound was haunting me.

I had dreamt about it once before in the last year.

And I remembered the exact night I had that nightmare.

It hadn't left me alone ever since.

I felt like Captain Hook running on water and away from that wretched sound.

Only now, the count to twelve would bring about a different end from that nightmare’s.

Another end I wouldn't survive.

It was too early for those words.

The sound continued on.

This was it.

Its eleventh echoed.

My lungs heaved.

And I screamed.

— • —

If I were to look back on that part of my life, I wouldn’t have believed any of it. How could any of it be true?

If anyone told _me_ any of that, I couldn’t be sure that I’d believe them.

Who would?

At the same time, there was a part of me that was forever changed by this knowledge, unconditionally.

I couldn’t disbelieve anything like it, or beyond, anymore. Knowledge of it was with me, irrevocably.

Except. I had paid a cost.

If I didn’t have the support that I did, well…

Let’s just say that I maybe got lucky, for once in my life.

Maybe twice.

Maybe…

— • —

The second half of my junior year came and went. The first six months of my life in Forks had gone one fairly well, all things considered. Minus a few things, maybe.

October, for example, was the most interesting month in terms of social events!

Two weeks before Halloween, on the fourteenth, juniors and seniors would wake up to a single envelope in their mailbox that morning. Well before the mail would even be delivered, for that matter.

Each onyx envelope had handwritten calligraphy on the front, with the full name being gothically written out in stunning scarlet.

Naturally, the red ink realistically looked like dripping blood written by a professional hand.

Inside was a scarlet sheet of paper, informing their intended recipients that the invitation was from the Cullens. Black, dripping ink detailed the address of the Cullen residence, directions, and, most importantly, when it was.

On that morning of the fourteenth, it felt like the entire school was talking about the red and black invitations. And this occurred _before_ the second class of the day.

_Small towns are so efficient at producing gossip fresh from the rumor mill._

“October 29th?” Eric had asked at our lunch table later that day, though he was staring straight at me.

Each of my friends had their invitations on the table, face up. Their elegantly scrawled, bloodied names beckoned at their respective recipients, almost tauntingly.

All eyes were on me. I had to use every bit of my willpower to not laugh at their foreboding expressions. I nodded once to Eric’s question.

“A-At their house?” Angela squeaked, pushing her glasses up her nose with a shaky finger.

“I’ve never even seen their house,” Jess whispered, looking paler than usual.

“ _No one’s_ seen their house,” Eric stated dramatically.

“Except one.” All eyes whipped to Angela, who was staring straight at me. All eyes quickly followed their gazes back to me.

Slowly, oh so slowly, I smiled the creepiest thing I could muster. I didn’t acknowledge their words, just played into their collective fear before giggling.

“Oh man, y’all are hilarious, I couldn’t keep it up anymore,” I said when I started laughing, and that seemed to break the eerie spell over them. They laughed, but it was a little forced.

_Got ‘em._

I explained to them that, after asking Dr. & Mrs. Cullen if I could throw a Halloween party at their house, they said I could. That they even volunteered to help decorate and stuff! How incredibly sweet of them, right, oh my gosh!

At least, that’s what my friends thought.

What really happened was that Emmett jokingly talked to Alice about throwing a big surprise party for my birthday. Almost at once, I threw a pillow right at his face. And Alice loved the idea a bit too much.

Even worse? She and Emmett both convinced me to say yes to the Halloween party.

Knowing I wouldn’t forgive her if she actually threw me any surprise party, Alice figured a huge Halloween party would be cooler. Carlisle figured it couldn’t hurt, presuming that his family filled themselves up during extra hunting trips hours beforehand.

Instantly, a spark lit up in all of the Cullens. They were all on board with the idea of throwing a party! And I _do_ mean _all_ of them.

After initial talk about the details of the party were hammered out, Edward, Alice, and I formed the planning squadron. The first thing I asked for was their budget, and Alice casually told me that I needn’t even think of it.

“So long as this party won’t be pushing any legal boundaries, anything is possible, Bel,” she had told me with a wink.

“Do you have room for one more?”

At once, I looked to the source of the quiet voice, and was utterly surprised to see Rosalie standing at the opposite end of the dining room table. She smirked, but it softened up a little bit.

“I’ve always been fond of Halloween,” she said, looking at me. “My father was a successful man that threw all kinds of parties in our home. My mother and I always planned them, and he was very pleased. I, um. I’d be happy to help you plan things out, Bel. I-If you’ll have me on, that is.”

It was the most she’d ever say to me in those few months of knowing her and trying to somehow engage with her. I didn’t take her rejections to heart, as Edward told me that she had a difficult time in opening up to anyone other than Emmett.

Yet there she was, casually opening up about her father, however briefly. I knew an olive branch when offered one, and I kindly accepted her offer.

With Rosalie on board, I was promised that this party would be next level.

And that is _exactly_ what I told all the seniors and juniors I know whenever they asked about the party. After that, it was all the students could talk about for the next two weeks leading up to the twenty-ninth.

Freshmen and sophomores grumbled at the idea of missing out while contemplating party crashing, or desperately hoping to be someone’s guest. Juniors and seniors, however, were scrambling to find or make a Halloween costume.

And they all whispered about the mysterious and creepy Cullen house.

It was a good thing that the eleventh and twelfth grade students were still a small portion of Forks High’s total population. They would probably all comfortably fit in and out of the Cullen house, even accounting for those that wouldn't attend.

Whenever I’d visit their home during this transient period, Edward regaled us all with the funniest reactions he’d heard using just his ears. We then badgered him for some overheard thoughts, too, and those were even _funnier_!

I had such a blast, in all honesty, it was so great.

While Edward, Alice, Emmett, and Rosalie were _very_ excited, Jasper was a little nervous.

Since graduating back in June, Jasper was rarely around so many humans in a single setting. He was minutely hesitant to be around so much emotion and hormones in a condensed space.

Especially in his own home, where the Cullens didn’t need to fake being human.

All I could really do was remind him he didn’t even need to stay for the entire party, should he go. That he could stay long enough to test the mood of the house. If he felt comfortable in it, he’d stay longer until he didn’t want to anymore.

It was nice that Jasper included himself at all, simply because he knew it would make Alice, most of all, happy. But the fact that he knew that I’d be happy if attended was sweet of Jasper, too.

In all reality, I presumed that neither Jasper nor Rosalie would go, and I was okay with that possibility. But they both were, and my excitement only grew.

One thing I had to do, though, was keep up the ruse about the older Cullen-Hales.

Emmett, Jasper, and Rosalie were to go to college (again) for the sake of appearances. They were to pursue higher education in the Spring semester instead of Fall, and had traveled parts of Europe over the summer.

A typical, college-age thing to do for fresh high school graduates!

In reality, Emmett and Rosalie went to Emmett's hometown in Tennessee to determine if the orphanage he grew up in was still there. It was long since abandoned of course, but he still liked to check on the building itself every handful of years.

His adoption back in the early 1900s was something I wanted to ask him about, but I didn’t know how to bring that up!!

Emmett and Rosalie  _ did _ travel Europe after their Tennessee venture, while Jasper elected to stay at home. He was a simple kind of guy, and was more than happy to just be with his family and wife.

Which was still a little strange to think of, as any of the Cullen-Hales as a married couple considering they were technically still teenagers. But I digressed!

Anyways. The Thursday before the party, I decided to be a little brave.

Considering Jake’s minor friendship with Edward was chugging along, I figured I would ask the Cullens if I could invite him, too. I felt bad for waiting mere days before the party to even bring it up to them, but I was incredibly anxious about it.

I put it off for as long as I could, and I was running out of time.

“I-I know that Billy might not be too fond of the idea,” I had told them all that evening. I remember biting my lip constantly, my fingers fidgeting as I spoke. “But Jake _is_ my best friend. Even if he can't go, I'd still like to invite him...if that’s okay with you all.”

Unsurprisingly, Rosalie and Jasper voted no. Even Emmett had to side with his mate and brother, there. I was saddened, but I moved on with the voting.

Alice said yes, as there was only a slight chance of a single, negative future happening. She didn't tell us about it, but she felt confident that his inclusion wouldn’t be a catastrophe.

Edward, while not liking that small chance, agreed anyways, as he knew how much I would love Jake to be there, too. Esme also said yes, happy to extend an invite to my best friend.

Carlisle, though, was the deciding factor. He said yes.

“Our family has taken more effort to get to know the humans of Forks a little more, it's true. And I believe we have Bel to thank for that.” He smiled at me, and I just smiled back. “It could be a temporary olive branch to the Quileutes that know of the treaty. We will send an invitation to Jacob Black.”

I was ecstatic.

This meant that I got to see first hand who penned each envelope and invite, and I was surprised by who suddenly had a card in their hands.

“ _Emmett_? _You_ wrote out each invitation?” I asked incredulously.

He frowned at me. “Why the surprise? Yeah, I did 'em. Are they not what you were hoping for?” His voice became filled with concern, and his forehead scrunched up in stress. “I worked so hard on these…”

I threw my hands up as I quickly shook my head.

“No, no, noooo, Emmett, they're boo-tiful! Spooktacular, even! I just didn't know that you knew calligraphy, is all. Your work is astounding, Emmett, honest!” I was beaming at him, immensely impressed by his penmanship.

That made him grin real big. “Good! I'm glad. Thanks, Bel, that's real kind of you.” He raised a closed fist, and I instantly bumped mine to his.

“Yeah, no problem, man!” When he was done and the ink had dried, he handed me the invite.

“You better deliver that yourself, Bel. None of us will be able to.”

“Of course! Thanks for making it, Emmett. And for allowing Jake an invitation at all,” I said with a smile to the rest of the room.

When I was taken back home that evening, I kissed Edward goodbye before hopping in good ol’ Grandpa Chev, and I drove straight to La Push.

On the drive there, I had to reflect more on life in the last few months.

“Where to even begin?” I muttered to myself. I caught a small smile in the rearview.

— • —

Oh! I suppose there was an important thing to note!

While Angela was too late (and too nervously shy) to ask that mystery girl of hers to prom, she _did_ tell me that she confessed to the girl a few days later. I squealed when I heard that.

“And?! What did she say?” It was hard to keep my voice low, even from the comforts of my own room that day.

Ever so bashfully, Angie said, “S-She said that I was the first girl to ever have feelings for her. But…” I was damn near vibrating in excitement, but I wilted a bit when Angie sighed. “She wasn’t sure she could return my feelings. So, we’re still friends.”

I could sense her disappointment beneath the taking-it-in-stride front she was putting up. I patted her knee in sympathy.

“That’s unfortunate,” I said softly. “Still. It’s amazing that you were able to share your feelings with her, Angie, I’m so proud of you! That’s such a big step to take, dude!!”

She wasn’t able to pout too long, not with my sincerity beaming out. “Thanks, Bel. That means a lot.”

We hugged, and, after a few more mushy words of friendship, I took her downstairs for dinosaur chicken nuggets in sandwiches _and_ ice cream sandwiches.

Since that day, Angie had since come out as bisexual to our friends.

“I guess, looking back on my life? I’ve...never really crushed on many guys. Not even any actors― Oh, wait. Leonardo DiCaprio in _Titanic._ ”

“Same here, Angie, my god,” I said. “Kate Winslet, too.”

“Mmm, then who is your biggest celebrity girl crush?” Eric asked.

Angie blushed. “Keira Knightley.”

Jess gasped, looking intently at her. “Because of Elizabeth Swann?!”

Eyes wide with surprise, Angie nodded. “Yeah! How’d you know?”

“We went to see _Curse of the Black Pearl_ together, remember? She was immediately our favorite character, we talked about her for _days_ at sleepovers!”

“Oh my gosh, I totally forgot about that!!” Angie sighed dreamily. “I hope she becomes a pirate in the next movie.”

In retrospect, the fact that Jess was staring intently at Angela at that time should have been an indicator for things.

But, like Angie, I was too wrapped up in thoughts about Keira Knightley becoming a pirate.

— • —

I was smiling to myself as I pulled up in front of Jake’s house. Naturally, Jake was already coming out of the house sporting a big grin, and pulled me into a big hug as soon as I stopped out of my truck.

“I realize it’s impossible to spring a surprise visit on you in my car,” I said with a laugh when he let me go. “But some things are worth it.”

“Oh? A surprise for lil ol’ me?” Jake asked, blinking his eyes repeatedly. “Bels, you shouldn’t have! Wanna come inside for a bit?”

“Sorry, Jake, not today. I just came to drop this off.” Smiling sheepishly, I ducked into the truck’s cab to snag the black envelope from the passenger’s side. “Here.”

Jake’s eyes widened when he saw his name written so elegantly on the front. “Wow. Is this a formal invite to your funeral or something?” He carefully opened the sealed envelope to pull out the actual invitation.

“Maybe.” I chuckled, nervously scanning Jake’s face as he read the details. “It’s an invite to a Halloween party that I’m co-hosting with Edward and Alice at _their_ place, actually. I know that, um...your dad, um. Yeah.” My voice notably fell, having lost the enthusiasm I began with.

Jake’s face was unreadable as he looked at me. “This Saturday?” He asked quietly.

“I-I’m sorry for such late notice, Jake. I was really anxious about inviting you at all, knowing how your dad feels about the Cullens, and the days just slipped by.” I lightly gnawed at my lip. “S-Still, I wanted to personally invite my best friend, seeing as the seniors and juniors at my school were invited, and all.”

That seemed to animate his face. He snorted, and gave me a knowing look. “Bels, no offense, but you don’t have _that_ many friends. And I’m not a junior or a senior.”

I feigned being offended. “First of all, rude. You don’t know my social life.”

“Yeah, I sorta do, actually.”

“Second of all,” I said more loudly, ignoring his giggles. “The party was really the idea to one of Edward’s brothers and one of his sisters, not mine. I wouldn’t plan a party at all, but they roped me in anyways.”

“Ah, that makes more sense, then.”

“I’d be really happy if my best friend could go,” I said softly. “You don’t even have to wear a costume, I don’t think I will. Although, knowing Alice, she’d probably make me a costume by hand.” _I wished that I was joking. I bet she would._

Jake sighed. “I appreciate the invite, Bels, I do, and I’d love to go. But uh...yeah, no promises, okay?” Jake frowned a little, and I nodded. I wouldn’t get my hopes up, if Billy’s clear dislike of the Cullens upheld itself.

“Yeah, okay. No worries.” I gave him an easy smile. “See you tomorrow for Black Friday, then?”

That got me a big, sunshiney grin. “As if you have to ask. Alright, get outta here, Swan. Go do some homework or whatever.”

I hugged him, and said, “Why don’t _you_ do some homework, twerp.”

“Sure, sure.” That was Jake-speak for “unlikely to happen,” I could just tell by the innocent quality of his voice. And when was Jake ever innocent sounding?

I stuck my tongue out at him as I drove off. He flipped me off, and I yelled, “I love you too, dick!” as I drove off.

Even spending only a few minutes with Jake was enough to lift my mood entirely, no matter what. Jake really was the best friend I always wished for.

_The shithead._

— • —

The drive back home left a lot of time left for more thinking, and it was a mixed bag of thought.

While I wished that Jake would go to the party after all, I vaguely wondered if he was a candidate for being a shapeshifter. I also wondered if the treaty was in violation, seeing as I, a human, knew that the Cullens were vampires _and_ the existence of Quileutes shape-shifters.

I also had to reflect on the fact that I technically shouldn’t know about either, but figured that it was a bit too late for that…

_Oops._

All of a sudden, the thought of two opposing, supernatural factions made me think of my normal, human cafeteria crowd.

While the last few months since my return to Forks had earned me more of a social status, I didn’t have a lot more friends as a result. I was well-known, but in the “small town, hey look, shiny new toy” kind of way. And I have accepted that!

It’s not like I had the endgame goal of collecting as many friends as I could or anything, far from it. I’m so glad to have the two handfuls of friends that I do have, and that number was definitely more than I was originally anticipating.

Which is merely one of many blessings I’ve found in Forks, naturally!

Be that as it may, I still had some detractors. And that was also okay, as I never expected to be liked by most, anyways.

Lauren Miller, for example.

I have no idea what it was that I did to that girl, but she had really grown to dislike me over my short tenure at Forks High. Even more than my first arrival! I had a theory, which stemmed from the fact that I had previously asked her what her deal was with me.

I didn’t get much, other than “Because I just don’t.”

Which, again, was fine. It was unfortunate, but hey. I wasn’t gonna try and get to know someone that wanted nothing to do with me.

No need to set myself up for that emotional pain, right? Right!

That didn’t stop her from being unkind to me anyways. Especially since she and Tyler Crowley began dating officially, which I figured would’ve mellowed her out, as she genuinely liked Tyler so much.

Alas, Lauren had drawn a line against me, and sadly took Tyler with her. He wasn’t an ass or anything, Tyler was rad. He was just very aware of his girlfriend’s short temper, and wanted to spare us all of her ire.

_Kudos to Tyler for that, I guess. He has the patience of a saint._

Joining her and Tyler across that line was, most unfortunately, Mike Newton.

Any progress we had as friends before? Gone. Just gone. Don’t get me wrong, I tried to talk to him, just the two of us, to see what was going on.

I invited him over to my place after school on the twenty-first of September.

He followed me in his car, we parked in front of my house, and I went to invite him in right away. For some reason, Mike refused, and so we talked out front.

Well, I tried to talk to him, at least. Shit quickly hit the fan.

From all the valid questions I was asking, he got defensive and angry. And in his anger, he called me an offensive, specific, _ugly_ word that broke my heart more than anything else.

Needless to say, I absolutely blew up on him.

He could’ve said so much other shit about me that might’ve hurt but I could’ve let slide. Mike could have talked so much shit _to my face_ , and I could’ve forgiven him. If not any time soon, then at some point.

I could have. But Mike showed his true, queerphobic colors that day last month.

Any respect I had for him had burned up in the hateful fire I saw in his eyes. A fire I wish my tears could have extinguished, for I cried up a storm as I verbally tore him a new one.

In retrospect, I probably said some things I shouldn’t have, I have to admit.

At the same time, I had _never_ been so blatantly, openly disrespected and hurt before. Least of all by someone I once considered a friend.

Mike tried to take it back, he tried to apologize, that he didn’t mean what he said. 

I was hurt.

I was upset.

I was conflicted.

But most of all, I had never felt so _worthless_ in the face of someone I knew. So small, insignificant. I remember wishing that a sinkhole would open up beneath my feet and bury me alive.

There was no way in hell that I could accept his bullshit attempt at an apology.

In retrospect, I was glad that I was home alone at the time.

I was glad that only the nosiest of neighbors could’ve been the ones to see me stare angrily as Mike hauled ass away from me in his car. I was also glad that the only thing to hear my absolutely gut-wrenched sobs was the sanctity of my empty house.

I was sad, however, that Charlie found me curled up on the couch, having cried myself to sleep apparently.

And I cried again when I recounted what had happened earlier to him. And a third time to Edward after he snuck into my room later that evening.

That day was an _infinitely_ long day. And that’s putting it mildly.

— • —

By the time I had gotten back to my house, I had been in an endless loop of thought. I killed the engine and just sat in Grandpa Chev, thinking.

This was something I often did when I needed to just gather my thoughts.

I’d step out of the house, hop into the truck’s cab, and just lay out on the bench. At some point, I’d sit up with my notebook in hand to go through the latest entries or to just write.

It must’ve been a little past eight. I’d told Charlie I’d be home well past dinner, which meant him going straight to bed after some post-dinner television.

The house was dark inside. It was an eerie sight with Halloween around the corner.

I turned the truck’s ceiling light on, and nabbed my current notebook from the glove compartment. I stared at the cover before opening up to September’s entries.

Naturally, I frowned deeply at what the twenty-first read.

_SCREW. MIKE. NEWTON._

Those three words were accompanied by some tear stains. I gently ran a thumb over said stains, feeling the sadness that the otherwise empty page soaked up.

Grandpa Chev was suddenly jostled before going still again.

“Oh. _Him_ again,” said the quiet voice that had snuck into the cab with me.

“You know what they say about eavesdroppers, Edward,” I whispered back. “Or, in this case, people who read someone’s diary over their shoulder.” He sighed.

While I briefly recalled nearly having a heart attack the first time―and nearly every subsequent time―that Edward stealthily climbed through my open passenger window, I was glad to have grown used to it.

_And I’m not screaming each time anymore._

“What’s on your mind, Bel?” I didn’t need to see Edward’s face to just know it was furrowed with concern.

I really pondered over his question.

To think a little more, I closed the notebook and set it down on my lap. My eyes peered straight through the windshield, looking out into the darkness.

“It's creepy at night,” I said absently. Edward stayed quiet, familiar with this little exercise of mine.

Since we started dating, Edward had quickly concluded that, when I was asked a serious question about myself when emotionally compromised, I tended to say the first thing that came to mind.

Usually, I said something stupid to try and get a laugh. If not a laugh from him or whoever asked me something, then to at least make myself laugh before I answered.

Laughter was my go-to coping mechanism for otherwise uncomfortable situations. Or, more accurately, it was my preferred ice breakers to the uncomfortable.

Edward learned to humor in those moments.

“Well, there _is_ a monster out there, ya know,” he said gravely.

I peered over at him from the corner of my eye.

“It's true. There's this awful, bloodsucking demon out there that preys exclusively on cute boys out in the night. He could be looking for his next victim right now.”

I snorted. “What a heavenly way to die. Killed off by an attractive demon. Think I could be cute enough for him?”

Edward frowned. Not a theatrical one, his usual whenever we bantered. It was a real one.

“Need I remind you, Mr. Swan, that _you_ are _adorable_?” Edward asked lightly. He lovingly had been trying to ease me out of that kind of humor. _What a guy, right? Ugh. Be still my heart!!_

“Besides, the demon really only wants _one_ cute boy.”

Almost at once, the right half of my mouth upturned in a shy smile despite my efforts to not smile. There was no way in hell that I would stop that blush, and I felt my face warm up.

His plan to help me think and speak better of myself just might work in the long run.

Maybe. Either way, up went my mood, quick as a snap.

I huffed a little laugh before it fell into a sigh.

“I wish he was the only demon haunting me instead of the one in my head, if I’m being honest. I’m just...so hurt, still. I was hoping I’d be feeling better about it by now.”

Edward scooted over enough to put an arm around my shoulders. I snuggled into his side, grateful for the affection. I doodled nonsense with a finger onto his knee, and I was casually fascinated with the feel of denim beneath the pad of my finger.

“Bel, these things take time.” He spoke in a kind whisper. “What that boy said to you was vile and cruel. That boy was also a friend to you.”

“For the most part,” I couldn’t help but murmur. Edward didn’t comment on that. He soothingly rubbed my arm, and I liked his cold touch.

He continued.

“You’re still hurting over it, and that’s very much okay. I can only imagine what you must be feeling and thinking, Bel, but please know this. A part of the reason for why you’re hurting, from what I’ve noticed and observed of you, is that you still care for...Mike Newton.” His tone went cold at the name, and it made me chuckle.

In a weird way, it was kind of reassuring to see how upset Edward was on my behalf.

I got all my anger out that day when I yelled at him, and that was that. I couldn’t keep up being angry, as I wasn’t that kind of person.

Being hurt, however, was something that I didn’t need to think about. I just was.

Edward was right. I still felt that I had some acquaintanceship for Mike despite what he did. I may not have been able to forgive him, but I couldn’t hate him, either.

Mike seemed to have a lot to deal with, something he kept as his own cross to bear.

It was hard for him to genuinely open up to others, and I was one of the few he entrusted so many intimate anecdotes with. His thoughts, his feelings, the storms of his mind, the sunshine.

And, from what little Mike had told me about his family’s views of queerness, I figured he didn’t have the easiest home life.

I couldn’t hate Mike Newton. I still cared about him. I just...had to close off my heart to his, is all.

_Oh. That’s what has me so messed up about this…_

“That makes sense,” I suddenly said to myself.

“What does, Bel?”

“Oh, okay.”

“Uh, Bel?”

“Oh! Sorry. I had an epiphany.”

“May I know what it is?” There was a smile in his voice.

“You were right.”

“It happens. About what, exactly?”

I sighed into his shoulder.

“He’s an ass, but I still see him as...well, not a close friend, but a friend all the same. I’m not excusing his behavior, but I sort of understand why he acted like he did. Also...I’m in the wrong, too.” That last part was when my voice was at its quietest. “I feel bad for what I said, and I want to apologize for that, at least.”

I took a deep breath, felt my torso expand with the effort, and exhaled.

“Then...then maybe I can wash my hands of this Mike situation for good.” My voice wobbled.

That hurt became a little more painful at voicing that notion aloud, but there it was.

I felt Edward nod, then felt his lips against my temple. “Perhaps he’ll forgive you. And perhaps he can earn his forgiveness, after all.”

“We’ll see,” I said lightly, staring blankly ahead. I focused on Edward’s arm around me, and how even just thinking that made me feel a little more happy, and, in a way, safer.

“That we will. Together.”

A smile stretched across my face, and my mood had noticeably lifted again. “I like the sound of that.”

“As do I, Bel.” He kissed me. “Come. Let’s get you inside before it gets any colder.”

“Okay.”

— • —

“Ya know, Bels, I still think you’re letting _Michael_ get off too easy, if you ask me.” Jake took an angry bite of his pizza, giving me a hard look.

At least, that’s what he was trying to do.

He just looked like an angry bunny, more than anything: too cute to take seriously. A tall bunny, at that. _Bugs Bunny, eat your heart out._

I sighed. “Jake, don’t start talking about kicking asses, again.

“His ass _will_ be kicked by _my_ feet, Bels, I swear it!” I rolled my eyes.

“You started him again,” Embry stage whispered to me while Quil sighed loudly. I nodded, regret coloring my face.

Black Friday featured two regular shoppers, ones that Jake loved having around while also wishing to kick them out of our store.

Embry Call and Quil Ateara V were Jake’s childhood best friends, with Quil also being his cousin.

In all my time hanging out with Jake over the last half year or so, I saw plenty of those two dorks, too. It was safe to say that we all considered each other friends, thanks to Jake.

The three of them would often bet over who could take on another in some form of physical prowess.

Quil, being the one with the most muscle, preferred wrestling.

Embry, being the fastest of the three, favored racing.

Jake, while being both as strong and as fast as his friends, preferred to kick ass in video games. Since, according to him, it wouldn’t be fair to always be the winner in a physical challenge regardless of what it was.

_Boys are so stupid, they really are._

While Jake went off on his second tangent since my arrival (one of many since I first told him, according to Embry), I just thought to myself.

With my permission, Jake gave his friends the debriefing on what he called the Nuisance of Newton. I called him an idiot, and we had a good laugh about the codename.

It was reassuring to have the both of them on my side in this Nuisance.

For one thing, it was just really nice to know more guys that, ya know, weren’t assholes. For another, it was beauteously rad to know that Embry and Quil were queer, too!

“I’m gay,” Embry said simply around a bite of pizza. “So, Mike Nuisance can suck it and can choke on his homophobia.” I snorted at the new surname for Mike, and I liked it maybe more than I should have.

Quil had a bit more to say.

“It sucks even more to know that Nuisance came out to you as bi, too. He has some major internalized biphobia going on, man, what the hell. Don’t sweat it, hun. We bi babes gotta stick together, right?” He winked at me and glanced at Jake, who nodded in agreement.

I grinned. “Naturally, Quil. Naturally.” That got him to laugh.

“Good! Besides, the three of us gay-slash-bi boys totally got your back, Bel! Right, my fellow queers?!”

Embry and Jake simultaneously said, “Hell yeah!” and “You fuckin’ know it!”

“And we totally _will_ kick Nuisance’s ass for you,” Embry added.

“What part of no ass kicking do you guys not get?!”

Needless to say, it was a hilarious coming out moment for me to experience. And it definitely put me up on a high, one that was so common whenever I would hang out with the three of them.

Their dumbass energies really rubbed off on me in the most amusing of ways. I was only a little sad when they had to leave, but I thanked them for cracking me up and gave them both tight hugs.

“You have some really rad friends, Jake,” I said with a smile as they drove off in Embry's Jeep.

“Yeah, I’m pretty lucky like that. I’m glad you can get along with them. I know they can be a little much sometimes.”

“That makes sense.” I winked at him. “You can be a little much, too.”

He scoffed, pushing me before walking back to his house. “Whatever, Swan. As if you aren’t a little much to deal with.”

“I never said I wasn’t,” I said with a smirk.

In his house, we sprawled across the couch, tangling our legs together in the center.

“Your feet reek, Jake, ever heard of a shower?” I sniffed and made an exaggerated face of disgust.

He instantly retaliated by lifting a socked foot to try and nudge it under my nose. I grabbed hold of his ankle, laughing as I kept it away from me altogether.

“Yours don’t exactly smell like roses either, buddy, fuck off.” We were both laughing as we each fought to defend my nose and assault my olfactory sense.

That went on for a few minutes before I gave up, and shoved his leg off of me altogether.

“Cheater,” he said, sticking out his tongue.

“Sure, sure.”

A companionable silence fell over us as I flicked mindlessly through TV channels, as it was my turn with the remote.

We had already finished whatever homework we had earlier, which was partially the whole point of Embry and Quil coming over.

Since I was basically adopted into their friend group, we often had lots of study and homework dates together on Black Fridays. Or whatever weekends I spent with Jake. They all weren’t the best essayists, so I happily lent out my essay writing skills for them.

Jake helped us all with math, being in an advanced math class and all, while Embry and Quil both excelled in the sciences. We all didn’t really care for history much, so we floundered together in that regard.

The rest of the day after that was to just hang out, which led to a group venting and roasting session about Mike, apparently.

I settled for watching Animal Planet, in the end. Tame, easy background noise, and cool animals.

“You're still thinking about him, aren't you?” Jake quietly asked me during a commercial.

Surprised and unsure, I looked at him. “About who?”

“Nuisance.” Jake’s tone went cold at saying the nickname, too.

_I bet that he and Edward would bond even more over their shared dislike of Mike Nuisance…_

I frowned. “Is it that obvious…?”

He gave me a patient smile. “Yeah. That, and the fact that you always watch Animal Planet when you're stressed about something.”

_Crap. Jake knew me too well, sometimes._

“Yeah, I am,” I admitted sullenly.

Jake let out a big, slow breath. “C'mon. Step into the Office.”

I let out a soft groan. “Jaaaake. Not the Office, I’m gonna roast in there…!”

He raised an eyebrow at me with a sassy expression. This was Jake-speak for, “Really?”

Also read as, “Bitch, quit complaining and get your ass in gear.”

_He is a stubborn bastard, that Jacob Black. Even more than I am, sometimes._

I pushed his legs away from mine to silently stand, pouting, and led the way to his Office. Which was just his bedroom.

Without prompting, I plopped on his bed face first. The door closed, and Jake lightly smacked my butt.

“Move it, Bels, c’mon. You know the drill.”

“Ugh.” I rolled over to lay on my back, and he laid down next to me.

This was a method for us to just talk about stuff. Jake’s methodology was that, if we want to talk about serious stuff but we felt a little anxious, we did so in a silly way.

For us, something silly meant laying flat on our backs, just staring straight up at his glow in the dark stars stuck to the ceiling, directly above his bed.

It worked. Plus, it was a cute reminder that Jake had glowy stars above his bed. They still made him happy, and they definitely helped him sleep at night.

“Okay, Bels,” Jake said in a quiet, soothing voice. “What’s leeching that brain of yours, hun?”

Even though this was pretty common for us to do at that point, it still was a little tough for me in the beginning. I was still learning how to just...be vulnerable with others, and to allow myself moments of intimacy within that vulnerability.

_Blessing and a curse, in some ways._

I was lost in the faintly green stars above me. Even though it was nearing sunset and the sky was more cloudy than sunlit, I imagined seeing past them.

Part of visiting Jake’s Office, for me, was to first calm myself.

This generally entailed gazing up at those stars from Jake’s childhood, and thinking of the real stars beyond the atmosphere. To try and envision seeing those burning, beautiful masses there in Jake’s bedroom.

My eyes would close, my breathing would slow, and my mind was free to wander.

Amidst the stars that swirled behind my eyelids when in this calm state, with the sound of Jake’s breathing and his disturbingly warm body heat directly next to me, I saw flickers of what was eating at my thoughts.

The movie reel of my mind showed me the memories of what was haunting me.

Mike Newton.

His face. His voice. His words.

His intent to _hurt._

That one word echoed across my mind a thousand times. A thousand cuts slicing away at my heart. A thousand wounds that went unseen, but their scars lingered and burned every day since then.

I started crying.

Jake’s hand wormed its way into mine, lacing our fingers together. His hand was very warm, and I appreciated it. Even when our hands got sweaty, we still held on.

He squeezed it three times. I squeezed back.

And I felt like I could breathe again, even just for that single moment.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Oh. So, I'm not the brightest bulb at times. Just because it's been bugging me, I'm gonna go back to the last few chapters to edit the summaries to indicate which chapter we're truly on. It just eats me away to know that my ao3 chapter 11 has since disrupted the flow of my story, and that my social media updates about the story show the ao3 chapter instead of the real chapter of that story that it is. XD
> 
> Anyways, onwards we ride to the next chapters!!


	17. Pre-Party Jitters

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Chapter 16
> 
> Bel face a number of emotions unrelated and related to the Halloween party. He hopes things will go smoothly, in more ways than one.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Well. On this side of Halloween and the most nerve-wracking USA election, I hope everyone has been well! :D

So, they say three is a magic number, right? I’ve heard people say that the best things come in threes.

For me, my first thought for this saying would be for comedy!

Comedians often say a joke or whatever three times in a row, and the third time is just somehow far funnier than the first. I’ve seen some comedy shows where they stretch the gag out across their set.

In that case, the key joke would be in the opening of the show, then it would be mentioned somewhere in the middle of the set, and they’d tie it all together by closing the gig with it.

Frankly, those ones were my favorite.

The magic of three could also maybe apply to crying your heart out.

You guessed it, crying happened three times, too!

Great.

— • —

Cry number one: Charlie.

Telling my dad was a damn whirlwind, as it was the first time he had seen me just so... _broken_ by something. Not fun for either of us, but man, was it one _hell_ of a bonding experience.

Leave it to an amazing father to pick up the pieces of his son with nothing but love.

Meanwhile, Charlie’s opinions of Mike Newton (and his parents, for that matter) had plummeted a great deal. I bet that was one less customer they’d be getting.

Even more awesome? Charlie kindly urged me to quit working at the Newtons’ store. He would’ve preferred that I quit right then and there, but I had to think rationally.

If―and this was a big _if_ ―Mike didn’t breathe a word of what he did to his folks (and I didn’t think he did, as they’ve been kind to me as they always had been), I didn’t want to just quit out of the blue.

Charlie wanted to raise pitchforks, but I couldn’t do that to Mike.

I easily imagined myself quitting just like that. This could lead to the Newtons asking their son if I said anything to him and asking him about my choice to quit, and Mike either badly lying or getting too defensive.

That could just lead to Mike prematurely confronting his sexuality (whether he still considered himself bi or not) to his parents, and I didn’t want the worst case scenario to happen.

Of course, I didn’t tell my dad that Mike had come out to me, as it wasn’t my place to out Mike. Still, I didn’t want to work there anymore either, so I was glad to have Dad’s blessing.

After my weekend shift that week, I put in my two weeks’ notice, and that was that.

Cry number two: Edward.

Informing my vampfriend―Edward swore that he disliked when I called him that; as if! _―_ was hard to do, as I was well aware that it would upset him as much as it did. If there was anything that I had learned about vampires, it was that they felt emotion in extremes.

Recalling that day in the baseball clearing, I remembered how Edward casually scared the living shit out of me with his snarling. And that was just to defend me!

Yikes.

Either way, Edward’s comfort and words were deeply appreciated. In the aftermath, I was so grateful that his concern for my well-being mattered far more than his anger at Mike.

Though, I didn’t doubt that he was _way_ angrier than he let on.

That night with Edward in my room, I stayed up for hours just talking to him instead of sleeping. The next day at school, he gently teased me for getting drool all over his shirt. I had slept on his chest, and he was giggling at me when I woke up.

Honestly, it was a well needed emotional change of pace, being teased as I was.

I supposed it was a good thing that Mike was no longer welcome at our lunch table anymore. Even before I told any of my friends what happened, we quickly realized that Mike wasn’t even in the cafeteria.

When my friends wondered about Mike, I got very tense. Alice and Edward did, too, and the others quickly picked up on our mood.

As I didn’t want to go through anymore tears during my last two classes, I told them after school.

They were _furious_.

Like Charlie (and probably Edward) before them, they wanted a witch hunt. Edward and Alice managed to calm them down, as Alice probably wasn’t too fond of the future she saw as a result.

By the end of that heated discussion in the school parking lot, I kindly reminded everyone that I didn’t want to drag this on anymore than it already was.

It happened, I wanted to move on, but also fuck Mike.

That was enough for them, though they certainly gave him the evil eye whenever they saw him for the rest of the month and a bit into October.

_Small miracles._

My thoughts drifted back to Jake.

And cry number three.

— • —

Beneath those faded stars permanently pressed to Jake’s ceiling, of which were beginning to glow the darker it got, I really just...let myself experience my emotions.

_All_ of them. Including the ugly ones.

Crying while telling Jake felt like an absolute shit-show. For whatever reason, letting Jake know about what happened was just _awful._ Emotionally awful, to be specific.

Tears had already begun to streak down the sides of my face, and I was breathing in quick, small puffs.

Jake had to calmly remind me to take deep, slow breaths, and it was only a slight struggle to inhale through my nose and exhale out my mouth.

After my breathing was semi-regular, Jake got some tissue for me to mop up my gross face. As I was calmer, he gave me a stream of soothing, kind words to further mellow me out.

“C’mon, hun,” Jake murmured later on. “Senses exercises, let’s go.”

“R-Right,” I said with a big, wet-sounding sniffle. That made me laugh a little. “L-Let me blow my nose first, ew.”

“Yeah, please do. I don’t want you going all Nickelodeon on me.” That made me laugh more, and said laughter caused a huge snot bubble to inflate from my nostril before popping. There was a beat of silence.

And then we both just cracked _up._

Once the laughter eventually faded, I quickly wiped and blew my nose. I decided to just keep the offered tissue box on my stomach for easier access.

“Do I still need to do the senses?” I asked Jake quietly, though my voice was noticeably lighter after all that stupidity just then.

“I think so, Bels.” Jake smirked at me. “One of these senses could be the feeling of snot all over your face. Disgusting.”

“Screw you.” I sighed a shaky breath. “Okay.”

The senses exercise was something that Jake taught me, having learned it from Billy as a kid. Jake told me that, whenever he was anxious or upset, Billy asked him to list things relating to the five senses.

“It’s a grounding exercise,” Jake had told me. “It’s meant to just allow you to focus on your surroundings enough to ease up whatever feelings that have you all worked up.”

This always started with a countdown.

“Five.” My eyes wandered the room. “Glow in the dark stars. Your TV. The writing on the back of your door. Your messy closet. Us in the mirror on the inside of your closet door.”

“Your closet is as messy as mine is, you shit,” Jake grumbled. “Next up, please.”

“Four.” This time, I closed my eyes to just focus on my body for a moment. “How clammy our hands are. Your insane body heat, gross. Your left leg over my right one. How soft your sheets are.”

“This gross body heat keeps you warm when you sleep over.” I giggled. “Next.”

“Three.” Eyes still closed, I opened up my ears. “Your breathing. The wind outside. Birds chirping in the distance.

“Two.” I took a few tentative sniffs. “Your deodorant smells good. A...scented candle, I think. What is that, peach?”

“Cherry blossom, actually. Like it?” I nodded. “Nice.”

“One.” I licked the corner of my mouth, and made a face. “Salty tears.”

“And how we doin’, Bels?”

I finally opened my eyes and looked at him, smiling shyly. “Better. Thanks, Jake.”

“Of course.” He smiled. “And I love you, Bels, you know I do, but I’m gonna take my hand back, now.”

We let each other go, and wiped our hands on the other’s shirt. That was something we did whenever we held hands for long enough; it made us laugh.

— • —

I stared up at the ceiling.

“It just sucks, Jake.” I felt his eyes on the side of my face, and he remained quiet. “Lauren Miller is even on my side. And she doesn’t like me, Jake, she doesn’t. _Lauren. Miller._ ”

By now, Jake knew about everyone I associated with. While I didn’t talk much about Lauren in general, he knew of the mutual dislike she and I had for one another.

“Didn’t she say that her older sister is a lesbian?”

“No, you’re thinking of Eric’s sister. The only gays Lauren knows would be our friends at school, I think.”

“Oh.”

I sighed. “How the fuck can _Lauren_ be on my side but Mike just... _can’t_ …?”

Jake’s voice went soft. “Bels, honey, shit’s complicated for him. Doesn’t excuse a damn thing, but…” I felt him shrug.

“I know…”

“C’mere.”

Without needing to be asked twice, I rolled over onto my side and scooted over enough for Jake to wrap me up in a hug. One of my hands clung to his shirt.

Jake pressed his forehead to mine, and gently bumped our noses together. I hid my face in the crook of his shoulder after that.

“Pffft. What happened to roasting in the Office?” His voice was full of sass.

I jabbed his stomach with a finger, and he grunted. “Don’t ruin this, you shit.”

“Noted. My bad.” He hugged me tighter before relaxing his hold on me. I pulled away a little to look at his face.

Frowning, I reached a hand up and tried to smooth down the worried creases of his forehead. He just sighed.

“Bels. Talk to me, hun.” In turn, he poked my nose a few times.

“How can you be so comforting and so annoying at the same time?” My eyes narrowed at him, and he just smiled.

“It’s a gift, what can I say?”

I didn’t even bother with a reply to that.

As I spoke, I stared straight at Jake’s throat and kept my eyes trained on his Adam’s apple. My voice dropped to a worried whisper.

“When it comes to Mike, I want to be mad at him. I want to feel as angry as you do, as Edward does, as Charlie does.” I took a sharp breath. “There’s even some ugly part of me that just... _wants_ him to hurt. T-To have him just _know_ what it’s like to―”

“Bel.”

Jake’s tone, low and full of surprise in just one word, caught me off guard. I forced myself to meet his eyes, and saw that his brow was scrunched up again.

“You don’t mean that, do you?” A whispering Jake was nary a good sign. Coupled with the fact that his brownie eyes, usually so warm, weren’t as bright as usual. _Uh oh._

His question slapped me silly. It had me replaying my words in my head, and, after some brief processing, I frowned deeply.

“No. No, I don’t. I'm sorry I even said that, let alone even thought about it…”

Jake brought a hand to my cheek, lightly smacking it once before rubbing it with his thumb. “You don't need to say sorry, Bels. We all have ugly thoughts sometimes, especially when we're already feeling pretty low.”

“Feels like I've hit rock bottom.”

“Then let's get you back up to Bikini Bottom, huh?”

With all of my might, I tried to restrain any laughter and any smiles. That was the lamest, most unexpected SpongeBob joke. And while it was funny, I just couldn't give Jake the satisfaction.

_He doesn't deserve my laughter. Not for such a shit joke._

Meanwhile, Jake was giving me this shit-eating grin that had his eyes just sparkling with mirth.

“Jake?”

“Yes, dearest Bel?” He used this sugary tone that was anything but. It was the voice that Jake used when he knew he was right about something.

“I fucking hate you sometimes.”

“Awww, and I love you, Bels!!” He quickly trapped me in another hug, giggling madly, and I tried to escape.

“Don’t fucking touch me, how dare you!”

“If you didn’t want to hug me, your arms wouldn’t already be around me.”

I sighed heavily. He had a point.

“How did I forget that you just love to needlessly argue and have the last word at the same time?” I wasn’t going to admit that he was right. “Anyways.”

Jake just giggled, but was otherwise silent. His eyes held mine attentively.

“I don’t want him to hurt. I don’t. I told Edward that, if anything...I want to apologize for the shit that I said to him.” I held up a hand to Jake’s mouth the second I saw that he was about to say something.

“Wait. I do. Even if he won’t accept it or even genuinely apologizes to me in return, I still want to. I was hurt by what he said, but it didn’t give me the right to say what I did to him.”

Jake’s ire deflated at once, and I took my hand back. He gave me a look that I read as conflicted. “Dammit. Why’d you have to use logic against me like that?”

I chuckled. “Because it’s one of the times logic _would_ work against you.”

“Bastard.”

“It’s a gift.”

After a heavy sigh, Jake said, “Well. I personally don’t think that piece of crap deserves any kind of apology from you, Bels. Just want that on record.”

“Duly noted.”

“Still. If this is something that you think you should do...I’ll support you, hun, even if I’m not too happy with this decision.” Jake sat up, pulled me with him, and pointed a finger at me. “But I promise you, I will happily kick his―”

“No ass-kicking, Jake!!”

“You are so mean to me, Bels. I thought what we had was _special._ ”

I rolled my eyes. “Shut up and stand so I can hug you properly, moron.”

— • —

With the Office closing up for the day, the two of us returned to the living room to resume some quality television. Jake flipped to MTV, and said, “Hell yeah, _Next_ is on!”

“Sweet!”

_Next_ was this new, shitty dating show where five people would be able to go on a date with one person, the main contestant. The five dates would wait out and watch each date from the comforts of this kinda cool RV, called the Next Bus

_That’s not weird or anything._

The premise of the show was that, if the contestant didn’t like whoever stepped out of the RV at any point of their date, they’d get Nexted. This meant that the dater got rejected, and the next contender would step into the prior date and shoot their shot.

So far in the show, a number of people have literally stepped off the bus and had been Nexted instantly.

A positive, if one could call it that?

For however long the date lasted, you’d be paid by the minute. So if your date was an hour long, you scored sixty bucks! But if you got rejected after stepping out of the bus, you’d earn a single dollar.

Like I said, shitty. But it was entertaining shit, so there’s that.

“Before you get too comfy on the couch, do you know what time your dad is coming home, Jake?”

Considering that he had just flopped onto the couch seconds before my question, I couldn’t blame him for the annoyed look he gave me.

“Mm, not too sure, honestly. He was gone by the time I got home from school. Why?”

I grinned. “Food, that’s why. I was gonna say we could either make dinner or just order pizza.”

“Bel, while I appreciate your desire for a home cooked meal, do you _really_ not know me by now?”

“Just trying to have some variety, that’s all.”

“Pfff, variety. As if.” I just grinned as he picked up the phone. “What’s the budget, hun?”

“Whatever will feed us and your dad if he’s hungry enough.”

“The whole restaurant, got it. Three pies okay?”

“Duh. Don’t forget the breadsticks!”

“Wouldn’t dream of it, babe. Hello! Can we get an order for pick-up, please?”

— • —

By the time I had left Jake’s, it was well past sunset.

We had gorged on food, had a good time, and I had plenty of leftovers to devour later on. And as much as I wanted to ask Jake about the party tomorrow, I didn’t.

I merely opted to keep my expectations low so that, should he be able to go, I’d be all the more happier for it!

Charlie was already asleep by the time I stepped inside the house, so I quietly put my food in the oven and went upstairs.

I brushed my teeth, changed into my jammy jams plus nighttime hoodie, and cuddled up under my blankets. I now had to use two, thanks to the colder temperatures.

My first actual winter in Forks was sure to be a punch to the gut, I was certain of that.

I settled for re-reading _The Lovely Bones_ for the rest of the night. This was my second reading of the book at that point, and I loved it immensely.

I was at the part in the book where Susie, having settled in her own heaven, managed to break through the barrier that separated the living from the dead.

Since she was old enough, her father would often have her help him in assembling ships in bottles. It was a hobby that his father taught him, and he shared it with Susie, too. She was his co-captain in that endeavor.

But with Susie’s death, her father was inconsolable.

One evening, he went into his study. It’s where all of his bottled ships were, ones made with his father and his daughter. One by one, he began breaking as many bottles as he could.

Seeing her father in so much pain, Susie broke through the barrier and showed herself to her dad. She casted her image in every single shard of glass for a moment, and he saw her.

He became elated at seeing his daughter again, though it was a bittersweet, fleeting feeling.

“How cute, in a way,” I said out loud, smiling at the page.

“Yes, you are.”

I gasped loudly and jumped at the sudden voice, and the book fell to the floor. By the time I realized I wasn’t alone in the room and went to get the book, Edward was sitting on the edge of the bed, book in hand.

I gave him a glare. “I knew oiling up my window was a bad idea to give you.”

“Somehow, I don’t think you believe that, Bel. I am sorry for scaring you, and for having you lose your place. I believe you were on this page, correct?” He quickly flipped through the pages, and handed me the open book at the exact page I was on.

_Would the casual flaunting of his enhanced senses always impress me? Probably._

“Ya know, Edward, as someone who needs glasses, I just _have_ to say: having a vampire’s vision has to be a great perk to being immortal.”

That made him laugh. “I suppose to someone with your...limited vision, it would be.”

I grumbled at hearing that. “Anyways. Thank you for finding my page again. And, as for scaring me, we have to put a bell on you or something, my poor heart.”

Edward smirked. “It’s slowing down. For now. Besides, you rarely get scared by that anymore. Unless, like just now, you’re invested in whatever it is that you’re doing.”

“Yeah, yeah. Less teasing, more cuddling, please.”

After we got situated―meaning that I was burritoed in my blankets while I sat between Edward’s legs with my back pressed against his chest―marked my place and closed my book.

“How was Black Friday, my beloved?” Edward asked as he hugged me, pressing a kiss to my cheek. I smiled and placed my hands over Edward’s, only mildly grateful that he couldn’t see the entirety of my blush.

_I don’t think I’ll ever be used to him calling me his “beloved,” good god._

“It was mostly great and funny, full of food and stupidity.”

“I expect no less from you two, in all honesty.” I heard the smile in his voice.

“There was a heavy moment, though.” I briefly explained what happened, and Edward’s hold on me tightened. “If it’s any consolation, Jacob and his friends are _definitely_ on your side of things regarding Mike.”

“Jacob truly does earn more and more points the more you tell me about him. I really like him, Bel.”

With a snort, I said, “Stealing my bit about points? Dork.” I giggled. “I am really glad that you and him get along so well. I was a little worried about...well, you know.”

I felt him nod. “I do. I consider it a blessing that Jacob doesn’t place any stock in the stories of his great-grandfather’s era. He is one less person that my family and I don’t have to be wary of.”

Between those words, I figured that Billy was definitely a wary one.

“Do you think that there could ever be more peace between you guys and the Quileutes? Like, do you ever see the treaty being...I don’t know, revised or something?”

Edward fell silent, and I glanced back at his face. He appeared deep in thought.

“Honestly? I’m unsure. Personally, I’d very much like that. I like to think that my family has been a decent ally to the Quileutes after all these years, but I imagine that they have a differing opinion.”

“That doesn’t sound too good. Should I be worried?”

“I shouldn’t think so.” He paused. “Before I speak any more, I ask that you kindly keep this a secret between us. It’s very important, and only Carlisle knows this.”

Uh oh.

I was ready to move around to fully face Edward to hear what he had to say, but his arms remained firmly in place. Shaking my head with a smile, I settled back against his chest.

“Okay. I will keep this secret while being in your arms. Happy?”

“Very.” He took a breath. “When we made the treaty with Ephraim, I couldn’t help but to hear some thoughts that they all had.” Edward’s voice lowered. “Their shape-shifting isn’t completely voluntary. Not at first, at least,” he quickly added.

_Where the hell is this going…?_

— • —

“What do you mean, not at first?”

Edward sighed. He rested his forehead against the top of my head.

“According to their thoughts, the Quileutes’ ability to shape-shift needs a catalyst. Once that catalyst occurs, the Quileutes that are capable of shifting will transform for the first time.”

My mind was racing.

“What kind of catalyst, Edward? Are the Quileutes even closer to being Peter Parker than you are as vampires? Or is it more of a Jekyll and Hyde sort of deal?”

“Your imagination is very amusing, Bel.” I felt his quiet laughter more than I heard it, though it quickly faded. “I’m afraid it is neither a radioactive spider nor an ingested serum. Most simply, vampires.”

That left me dumbfounded. “Vampires? How?”

Edward elaborated for me.

From what he was able to gather that day seventy years ago, the prolonged presence of vampires is what triggers a Quileute’s ability to shape-shift. Furthermore, this ability is genetic.

Ephraim, Levy, and Quil II inherited the gene to transform from their fathers, and went on to pass the gene on to their children. And, while those three were the last active shape-shifters that the Cullens encountered, they presumably passed on the gene, too.

There was more to their transformations, but Edward couldn’t share that info.

I merely laid there for a few minutes, staring up at the ceiling as I processed all of that. I idly played with one of Edward’s hands in the meantime. He ran a finger along the scar on my left wrist.

It was hard to forget about that scar, now. It matched the temperature of Edward’s cold skin.

In the quiet, I said, “Didn’t Carlisle once say that...that Ephraim and the others let you guys stay in the area?”

“Yes.”

“And...they for sure knew that vampires were the cause of their transformations?”

“Yes.”

I frowned. “I’m confused, then. If they knew what letting you guys stay would mean for them, why did they agree to the treaty at all?”

“Mostly, they wanted to ensure that their tribe would have as much protection as could be from other vampires. While they didn’t exactly want to rely on outsiders, we were the only kind of vampires that valued human life. The others they fought clearly didn’t.”

“I guess that makes sense…”

“In a way, we had sort of updated the treaty.”

“Really? How?”

“Mm. I’m not at liberty to give you specifics, Bel. It’s only a little bad that you know about the treaty and the Quileutes at all.” He chuckled, kissing my cheek when I tensed up. “Technically speaking, we didn’t break the treaty. You _did_ guess what we are, after all.”

“Technically,” I grumbled, “I hope I don’t get you guys in trouble.”

“I doubt that. To your question, Carlisle became worried that, with the addition of Alice and Jasper to the family, more of the tribe would transform against their will. As some means of compensation, Carlisle met with the chief and a few other key tribe members in on the secret.”

“I presume you can’t tell me what happened in that meeting, then?”

“Correct. What I _can_ say is that Carlisle offered far more help than what he originally proposed, and the tribe accepted.”

“Huh. So then, in some ways, your family sort of does have an okay relationship with the tribe?”

“Something like that.”

“Well. That’s kinda neat to know. I’m glad, then!”

Easy silence fell between us, and my thoughts wandered to tomorrow. _Ugh..._

“Hmm. Your heartbeat just picked up. Is there something on your mind, Bel?”

Oh, no. There it was, that tone of his. The one that was soft, inviting, warm. The one that managed to convince me to speak my mind about nearly anything.

_Damn that captivating power of his....! And his extraordinary senses!!_

“...Do I _have_ to show up at the party tomorrow?”

Edward’s laughter was muffled by my shoulder. I frowned. “That was a serious question, Edward.”

“I know,” he said in a giggle.

I groaned. “You’re as awful as Alice is, sometimes…”

“I’ll take that as a compliment. Now, come on. Let’s try and get you some decent sleep, hmm?”

“Fine. Just know that I will somehow get revenge on you for whatever costume Alice comes up with for me.”

“If you insist, beloved.”

That shut me up real quick. I quickly got ready for sleep after that.

— • —

There it was. The morning of the party. Anxious didn’t seem to be adequate enough a word to describe my feelings and thoughts for the day.

Edward noted my early morning frantic energy.

“I don’t think I’ve seen you so frazzled in the morning before, Bel,” he said, amusement clear in his voice. I was pacing around the room while he watched from my bed.

He was grinning.

It was bad enough that I woke up at six-thirty on a _Saturday_ without an alarm (I stopped setting alarms for weekends since leaving Newton’s).

I also had a weird nightmare that echoed in my head, though I did my best to ignore it for now. I didn’t want anxiety so early in my day.

_Was that too much to ask for, Brain?!_

“How can I _not_ be frazzled?! Even though Alice is orchestrating this party, she inadvertently made _me_ the poster boy for it! I’ve never hosted a party before! I’ve only _just_ begun having sleepovers here at home, for crying out loud! Stop laughing!”

“Forgive me, Bel. I’m laughing with you, I promise.” His innocent eyes earned the filthiest stare I could muster. “If it’s any consolation, you are incredibly cute right now.”

“Hardly.” In a blink, Edward stood before me with my hands held firmly in his.

“What is there to worry about, Bel?” His voice was satin smooth, and just as gentle. It caught me off guard, and my room instantly felt warmer around the region of my face.

“U-Uh,” I smartly stammered. “Th-The overall, um, embarrassment of being in the spotlight?”

Edward leaned down enough to nuzzle my cheek.

“Mm, is that all that has you so worried?” His voice had dropped to a very appealingly low timbre, and it set a new wave of warmth across my face. Naturally, my heartbeat was basically an amphitheater to his ears.

_The bastard knows what he’s doing..._

He started to pepper kisses along my cheek, then up and down my jaw. I shivered.

“H-Having to play host is um, pr-pretty nerve wracking. I know that you and your family now have a better image to the rest of the school, b-but…”

“But…?” That was whispered at my ear, and was it just me or did the room spin a little?

“But what?” Edward chuckled, pulling away to meet my eyes. He sported his crooked little smile, having a very smug attitude about him.

“You tell me, Bel.” I didn’t like that deceptive tone of his. Which is to say, I liked it entirely more than I should in the moment.

My room no longer felt spinny, and I felt that I could breathe a little more easily. I straight up just ignored how warm my face was and blinked like an idiot.

“You’re evil for doing that,” I accused breathlessly.

“For doing what?” I knew that he was just teasing me, but I also saw the smug victory in his eyes.

“For turning my brain to mush like that. That’s no match for my anxiety!”

He laughed. “So theatrical. You needn’t worry about one thing today, other than dealing with Alice possibly wrangling you into your costume.”

I frowned. “That’s not reassuring.”

“Would some breakfast reassure you?”

On cue, my stomach grumbled. “Traitor,” I mumbled. “I guess I am. What did you have in mind?”

“Well, seeing as your father is still sound asleep, how about I make breakfast for the two of you?”

That...wasn’t something I expected, honestly. It left me a little floored...but in a good way.

“Really?” I asked, eyeing him with surprise. Edward nodded.

“Of course! You mentioned that he intended to sleep in today after a strenuous week at work. I figure this could be a nice thing to do for him.”

I was genuinely touched by Edward’s offer, truly so.

Earlier this week, Charlie was involved in a first-response call that just really took a toll on him. He didn’t give me details, more for his sake than mine, but it was very apparent that my dad was affected by it.

It was, in my opinion, rather lucky that Charlie’s mind was only semi-permeable by Edward’s ability.

Because, alongside the fact that I was glad that my dad’s mind was mostly private, it meant that Edward wanted to do this because he sincerely cared about Charlie, too.

I mean, don’t get me wrong, I knew that Edward cared about my family. Duh, that’s kind of a no-brainer for being in a relationship. And it went without saying that I cared about his family, too.

It was just neat to see of him, is all, that genuine compassion.

“That’s incredibly sweet of you! That sounds fun.” I smiled warmly at him, though it morphed into a smirk. “Though it also sounds like you just want to show off the cooking prowess you’ve learned from Esme.”

“You say that like it’s a bad thing.” Edward winked. “See you in a short while.” He flew off my bed to kiss me before disappearing altogether. Which was one more blessing, as kissing Edward still left me a little breathless and all gooey-eyed.

Young love, amright?

— • —

About twenty minutes later, there was a gentle knock at the door, and I went downstairs to officially let Edward in.

We went through the motions of “Oh my gosh, Edward, what a surprise! What are you doing here so early?” in case Charlie was awake, though Edward assured me that he wasn’t.

Soon after, we sat in the living room and just talked about anything but the party for a while. I also asked Edward to keep a physical and mental ear out for my dad, that way we could get a jump on making breakfast.

The moment Edward caught wind of my dad so much as majorly shifting around in his sleep, he was instantly gone from my sight. I blinked at the empty space he formerly occupied while a muffled clanging sounded from the kitchen.

I got up to investigate.

In the seconds it took me to step onto the linoleum, Edward had fished out a waffle iron from who knows where. He was preparing a batter from scratch, from the looks of it.

“What the hell? Where did you even _find_ that iron?!” He nudged a low cabinet with a foot.

“Way in the back down there. Does Charlie prefer a more healthy or not so healthy breakfast?”

I giggled. “Unhealthy, easily.”

“I know just the thing, then.”

Edward became a breakfast making factory. I chipped in whenever he asked, but he was commanding the kitchen as though breakfast foods were his specialty.

When Charlie had lumbered downstairs after his usual morning bathroom visit, Edward had churned out a lovely spread.

Chocolate chip waffles (with vanilla ice cream a la mode for Dad’s), omelettes with the usual fixings (no cheese for mine), turkey bacon, and sliced bananas awaited on the plates Edward placed before us.

To top off this breakfast, Edward poured my dad a cup of coffee, and I made the cup to Dad’s usual preferences.

I only wished I had a camera to capture Charlie’s elated expression.

“Wow, Edward! This looks amazing!” He quirked an eyebrow at my boyfriend. “What brought all this on? Don’t tell me that my boy roped you down here just to cook for us.”

I pouted at him. “Wow. Rude? _That’s_ your first thought?” Charlie just shrugged, smirking as he took a massive bite of waffle and ice cream. He groaned softly, a surefire positive reaction..

“Actually, this was a spontaneous thing,” Edward said a touch bashfully. “My family doesn’t quite trust me in the kitchen, and I may or may not have wanted you both to be my guinea pigs.”

_That was a damn lie. But it was delivered so perfectly, I had to give major credit to Edward’s acting._

“He also made them from scratch,” I added around a mouthful of waffle. “I also didn’t even know that we had a waffle maker until today.”

Dad laughed. “I had a huge breakfast-for-dinner phase a while back, and I made all kinds of waffles. Chocolate chip is my favorite, so you get kudos for that, Edward.”

Edward grinned. “A little birdy told me you had a sweet tooth with a penchant for chocolate.”

I got a look from my dad. My response was to draw a circle over my head with a finger.

“Well, thank you, haloed little birdy. And thank you kindly, Edward! This is mighty sweet of you, I very much appreciate it.” Charlie’s eyes crinkled with his sunrise smile. I could tell that this really meant a lot to him, and that meant the world to me.

“You’re very welcome, Charlie. If you’d like to be a guinea pig again, I’d be more than happy to bring you into my experimentation.”

Dad nodded, and took a big bite of omelette. “I’ll definitely take you up on that offer.”

Edward smiled. “I’m glad to hear it. I―” His cell phone started to ring. He took it out and opened it, eyeing the screen. “Oh, it’s my sister. Excuse me, I’ll take this outside.”

With that, he answered the call as he made for the front door.

“Okay, kid, really,” Charlie suddenly said in a hush, eyeing me intently with tense shoulders. “This is nice and all, but what’s up? What’s the catch?”

That made me giggle. “No catch, Dad, really.” I bit my lip in a brief moment of hesitation.

“Okay. I told him that you had a rough week, and he just wanted to do something nice. And what better way to cheer someone up than to make them a meal?”

“Oh.”

A variety of emotions flashed across Charlie’s face that ended with his cheeks being dusted with pink. There was a light in his eyes, and his shoulders relaxed.

“And you’re sure that he’s not trying to suck up to me or anything?”

I laughed, and gently nudged his shin with a foot. “Dad! Of course he’s not.”

He grinned, daring to take a combined bite of waffle, ice cream, turkey bacon, and omelette.

It made me very happy to see my dad so cheered up by Edward’s gesture. Even if there wasn’t intent to try and earn brownie points with the old man, points were earned regardless.

— • —

Edward’s phone call conveniently lasted long enough for Dad and I to finish our breakfast.

When he came back inside, Edward merely explained that Alice was feeling a little frantic about the party, and just needed some gentle reassurance.

Naturally, I didn’t buy that due to Alice’s love for party planning. Still, there was some truth to his words.

His eyes seemed a little darkened by whatever they spoke about in that call. I was only marginally worried.

Despite that, Edward stuck around for a few hours. The three of us relocated to the living room and put on the TV for some background noise. And we just talked!

There was thankfully only minor awkwardness at first, as it was the first time the three of us really had a sit down together. Soon enough, however, we were all commenting on whatever movie we had decided to watch.

Charlie and Edward were even cracking jokes at the absurdity on screen, and that was reassuring to witness.

After that shitshow of a movie ended, Charlie quickly checked into the sports channels, and was very excited about an upcoming game.

I was extra surprised when Edward started talking sports, and I think Dad was, too.

As far as I was aware, Emmett was the sports enthusiast of the family. But there Edward was, dropping stats and names that flew right over my head.

I probably shouldn’t have been so surprised, as Edward had a vast general knowledge. But yet I still was.

The more you know.

Eventually, Charlie had to head out. He made plans with some coworkers, as they apparently had a tradition of marathoning horror films the Saturday before Halloween.

“You’re not gonna drink and drive, are you?” I tentatively asked.

“Nah, of course not,” he said with a grin. “That’s why we all crash at someone’s house for the night, so we can drink in peace. Have fun at your party, kids.”

He paused. “For that matter, _you’re_ not gonna be drinking tonight, are you?”

I was offended that his tone was so accusatory.

“Yeah, Dad, we’re gonna spike the drinks right under Carlisle and Esme’s noses.” I rolled my eyes for good measure, just in case the sarcasm didn’t land.

“Smartass,” Charlie said. He came over to kiss my head and to shake Edward’s hand. “Don’t get too crazy tonight.”

“Wouldn’t dream of it, Charlie,” Edward said with a laugh. “Enjoy your evening!”

Once he was out the front door, I quickly turned to Edward.

“I didn’t think of this earlier, but _are_ your parents gonna chaperone tonight? And what about if people bring booze or anything else anyways? I don’t want your family to get in any trouble over some idiots who sneak in shit they shouldn’t.”

Edward just shrugged. “It’s bound to happen, Bel. You remember prom, alcohol and marijuana were snuck in regardless of the warnings. Do you really think we’d be able to police that sort of thing at a house party?”

“Yes?? Especially under the roof of a vampire _doctor_?!”

“You fret too much, Bel. In the likely event that our peers will bring illicit substances, Carlisle is more than prepared to handle anything that could happen as a result of underage inebriation.”

I gave him a blank look. “Don’t tell me Carlisle is a cool mom like Amy Poehler in _Mean Girls_.”

That got a loud laugh out of him. His head was thrown back and everything. I was just impressed that he understood what I meant.

Then again, who in their right mind didn’t know about the absolute art of _Mean Girls_?

“Yes, both of my parents will be home tonight. And they, Alice, Emmett, Rosalie, and myself will act as designated drivers for any who might need it. We intend to drive people home in their own cars as needed, and have someone else follow them in our cars to taxi others home.”

“Oh. That’s...very thought out of you. And by using your cars to trail after the others, you’d be able to ‘get a ride back home’ with someone in your family.”

Edward nodded. “Correct. All for the sake of the ruse. Rosalie is mildly upset, as she’d rather just run home. She’d actually walk, in her own words.

He chuckled. “Alice and Emmett are excited, as they are the most eager to interact with more humans. Especially if they aren’t sober.”

Hearing that made me grin.

“I can only imagine how entertained they’ll be. But, um...what about Jasper?” I was very aware that his name wasn’t mentioned in the vampire taxi service.

“Jasper won’t be driving anyone home,” Edward said gently. “While he has made great strides as a vegetarian, having humans in our home is a little taxing on him already. He has kindly asked that we don’t confine him to the small space of a car with any amount of humans with him.”

I nodded sagely. “Understandable. Well, I’d be more than happy to keep him company at the end of the party.”

He reached out to hold my hand, giving it three squeezes. “Thank you very much for your offer, Bel. I’m sure Jasper will appreciate it, too.”

“Of course! Anything to help.” I gave three squeezes back. “And you’re sure that there isn’t any way that I could sit out of the party?”

“Do _you_ want to face Alice’s dejected expression at that notion after all her hard work?”

I groaned. “This is blackmail, I’ll have you know.”

“Yes, it is.”

“I’ll get my revenge on her, I swear.”

He gently patted my knee. “Good luck with that, sincerely. Maybe you’ll be the one to actually succeed in that regard.”

“You’re teasing me, aren’t you?”

“Only a little.”

“Thanks.”

We still had hours until we had to be at his house, as Alice had her family in full decorating mode. So, unfortunately, I bunkered down in the kitchen to do homework while Edward helped me.

And while I was pulling my hair out over horrid math problems, I was abruptly reminded of my nightmare from last night.

An unsettling feeling came over me at the memory. I hoped it wasn’t an omen or something.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This has notably been the longest time in between updates. Admittedly, my mind has been very hectic and fuzzy amidst all the real-world chaos on top of the usual clutter of my mind. For everyone so keen for my story, I thank you so much for your patience, it means the world to me. :')
> 
> I'm genuinely not sure how consistent or quick updates will be from now on, in all honesty. I'm definitely gonna take a chill pill on writing so much, for my own sake more than anything else. So there's that.
> 
> I really hope that, amidst everything continually going on in the real world, anyone reading this lengthy story of mine is doing what they can to stay as sane and as healthy as can be. Times are continually scary for a lot of people, myself included.
> 
> Please, if anyone needs any sort of help, I hope you can reach out to your loved ones or even seek professional help if you're able. Keep going, rest as much as you can, nourish yourself, and enjoy any hobbies you have.
> 
> We'll get through all of this, together. <3


	18. For No Mere Mortal Can Resist...

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Chapter 17
> 
> The evil of a thriller Halloween party is in the air! Bel most likely will never want to host another party ever again. Oops.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I should just preface that I owe a dear friend thanks for gifting me with some plot ideas that I wasn't able to conceive on my own. So mad thanks to them, the coolest cat and Taurus that I know I out there. <3
> 
> I um. Am still sorry for myself that I couldn't post the Halloween party closer to Halloween but...here we are. XD

In retrospect, I don’t think I quite understood how big this party would actually be. For whatever reason, it just didn’t enter my head what inviting both the junior and senior classes would be.

Considering that I went to prom, you’d think I’d have a better idea of what to expect. Via, you know, personal experience! I was hoping that it wouldn't be too much of a turn out, if I was being honest.

In part for my anxiety, but also for the sake of the Cullens’ house.

I was fairly confident that I couldn’t afford anything there under the “you break it, you buy it” policy. Imagine going into _that_ kind of personal debt?

No, thanks.

With my homework done and out of the way, Edward and I returned to the living room for more TV. And by that, I mean that we were just making out. A lot.

Could we be blamed? Really, could we?

Two teenagers in a relationship, alone in a house? Which, for either of us, was a rarity in and of itself? Okay, sure, we might’ve gotten away with making out _plenty_ in Edward’s room.

But seeing as there were six other vampires present with supersonic hearing, there was little in the way of privacy there.

Yes, he and I were at that stage in our relationship where we would take advantage of any moment of solitude that we had. I was sure that he enjoyed those moments as thoroughly as I did.

_Wink._

And while I’m not one to exactly kiss and tell, there was one thing worth noting about dating a vampire...as a human. Vampires _really_ don’t need to breathe. This wasn’t new information in the slightest.

Hell, I’d seen him swim in the ocean for twenty minutes without surfacing _once_.

But for kissing...this was both blessing and curse. Yeah.

When Alice eventually called Edward―much to our mutual chagrin (and the slight relief for my lungs)―he weaseled his phone out of his pocket.

At that point, we were both on the couch. He may or may not have been laying back on it, I may or may not have been straddling him.

Who was to really know?

Either way, I was more than ready to remove myself from his lap, so that he could take the call in peace. But no. Edward answered it while gently, but firmly, keeping me seated where I was.

It may have been a coincidence that his free hand was secured firmly at my waist.

“Hello, Alice,” he said calmly, giving me a look and wink that _really_ shouldn’t have been allowed. Why? Because I felt my face glow bright enough to put Rudpolph out of a job.

“Oh, of course.” He smiled up at me faintly, golden eyes seeming to shine as the sun began to set. “Yes, we will. Ah. Would you prefer I blindfold him after that?” _What?_ “Naturally, dear sister. See you soon.”

“Why am I going to be blindfolded?!” I blurted as soon as Edward snapped the phone shut.

...And then I was on my back with Edward looming above me all too comfortably. I was only a little dizzy at the swift change.

He leaned down to kiss my nose.

“You'll be blindfolded so that you may experience the full effect of what Alice has planned. And that's all I'm permitted to say.” He flashed his crooked smile.

“I'm just kidding, there's no blindfold. I do have to keep quiet, however. That being said, it's nearly party time. Are you ready?”

I wound my arms around his waist. “You sure we can't just stick around here a little longer…?”

Edward groaned softly, though a little laugh was in there, too. He rested his forehead on my shoulder, presumably in defeat.

“You are an exquisite kind of torture, Beltrán,” he breathed at my ear.

I repressed a shudder. “Th-That should be my line.”

From being caged on the couch by his body to suddenly standing on my feet, I felt that my sense of spatial awareness was momentarily decreased.

That was corrected with a loving kiss from my boyfriend. “Unless you'd rather have Alice run down here to collect you herself…”

_Red flag number one!!_

“I’d rather not give that short demon the opportunity,” I said at once. “Let's go, then.”

— • —

“Edward.”

“Yes?”

“I’m not sure if this is exactly the most welcoming red carpet of sorts to, ya know, most humans.”

“How so?”

We were in his car, driving up the winding dirt path to his house.

I wasn’t able to give him a proper look of sheer bewilderment, as my eyes were staring straight ahead through the windshield to the aforementioned red carpet.

Sporadically strung along trees on both sides of the driveway were sinister red lights.

As the sun had already set, the red-lit path, which was already kinda creepy to drive through at night, now screamed “you are going to get dismembered, turn around.”

“Edward, this looks directly out of a horror film!”

To flip the tables, he gave _me_ the bewildered look. “It’s a Halloween party. Isn’t that...rather the whole point?” He spoke slowly, as though choosing his words carefully.

I also detected minute confusion, perhaps understandably so.

And then I remembered the most important detail: they haven’t been human for a minimum of several decades. There was almost every nuance to being a modern human that had been lost on all of them.

_Right...oops._

I took a breath and looked at him.

“Right. But, you have to admit: this is _objectively_ creepy to the humans who don’t know you or your family in a personal, human ruse sort of way like I do.”

Edward’s face was neutral as could be. “I’m still not seeing the problem here in terms of the party.”

“...Maybe _I’m_ just too creeped out by this, then.”

“So, you’re scared, not because of the fact that a gaggle of humans are coming to the house of vegetarian vampires, but because there are some creepy lights hanging in the woods?”

“Well, when you put it like that, I sound like a weenie.”

We had pulled up to the house, then, and Edward raised an eyebrow at me. I almost could imagine his teasing thoughts, so I raised a finger to him.

“Don’t say a word.”

Edward just snorted, and zoomed out of the car to open my door. “Come on, scaredy cat. Alice wants to give you the grand tour.”

Before I could even take two steps towards the house, Alice was there, smiling brightly. I was marginally disappointed that she wasn’t in costume yet.

“Here are some answers to the questions you’d eventually ask,” Alice said calmly. “No one will bring alcohol, as we kindly mentioned so in our invitations and because this _is_ a doctor’s house, after all.

“There will be marijuana, however, which Carlisle and Esme find preferable over alcohol. And, finally and unfortunately, less than half of who we invited will actually show up.”

That last one had Alice frowning. She _would_ be upset that her party wouldn’t have the full guest list.

Typical Alice.

I put a hand on her shoulder in sympathy. “It’s okay, Alice. Wait, did you say less than half?!” She nodded. “That’s still a lot of people!!”

Alice’s frown grew, and her voice sounded just _devastated_. “Hardly! I wanted this party to be epic, and it’s only going to be one-fourth as epic as I initially planned!”

I brought a hand to my face in exasperation. “Alice. You are _impossible._ ”

“That’s what I’ve been saying for the last fifty-five years,” Edward murmured beside me.

“I will take that as a compliment,” she said more brightly than she was seconds ago. “Now, come on, Bel, we have much to do before the party begins!”

Alice grabbed my hand and gently pulled me along, and I snagged Edward’s, too.

— • —

The next thirty minutes consisted of Alice showing me what she and her family had accomplished for the party.

First up, she took us through the haunted trail that was constructed, a winding path through the trees.

There were plenty of strobe lights (red, orange, and black), lots of fog from well-hidden machines, and plenty of fake webs strewn along the trees. Some simple fencing covered with caution tape made up the actual path, which was a neat touch.

Tastefully placed just beyond the scope of human sight beyond the trail were all sorts of classic monster props. They formed terrifying silhouettes in the dark thanks to well-placed lights.

Some props were hidden behind trees, others were standing in empty space, and some were even set to be climbing trees. Rosalie and Emmett would also be skulking around the trail to scare the guests.

I just knew they’d have too much fun with it.

Next up to see was an outdoor dance floor in the massive backyard. This was the final destination of the trail.

There were all kinds of spooky, cheesy, and cute decor; including but not limited to: fake spiders of all sizes, an army of jack-o-lanterns, scarecrows (some of these were just silly and some were downright creepy), ghosts, witches...the list went on.

Edward quietly pointed out that there was a simple, normal path to the dance floor should anyone be too scared to attempt the trail. He would also be directing people between the two in welcome.

A massive assortment of tables and chairs were set up around the dance floor, with a variety of centerpieces and assortments of goodies to be claimed atop the tables.

There were tall outdoor heaters at the four corners of the dance floor, as well as evenly spaced between tables. I hoped that those would be sufficient enough.

Alice also said there were amazing speakers outside, and, hadn’t she pointed them out, I never would have noticed them.

To one side of the dance floor was a line of rectangular tables which would house the food. All of that would be set out at the last minute before the first guest arrived. Esme would be hosting the food tables and chaperoning the dancefloor.

Continuing the tour, Alice took us inside.

Just in general, it looked like an entire Halloween store’s stock was bought out and thrown up throughout the house. But when the weather got too cold out back or for anyone who didn’t want to dance, the entire first floor had a variety of activities to entertain.

The living room was spaced out to be like a mini movie theater.

Couches and chairs (both had black covering over them) were placed in rows, while an assortment of orange and black bean bag chairs filled in the empty space.

I had no idea where the other furniture had gone. The TV was also missing.

At the back of the living room, a screen projector was directed at the wall, just above where the TV formerly occupied. Jasper had a multitude of horror films at the ready to watch and project, and would man this station.

Emmett had also set up his various gaming consoles in the two rooms that previously housed the decorations.

One room was strictly for Nintendo consoles (NES, SNES, Nintendo 64, and GameCube) while the other held everything else he had (PS2, Xbox, Sega, and Dreamcast). Plenty of bean bag chairs in those rooms, too. Emmett would return here after his scaring duties.

The dining room was also available for human congregation, and was the candy station.

Buckets and buckets of candy were carefully situated neatly in the middle of the table. Each bucket held one type of candy, and there was such a wide menu of candy to choose from. 

Laid out in a border around the buckets were little, Halloween-themed tote bags in varying designs and colors. A sign in the center of the table said, “Scoop up your fill! Happy Halloween from the Cullen Family!”

I thought this was extremely cute and generous.

Last but certainly not least was the kitchen itself, which housed the entirety of all the food that was available.

A buffet of all sorts of finger foods, spooky-themed baked goods, and a fuckton of snacks in covered bowls all awaited to be taken out back. There were even some healthier snack options, too.

All the drinks (canned sodas, juices, and water bottles) were kept in coolers.

This was all thought out very well, right down to the selection of Halloweeny napkins, plates, and bowls.

Taking all I saw in, I mumbled dumbly, “How could I ever make this up to your parents for allowing this to happen at all?”

Alice slung an arm around my waist, hugging me closely. “No need for that, Bel. Consider this just a small way for them―the whole family, really―to thank _you_ for all that you’ve done for _us_.”

I stared down at her with wide eyes. “Me? What the hell have _I_ done? Other than compromise your way of life in nearly every facet?”

The look she gave me reminded me of the looks that Jess and Jake would give me for saying something dumb. It also went in line with the notion of: “I’ll skin you alive if you say something that ridiculous ever again.”

Edward chuckled, and kissed my cheek. “Carlisle and Esme would disagree with you. Now, whether you like it or not, it’s time for you to choose your costume.”

Automatically, I groaned. Then, mid-groan, I said, “Wait, I get to choose one?”

They laughed, and Alice wordlessly led me upstairs. Before I got to the top, Edward called out, “Good luck, Bel!”

Once again, I found myself in Alice and Jasper’s room. Jasper was sitting in the middle of their bed, and he waved at me.

“Hey there, Jasper. Any chance that you'll tell me if I should be worried about the costumes that await me?”

“You should be absolutely terrified.” For a beat, I thought he was serious until he winked.

“Don't scare me like that, my heart can't take it!”

He laughed. “Happy Halloween, and all. Your options are in the bathroom. Have fun.”

“Thanks,” I sighed, and steeled my nerves before heading inside and closing the door behind me.

— • —

A few hours later, the party was absolutely rolling!!

Per Alice’s prediction, about fifty-three students showed up. Also foretold was the absolute lack of alcohol and the presence of the devil’s lettuce.

Thankfully, the latter was in the form of homemade baked goods courtesy of someone.

They were given special designation at the food tables out back with a quickly scrawled sign that marked them “Special ;) Eat with caution, one per guest please!” with a normal green leaf drawn above the words.

Classic.

Before I allowed myself to consume any of those goods, I was flitting about the party with Carlisle as we were needed. If something went wrong, the two of us were on the job, as everyone else was occupied.

We were re-lighting jack-o-lanterns, filling up snack bowls both inside and outside, and generally just checking in with as many in attendance as we could. 

Carlisle and I also made up the repairmen.

If something glitched out, we were the first responders until we could summon the appropriate vampire to help out. While the patriarch to the Cullens literally didn’t tire, I did.

I was almost wiped out by the half-way mark of the evening.

“Bel,” Carlisle had told me after we had cleaned up the umpteetnh spill. “Why don’t you go and enjoy the rest of the party, hm? The family and I can take care of things from here.”

“Are you sure? I feel like I ought to contribute someth―”

He kindly interrupted. “Bel, need I remind you that we have plenty of energy to spare?”

Carlisle, with his point succinctly made, shooed me away to enjoy myself.

And so I did...by dipping outside to snag a special brownie. Just downed the whole thing without a care, which totally impressed Angie, Jess, and Eric.

They’d promised to hit that side of the table whenever I took a break from hosting duties.

Bless them!

Jess chose a cookie, Angela had half of her rice crispy treat, and Eric took it upon himself to look after the former two for the rest of the night. I still had to play co-host, after all.

Needless to say, the girls and I had a good time alongside the others who partook in the special goods. And it was during the initial creep of the high that I just had to further comment on costumes. 

Angie, who has never had any self-esteem issues due to her vertical gift, donned Kiki’s costume from the Studio Ghibli film, _Kiki’s Delivery Service._ She owned a simple, dark purple dress already, and managed to find a big red hair bow.

She supplemented the costume with black leggings (to combat the cold), a cute little pen in the shape of a broom, and an adorable Jiji plush which she stashed in her purse.

When I first saw Angie, I squealed and absolutely raved over her costume; _Kiki_ was the first Ghibli film I ever saw and fell in love with.

Jess took on a classic costume, and arrived as none other than Dorothy, right down to the ruby slippers. Of course, she had a little picnic basket hanging off her arm with a stuffed Toto peeking out from the lid.

I insisted that the four of us recreate the iconic skip down a yellow brick road out back, much to everyone’s delight.

Eric, bless him, showed up as Ash Ketchum, which was entirely handmade save for the jeans hat, and shoes. He even had a little Pikachu velcroed to his shoulder sleeve.

I was just glad that I didn’t knock the little guy off when I went to hug Eric.

While I loved Kiki and Dorothy, Ash won the costume contest between the four of us, and earned Eric a kiss to the cheek from me for his victory.

I had to admit, the brownie was definitely working its magic. How did I know?

_I_ was the one that happily pulled Edward out to the dancefloor to vibe out to Stevie Wonder.

_Yes_ , I tried to sing every word of “Superstitious” to him, full of silly choreography to go with it. And, _yes_ , my friends were cheering me on as I sang for my boyfriend (and them).

After that, a slower song came on, and Edward claimed me for himself to dance with. When his arms wrapped around me, pulled me closer to him, the rest of the party faded into the background.

It was just me and him, lazily swaying around to the song. Edward couldn't keep his eyes off of me; I thanked the brownie feeling less embarrassment than usual.

“Whatcha looking at, Mr. Cullen?” I asked with a giggle.

“My charming boyfriend, I believe,” he said warmly. “I knew there was a social butterfly in there somewhere. Who would've thought that marijuana would bring him out?”

I shrugged easily. “Life is for learning, is it not?.”

“What a philosopher you've become, Beloved,” Edward said, grinning. “I must say, I do adore how silly you are. It's quite endearing, and is entirely cute of you.”

“How sweet of you to say, dear lover! I thank you for such high praise.” Giggles erupted before I even got the last word out.

_You tried, Bel, you really did._

“Would it be safe to guess that you are actually enjoying yourself, now?”

I nodded quickly. “One hundred percent am having fun, even before the brownie! Maybe one-ten.”

That brightened up Edward’s expression and voice. “That was the most important thing tonight, and I am glad for it, Bel.”

I smiled, feeling mildly dopey doing so. “Don’t tell Alice, though.”

“I think it’s a little too late for that, but okay. Just between you and I.” His head threw back in a laugh, and he leaned down to whisper. “I just heard Alice, from the third floor, calmly say, ‘I heard that, and you’re certainly most welcome, Bel.’”

“Thank you, Alice!” I said at a normal volume, sure that she’d hear. Edward relayed her thanks.

“I’m also surprised that you haven’t complained about your costume, either.”

_It was only a matter of time before he brought that up, huh?_

“I was too busy to really worry about it,” I confessed with a laugh. “I have been getting a lot of compliments, though, so that’s nice.

My costume ultimately ended up being...I wouldn’t say a “sexy witch,” as that implied more skin shown than covered. 

Perhaps “sensible witch” was more fitting, as I was fairly covered up, even if I was a little cold.

I wore a short black dress that was comfortably snug on my body. It came down to mid-thigh, with black shorts under. 

Over this was a long, sheer dress that was nearly my exact height, and thankfully didn’t snag due to the loaned black boots and their sturdy heels.

The sheer was accented by dark blue lacing, and caught the light very well; the blue was almost metallic in the right light. The sleeves were very flowy, flaring out at mid-elbow and nearly covering my hands.

I had too much fun just flapping my arms around to watch the sleeves move in the air.

To top it off was a witch hat with a tightly curled tip that was wrapped in blue satin ribbon. Alice added the ribbon, as the hat was too plain otherwise according to her.

Alice had also offered accessories for me to try, too. Ever so fond of chokers, that's the one I chose.

The strap itself was made of plush velvet, black, and had a spider web pendant made of what looked like white gold. In the middle of the web rested a small, simple blue gem that I initially figured was fake.

Alice didn’t tell me until after the party that the gem was an actual sapphire, and I was actually glad for that.

My anxiety and I thanked her for that smart move.

“It’s very comfortable, I have to admit,” I said to Edward after a moment of thought.

“I was worried that it would feel weird, but it somehow just works. I’m not even too cold, so that’s a nice bonus.”

“You certainly are the talk of the evening,” Edward purred, and I had to momentarily ignore a certain look in his eyes.

“I guess being the only guy in a sheer dress will do that. Also, I’d ask you if _you_ were cold in yours, but you are literally cold regardless of what you wear, so…”

“Oh, ha, ha,” Edward said, rolling his eyes.

Before I even spoke, I felt my face warm up in a blush. “You look pretty great, too, Edward. Don’t sell yourself short.”

“Oh? You like?” He let me go for a moment to step back and give a little twirl, with extra hip gyration before taking me in his arms again.

Believe it or not, that was the first time I became aware of Edward’s...derrière.

_Nice. Veeery nice._

“This was a coordinated effort, after all. I’m glad that there were a good number of human couple costumes to supplement ours.”

Well, we certainly made waves. Though, for different reasons in my opinion.

While my costume was merely a guy in a dress, Edward’s costume was...questionable, yet appealing.

He was a black cat! Specifically, the cat familiar to my witch, but with a twist.

Edward was easily showing more skin than I was in his black jeans shorts, which were tiny. Much of his legs were covered by knee-high socks. Black socks were also accompanied by fishnet leggings, naturally.

He also wore sheer! A short-sleeved sheer shirt rested over a black crop top that absolutely hugged Edward’s upper torso. Beneath the sheer were black and red suspenders that connected to his shorts and over the crop top.

In terms of accessoires, everything else he had was black, of course.

Fluffy cat ears atop his head, velvet choker with a red bell, a tail that he twirled in his hand, and elbow-length gloves that showed off slender fingers tipped in pointy, black nails.

He was already looking good, but then I saw the cute ears, and I was just _sold_. Edward also took the effort to paint on a black nose and whiskers.

But he had to use literal paint, however, which was fascinating to note!

“Human make-up doesn't work on us,” Emmettt chimed in once.

“We have to rely on either embalmer’s make-up or hardware store paint,” Rosalie quietly explained.

“Something this simple could be done with regular paint,” Edward said while painting his face.

_I'm looking forward to seeing them use embalming make-up!!_

Edward and I both had fairly simple costumes, yet we both were definite stand-outs. In my opinion, Edward more so than I, as he seemed ready for a Halloween Pride event above all else.

When I first told him that in the house after our costume reveals, it got Emmett and Alice to laugh. Rosalie cracked a smile, too, which was _great!!_

“You’re like an improved version of Thackery Binx. What’s not to like?”

“Who is that?”

“Edward, you are both lucky and unlucky that it’s Halloween weekend. I am about to give you a crash course on perfect Halloween movies that I grew up with.”

“That sounds fine to me. Can we both stay in our costumes, then?” He asked this with a flutter of his pretty lashes.

“For as long as we’re here at your home, yes.”

“Good. It’ll be a shame once your costume will be retired,” he sighed. “I like you in it far too much for my own good, I believe.”

_Those should've been my lines, pretty kitty._

_Me-ow~_

— • —

In the end, Jake didn’t show up. I was a little sad, but I didn’t take it to heart. I figured that he wouldn’t show up, anyways, out of respect for his dad.

I made sure to take plenty of pictures to show him later, at least. Well, I asked Rosalie to, as she was the family photographer. I was thankful for her cooperation.

After the last humans left, Rosalie went to work right away to develop the film. She apparently had the means to develop her own photos, which I thought was impressive.

Meanwhile, the rest of us were on cleaning duty.

Though, it was more truthful to say that I was tasked to clean up as much of the leftover food as I could stomach in one sitting.

The Cullens would have a far easier time cleaning up without my help.

In under an hour, the entire house was as it used to be. It was as though a roughly five-hour party full of teenagers didn’t just take place.

Since I told Charlie that I’d be sticking around to clean up, I had plenty of time to just hang out with Edward and his family. We all remained in our costumes, and I was so happy for that.

Rosalie and Emmett were Mr. & Mrs. Frankenstein, and were an absolute riot.

Emmett was already tall, but the heels he wore for Missus made him more massive, vertically. He even got a round of applause for his costume, much to his entertainment and Rosalie’s amusement.

Alice and Jasper, bless them, dressed up as Mickey and Minnie Mouse!

Alice had the famed red shorts with yellow shoes, while Jasper had the iconic red dress with white polka dots and yellow heels. Jess absolutely loved their costumes, as she was a big Mickey & Minnie fan.

Last, but not least, were Carlisle and Esme as Dracula and Mina Harker.

I lost my mind when I saw Carlisle as one of the most famous vampires around the world. He even told me that he knew the man that the character was based on, which was a neat vamp fact.

Esme, however, had to briefly explain her character to me, as I had no idea who she was dressed as.

Nearly unprompted, Alice bemoaned Carlisle’s same choice of costume each year that the family dresses up.

“I’m a man of habit, Alice,” was Carlisle’s mere response.

She vowed that, one day, she’d get Carlisle in on a family-themed costume, away from Dracula.

Of course, a costume contest occurred. And, while there was a huge number of great costumes all around, Emmett’s was the clear winner.

He was even given a trophy, too, which he happily displayed in his room.

Back in the living room, after vamp clean up had finished, I thanked Carlisle and Esme profusely for agreeing to the party in the first place. Esme chuckled and hugged me.

“You are very welcome, Bel, it was no trouble,” she said. “It was a success in more ways than one, after all!”

“It was an interesting litmus test to see how the young humans would respond to us in such close proximity,” Carlisle said. “It also allowed us to...well, _actually_ interact with a portion of the population at once.”

“I’m hoping that everyone will tell their families how cool the Cullens actually are,” I said thoughtfully. “I bet that any amount of good press for you guys could only help your act!”

“That certainly would make things even a little easier for us,” Esme offered. “More importantly, Bel, on behalf of my family, I would like to simply thank you.”

_Was not ready for this!! Thanks from_ Esme _?!_

It was safe to say that Esme saw me internally floundering, and quickly continued. “Yes, of _course_ we must thank you, Bel! It’s because of you that our children have been more readily accepted by your peers.”

_Well, when it was put like that…_

“Mm, yeah, I can’t even try and deny how othered they were when I first got to school.”

Carlisle stepped closer to wrap an arm around his wife, and she happily leaned into his side.

I had a brief moment to myself where I just appreciated their partnership together, they were so sweet a couple!

“Perhaps we could have been more sociable sooner,” Carlisle idly speculated, and Esme shrugged.

“Better late than never?” I said, and that got them to laugh.

For the rest of my stay with the Cullens, I watched _Hocus Pocus_ and the first _Halloweentown_ with the entire vamp clan. Or, as they’d say, coven.

Most astonishingly, the two films had divided the Cullens over which was more enjoyable!

Carlisle, Emmett, and Esme preferred the former while Alice, Jasper, and Rosalie preferred the latter. Edward broke that tie by siding with _Halloweentown_ , and I furthered the victory of _Hocus Pocus._

“So much for being my Binx!!” I cried in emotional turmoil, sending Edward scathing looks of accusation. Edward just rolled his eyes and held my hand to make me feel better.

It worked.

— • —

In an ideal world, I would have been able to sleep in the morning after the party.

Charlie knew I’d be getting home late after a long day of partying. As I predicted that I’d be a log for most of the day, the old man had fishing plans in the early morning. I only knew that he was gone when I was so rudely awoken.

By none other than a phone call.

“Mmnngg.” That was as elaborate as I could be when I heard the two phones ring downstairs.

“Would you like me to answer that?” Edward whispered at my ear, and I just nodded. He was gone.

I began to turn over onto my other side, and then Edward was back before I could complete the movement. The wireless phone was placed into my hand.

I groaned a sigh, but I brought it to my ear with extreme reluctance. “Hello?”

“Mornin’, Bels! Hope I’m not waking you up!”

“Jake?” My mind was still foggy, but I’d recognize that voice anywhere. “I hope you’re in the hospital.”

“Well, that’s pretty rude.”

“So is calling me at asscrack in the morning, Jacob.”

He snorted. “Honey, it’s already noon. I was gonna call you at nine, but chose to be nice and called you after that. Now _I’m_ the bad guy?”

“Yes. What do you want?” I was more awake and very huffy because of it. Edward, spooning me, leaned over to kiss my cheek. I murmured my thanks to him, earning another.

Jake put on his phone-specific pouty voice, which is the one he uses to try and guilt me into something.

“Whaaaaat? Can’t a guy call one of his best friends…?”

“Jake.”

He sighed heavily.

“Fiiiine. I just wanted to see if I could make up missing your party last night. But uh, I also would want you to be well rested so...we can raincheck this? Also, I’m sorry for waking you up!”

I was rubbing my eyes mid-way through his speech, only mildly upset at being woken up. The downside to my sleep habits is that, once I was awake, that was the start of my day.

Going back to sleep was difficult, but possible. Just not today, and that was only my fault.

“Gimme one sec,” I mumbled, putting a hand over the mouthpiece.

“Sure, sure!”

I leaned back into Edward’s chest. “I’m dead right now, but did we have any solid plans today?”

More kisses from him. “No. But that can quickly change if you aren’t in a sociable mood.”

This was quite the crossroads for me at asscrack in the morning. Did I want to stay in bed with my boyfriend? Or bother to get decent and go see my best friend?

_Decisions, decisions…_

I stole one last kiss from Edward before I quietly told him, “Looks like I’ll be leaving you with an IOU ticket, Lover.” He nodded, kissing my shoulder.

“All-purpose and free of charge, Edward, redeemable for anything with no objections on my side. Reluctantly. You’re welcome.”

— • —

For the next week at school, Alice and Edward were experiencing new levels of popularity. Any worries I had for them were needless, however.

With their gifts, they knew where and where to avoid whoever needed to be avoided. It was one of the few times I was a little envious of their abilities.

_What I wouldn’t do to just know how to avoid people._

As the Cullen duo had to navigate the sudden transition from “weird but cool kids” to “immense popularity” was one thing, they handled it all gracefully.

Well, as gracefully as immortal beings masquerading as humans could.

I, however, was still getting the brunt of a social life onslaught. If I wanted to coast through the rest of my senior year relatively undetected, I had no chance of that after the party.

Anyways.

The three of us were just getting a lot more students taking the time to say hi or make small talk. And we each had some form of anxiety linked to the increase of social activity.

We had each other, we had our friends. We didn’t have to suffer alone. At least Jess was still quick to drop a witty insult to keep us from getting big heads.

Two school weeks came and went, and then the start of Fall Break was soon on us. Ten glorious days in which we didn’t need to set foot on campus.

A glorious time for federally mandated vacation!

On the twelfth, a Saturday, Edward came over that evening to ask Charlie what I thought was an impossible favor.

“Edward, let's not push our luck, hmm?”

We were laying back on my bed just talking, myself being cuddled up at his side and with my head on his chest. Pretty standard cuddle levels when Charlie was awake, even though he _just_ walked into the house.

My mind short-circuited a little at the suggestion and the suddenly dwindling time frame to decide.

Why?

Edward just suggested that I stay the night at his home. For once, my mind didn’t go to the gutter at potential implications of this idea.

I mean, it did, let's be honest. But we already had a conversation about sex, and how neither of us were ready to go there, let alone even discuss the prospect.

_That_ talk was more embarrassing than that time I accidentally farted on him whilst occupying his lap.

Mortifying.

Anyways. Edward’s visit had the additional task of nudging me to ask my dad something.

Usually, I’d be able to ask Charlie just about anything, and would get some form of concrete answer. This question, however, didn’t seem like it would get the answer Edward hoped for.

“Edward, I can’t promise Dad’s reaction. But also, my anxiety tells me that I shouldn’t do this!”

“Only one way to find out, Beloved,” he murmured at my ear, seconds before a knock came to my door.

“Bels? Just wanted to let you know that I’m gonna head out to see Billy.”

“Oh, okay! Tell him and Jake I say hi!”

“Can do, kid. You and Edward take care today, ya hear?”

“We will, Charlie,” Edward called out jovially. “Have a good night!”

“Backtacha. Later!” His footsteps retreated from the door.

Edward carefully nudged me off the bed and towards the door. We briefly had a quiet argument full of scrunched eyebrows, widened or narrow eyes, and lots of wild pointing.

“Ugh!” I whined in a stage whisper. “Fine! You stubborn bat!”

I whirled out of the room when I saw Edward’s smug smirk of victory. It seemed that calling him a bat no longer had an effect on him. Damn.

_What a punk!!_

“Hey, dad?” I quickly called out as I went downstairs after him. He stopped at the bottom step, looking up at me.

“Uh, yeah, I wanted to ask, um. Is it cool if I slept over at the Cullen’s place tonight? They invited me to a family game night, dinner and breakfast in the morning, too.”

“Wow, continental breakfast?” Charlie teased, grinning. “Yeah, sure kid. Just be home before ten, yeah?”

I frowned. “So early in the morning?”

“Oh! Sorry, no, I meant at night. That cool?”

“More than cool. Thanks, Dad!”

“All right. See ya eventually, Bels, and have fun!”

At the instant that Charlie was pulling away from the house, Edward came up behind me to rest his chin atop my head. This was, unfortunately, a common occurrence, as he was fond of “appreciating” our height difference.

I proposed that he was merely teasing me in a cute way. He firmly denied these allegations.

“Sounds like you're mine for the night, hmm?” His arms circled around my stomach, and I felt a raspberry blown into my neck. I flinched away from that with a shriek.

“ _Ewwww,_ Edward!! Gross!” Unluckily for me, I couldn’t escape his grip or his laughter.

“As you would say, I’m not sorry.”

“How dare you use my words against me, you fool?!”

I heard his smirk as he said, “Because it’s funny.”

“I hate you, sometimes,” I deadpanned.

“Mm, somehow I don’t believe you.”

“I loathe you, actually.”

“I _love_ you, too, Beloved!!” He pressed kisses against my neck, and I shrieked again, straining my neck..

“No more raspberries!!”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Uhhh. Yeah. Hope everyone is feeling and doing okay.


	19. Car Conversations

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Chapter 18
> 
> Bel experiences great pain from an unexpected source, and finds some solace in cars with friends.
> 
> Edit: just to clarify, a rapier is a type of sword. Probably should have clarified this before I posted it. You'll see what I mean. Hopefully. X'D

The sleepover was a blast, because of course it was!! Edward had roped his family into having a game night with me!

_And_ they seemed very happy to be partake in it. That meant a lot to me, it really did. We had gathered in the dining room.

A plethora of board games, tabletop games, and decks of cards were spread at one end of the table. Esme had given me free to reign to pick what to play, and we went through as many games as we all wanted.

During Monopoly, I immediately accused Alice and Edward of cheating, and banned them from playing. Emmett and Rosalie laughed at their insulted expressions, but the rest of the family backed me up. Jasper won after a long game.

“We haven’t been able to enjoy a relatively peaceful game in so long. That was actually nice,” Esme said, eyeing her gifted children with narrowed eyes. Edward and Alice looked away guiltily.

They knew that they had an unfair advantage.

To mix it up, a game of charades was next, followed by several rounds of Uno. I even learned how to play Blackjack, and another card game called War!

Interestingly enough, watching Edward and Alice play every card game they played was hilarious.

For one, they only ever played against each other. For another, the two of them playing Uno was an absolute blur. They were slapping down cards faster than my eyes could keep up, and rounds were over before I really knew what was happening.

Emmett commented that this was why the rest of the family refused to play games with either of them.

Jasper also added, “Ugh, and don’t get me started on them playing chess.”

“ _Or_ Checkers,” Emmett grumbled.

“Suck it up, babe,” Rosalie said, smirking at her mate. He gave her puppy dog eyes, to which she ignored. “Why you’d want to play them at all is beyond me.”

“To show that I can totally kick their asses at their own game, Rosie!!” Emmett cried, looking so _betrayed_ by Rosalie’s words.

“Yeah, let’s tone it down, Drama Club,” Jasper muttered. I didn’t expect that, so I gave a snort of surprise that barreled into a big laugh. Jasper caught my eye at some point and winked, grinning.

While I knew that each of the Cullen-Hales were damn hilarious in their own unique ways, what I didn’t quite foresee was how funny their _parents_ were.

Carlisle and Esme, man, oh my _gosh._ Edward wasn’t kidding when he said that they were both perfect. And, while I knew that almost right away from meeting them, it was a whole other thing to see Esme casually roasting Edward!!

After spending a day at a Port Angeles arcade with Emmett and Jasper, Esme was relieved when the three of us returned. She gave me a firm, comfortable hug.

“I am so glad you’re back, Bel,” Esme sighed. “My youngest son has been brooding since you left.”

Somewhere in the back of the house, I heard Edward yell, “Mother! I _heard_ that!!” before he appeared before me in a blink. “Welcome back, Bel,” he breathed before picking me up and taking me away to his room.

Behind us, Esme called out, “You don’t get to hog your boyfriend all day, young man! Others in this family _also_ want to spend some time with him!!”

It was guaranteed that the entire coven heard my best attempts to muffle my laughter. Edward scowled, but held me lovingly in a new queen-sized bed.

_“So that you may still fall asleep in my arms, dear Beltrán.”_

His words had echoed in my mind since then, and thinking of them still made me blush and feel all warm inside. _Ugh. I’ve become such a sap._

Yeah. I had.

— • —

In the morning, I recalled how soft I’d gotten. It made me groan, and I crossed both arms across my face. Felt the need to hide, even if poorly.

“Edward,” I mumbled, voice full of cobwebs. My vampfriend rolled over to drape an arm across my chest, and curled up into my side. I felt a kiss on my neck.

“Yes, Beloved? And good morning,” he breathed against my skin.

“Is this _really_ why you got the bed?”

“What are you talking about?”

“Lover,” I said, peeking at him between my arms.

Edward sighed. “Partially, it was. The rest...was to have you sleep in _my_ bed.” Of course, he chose to look at me as he spoke the last three words.

I felt my face light up like the Fourth of the July, to which I ignored. My arms were slowly lowered, and I kept my eyes on him for a few seconds.

“Wow. And here I thought that _I_ was bad, Edward. You’d be blushing if you were alive, admit it. Admit it!”

“I’m afraid I don’t recall many things about being human,” Edward said evenly, convincingly.

“We both know that _that_ is bullshit,” I said through laughter. “Don’t even try and take that angle!”

Edward pouted, dropping his current act altogether for another. “Where’s the fun in that, though, Bel…?”

“I wonder if my humanity is influencing you in the worst ways. You’re far more dramatic now than from when I met you and Alice.”

“You say that like it’s a bad thing,” was all Edward said. He was giving me his famed crooked smile, and I sighed.

“Have I ever mentioned how far gone I actually am for you, Edward?”

“Multiple times, actually. And I appreciate each time you do.” His voice was saccharine in how sincere his words were. I felt flowers and sunshine bubble up in my heart.

My verbal response, however, was to just throw my head back in a groan and say, “Edward, your cuteness is killing me, man. Who said you could be so gooey-eyed like that, huh?”

Edward buried his face in the crook of my shoulder. I felt him whisper against my skin, “Because I love you, silly, that’s why.”

“I was afraid you’d say that. Ugh, are you sure about that?” My tone had no malice whatsoever, and I couldn’t so much as hide a smile, let alone stop one from forming.

“Very sure, you brat,” he said lovingly, batting his pretty lashes at me.

“I’ve taught you too much humanity. I think I regret it. I guess I still love you,” I said with a shit-eating smile, and leaned forward to claim a kiss.

“Oh, Bel, you are _ever_ so charming,” Edward said dryly, but happily kissed me anyways.

_Cute!_

Later, Edward and I came down to a breakfast buffet awaiting for me, prepared by Jasper!

“I hope I’ve made them to your liking, Bel,” Jasper said to me with a bashful smile. “This time.”

I grinned at him and hopped up on one of the counters, as I usually was to do. Edward would always place himself between my legs, his back to my chest. It was the one time I could easily rest my chin atop his head.

I also just loved feeling taller than Edward, honestly. One hundred percent that.

“I have full confidence in your abilities, Jasper,” I said solemnly. “Everything smells great!”

Since I was one more reason that the kitchen was being used, half of the Cullens had taken up a small competition. They wanted to see who could make me the best meal.

Anytime I was over was a chance to prove their cooking prowesses.

I had tried and enjoyed so many different kinds of foods during all of my visits. It was one hell of a gift, honestly, as I often took leftovers home. That pleased my dad, as he was a human garbage disposal.

Charlie just loved food.

Esme had roped in Jasper, Emmett, and Carlisle in this game of theirs. They had their own set of rules and everything, and I highly speculated that they were betting money on this.

Nothing said bonding like casual vampire family gambling!

Jasper has since flubbed one meal due to adding cheese on what was to be a cheese-less pizza, which sadly wasn't so kind to my stomach. He used the priciest cheese I had ever seen in person, too.

Shame.

Emmett had three losses under his belt, though he was really just aiming for edible more than anything else. His kitchen experiments were misses, thus far, and I was only mildly afraid of future meals of his.

Carlisle and Esme, however, were neck and neck with their unveiled foods!

It was an endless joy to watch the two of them cook at once. As their kitchen was massive, they had plenty of room to cook simultaneously, and boy did they deliver in more than just the food!

They were ruthless against each other.

Their deep love for one another was set aside in a flurry of passive-aggressions veiled in sweetness. This was meant to try and distract their opponent, make them misstep in as much of the cooking process as possible.

Carlisle and Esme held nothing back while never crossing boundaries, and they were just golden in those moments.

In my head, I called it: _Living Dead Food Wars!_

But amidst Jasper’s delightful meal of breakfast burritos (potatoes, crispy bacon, silky scrambled eggs, and sliced avocado), I was surprised with a card.

I wiped my hands with a napkin, and carefully took the offered envelope from Edward.

“You look like I have just given you a weapon, Bel,” Edward commented, chuckling. “Have you never received a card before?”

“Not from a boyfriend, no,” I said with some theatricized unease in my voice.

“Wait, I thought that I was your first boyfriend.”

“You are. That’s why I’m worried! For all I know, the deed to a small island is inside.”

Edward snorted and rolled his eyes, but I could have sworn I saw a glimpse of something in those yellow peepers of his!

“Would you please open the envelope?”

“Okay, okay! Jeez.”

Giggling, I tried to gently open the card, only to mildly slice my thumb. A bead of red formed in the middle of the short and thin line, and I licked the blood clean.

“Ow. Baby papercut.”

Seconds. It took seconds for a loud snarly that sounded too close to reach my ears.

I blinked, staring right into Edward’s eyes.

Another blink, and I stared at his empty chair.

When I turned around to the source of the snarling, I was surprised by what my eyes showed me.

Edward’s back was to me, and he was holding Jasper by his throat. His feet dangled about an inch off of the spotless kitchen tile. Jasper was still as stone, though his fists shook faintly at his side and his wild eyes never left mine.

I guessed that he stopped breathing altogether.

_Bloodlust._

There were no words. No thoughts. Just...fear.

True fear.

Alice had suddenly attached herself to her mate’s back. She fervently whispered at his ear for thirty seconds straight.

Jasper’s eyes never left mine, and then they were clenched shut.

Slowly, the tension drained from his body.

My body, meanwhile, was trapped between being unable to move and needing to eject myself from this situation as fast as humanly possible. It wouldn't be enough, should Jasper have won in his fight.

But his expression became less hostile, his fingers went from talons at the ready to tightly clenched fists. It was a minor improvement for my fear’s sake.

“I...am so _sorry,_ Bel,” Jasper said in a strained voice, sounding pained. I didn't know how to interpret that. Was he in pain due to the raging thirst or for scaring the shit out of me?

Either way, Alice quickly towed him out of the kitchen through the back door.

Edward didn’t move away from the door for a solid minute. At a human pace, the door was closed, and he slowly pivoted on a heel. He knelt on the floor beside my chair and the table, and took my hand in his.

“Beltrán, are you okay?”

— • —

I wasn't okay.

For the moment, I had lost my ability to speak. An endless loop of what had just happened played in my mind. And the fact of the matter was that I nearly became dinner.

I had never imagined that such a foul look from Jasper was possible.

_He looked deranged! Unhinged!!_

It was in that moment that I was awfully reminded that vampires were the world’s best predator.

But...this was Jasper. _Jasper!!_

Sweet, kind, southern gentleman that he was. Quick to crack a joke at Emmett’s expense, eternally supportive of his mate, and patiently kind for all my trivial questions for him.

In an instant, all that was gone, replaced by a lion honing in on a baby gazelle.

I was afraid. Judging by the fact that I hadn't said a word for two minutes, Edward most likely knew that I was afraid, too.

Since I was keeping the secret of vampkind, I was, once again, grateful for the fact that my boyfriend’s mental invasion was impossible to my mind. For whatever reason, my thoughts and I were immune to it.

I thanked each of my lucky stars for that, however few they were in number.

Edward could probably detect the emotions that flickered across my face, each and every single one of them. But he’d never know the reasons behind them. That was my saving grace.

“Bel?”

He breathed my name so delicately, and I suddenly knew what a candle would feel like if they were sentient enough to worry over their flame remaining lit.

One puff, and my small light would be snuffed out.

“Bel, my Dearly Beloved?”

A small intake of breath at that nickname

Things were more serious than I thought, for him to be calling me that. It was a last resort thing for Edward to use, an instant red card for him being absolutely serious in any situation.

Plus, it was him picking up on one of my favorite video game series of all times. Which makes sense, as _Kingdom Hearts_ is serious business, as is its music.

Lying is out of the window, even if I’ve gotten better at it.

_Shit!!_

“I-I don’t hold it against Jasper, I swear I _don’t_ , Edward, _please_ believe me,” I quickly said, sounding near hysterics but I meant each word!! “B-But I’m scared…”

No more words were really needed. Edward gently took my hands in his, idly rubbing the pulse points of my wrists with his thumbs. 

“If I may help, what can I do for you, Beltrán?”

I took a few moments to think of the correct words. “Gr-Grounding exercise?”

“Of course. What are five things that you see?”

— • —

“...else to say, A-And he just... _broke up_ with me, Jake…”

I sniffled, having looked down at my hands in my lap. My fingers were laced together, grasping firmly together. The tips wriggled in waves, reminiscent of a centipede in motion.

Jake wiped every single tear that fell down my face, a few days later in his room. I sat in the backseat of his Rabbit, a curled up mess in his lap. It wasn’t the most comfortable cuddle we’ve had, due to his height in a small space, but it was private.

He just held me while his shirt absorbed my tears.

By the time Grandpa Chev announced my arrival at Billy’s about an hour after _it_ happened, I was already a shaking leaf in the cab. I drove straight to La Push while feeling immensely numb.

My hands were manacled to the steering wheel as my eyes blurred up with tears.

Jake called out my name and I think he waved, but I had taken off my glasses to wipe my eyes and sob a bit. That first fracture in the glass spiderwebbed out, and was moments away from shattering…

I was urgently removed from my truck and ushered into Jake’s garage after that.

Jake had already gotten the gory details from me, had me explain things a second time since my sobbing sort of got in the way of verbal comprehension the first time.I was already just so...so _exhausted_.

It felt like the first time I ran the mile in gym last year, and I felt just as awful.

With my sad tale having been told twice, I took shuddering breaths to try and physically calm down just a little. I stared blankly ahead of me, not processing whatever I was seeing.

Instead of solely grieving my relationship, I instead had to focus on the big picture details to ensure that they remained locked in my head. Like how I had to tell Jake that the reason why...why Edward broke up with me.

How it was because he felt that we rushed into things too quickly.

As opposed to the truth, which was the fact that dating him had come with unexpected dangers not only from outside his vampire family, but also within. This came with the additional caveat of _possibly_ being subjected to a visit from the vampire royal family.

The Volturi were the _last_ kinds of vampire either the Cullens or I wanted anywhere within spitting distance of Forks!!

Nomads were bad enough, but the Volturi just _couldn’t_ come to Forks.

For if _their_ mind reading leader, Aro, got so much as one finger on any of the Cullens, my dad and I were in bigger danger than a stray, red-eyed vamp.

Just one touch of Aro’s hands to another’s skin, and he would know _every_ thought that had ever crossed someone’s mind. And the Cullens weren’t immune to his power like I was theorized to be.

So, one could safely say that I was _extremely fucking stressed_ , all things considered.

Meanwhile, there was easily a part of my thoughts in all this chaos that remained sure. And that was how conflicted I was in upkeeping immortal secrets vs. mortal heartache, dammit!!

I felt like shit for telling my best friend variations of the truth that were interposed with echoes of some of Edward’s _bullshit_ words.

“ _I rushed into something I wasn't ready for, Bel. I'm sorry.”_

I knew he was lying about that, his supposed primary reason, but it still hurt to imagine.

Looking back on the eight months we had been together, Edward was setting the stage for our relationship from the outset. I mean, he confirmed his most important secret to me while condemning to that same fate, too.

And this is where we stood, now? Fuck that.

One might be glad that, amidst the rest of the bull he tried to feed me, Edward managed to throw me a shred of honesty. It was just extremely unfortunate that the only truth spoken was the danger I faced as a human in the world of vampires.

This one―being me, that is―wasn’t so glad, in the end. Not when the bit of honesty couldn’t at all really justify, to my mind, being kicked off an amazing, golden magic carpet ride without a parachute.

All of this is what I had verbally vomited to Jake while crying in his arms. It was a real highlight of my short life.

It reeeeeeally was…

By the end of the night, I was endlessly apologizing to Jake for spilling all this shit onto him and for ruining his shirt in the back of his car.

Jake just continued to hold me, said very kind and nice things. Jake also promised me that he would joyously kick Edward’s ass on _sight_ if he ever saw that boy around town.

The immortal boy of living stone that broke my heart and made me into a complete mess of a being, threatened by a boy with mortal bones to break in the process.

Jake made me laugh for the first time in hours when he said that. I needed a good laugh.

— • —

December happened.

— • —

In and out of school, my friends wouldn’t let me sulk for more than a month. Try as I might, there was only so long I could play dumb whenever they had brought it up.

Jess had literally said, “Look, Bel. That shitstain doesn’t deserve _twenty-four hours_ of your sadness. A week, maybe, but anything more than a month and I _will_ slap the pity out of you.”

Angie was horrified when Jess gave me that spiel over a surprise pizza dinner at my house. But that made me actually snort with laughter, so it was fine. I remembered looking over at Angie and Eric after that, as they were heatedly whispering to each other. 

They had suddenly stopped talking to gawk at me.

“Bel,” Eric said gently. “This might be weird and I’m so sorry, but I’ve missed that sound, man.”

Angie and Eric sat on either side of me on the couch while Jess occupied the chair.

The food was sprawled out on the coffee table, the TV was tuned to MTV per Jess’s request, and I was on my fourth slice of my favorite pizza. Nothing could beat pepperoni, bell pepper, chicken, and pineapple with no cheese.

_Delicious!!_

Honestly? Something felt weird, but I couldn’t figure out what or why that was.

Yet there I was, eating pizza with some of my best friends. And on each of their faces were variations of relief. For god’s sake, Eric _just_ said that he missed my snort, of all things. _What??_

“You...you missed my snort?” I felt like a dumb parrot, utilizing those words in that order with a tone of pure confusion. “It...it didn’t go anywhere? It’s not even capable of leaving?”

Three pairs of eyes that held relief now had concern in their gazes. Angie reached over to gently squeeze my knee.

“Bel,” she said carefully. “We know that you’ve been having a rough time. We do. We’ve _seen_ the changes that you’ve gone through.” A pause. “That was the first time I’ve seen you laugh in all this time, Bel. Since...then.”

I saw a tear snake down her cheek, fall off her chin.

Her brownie eyes stayed fixed on mine, and there was truth in them and in her words. I knew Angie was right, but I also couldn’t believe it. _I-I’ve laughed_ , I wanted to say, to prove her wrong.

But I couldn’t remember. I could not pull from my murky memory the last time I had laughed in front of Angie.

Or Jess. Or Eric. Or, thinking about it more, my dad.

For that matter, I suddenly couldn’t think of the date. All I knew was that, after I got home from school, the three of them showed up at my door with food in hand thirty minutes later.

When was the last time the three of them came over here, together?

Or when just the girls were here?

Just Eric? Either Angie or Jess?

I didn’t have the answers to any of these questions. But for the first time in...I didn’t even know how long. For the first time in a while, I felt…

Something. Anything, really. I _felt_.

“What?”

I felt my eyes go wide as I spoke the word, and it felt like I was seeing the three of them with my glasses on.

For the record, my glasses had been upstairs in my room, and I realized I was watching TV without them on. Which explained why the TV was so blurry.

_Oops?_

“Bel,” Jess said. And this wasn’t like any other time that she had said my name.

It wasn’t in exasperation due to me acting like an idiot, nor was it in agitation at my pushing her buttons a bit too much. I didn’t even think she _had_ said my name quite like that before.

She hadn’t said my name with so much...sympathy. I sort of didn’t like it.

“Bel,” she said again. “Sweetie. You know that we love you, right?” I nodded slowly. “And you know that we care about you, right?”

I frowned, feeling my heart beat faster in my chest. It sounded so loud in my ears, I was sure they heard it, too. “Jess, where are you going with this?”

Jess bit her lip, and seemed to back down even though she didn’t move. She glanced over to Angie, then Eric. To my right, Eric turned a little to more directly face me.

“Bel, can I be honest with you?”

_Uh oh._

“I don’t know, Eric, I’m feeling anxious all of a sudden. Is everything okay?”

“ _Is_ everything okay, Bel?” He paused, too, eyeing me worriedly. “You’ve...sort of been like a zombie for the last month or so, Bel. We’ve been really worried about you.”

“Worried about me? I’m fine, why would you―”

“Bel, don’t,” Jess interjected firmly, a familiar fire in her eyes. It was a look she’d get when she was being stubborn. “Don’t tell us you’re fine, because you _haven’t_ been.”

“Jess,” Eric said, voice full of warning. 

Jess opened her mouth to say something, but Angie lightly patted her thigh and left it there. Jess closed her mouth, though she glared at Eric before her eyes softened up as she looked at Angie.

_Whoa. Why is her hand on Jess’s thigh like that? And what’s with that major eye contact?_

With a genuinely apologetic look aimed at me, Jess said, “I mean to say...we know you’re hurting, Bel. We do. We just...want to help you hurt a little less, maybe.”

“If you wanna talk, we’re here to listen,” Eric said. “If you just wanna watch crappy TV (“Hey!” Jess protested), we’ll do that, too. We just want you to know that...you aren’t alone, Bel.”

I looked into the faces of my friends one by one. That’s when I saw what they were trying to tell me all afternoon without words.

I’d been so wrapped up in my own head, I wasn’t able to really see―or maybe I didn’t _want_ to see―that my world hadn’t crumbled around me. Sure, there were significant and major cracks, now, but it and I were still intact.

Overwhelmed. I was feeling overwhelmed.

That’s what that weird, bubbling sensation in my chest was. It was warm, a little foreign yet also familiar. Benign, too, not unwelcome.

I started crying, which made Angie cry, too. She was the first to launch a hug at me. Eric wrapped his arms around the both of us, and Jess was practically in my lap to join the hug.

I felt like I could breathe.

— • —

At school the next day, I felt like an alien. Or, more accurately, I felt like the new student all over again, which might’ve been worse.

For one thing, I didn’t realize that it was already the twelfth of January.

When I walked into my first class, I was extremely anxious to begin with. And when I looked up at the whiteboard, I saw today's date.. Panic seized me, as I vaguely remembered Christmas happening with Billy, Jake, and the Clearwaters.

_And now it’s suddenly January?! Since when??_

I simultaneously didn’t realize that there _was_ homework due. 

Luckily, the completed assignment was neatly stashed in my school binder, and I passed it forward. The rest of the morning passed in this manner, for the most part.

I was given little attention in each class, I quietly did all my classwork, and I mostly kept to myself.

By the time lunch came around, I was needlessly apprehensive.

I got in line for food, telling myself that they wouldn’t be anywhere in sight. They hadn’t been seen in the cafeteria since then, though they were present for every class save for those rare sunny days.

Graciously as always in this last month or so, one of my friends escorted me to our usual table; today, that was Eric. And, just as I had that first day nearly a year ago, I looked around where we sat to see familiar faces that didn’t really look at me.

_That kinda hurts._

Tyler Crowley was chatting up Ben Costa, the latter of which didn’t really sit with us often. Or, maybe he did, and I was just out of the loop. _Plausible_.

Interestingly enough, Lauren Miller wasn’t hanging off her boyfriend, Tyler. She quietly sat on Jess’s free side, and pointedly didn’t look Tyler’s way, not even once. _Did they break up?_

Where had my mind _been_ these last few weeks…?

“Bel, do you want my fries?”

“Huh?” I looked up at who had spoken to me. Angie slightly leaned across the table, patiently looking at me with a kind smile.

“You didn’t get any fries,” she pointed out, and I looked down at my tray. I didn’t get much, apparently. An apple, a bottle of pink lemonade, and a bag of chips sat before me. And I didn’t get fries?

_But I love fries…_

“Want mine?”

“Uh. Sure, Ang. Thanks.” She smiled widely as she placed the little plate on my tray.

“I know you love fries,” Angie said with a wink as she stole some from Jess, who was too busy chatting at Lauren to notice. She casually leaned against Jess’s shoulder, and in response, Jess coiled an arm around Angie’s waist.

Okay, I had definitely been missing something…

 _OH SHIT!! Was_ Jess _the girl that Angie confessed to?!_

Those thoughts had to be entertained for later, as Eric gently nudged me to show me something, and we fell into a conversation.

— • —

After school, Angie invited me out for a little drive. I accepted on the basis that I could drop off Grandpa Chev at home first, so she followed me in her car.

Chev and I had obviously gotten some major bonding time and mileage over the past month.

I had almost forgotten how much on gas I was saving before… Er, when I was getting rides every day, that is. Thinking about that made me more sad than I’d liked to admit.

I quickly ditched my truck when we got to my house and zipped to her car, as it had started to rain and I didn’t bring an umbrella. Which was dumb, but I didn’t even remember where I last put it.

Or when I last used it, for that matter!

“Uh, I didn’t account for the rain,” Angie said en route to wherever, driving at a slower and safer pace. “I wanted to take you to Port Angeles for dinner, but I feel really anxious about driving all that way in the rain. Do you mind if we change our plans to be more local, Bel?”

“Ang, I love you, but ease up on the steering wheel, hun. We don’t know if your insurance covers that kind of damage.” Angie just squawked in what I presumed was surprise, given how dumbstruck she looked even while focusing on the slickened road.

“Wh-When you put it like that,” she said with a very light giggle. Her reaction made me second guess the tone of my words, and I peered over at her through my periphery.

Thankfully, she appeared to be in good spirits, chuckling quietly to herself while shaking her head. Not in offence, as her face was quite open and relaxed, but more like how I remembered her reacting.

Surprised, amused and/or entertained, and just being completely over my shit in the most comedic way!

To my horror, Angie suggested that we check out The Lodge.

It was the nicest grillhouse in town, and, while affordable for Charlie with a stable career in a top position, I didn’t want any of my friends dropping _that_ much cash for a meal.

“A-Ang, no, please, that’s too much money, hun,” I protested at once with a laugh. “I’m a cheap date, we could hit the deli at the grocery store, really. Get me a bag of potato wedges and I’ll be set.”

“True, you are a cheap date,” Angie said thoughtfully. With a glance at me, she winked and said, “My favorite cheap date, I’ll have you know.”

I giggled with a big roll of my eyes. “Ah, gee, what an honor, Ang! Thanks so much.”

“There’s that rapier wit I’ve missed.” Her words said two things that I instantly picked up on.

One, she totally quoted _The Nanny_ somehow; I couldn’t fathom a guess from which season it was from, though, let alone the episode.

And two, there was an incredible fondness in her voice that I often heard when she and I would delve into deeper waters for more meaningful and cherished conversation.

Hearing that just made my throat feel positively dry.

I had to keep staring straight ahead through the windshield, as I wasn’t capable of words. Gnawing at my lower lip briefly helped me from keeping myself together. When that failed, I clenched my hands together in my lap.

“O-Oh.” That was it. That was my limit for words. Or for thoughts.

I heard Angie’s quiet giggle. “So, about The Lodge? What if we got our food to go and just ate in the car?”

— • —

Over my favorite BLT cheeseburger, glorious potato wedges, and a slice of apple pie for dessert, I pigged out with Angie in her Sentra.

Smartly prepared for any occasion, Angie produced a large umbrella that we traveled under in and out of the restaurant. The hostess merely sighed bemusedly about us getting to-go in the rain.

Angie footed the bill, and I left a lovely tip for the hostess.

We took our food to the emptier part of The Lodge’s parking lot for some privacy. She turned on the radio at a low but audible volume over the deluge.

Angie and I ate our dinner in companionable silence, which I at first found to be a little disconcerting. By that point, I wasn’t much of a chatterbox, and it was as if I forgot how to hold a conversation with one of my best friends.

I hated that feeling. But, luckily, this was Angie we were talking about. Silence with Angie was welcoming. Refreshing, even.

She wasn’t one to fill the silence with chatter, like Jess often did. Angie would let me be to my own devices, and we ate peacefully. Every now and then, we’d make appreciative noises for how good our food was.

We’d laugh whenever we _mmm_ ’d at the same time. It was a fun, simple time. And even better, Angie once again offered me her fries.

“I think I might’ve overeaten,” she confessed with a chuckle. “Would you mind being my garbage disposal, dearest Bel?”

“You needn’t ask, sweetest Angie.” I smiled at her, and she smiled back.

It felt wonderful to fall back into that familiar way of being with Ang. She was such a delight to spend time with, no matter what we did.

I suddenly wondered how her family was, how the twins were; she loved her younger brothers endlessly. They were her favorite people in the world.

I took a good chug from my water bottle, and sighed contentedly. I forgot how great water could just _be_ as a drink. _It really was about the simple things, sometimes._

“An―” I stopped, but caught myself and I cleared my throat. “Um, Angela?”

I made sure to use her full name. It’s how I showed I was being serious about something.

“Yes, Bel?” Angie gave me her full attention as she took a sip of her milkshake.

“Er, um. I just...wanted to say that...I’m sorry.”

I quickly looked away, no longer able to look her in the eyes. Mine prickled with tears that felt too warm to handle. My breath was extra shaky with emotion, and I tried to ignore the extra dose of embarrassment that came with it.

“Bel…” _Oh no, there it was...her sympathy voice…_

I stood no chance against that soothing voice of hers. Down went the tears, silent faucets.

— • —

By the end of my emotional conversation with Angie, we were both crying messes. We were glad that we had so many napkins.

I told her everything. Well, everything from the human perspective of things, naturally. And I do mean _everything_.

How I wasn’t really aware that time was passing from my own memory; I heavily relied on writing the due dates of all assignments in a school notebook. That was the one successful way for me to mark time.

I hadn’t even been writing in my diaries anymore. At least not since that first entry, which I showed her, too.

My handwriting was already pretty bad to begin with, but with all of the emotions I felt that night after pouring my heart out to Jake…? There were a lot of tear stains on the pages, which had ruined the ink in some places.

It felt like the perfect visual metaphor for my mind and heart since _it_ happened. A splattered, ruined diary page. How fitting.

Angie was even subject to the feelings I had about...just feeling so numb, sometimes. How everything felt grey and uninteresting, or how not even spending time with _Jake_ could really lift my spirits.

How it wasn’t long before Jake stopped calling me anymore. I couldn’t even feel hurt for too long regarding Jake, as I knew it was all my fault.

_I_ was the one pushing everyone away, after all. Whether I was aware of it or not, it was all on me, and I offered Angie my sincerest apologies for treating her how I did. I cried the most, then.

With some grace of my lucky stars, Angie didn’t hold anything against me. She said that there was nothing to forgive, and that just made me cry even more.

I was so cosmically lucky to have a friend like Angela, there was no doubt about it.

Well after we were both calm enough to eat our desserts, Angie proceeded to catch me up to speed about the going-ons of our cafeteria crowd.

She and Jess _were_ dating, I squealed too much in response, and Angie was blushing like wild!! She quietly offered me her thanks for inspiring her to come out at all, as well as to confess to the girl she’s been swooning for since elementary school.

_Who doesn’t love a good childhood romance story?_

Ben and Angie had become closer friends overall, and he was so happy that Angie and Jess found each other after all. I was glad that there were no awkward feelings between them.

Ben was apparently very good friends with Tyler now, which no one really saw coming. But they apparently had a lot more in common than they realized.

Tyler had often asked Ben to sit with us since he broke up with Lauren. I gasped at that revelation.

“ _He_ broke up with _her_?!” Angie nodded. “Why?!”

While Lauren was clearly unhappy by that, being dumped. But she handled it more gracefully than anyone expected. Well, for Lauren, anyway.

That was the point when I felt that nothing else could possibly surprise me. Mr. Banner could have been dating Coach Clapp, and I would’ve been fine with it.

Until Angie spoke again, at least.

“Yeah. Jake was really worried, too, Bel.”

Understandably, my jaw just dropped. _What?_

“Jake?” She nodded. “How do you know Jake? What??”

Looking apologetic, Angie explained that, once I stopped spending time with Jake, he fell into a deep panic. He knew why I had fallen so deeply into depression, but Jake didn’t think that I would shut him out like I did.

So, he got a hold of Angie through Charlie.

“Your dad called my mom and asked if he could give me Jake’s number,” Angie explained. “And, erm, I already had told her a little about what was going on. Sorry. But, uh, I called Jake as soon as I could, and he told me his side of things.” Angie frowned.

“Noooo, no-no, don’t frown,” I whined, feeling like crud already. “The world is sad whenever you frown, Ang…”

She told me that Jake was in rough shape, too. While I may have lost a boyfriend, Jake felt like he was losing a brother. Ang didn’t need to say anymore. I was well aware that Jake wasn’t the best at dealing with loss, sadly.

And he had already lost so much of his family as it was.

“Fuck,” I breathed in a hiss, raking my fingers through my hair. “No, I-I didn’t mean for that…!!”

Angie was quick to gently pry my fingers from head, and held my hands firmly in her own.

“He doesn’t blame you, Bel, he doesn’t,” she murmured fiercely, genuinely. She was telling the truth. Naturally.

I scoffed, wiping my eyes. “Of course not, the idiot. Ball of sunshine that he is? Ugh. I have to go see him tomorrow. I’ll try calling him tonight, too. Hopefully he’ll take my call.”

“I’m sure he’d appreciate that, Bel. Even if he doesn’t let it show.”

I gave her a look, and we both knew that he was just the type to drown his own worries than let anyone see the shadows behind his sunlight.

_Typical Jake._

“Thank you, Angie,” I said after a lull in conversation. “For everything. For keeping me in the loop. For being like...like the best sister I could ever ask for. Thank you.”

She lightly smacked my shoulder. “No, stop that! I already stopped crying!!”

I leaned over to hug her as best as I could despite the limited space, and she hugged me back.

“I love you, Bel,” she mumbled into my side, holding me tighter.

“I love you, too, Ang. Always will, hun.”

“You better!”

Angie took me home, then. And the whole drive back to my place, I had to actively fight the urge to drive all the way up to Billy’s just to see Jake.

Some things took time, after all.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Uhh, hiyra! I hope this chapter was to your liking!! Thank you for the wait!
> 
> Speaking of, um. Update of sorts from me! I've been in the process of hunting for a job, which is extra stressful thanks to COVID-19. So, whenever/if ever I get a job, it's likely that updates will be slower than they already are.
> 
> I can't speak for Future Phantom, but Present Phantom would like to think that Future will still be writing, just at a far more slower rate. So please, bear with me during this unknown time. I will keep you all updated if I secure a job.
> 
> Wish me luck, please, I really really need a job... TwT


	20. Moments of Home

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Chapter 19
> 
> No longer completely in the fog of his depression, Bel feels a little more human again, which is only a little scary. Even more scary is Bel finally talking with Jake again.
> 
> But, a good kind of scary. Hopefully.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> inspiration just hit, y'all. Here we go.

“J-Jake, wait, what do you mean―” He cut me off on the phone with a scoff.

“Don’t play dumb,” Jake said. “Give me twenty minutes, Bels. Twenty, tops.”

Jake hung up, leaving me to stare dumbly at the phone receiver for a solid fifteen seconds. 

“He...he’s serious, isn’t he.” I said that aloud to myself in subdued confirmation. I gently hung up the phone, and I became worried for his safety. Jake was a safe driver overall, but it had just begun to rain.

It took average drivers maybe thirty minutes to get between Forks and La Push when it wasn’t raining, and that time got bumped up depending on how much water was falling.

Hell, even I took at least forty minutes when I drove up there in the rain.

Then again, I did have an older car, so there’s that, too. Grandpa Chev may have been reliable, but I knew better than to test his limits. At least presuming that I still wanted my own method of transportation.

I looked up at the kitchen clock. If Jake was true to his word, he’d be here in thirteen minutes. It was a long waiting period, full of the worst thoughts to have while sitting on the couch.

Rain and driving wasn’t a kind combo for Jake’s family, so I was more than apprehensive.

Closer to seventeen minutes later, a loud knock scared me out some nervous pacing. I flew over to open the door, and was brought into a wet embrace.

I grunted softly as my face was pressed into the chest of a damp hoodie. I felt arms secure around me.

“Sorry I’m late, Bels,” said Jake’s familiar and husky voice. “Two minutes short. Disappointing, I know.”

I pulled away from his rain-drenched form, to avoid getting further drenched myself but also because he was so cold. I held his shoulders firmly, taking him in.

_When was the last time I saw him…?_

“Jacob, you idiot, you got here too fast in the rain! And why didn’t you use an umbrella? You’re going to get sick! Here, let me get you a towel.” I went to move for the hallway cabinet upstairs, but was trapped in another hug.

“Fuck the towel, Bels. I’m hugging my best friend first.”

While I had imagined scenarios in which Jake had agreed to see me, I hadn’t imagined that it would be so instant. I was banking on seeing him tomorrow at the _earliest_. Then there he was, barging into my living room while dripping rain onto the floor.

“Not if it means you’re getting sick, Billy would kill me!! Jake!!”

— • —

If you think that I didn’t shove him upstairs into the bathroom to change out of those wet clothes and take a hot shower, you’d be mistaken.

I definitely did do that.

I also took the liberty of nabbing his wet clothes to throw in the wash, and loaned Jake one of my dad’s older sweatshirts and a pair of sweatpants. Since, ya know, Jake is a tall guy and my clothes wouldn’t fit him comfortably.

He’s a damn tree, okay? I somehow forgot that his height also translated to clothes.

There was also a portion of my brain that was very aware of how anxious I was and how my anxiety was growing. I just needed to _do_ something while I had a small bubble of time away from him.

After his shower, I wrapped him up in one of my blankets to keep him warm, as the heater wasn’t really functional. We got comfortable in my room, him sitting on my bed and me on my desk chair.

_Why do I have an awful feeling of deja vu…?_

“So, how’s the weather been treating you?” Jake asked lightly, smiling in that usual way of his, warm and bright. As if I had done nothing wrong in my self-inflicted zombification.

I just stared at him with all my anxiety coiled up in my throat. “Y-You’re gonna ask me about the weather? _That’s_ what you open with?”

Jake shrugged from his cozy cocoon. “Well, the weather certainly made for an interesting turn of events when I got here, didn’t it?”

“Which could have been avoided! With an umbrella!!”

“Listen, I was in a bit of a hurry, okay? My best friend calls me after so many seasons and sunsets, and I drop everything. I left _dinner_ for your call, Bels. I hope you’re happy.”

I was already frowning, but hearing that made it deepen. “Why the hell would you leave dinner?” I gasped in horror. “Did you leave your dad at the dinner table?! Jake!!”

He waved a hand at my worries. “Nah, I didn’t. Dad had plans. It was just me and some leftover pizza.” Jake grinned, though there wasn’t as much light in his eyes this time. It was a very guarded expression.

_And it was there on his previously sunny face...because of me._

I couldn’t take it anymore, this little dance we were doing. Band-aid time.

“Jake, I’m sorry!!” I said loudly. I didn’t yell or raise my voice, I just...used more volume than usual.

For once, he had nothing to say. Jake just stared at me. His face became unreadable.

“I...I am, Jake. I-I know that I’ve been mistreating you and our friendship, and that you’ve been hurting as a result. I’m sorry for cutting you out of my life for a month and more. I’m sorry for dropping off the face of the earth. I’m sorry for hurting you in the process of my shitty coping.

“That was never my intent, Jake, sincerely. But I still hurt you, and...and I’m trying to take responsibility for that. I’m just...so, so _sorry_ , Jake, I-I am!”

Taking into account the fact that I hadn’t burst into more tears spoke volumes to me. And my voice didn’t quaver much.

Little victories, right?

Jake stared. And stared.

And _stared_.

So, I’ve never really liked being stared at.

Not a fan of it. Made me feel very self-conscious everytime I caught some staring. Jake, of all people, staring at me wasn’t as nice as I presumed it would be. Even my best friend staring wasn’t a positive experience.

_Can’t stand this!!_

“Jake. Jake, please stop staring and please say something, man, c’mon. I’m freaking out over here. I-If I’ve―”

He quietly raised a hand, palm facing me, and my frantic rambling came to a stop.

Two palpable heartbeats later, he folded down all fingers but one and turned his hand around. By the time I figured out he just flipped me off, I had choked out a confused little sound.

And then, the person that eternally made me cringe and groan the most―my best friend, one Jacob Black―and gave me his usual, shit-eating grin.

The one that wordlessly just said, “I was fucking with you.”

_Oh, if I were a fucking witch, Jake would be cursed into becoming my raven sidekick!!_

— • —

To no one’s surprise, Jake and I were _also_ face waterfalls after that. We hashed things out for at _least_ an hour, which exhausted us.

The excess of tears made me think that there was going to just be an overall theme of crying in my near future. _Not exactly looking forward to that…_

Suddenly, the blare of the old washing machine’s completion scared the sobs and snot out of us.

We got kicked into high gear, both laughing dumbly as he followed me to load up the dryer. I was glad for his company, as Charlie must’ve placed the dryer sheets _just_ out of my convenient reach.

One of those ways the old man liked to mess with me that had become a game to us.. Our war raged on.

Jake just laughed and called me “Shorty” as he retrieved the sheets and threw three into the dryer. He closed the machine and started up the dryer to my preferred settings, all on his own accord.

This had me reeling for two primary reasons, one of which was greatly less appealing.

They were as follows:

One, Jake calling me “Shorty” was weird on all accounts, and I’m upset that my ears had to be subjected to that at all. _Eww._

And two, Jake knowing just how I liked to do my laundry was a touching gesture of care that I didn’t know how to process for a bit. _When did I ever tell him that? And why would I?_

In effort to pretend that Jake never said that word to me, I slowly stopped walking back to the living room, quickly put on my best poker face, and turned right around to scrutinize him.

He became a deer in headlights, stopping dead in his tracks. “Bels,” he said tentatively. “Bels, are you okay…?”

Leaning into how alarmed I made him, I evenly said, “I wanted to hug you, that’s all.” and slammed myself into him; as he’d so often do with me, the shit.

The moment my arms wrapped around Jake's too warm form, I felt...

…I felt _home._

— • —

With my incredibly embarrassing idea to not only tell Jake that he truly was my best friend and that I loved him infinitely, but to also say that he felt like _home_ to me?

I knew getting sentimental with Jake would be a dual-edged sword. It was.

The asshole said he’d just hold it against me for the rest of our lives. “I’ll engrave ‘Once said that Jacob Black felt like home’ on your tombstone if you die first, to really prove that you meant it.”

I rolled my eyes so hard, greatly fought the temptation to cut the short, and sighed into his shoulder.

“This coming from my best friend. Great. I’m McFucked.”

Jake was laughing so hard, he had to rely exclusively on me to prevent him from falling over. I was just glad that I didn’t drop his stupid ass.

“You know you love me,” he said when he could breathe and stand without my support, wiping his eyes.

“Don’t remind me,” I muttered tragically. He kissed my cheek after another laugh, and I couldn't fight to keep a smile off of my face. “Yeah, I do love you, Jake. Very much.”

Jake just blew a kiss at me and winked.

_Idiot. But he’s my idiot. I guess._

An hour later, Charlie came home, and we rushed downstairs to see him, nearly vibrating with excitement.

“Bels! Jake!” Dad exclaimed, eyes wide as they switched between the two of us. “Good, uh, good to see you, Jake!” I could tell that Dad was scrambling for understanding of what he saw.

Naturally, Jake played it off, and gave Charlie a big grin. “Hey, Charlie! Just came to kidnap Bel for the weekend, if that’s okay with you! Also, thanks for letting me borrow some of your clothes.”

“Why did you need to borrow my clothes?” Charlie asked, understandably confused. I gently slapped Jake across the stomach, and he grunted softly.

“He got drenched in the rain and I made him shower and change clothes,” I explained quietly, throwing Jake a glare. I returned my attention to Charlie, and he just sighed. He rubbed his eyelids.

“What’s this about a kidnapping?” Charlie said, and he looked at me for the answer.

“Um. Jake came by to see if I wanted to sleepover at his house for the whole weekend, and I wanted to wait for you to come home first. To, uh, let you know what I was up to.”

“Oh,” Charlie breathed quietly, then cleared his throat. “Right. Thanks, kid. Uh.”

“So!” Jake exclaimed before my dad could go on. “I’m just gonna wait outside then. Good to see ya again, Charlie!” Jake picked up and threw my backpack full of provisions over his shoulder, and plucked my large umbrella from the couch before heading outside.

The front door closed, and the sound seemed to echo through the house. I remained at the foot of the stairs, a hand on the railing, eyeing my dad nervously.

Charlie just stood there for a few seconds, pinning me with his eyes. He looked away, and put his hands on his hips while leaning his weight on one foot.

Or, as I called it, his Thinking Pose.

Dad looked back down on me, a wild mix of emotions rapidly flitting across his face in succession.

“Uh, Bels?” Charlie said quietly; his voice was strained. “You, uh… How are you holding up, bud?”

Clearly, we both felt awkward in the moment.

“Honestly, Dad? I...I feel a bit better.”. He took that fairly well, as happiness won out on his face. His eyes crinkled with his smile and everything.

“Good. That’s good to hear, Bels. Really is.” He sniffled a little, and I went right on over to give him as big a hug as I could.

“I’m sorry for worrying you, Dad,” I whispered into his shoulder, and he returned the embrace. He gave my back a few good pats before squeezing tight.

“Don’t you start, son,” Charlie said gruffly before pulling back to kiss more forehead and hold my face. “We can talk whenever you’re comfortable, okay?” I nodded smally. “Okay. Go on, then, Bels. You know how he gets.”

“Thanks, Dad. I love you.”

“I love you too, Bels. Have fun. See you Sunday night, kiddo.”

Chuckling, I hugged him one last time, then joined Jake out on the porch.

He already had the umbrella open and resting along his shoulder. Jake grinned and came over to wrap an arm around my waist as he led me to the Rabbit’s passenger side.

Once we were on the road, I said, “I didn’t think you’d fix the Rabbit so fast, Jake! It’s running like a dream.”

He smiled real big, puffing up his chest a little. “This is his maiden voyage, and I couldn’t ask for a better way to start his journey.”

“Cheeseball.” After my stunt earlier, there was no way I could tell him how flattered I was that he chose to drive the Rabbit to see me. Not yet, anyways.

“The cheesiest!”

En route back to his house, I reprimanded him for driving recklessly in general, but especially in the rain. I brought it up because we took way longer to get to his house than it took him to get to mine.

With that out of my system, it was back to our regularly scheduled programming.

Stepping back into that familiar red house felt like I woke up from a bad dream. Nothing had changed much in my time away, and that was rather reassuring.

Jake went to the kitchen, fetched a plate of pizza from the microwave, and resumed eating from the already bitten slice.

“Are you hungry, Bel?” He asked through a mouthful.

“Well, if I was, my appetite got ruined by all of your seafood.”

Jake lifted an eyebrow. “Seafood? Bel, this is a regular pizza, since you don’t like anchovies. What part of―” He cut himself off, then his face fell. “Oh. Ha, ha, Bel. Comedic genius, ain’tcha?”

I smirked. “Took you long enough, smart guy.”

“No food for you, then.”

“Jake!!”

— • —

The leftovers of Jake’s dinner were demolished, and we had relocated to the couch, as per our custom.

While I had already gotten the bigger globs of emotions out of my lungs, there was still some muck that Jake wanted to excavate. Specifically, Jake wanted an in-depth analysis of how I had been holding up in the day to day at school.

I didn’t know about in-depth, but I’d do my best.

“It’s...it’s been a little hard, I guess.” I tangled my fingers together in my lap. “Maybe more than a little hard. I thought I would be okay at first, seeing as we didn’t have any classes together. Which, thank god that I’m at a lower level than him in almost all classes, since it’s more tolerable to not even think about him being there in a class with me. Not now.

“But that relief went away real quick. Because since then, I’ve just...been completely ignored, Jake. It’s like I don’t even exist anymore. To the _both_ of them! I guess I expected as much from him, but from _her_? I...I don’t know, I just thought that she and I would still be chummy, at least.”

Names weren’t really needed. Jake already had...I wouldn’t say a hate for them, but a _very_ strong dislike of those two. And I could see in his face that knowing that they were ignoring me greatly upset him.

I didn’t think I would cry again, as I’ve been a crying saga as of yesterday. I did feel very down in the dumps, but it was tolerable.

Jake deserved all the credit for keeping me afloat, though. No questions asked.

“I’m just...hurt,” I concluded to the floor, staring fixedly at the tip of my shoes. “More hurt than I already thought was possible, I guess. Go figure, right?”

I felt Jake scoot over right next to me and wrap an arm around my shoulders. “Shit, hun. That sounds awful to go through. I...I don’t really know what to say, Bels, gotta be honest here. This is just a little out of my depth. But thank you for telling me. I’m glad you could get more of this shit off your shoulders. What I can do is happily offer you a little vacation from all of that while you’re here! Would a mini-vacay from home help you, maybe…?”

Jake threw me his famed puppy pout, and I had no chance of resisting. Giggling, I leaned into his embrace and kissed his cheek before mashing our cheeks together. I backed off when he started to tickle me in retaliation.

I accused him of playing dirty, and he just scoffed while smirking at me.

“ _Anyways_ , Jacob. Yes, a mini-vacay just might help. And I appreciate you and it, Jake, for letting me just...talk. That’s more than enough, to me. Thank you, hun.” I smiled at him and, when his eyes closed (thus letting down his guard), I knocked my forehead against his.

We both recoiled in pain, which had me laughing but Jake groaning. That only made me laugh more, and Jake blew a raspberry at me in response.

For the rest of the evening, we watched TV in the living room, talked through whatever we watched, and cuddled up into each other for warmth. His heater wasn’t the greatest, either.

And I definitely wasn’t shy about kicking him away when his ridiculous body heat overwhelmed me.

That boy was a living furnace. Which, while great for a short drive in colder weather, was a little unbearable during long cuddling sessions.

“No, Bels, you’re letting the cold in,’ Jake complained when I ripped myself away from him and moved to the opposite side of the couch for _the_ last time. I even took the blanket with me.

“And _you’re_ gonna make me faint from heat exhaustion, you demon of _fire_!”

Jake glared at me, and snootily tossed his nose in the air. “Don’t gotta be so rude,” he mumbled before flipping me off. He got up to get his hoodie from the kitchen, and returned to the living room with it on.

“Little help, son!”

Having _just_ sat down when his father called him, Jake let out a heavy sigh, and bemoaned to the ceiling, “I have been forsaken by the deities of comfort and relaxation…”

That cracked me the _hell_ up, and I was _still_ laughing about it when Billy was able to move himself around. He came in to see me busting a gut on the couch, curled up in a ball and clutching my stomach.

Billy chuckled, a sound-bubble of surprise. “Don’t lose a lung there, spud. Lungs are hard to come by these days.” Still laughing, I merely waved in his general direction and gave a thumbs up. “Welcome home, Jingle Bel.”

Hearing that name sobered me up more swiftly than I thought it would. My laughter petered out and I sat up on my knees, taking slow breaths. Billy just shook his head, laughing, and went into the kitchen.

“Any food leftover for me, son?” Billy called out. Jake got up and went to join his father.

“Not really, but I can make you something.”

“Sounds good. Gonna make more than just dinner, so get ready. Bel?”

“Yeah, Billy?” I called out.

“Get your ass in here and help my mess of son bake us some pies.”

_That has my attention!!_

“Pies?!” I exclaimed. “Hell yeah!!”

— • —

Pies. We made _pies_ the first day I was back with Jake for Black Friday!! Which was naturally commandeered into a family event, and I wouldn’t have had it any other way.

Under Billy’s patient and precise guidance, Jake and I worked our way through the pie-baking process from scratch. Well, mostly from scratch.

“Thank god that we have a stand mixer,” Jake swooned as the machine began working the dough. “Saves us so much manual labor, besides rolling the crust out.”

That shocked me. “Did you guys do all this by hand before?”

Jake nodded. “Yup. It’s the way my dad taught me. He learned how to bake them for my mom.” That instantly brought a smile to my face, and I looked over at Billy.

“That’s incredibly sweet of you, Billy, wow! Did she like your pies?”

Billy cackled. “Not at first. That one was such a disaster, Sarah couldn’t swallow that fist bite!!” Billy slapped his thigh, laughing still. “Almost made her puke. I got better, though, and she got to loving my cherry pies the most.”

“Which is. coincidentally. my favorite pie that he makes,” Jake added, happily gesturing to the large bowls of cherries awaiting us on the counter.

“Alright, kids, enough talking, more baking!” Billy said with a laugh.

Once we finished assembling and baking the two pies, Billy _insisted_ that we wait for them to cool completely before we ate them. “Sarah would have my head, Bels, you understand.”

From then on, the weekend flew by much too quickly for my liking.

Saturday was Jake’s birthday, and I was so glad that I had enough sense to pack his gift with me. I may have been in the throes of depression when I realized the day was upcoming, but I wasn’t about to forget getting my best friend a present.

Before that, though, was breakfast. Well, brunch, as the three of us had slept in.

Last night, Billy and I had agreed to waking up before Jake in order to make him a birthday breakfast. We were both glad that Jake tended to sleep like a rock during weekends, so we were able to knock out his favorite foods before he woke.

Eating with both Jake and Billy was both different yet similar to what I imagined it’d be like to see my dad and I eating together.

Jake bickered with his dad for the fun of it, and Billy wasn’t shy in responding in kind. A key difference was probably the fact that they openly cussed at one another, which was a deep part of their banter and humor.

I couldn’t see myself openly swearing at _my_ dad, but I definitely appreciated their candor. It showed how close Billy was with his son. It also showed how much Billy loved swearing. I related well to that.

Following breakfast was the rest of the evening to enjoy with Jake.

“Birthdays are just other days for us,” Jake explained. “We just have a meal or two together, just the two of us. Then I can go hang out with my friends or whatever. And since it’s the _weekend_ , there’s just so much more trouble to get into.”

That had me grinning. “What kind of trouble are we getting into, then?”

“You’ll see, hun.”

Billy jokingly interjected, “Bel, maybe _you_ can be a better influence on him. Try and lead him down a good path, hm?”

I heaved a sigh. “It may be too late for that, Billy.”

“One could hope, Bel. One could hope.”

“I’m right here, you dicks!” Jake cried indignantly.

Billy and I just cracked up.

— • —

“...lo and behold, I’m actually Sam’s half-brother. Who would’ve thought, right?”

I was staring at Embry with the widest gaze.

“Holy hell, dude. That is some soap opera level shit right there.” Embry shrugged, tucking some hair behind his ear. “Like, that is worthy of some telenovelas on Mexican channels, I’m _not_ even kidding.”

At least he laughed at that. “Would you be surprised if I told you that you aren’t the first person to tell me that? So, if I ever wanna sell my story to TV stations, Mexico is out as it’s clearly too common of a plot.”

Jake had already planned for us to hang out with Quil and Embry. They didn’t have a set plan, they just set the desire to hang in motion to go with whatever they were scheming.

Quil came with Embry in his Jeep to pick us up, and we ended up at First Beach.

“But it’s coooold, guys!” That was my first complaint after leaving the cozy warmth of the Jeep. I was even pouting, too, which Jake said tragic.

Embry had come over and placed a bulky but soft bundle in my arms. “Don’t worry, we got you. We’ve got winter-tested blankets right here for ya, Cali boy.”

“I’d love to fight that, but I did spend a good chunk of my life in California. And it wasn't disgustingly hot like Arizona, so I’ll take it.”

Hours after brunch with Billy, the four of us were on a birthday, beachside picnic.

We sat on a blanket of massive length and thickness, used exclusively for the beach. The blankets I carried were just two smaller blankets that could entirely cover two people.

And I was the only one bundled in one of those blankets, so far. Meanwhile, Embry and Quil wore beach-worthy clothes for a California beach, not a Washington beach.

Quil wore shorts and a tank top (“He likes to show off his physique,” Jake said), Embry was in a tank top and jeans, and they both wore flip flops. Jake was also in just a T-shirt, but at least he wore jeans and shoes to supplement it.

Then again, he _was_ a human furnace that didn’t need to bundle up a fraction like I did.

Minutes danced away as the four of us got to talking. We talked about so much, I barely even thought of the cold. (Read: I was only able to tolerate the cold because Jake eventually cuddles into the blanket with me and kept me tolerably toasty warm!)

What can I say, other than I got too cold.

“Jake. Bel. Are you hungry?” Quil asked in a dramatic, shitty accent as the grey sky began to darken. Sunset was soon, or it was already underway.

“I could eat,” Jake said while I said, “Feed us, please!”

“We know, Jake,” Embry said.

“I’m a growing boy, Embry. Of course I could eat.”

“You raise a good point,” Quil conceded with a nod, and moved his big backpack to the center of the blanket..

“Bel, get ready,” Embry said with a grin. “Quil is the _best_ cook our age that we know.”

“Yeah, pretty much,” Quil agreed, surprising me a little. Quil threw me a wink.

“Humble, aren’t you?” I asked sarcastically.

“I don’t think he knows the definition of that word,” Embry said, rubbing his chin as if deep in thought. Jake joined in by stroking a long, imaginary beard.

I grinned. “He could be. Especially if the food he made is good.”

Quil leveled me with what could be interpreted as a dirty look. “Are you doubting my kitchen skills, Swan?”

I narrowed my eyes right back with a smug smirk. “What if I am, Ateara the Fifth?”

Jake and Embry gasped as one. “He dared invoke his full title,” Embry breathed. Jacob looked appalled, and fainted against me.

“Oh. It is _on_ , Swan!!” Quil cried, unpacking his backpack.

Soon, six containers were spread out along the blanket. In addition were four plates from home, rolls of silverware wrapped in napkins, and bottles of water.

Quil pointed to each container before opening it, like a game show host.

“Here, we have some dope mustard potato salad, I hope you like olives and celery. That one has a chicken Caesar salad, but with spinach instead of lettuce. Next up is a massive tuna sandwich cut four ways, since I accidentally doubled the bread recipe from the loaf I made yesterday.”

“You _made_ bread?” I exclaimed in fascination. “That's so cool!!”

Quil smirked at me, pointing to the fourth container.

“Jake told me that you like salted soft pretzels. They're probably the easiest baked good one can make.”

Stars had to be dancing in my eyes. “Quil. Never doubt my love for you after today. I can’t believe you made me pretzels!”

“I also brought mustard packets, since mustard is obviously the best dipping choice.” Embry shot him a glare, and I imagined that he had a differing opinion. “I didn't make those last two containers, and I want no credit for those abominations.”

Embry scoffed. “Don’t listen to him, Bel. _I_ , at least, made sure to get us dessert, as Gordon Ramsey over here doesn't bake. I made sure to get Oreos and oatmeal raisin cookies from the store.” I made a heart with my fingers for Embry, and he returned the gesture; he remembered how much I loved those cookies!

“Do you want to eat or not, Embry?”

“I do, Chef,” Embry said, quickly changing his tune.

“Then shut the hell up.”

Jake rolled his eyes. “Embry is whipped for Quil’s cooking, he just won't admit it.”

“Shut up, Jake, he can _hear_ you!” Embry hissed.

Looking right at me, Quil said, “Looks like it's just the two of us eating today.”

“I'm fine with that, actually!”

Quil grinned. “Good. Let's dig in.”

“Hey!” Jake and Embry cried at once.

— • —

There was a part of me that didn’t want the day to end. Mostly because it _was_ for Jake’s birthday, as it was the first I got to spend with him.

But if the day ended, that meant that Sunday would be here. I’d be that much closer to going back home. And going back home meant going back to my thoughts and feelings, alone.

My room wasn’t much of a fun place to be, anymore.

Sadly, Embry had to get going, as it was a few hours after sunset, and his mom was kinda strict with him. We packed up and he took us back, but only after promising that I would be hanging out with them more often.

“Aw, do you miss me already, Embry?” I teased, looking at him through the rearview mirror.

“Of course I do, Bel,” he said, smiling back at me in the reflection. “You’re my friend, too.”

“And mine,” Quil said, turning around in the front seat to wink at me. “And don’t you forget it.”

“I won’t,” I said solemnly.

Once we got back to Billy’s, we all got out for goodbye hugs, and Billy called out for Jake to give them some leftover pie. He ducked inside real quick and came back out with the pie in a container.

“Better bring me back that Tupperware this time, Quil, I mean it!” Billy called out from the front door. “ _And_ the other two you stole from me, while you’re at it!”

“Dunno what you’re talking about Billy!” Quil cried as Embry drove off, but gave him a thumb’s up.

Jake went on ahead into the bathroom, saying he’d be a while. I followed Billy inside and closed the door behind me. Billy heaved a sigh at me.

“The curse of feeding pie to Jake and his friends when they were growing up. Now, they want more like damned _vultures_.”

I patted his shoulder in sympathy. “It’s a cruel world out there, Billy.”

“Sure is, Bel. Suuuure is.”

Billy turned his chair around to go to his room, and I went to the kitchen to refill my water bottle. But then I heard him follow me, and I faced him after my bottle was full. He looked conflicted about something.

“Billy? Something on your mind…?”

He looked up at me, and I couldn’t fathom whatever was in his dark eyes. He gestured to the kitchen table, and so I sat. Billy came over to the side of the table without a chair and folded his hands together on it.

_This can’t be good…_

Needing to have a laugh, I said, “Whatever it is, I didn’t do it. Blame your son.” Billy just smiled, but shook his head.

“No, you’re not in trouble, Bel. Yet.” He winked. “No, I just...wanted to let you know that I see you as family, Bel. See you as another son of mine.”

That...was the furthest thing from my mind. It caught me off guard and it got me choked up, especially during this emotionally tumultuous time for me.

“Aw, Billy.” I didn’t really know what to say. What _did_ one say to that kind of thing? “Thank you. That...that really means a lot to me. You’re family to me, too, definitely.”

“I’m glad to hear it. It’s good to have you around again.”

With how meaningfully Billy was looking at me, I could tell we weren’t just talking about this weekend visit. As I wasn’t ready to have _that_ sort of talk with him, I just nodded with a small smile.

“It’s nice to be back home,” I said warmly. He reached over to take one of my hands in his, giving me a smile that was perhaps sunnier than Jake’s.

In his smile, I saw the man from my childhood, the one who patiently put up with all of my little tantrums and my crocodile tears. And in that moment, I really did feel at home. Truly, completely at home. Not just with Jake, but with Billy, too.

_Home…_

— • —

Home. That word had been quite a mystery to me since before I got back to Forks. How could it not be, with being the new kid in a town where he wasn’t exactly new?

When Jake drove me back to my neck of the woods, I really sat on that word when I was back up in my room. Charlie was called into work according to a note he left, so I was able to ruminate on my thoughts in peace and quiet.

In all honesty, home as a concept hadn’t meant much to me up until I was back in Forks. And I was kind of stumped by that fact.

_Very_ stumped by it, actually.

What did that say about my life with my mom? I had a home back in Phoenix, had a whole life there. And yet...something just didn’t click.

I had my friends, sure. But we didn’t really see much of each other outside of school, and I lived farther from the rest of them. So getting to hang out wasn’t the easiest thing, even with public transportation.

I also didn’t really get close to the few kids in my neighborhood. I had something of a solitary childhood in Phoenix, I guess. _Kinda sad, now that I think about it._

But here in Forks, I was thriving!

Not counting the one family that definitely rocked the boat of my life, I had a steady circle of chums that I saw plenty of, both in and out of school. I even had friends from a different school entirely, where I had my own little world with Jake, Embry, and Quil.

I had two social circles!! That was probably less cool than it actually was, but I didn’t care.

To go hand in hand with my friends, I had my dad back. I still tripped over the fact that I missed him more than I thought I did while in Phoenix. What was that saying?

Distance makes the heart grow fonder?

It felt applicable to Charlie, now that I was living with him. And it was hard to imagine living elsewhere. Or at least, living elsewhere so soon after being back in his house, in his home.

_Our_ home. And it’s only been our home for a year, come next week!

“A year,” I said aloud into the quiet. “Holy hell. It’s nearly been a year…?”

So much can happen in a year. So much _has_ happened in a year. Where did the time all go…?

The phone ringing interrupted my thoughts. I zipped down to the living room, snatched the phone from its cradle, and flung myself on the couch before I answered it.

“Hello?” No one said anything. “Hello? Um. Wrong number?” They hung up.

“Weird…” I slowly reached over to set the phone on the coffee table, and my arm flopped down to the floor. The call was already out of my mind, and back in the spotlight was how this last year had gone down.

Moved back to town. Awkwardly continued my junior year. Made some friends. Reunited with Jake. Met a cute boy. Got to know him. Learned he and his family were literal vampires. Befriended some of his family. Started dating said cute vampire boy.

Met random vampires. Got marked by one of them. Hunted. Went to Phoenix to try and save my mom. Greatly endangered my life. Got _bitten_ by a vampire...and survived it. Realized most of my friends are queer.

Learned that magic was _real._

Turned seventeen. Actually went to _prom_. Threw a wicked cool Halloween party...in a _mansion_. Got a papercut in said mansion, full of vampires. Almost became a vampire’s dinner, again. Had...had my heart broken…

I shot up from the couch and onto my feet. “Nope! Not doing this. Nope, nope, nope.”

And I just stood there, trying to think of how to occupy my mind. I was already caught up with my homework while at Jake’s, so that was a bust. Didn’t feel like picking up my video games. Didn’t want to transcribe my notebooks to my computer.

“Oh. Oh, shit!”

I happily bolted upstairs to my room to throw on a jacket and gather some things into my pockets, then ran back downstairs. I ducked out the kitchen door into the backyard, and walked to the relative cover of the trees at the edge of the yard.

One positive to my house, and almost every house on my street? We had direct access to the surrounding forest. Made for some neat fairytale settings to explore.

Which is what I did!

I ventured a little further through the woods to find my favorite fallen tree. I brushed it off to be a bit cleaner, and sat on it. I really liked that spot, since it had the natural cover of thickly lined branches overhead. During the rain, little water managed to breach this outdoor nook.

From a jacket pocket, I produced a jar about as big as my hand, maybe a little smaller. I painted it black with the idea to use it to collect something in it, but I didn’t know what to collect yet.

So, for now, it housed the few joints that Jess had given me.

As I re-lit the one I previously started, I thought about and internally thanked Jess. She had been dancing with the devil and his lettuce for a little while, which I thought was pretty cool of her. The girl had an apparent gift for rolling joints.

I didn’t really know what that gift meant, exactly, as I didn’t smoke too often on my own or know much about smoking in detail.

As the smoke filled my lungs, I pretended that I understood what it meant to be a good roller.

I also pretended that I wasn’t falling back into the pit of hurt that my friends managed to pull me out of. But that’s neither here nor there.

That’s what I tried to tell myself, at least.

— • —

In retrospect, it probably wasn’t the wisest time to get high when I did. Charlie had gotten home an hour or so after I went back inside, and I was still fairly loopy.

I had wanted to talk to my dad about...the month after the break up. And I still intended to. It would have been a little easier if I was sober, is all.

Then again, an unsober tongue is often truthful. I hoped it would be to my benefit. Well, primarily, I wanted to appear sober to Charlie more than anything. Thankfully, that much happened for me.

Still, when is talking to your parental figure while you were unsober ever such an easy thing??

Charlie was up in his room by the time I mustered the courage to go talk to him. I tiptoed out of my room and knocked on his door. “Dad? Are you...awake?”

“Yeah, Bels! It’s open!” I cracked the door open enough to peek my head in. “Hey, kiddo. What’s up?”

“Uh, got a moment to talk?” The weed kept my voice steady and even. At least, that's how I thought I sounded.

“Yeah, sure, bud!” He closed the book he was reading, set it aside, and scooted on over to sit on the edge of the bed. Dad patted the space beside him, and I went over to join him on the bed.

“What were you reading, old man?”

He flicked my forehead. “ _The Taking_ by Dean Koontz, that book you told me about a while ago.”

Oh. I...I didn’t think he would remember that. I think I gushed about it in an email a little before I came to Forks. _How sweet._

“How do you like it so far?”

Charlie nodded. “It’s pretty good! I only just started reading it, but I’m already wigging out for what’s happening.” He smiled at me. “But we can talk books later. What’s up, Bels?”

“Ah. Right.” My fingers were already fiddling together between my knees. I laughed nervously. “Um. I guess. This, um, last month…is what I wanted to talk about.”

Charlie tensed up beside me, but then I felt it as he relaxed with a big woosh of an exhale.

“Oh! Right. If you’re, uh, sure, Bels. I will gladly hear you out, son.”

I groaned, already dreading this. “Daaad, don’t use the voice, c’mon…”

“The voice” was the sugary sweet tone Charlie would often have whenever he wanted to show he was taking a conversation seriously. It was also the tone he used on me when I was a kid and had hurt myself to the point of tears.

He laughed lightly. “Sorry, sorry. Serious moment, old habits. Okay. Shoot.”

After a stretch of silence and gathering my thoughts, I said, “Well. Obviously, I've…”

I couldn't say anymore. Not for the moment at least. It felt like my lungs had sprung up into my throat to prevent any more words from being spoken.

Holy shit.

_Am I really about to do this?_

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So after a while of fairly spaced out updates, I'm a little happy that I was able to crank this out so quickly without overtaxing myself or anything like that. I just...was happy to write. Really needed that right now, ya know?
> 
> I become more and more grateful for this story as time goes on. It's something I've just been able to latch onto with all of my being. It's a nice feeling, writing for myself first and foremost.
> 
> Anyways. I hope you liked this chapter.


	21. Sensitive Subjects

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Chapter 20
> 
> Charlie talks to Bel about the divorce and losing his parents for the first time. Bel also faces some trouble with Jake...

Yes. It seemed that I really _was_ about to do this. Wow, I did _not_ want to be high for this. Fuck.

I spent two looooong minutes in silence trying to figure out the wording that would convey what I wanted to say. A portion of that two minutes was dedicated to not crying, so it was understandable as to why my brain felt extra strained.

All my effort of concentration left me with a long sigh.

“Hold on, Dad, I’m sorry. There’s a lot of words in my head right now, and I just wanna get them right in there before I say them. Just...give me a second, please.”

“Of course I will, Bels. Take your time, kiddo.”

Charlie rubbed my shoulder in comfort before taking back his hand. I nodded my thanks, and let my mind focus on the words.

Another minute went by. Surely, my head would start smoking in all the extra effort I was putting into just thinking.

I rubbed my face, though it was just a method to not have to see or think about Charlie’s worried, sympathetic, and patient expression. Not if I wanted to keep my eyes dry, that is. _Yes, please!_

“Dad,” I began, taking one more pause for thought. Then, “Okay. Can I ask you a pretty personal question, Dad…?”

My hand remained over my eyes, which were clenched shut behind them.

“Of course, Bels. Shoot.”

“Okay. Okay. So… Hell. Screw it. Dad, how did you handle it when Mom left you?”

Tick.

Tick.

Tick.

Each tick of the metronome Charlie had on his nightstand was a crash of thunder in the quiet abyss that had opened and expanded between us. The millisecond that those words were out of my mouth, I knew they were a mistake.

I fucked up, and that’s all I was able to think of.

_You fucked up, Bel._

_Yeah, you brought up Mom._

_You know how he gets, Bel._

_Wny would you do that?_

_You knew that would hurt him._

_Yeah, now he’s probably upset at us._

_You really did it now._

_What are you, stupid?_

— • —

“Ooooh, boy. Asking about that now, huh? Damn. Well, Bels, I didn’t take it well, that’s for damn sure. I was a wreck. A true, blue wreck.”

I hadn’t anticipated that Charlie would be open to talk about this. Never in my wildest dreams did I ever even _think_ about asking him. I had no idea how he would have reacted.

But there he was, opening up.

“It was a complicated time for me, Bels, you know that much. My parents were up there in age, and they were clearly starting to slow down a bit.”

I nodded. While I never met my paternal grandparents, I knew their stories quite well.

“Cut to some time after you were born, and your mom wanted to leave and take you with her. It pained me like you wouldn’t believe, Bels, watching her take a bag and you to the taxi out of my life. But I had to watch after my parents, I couldn’t just leave them…”

There were few times where I had ever seen Dad cry. Usually, it was in happiness for something. But everytime he spoke about his parents, Dad would become so vulnerable.

Losing his parents destroyed Charlie.

In the four years after watching his ex-wife take their months old baby boy off to California, Charlie threw himself into work. Four years of not really dealing with losing his wife and child, plus losing his parents?

I had never known so many details about Dad’s side of the story. And all that I learned casually horrified me, but I couldn’t unpack all of that just yet. _Right now is about my Dad._

Charlie cried silently, then.

The tears freely fell down his face. He had an uncanny ability to keep his voice level whenever he cried, though his shoulders shook a little every now and then.

He continued his tale.

“I...I'd like to think I was fairly able to get over my parents dying. Still took me a while, and I still have my bad days even now, but I think I've finally accepted that.” He wiped his eyes the back of his hands.

“Everybody dies, Bels, you know that. Losing my parents took a part of me with each of them. But I moved on. Losing your mom hurt differently. it hurt longer. My parents didn't _choose_ to leave me, they didn't have to make that choice. R-Renée, though.”

He said her name so delicately, and without him saying any more, I knew.

“She chose to leave you,” I whispered into the quiet, save for the metronome.

Tick.

Tick.

Tick.

“Not only that,” Charlie said, and his voice broke a little then. “B-But she fought to take _you_ with her. My child. _Our_ child, our son. _My_ son. She took you, too, Bels. That was… I-I couldn't handle that.”

He slowly shook his head, and covered his eyes with a hand as I did minutes ago. Tears continued to fall.

I snaked an arm around his back, leaned against his shoulder. “I'm here now, at least,” I whispered. I didn’t say anything else. I just...let my dad cry. It hurt to see him in so much pain, but I knew that was letting some of it go.

Eventually, Charlie wiped his eyes with a hand and wrapped his other arm around my shoulders, pulling me closer to him. “That you are, kiddo, and I am so happy for it. I love you, Bels.”

“I love you, too, Dad. But go on, please.”

He nodded, and reached for the tissue box on the nightstand. He mopped up his face and blew his nose. Charlie bundled up the paper in his hand, and tossed them into the nearby bin, I patted his back while he cleared his throat.

“I’m ashamed to admit, but, in a way, I haven't really been able to move on from the hurt of your mom leaving. I understood and accepted the fact that she didn't feel supported or as loved when she was pregnant. But...she wasn't really able to accept that I cared for my parents, either.”

_Oh, shit. Did I hear that right…?_

“That hurt the most, now that I think about it. I didn't know how long my parents had left, and she felt like I was choosing them over the family that she and I created. That I _wasn't_ choosing you and her, when that was far from the truth.”

I didn't doubt Charlie at all, not one bit.

What was most sad was just...how that seemed to track, for Renée. It seemed very in character for her, the more I thought about it.

Dad and Mom knew that they both married too fast, too young, and without properly knowing each other. _After_ the fact, they knew. Neither of them thought much of it in the moment, caught up in young love as they were.

“Mom...always told me that she didn't want to put down any more roots in Forks, whenever I asked,” I said slowly, quietly. “But that’s really all she ever told me. And I never thought to ask her more.”

Charlie seemed aged by the conversation. “She wasn't kidding about that. And she was truthful, in a way.” He frowned. “Now, I don't want you to think I'm speaking ill of your mother, Bel.”

Uh oh. He called me Bel.

That was another way to let me know that he’s being serious, when he’d drop my usual nickname.

“I'm not.” Because I would do it for him, at this point. “That's...wow, Dad. I...can't really believe it. _That’s_ all that you went through…?”

For some reason, Charlie chuckled. “It's not like I was able to tell you this when you were a kid. I wasn't going to put that kind of burden on a kid’s shoulders.”

— • —

He paused to give me a pointed look, then gently asked, “Is that anything like what you went through, son…? After…”

I fell silent, but nodded.

Dad was given a condensed version of what I told Jake, in how I was ignored at school, how I felt invisible to them, and how I didn’t know how to really deal with the break up.

Charlie didn't like that much, either, my being ignored.

“I guess I expected as much from him, but his _sister_?” Charlie frowned. “That's not nice. I thought she was such a good friend to you, too.”

I didn't have anything to say to that. I also thought as much. _Guess we're both disappointed, Dad._

“How did you cope, Dad?” I breathed. “Does this...numbness go away…?”

He sighed, bumping his head against mine.

“I’m not gonna lie to you, kiddo. I didn’t really cope afterwards. I was too focused on my parents. But after they had both passed, I married myself to the fire department. How else do you think your old man got into the position he’s in?”

Charlie gave a little laugh, as he was obviously trying to lighten the mood. It worked, and I cracked a smile. “Diligence? Hard work, maybe?”

“Well, yeah.” His smile faded a little. “It was rough. I didn’t realize how much the divorce really affected me for a long time. And it didn’t just affect me, either.”

I looked at him. “How so?”

Dad went on to say that Mom was well-liked by many of his friends and coworkers.

Billy, Harry, and Quil IV loved her, too, and saw her as a sister; they were sad that they lost her, too. Charlie’s best friends saw the spiral that my dad went through, and didn’t really know how to help him.

“I didn’t hold it against them,” Charlie said. “How could I? They all had strong, thriving marriages and couldn’t really relate. They just saw their friend in pain and felt useless, so they sort of just backed off of me.”

While hearing this definitely made my heart ache, I was more stunned by how...blasé my dad was as he said that. I wasn’t sure if his lack of reaction was good or bad.

“Like I said, I understood their thoughts. I was glad they didn’t try something. I...realized that I like to cope alone before opening up to others. And after my solo coping was done, I went right into their awaiting arms and homes again.”

“Wow, Dad. That’s...that’s really great to know,” I said warmly, feeling so touched by the sentiment.

“Yeah,” he said fondly, a little smile on his face as he seemed to be lost in memory. “Well. Anyways, Bels, I hope you were able to make some sense about what I was trying to say.”

That made me grin. “Yeah, Dad. I was able to translate DadSpeak.”

He leaned over to kiss my head, chuckling. “Little shit. How else are ya feeling, kiddo?”

“Well, a little better,” I admitted after some thought. “Hearing what you had to say reminded me that I’m not alone in all of this. I have my friends. Even if I haven’t been the best of friends lately, I still have them in my corner. And I’m really lucky that I do.”

“Yeah, you sure do have an amazing group. Hold tight onto them, son, mmkay?”

“I will, no worries about that.”

“I’m glad. And Bels?” I looked at him. “Thank you for trusting me with all of this. I appreciate it.”

“Thanks for hearing me out,” I offered back with a smile. “And I _definitely_ feel more better now that you know, Dad. I didn’t really realize how hard this was to keep to myself and from you. But this was one hell of a night. Think I’m gonna retreat to my room. Right now.”

He laughed, patting my shoulder a few times before letting me go. “Sure thing, Bels. I’m really glad we had this talk.”

“Me, too, Dad. Really, it was...just really nice.”

“Sure was, kiddo.” He gave me a crinkly-eyed smile. “Can your old man give his son a proper hug?”

“Don’t even have to ask, Dad,” I said, at once standing up with my arms held open.

— • —

With telling Charlie about the break-up finally out of my system, as well as with Jake back in my life and corner once again, I felt myself...gradually walk out of the ocean of depression.

Speaking of, the ocean of depression was easily the dark grey Pacific waves that fell upon First Beach. Which is coincidentally where Jake and I had often spent a lot of time roaming together

We’d go on walks and talk the entire time, stopping for some random thing every now and then. For laughter, especially, as we were always laughing.

Jake would eventually take off his socks and shoes, roll up his pants, and walk around in the water. But he danced right along where the water barely crept up the sand, yet far enough in to get waves up to his ankles.

I, on the other hand, skittered away from the water, shoes on, when it got too close for my comfort. I did my best to walk on the more solid portions of wet and the dry sand.

Jake continued on, laughing at me or shaking my head. “Just take off your shoes and join me, Bels,” he called out once as I ran away again.

“No! What part of me not wanting my feet to be popsicles don’t you get?”

“The part that thinks you’re a chicken for not wanting to get a little wet!”

“Yeah, but not on a Washington beach, buddy!” He just laughed.

Other times, we’d bring a tent, a backpack full of snacks, and various fast foods to camp out on the beach for a few hours. Usually, I’d be writing in my journals or playing my DS. Whenever I wrote, I’d let him play my DS and whatever other GBA games that I had.

No matter what it was that we did, I always had a great time with Jake. We had gotten so close as friends, that even silence and doing nothing were comfortable. We could be in his room or my room, doing different kinds of whatever. But together!

Naturally, we annoyed each other to death. No matter where we were or what we did, that was a guaranteed aspect to our relationship.

It was great. And it wasn’t always just the two of us.

Quil and Embry often came as a set, but also there were times where just one of them joined us. There were also a few hangouts of just me and Embry, or just me and Quil. Days with either of them were entertaining, and I was never bored.

I favored hanging out with Embry more, even though I probably wouldn’t admit that out loud.

Quil was just way more physically active than I ever wanted to be when we were together. He often wanted to go hiking lengthy, winding hikes that I wasn’t willing to trek. Or, more simply, go for actual _runs_ in the early morning on the _beach_.

That boy didn’t really get my dislike for physical activity.

Embry was more like me, the homebody kind of dude that played his video games (he had a GameCube) or trying to learn any instrument (his recent try was for the guitar). Embry tried to teach me a simple thing, and I didn’t do too great.

Jake was glad that I found them to be good friends of mine, as was I.

For the next month, things were fine. Charlie was happy to see my overall mental state improve as time wore on.

There seemed to be a return to normalcy in our home that we both had hoped for, and I got it in spades. I managed to pull some miracles in school where I raised some grades. That made Dad happy, at least. My friendships with Angie, Jess, and Eric returned to a nice wavelength, too.

Slowly, things were looking on the rise again. And it got ruined.

Okay, maybe not “ruined,” as that reminded me of how I was before my school crowd intervened on my depression. I was just extremely frazzled and anxious, which wasn’t any better.

Why? Embry had started to ignore us in the first week of February.

Jake and Quil had definitely noticed a change in his behavior at school prior to that, even with them. Neither of them saw Embry in around school, at lunch or after school, either. Their school nurse said that his mom physically went in to excuse him with a doctor’s note.

“But if he was so sick, why would his mom not know where he is?” I exclaimed.

“That’s why we’re worried,” Jake supplied quietly. I knew that he was upset, as Jake would never shut up normally. I missed his non-stop chatter.

From what Quil had said, she had changed her home phone number the next day, and had forbidden anyone from coming to see him while he recovered, saying that he needed full isolation from others.

We all grew more worried as each day that passed.

As if things weren’t already awful, Jake had also been excused from school. Things went down nearly identically as they had with Embry.

I didn’t know what to think. _Quil_ didn’t know what to think.

Naturally, we brought it up with Billy, but he didn’t really say much. He didn’t even let us inside his house! From behind his screen door, Billy told us that it was highly contagious, and that Jake was quarantined in his room.

Quil was at a loss, feeling like he was being ignored by his best friends.

I smelt even more bullshit all around the situation, but I had no proof.

The cherry on top was that I was starting to feel like I was broken up with again, though this time with my best friend. I didn’t like that thought.

Not one bit.

— • —

Valentine’s Day. The day I decided to do something stupid since I didn’t know how to deal with losing Embry _and_ Jacob.

I skipped school. Technically.

What I had done was tell Charlie the night before that I wasn’t going to show up to my classes on the fourteenth. All I told him was that I was feeling pretty fragile, and that I just wanted to avoid the extra sympathy from my friends.

Charlie understood, and let me ditch. He called the school to excuse me for the day.

I lied to him. At least about going to Port Angeles.

Grandpa Chev did get some real mileage that early morning on the drive down the highway. I was so glad that I had written down the directions to my actual destination at some point prior. Made the journey easier this time, as I was by myself and anxious.

After singing to every song I recognized on my ancient radio for who knew how long, I eventually arrived. I pulled Chev over to my usual spot and killed the engine.

That was when I took a deep breath, held it, and slowly let it out. I repeated the process until my heart wasn't a jackhammer in my chest. I got the map from the glove compartment and unfolded it, and pulled the compass from my pocket.

For a good fifteen minutes, I made sure that my previously drawn out route was freshly on my mind, and quietly repeated the distances to myself.

Wanting to stall no longer, I picked up my messenger bag, slung it over my chest, and stepped out of the truck. I checked my bag once again to make sure that I had my water bottles, snacks, and flashlight.

“Five miles, Bel,” I said to myself as I started hiking. “You've done this before, dude. You can do it again. Haven't needed your inhaler yet. Positives, positives.”

Five miles was a long journey on my own, in the relative quiet of the forest’s morning. I found myself quietly talking out loud more than I usually did, to myself and mental audiences. I considered bringing a Walkman with headphones, but thought against it.

With plenty of breaks for rest, water, and nourishment, as well as many stops to consult my map as I remembered, I felt closer and closer to my goal.

The meadow.

Since the break-up, I hadn't once considered returning there. I initially had no desire to go back, none at all. But losing Jake after so quickly getting him back sucked, and it made me think rather emo thoughts.

“I must be a masochist,” I muttered to myself repeatedly across the trek. “Why else would I be doing this?”

Honestly, the million dollar question and answer.

For whatever reason (of which I knew and chose to ignore), with minimal falling and tripping, and stubborn persistence, I found it.

It began with the branches overhead becoming thicker and thicker. The next sign was a particularly wide tree stump that was at least as tall as I was. Finally, that familiar clearing was just ahead, albeit from a different angle that I had previously traveled.

“I found it,” I said while breathing a little heavily. I took a huge swig of water, and let myself catch my breath.

— • —

  
  


I was disappointed.

After all that hiking and effort, the meadow didn't give me whatever the hell I was looking for. No closure, no relief, no solace. No hallucination of my ex-boyfriend that acted as a clever, visual representation of my conscience.

Just disappointment and sadness. And it was overgrown.

The once picturesque, storybook sight of wildflowers and tall grass was now a smaller and shorter version of a cornfield, or a wheatfield. Any magic it had no longer thrived in the green overabundance.

I stood in the middle of the meadow, on a relatively flat patch of low-rising grass. I felt so dejected, and there wasn’t enough ambiance of wildlife. There was little noise around me, and it was unsettling. The clouds overhead seemed extra grey, though there was no smell of rain in the air.

_Lucky me._

I sat down in the dry grass, relieved to be off my feet, sad to be so uncomfortable physically _and_ emotionally. I chugged a water bottle to completion, and finished an apple. I felt like crap. In the distance, a twig snapped. My head whipped in the direction of the noise, and found only stillness. I quickly slapped on my glasses, scanning the area thoroughly.

Nothing was there. Nothing moved. I kept my glasses on, and resumed eating my snack.

For about twenty minutes, I merely sat there and refueled. I was gonna give myself ten more minutes of rest before making the hike back down. I made sure to entirely pack my bag in preparation for my leave.

_This might've been a waste of time._

That was the literal last thought I wanted to have, but there it was. No chance to avoid it just staring me in the face. I looked around in front of me, secretly hoping to catch a flash of refracted light before it disappeared entirely.

My hopes would have been raised, and―

“Fancy to see you here, stranger!”

If I wasn't already munching on a muffin, I would've screamed at the voice that came out of nowhere. I chewed furiously, swallowed, and took a big gulp of water.

Behind me, a figure stood off a good distance away. He had to raise his voice a little for me to hear.

I couldn't believe my eyes. I called out, “Laurent? Is that...you?”

One second he was off in the distance, the next he was standing six feet from me. I clumsily wrapped my muffin in a napkin and tossed it in my bag before standing up to face him.

“Yes, it is. Good memory, Bel.” He smiled amicably at me. His dark-gold eyes seemed to shine.

As when I first saw him, he wore a sturdy jacket with no shirt beneath. I realized that it was _definitely_ meant to play up his beauty. In some way, it was as if it was my first time meeting him.

It may as well have been, considering his eyes were different.

_Holy shit. He stuck to a veggie diet…!!_

“Y-You remembered my name?” _Of course he did. Silly Bel._

“Of course.” Laurent chuckled. “I hope you have been well since I saw you last.”

_Wow, how could I forget his accent?_ And _his voice…?_

“W-Well as could be, I suppose. And how about you? What are you doing here, if I may know?”

Laurent didn't move at all, he stood perfectly still. Only his eyes followed me.

“Interestingly enough, I was merely returning to Denali,” he said. “On the way back, I decided to visit the Cullens. I...was surprised that you weren't with them, if I may be honest.”

There it was. This moment of awkwardness. For me, at least.

“Yes, well…” I didn’t know what to say, and fell silent. Laurent frowned.

“Forgive me, Bel, but...I feel I should tell you something. Something that I...did my best to keep from the Cullens and their particular gifts.”

I tried my best to not think of their names, though I was sure who he was referring to. The worry helped take care of that.

“T-Tell me something?” I said quietly, anxiety and maybe a dose of fear settling into my stomach.

Laurent took a few steps closer while still staying a healthy distance away. “Yes. I'm afraid it isn't good news. In fact, I am increasingly worried for you while you are...no longer as familiar with the Cullens.”

“Lau-Laurent, what's going on? _Is_ something going on?”

His frown deepened. “You are in danger, Bel Swan.”

“Danger? What? Wh-Why am I in danger?” My anxiety soared.

“It is Victoria, I am afraid.” There was a sadness in his eyes, and he seemed quite reluctant to speak. But hearing that name after so long sent a spike of true fear down my spine.

— • —

_Victoria._ She was the vampire with hair like fire. Victoria was formerly James’s mate, the vampire that almost killed me back in Phoenix.

I hadn't thought about those names in months, intentionally so, and then they were back...

“What about her?” I whispered.

Laurent sighed deeply, resting his hands on his hips. He shook his head, clicked his tongue.

“She wants revenge, Bel. Revenge for her fallen mate. And…and as she still believes that you belong to the young Cullen, she wants _you._ An eye for an eye, she has said.”

A memory of thought that I had since thrown away months ago echoed across the chambers of mind.

_I could only imagine what either James or Victoria would feel towards the Cullens (and me) if either one were to die at the hands of my vampires._

I felt the color drain from my face. “Vi-Victoria wants me dead.”

Laurent looked truly uncomfortable at having to break the news to me. “I’m afraid so, dear Bel.”

For the portions of me that weren’t suddenly paralyzed by fear, there was a miniscule one that wondered what my chances of survival were on my own.

Or at least, without some benevolent vampire on my side.

“Bel?”

My sight re-focused on Laurent before me, and I saw that his expression seemed...well, worried. It took an extra beat for me to see that he was trying to talk to me.

“I-I, uh. What…?”

Could it be seen as a negative that I wasn’t exactly in a cognitive state of mind due to the fact that I was just told that I was now Victoria’s vampiric vendetta?

_I_ didn’t think so.

“Bel,” Laurent said gently, slowly. “I am sorry for delivering this news to you. I am glad that you now know. Please, take care of yourself, Bel. You seem like one of the decent humans out there. But this is not my fight, nor one in which I will win, I am afraid. I hope you may forgive me.”

_Well. At least Laurent is honest, I guess?_

Yes, I knew that, somewhere inside me, I should have been upset and insulted, and begged Laurent to save my life. Especially if he really was staying with the Denali as a vegetarian.

Ya know, preservers of human life or whatever.

But what was I to Laurent, besides the human, teenage _ex_ -boyfriend to a teenage vampire he didn’t know at all?

There was also a very real chance that he was protecting himself from the Volturi. They were an ominous and lingering threat to most vampires, as I saw it. I imagined nomadic vampires like Laurent wanted to remain off their radar as much as possible.

What was I going to do, hold it against him?

“Thank you for telling me, Laurent. I-I appreciate it, more than you know.”

He nodded. “And...if I may presume something?”

“O-Of course.”

“It seems that you are no longer mates with the young vampire.” I barely nodded. “Then I presume it would be best that I not tell the Denali coven of my encounter with you when I return. I imagine that the cousins to the Cullens might be in contact, were I to share this little anecdote with them, hmm?”

_Oh shit._

“I...I didn’t even think of that, honestly. Wow. That is awfully considerate of you, Laurent. Thank you, truly.”

“Then with that, I will take my―”

Laurent cut himself off and went absolutely still.

His eyes widened and swiveled to his right, intensely focused on something that was beyond my sight. Head turned, I saw his profile, and even just the side of his face looked _alarmed_.

Which just raised anxious curiosity. Whatever the living hell could _possibly_ alarm a _vampire_?!

At the edge of the meadow, I faintly heard something move from within the safety of silhouetted trees. I felt my heart race for the first time since reuniting with a vampire.

And a low, rumbling growl came slithering out through the trees.

“I don’t believe it,” Laurent murmured audibly enough for me to hear, and most likely to whatever just _growled_ at us. “Bel...get ready to run. I will distract them. Please, when I say...”

I wasn’t sure if I even breathed. After this warning, something walked into the meadow.

— • —

Wolves. Five giant _wolves_ slowly padded out into view. I knew wolves were deceptively bigger than they were on TV or in a movie, but these ones seemed to push past normal sizes.

Five pairs of dark, sharp eyes were locked onto Laurent, and they slowly approached us.

Laurent took a step back, and the biggest wolf, one with pitch black fur, snarled in response. Staring down the line of large canines, I could not believe my eyes. Five wild wolves, just―

“Bel, now!!” Laurent yelled, and I didn't think twice. I snatched my bag from the grass, slung it over a shoulder, and just _bolted._

As I ran back the way I came, I heard the heavy steps of the wolves as they presumably charged at Laurent. I mentally thanked him for his help as I ran for my life.

I didn't know for how long I ran, and, although I eventually slowed down, I refused to stop. I kept going, kept trekking on. Of course, it would be the one time hiking this path that I would have the least amount of trips, slips, or falls.

_Miracles do happen._

By the time I had made it all the long way back to my truck, it was surprisingly bright overhead. I was a sweaty, wheezing mess. I had to spend a good twenty minutes just sitting in my truck, door locked, trying to get enough oxygen into my lungs to be able to puff my inhaler.

Later, much later after I was home, Charlie gave me a lecture.

Recently, Charlie had told me about reports from the police department. There had been a small number of wild animal attacks on hikers out in the woods. Aware that I was one for hiking on occasion, Charlie had insisted that I avoid hikes for a little while.

Lost in depression, that wasn’t a big deal, as I didn't do much.

On this side of the fog, however, I had certainly put myself in danger without knowing it. Though it was partially my fault for going hiking at all. But now I was certain that the animal attacks were very real.

_I hope that Laurent didn’t hurt those wolves in distracting them…_

“And you’re _sure_ they’re wolves, Bels?”

I nodded sharply. “Definitely, Dad. The cops had it wrong, they aren’t bear attacks at all. No way in hell.”

It sucked to lie to Charlie, and he was upset about that, too. But with Laurent involved, I had to give him even more lies. I gave him a different general location, so as to preserve any actual run-ins with the wolves and Laurent.

But also, I wanted to protect the meadow.

Memories still resided there. I wanted them preserved by the overgrowth, not trampled under a flock of boots.

Even though Dad was upset with my carelessness, he still was eager to report this to the police department. Charlie had me repeat my answers to his questions, he jotted down the info, and checked for accuracy one last time before calling up the sheriff.

My role having been completed, I went upstairs for a change of clothes and to shower. Back in my room, I made sure that my window was closed and that the curtains were drawn.

I slowly paced around as I brushed out my damp hair. It would take hours for all of my hair to dry since I took a late shower. I let my mind get lost in the mundane repetition of brushing, which allowed me to temporarily forget the fact that I was being hunted by a vampire.

_Again_.

It was going to be a long night.

— • —

Some annoying sound woke me up. I didn’t even remember laying down for the night, let alone falling asleep. I was extra upset as consciousness returned to me in waves.

There was that sound again!

Eyes reluctantly open, I looked toward the window. I still felt groggy, but I didn’t hear anything―

_Plink, plink!_

Seconds later, a muffled voice called out, “Beeeel! C’mon, hun! Are you awake?”

Cautiously, I got out of bed, toed on my slippers, and quietly walked over to the window. It was a safe bet that whoever wasn’t down there wasn’t Victoria.

I blindly reached for my hoodie on the back of my chair, quickly pulled it on, and zipped it up. I went to the window, pulled the curtains aside, and eased the window open. I peered outside.

“Jake?” I whisper-yelled out into the cold darkness in disbelief. " _Jacob_?! What are you _doing_ here? It’s two in the morning!!”

“It’s not even midnight yet!” Of course, he didn’t answer my question. “Bels, would you please come outside?”

“ _What_? I haven’t seen or heard of you in nearly two weeks, and t _hat’s_ the first thing you say to me??”

Even without glasses, I saw him glare up at me. “Dammit, Bels, would ya just come outside already?”

“No! It’s cold!!”

“Then let me come up!”

“And just _why_ should I? Where the hell have you _been,_ Jacob Black? You had me and Quil _worried_! And your _dad_ , what the fuck was up with―”

“Beltrán Swan, shut _up_ for _five_ minutes, and I can _explain_! Now. Let. Me. _In._ ”

I glared right back. “Or what, Spider-Man? Gonna web yourself into my house?”

“Step back from the window! I’m gonna go up!” Jake took several steps back, looking from the window to the tree that grew to slightly obscure my view.

“Like hell you are!! Just use the door like a person!”

“Where’s the fun in that?”

“Jacob Black!”

“Move it, Bels! I got this!”

Jake crouched down, and then charged at the tree.

Fearing the worst, I stepped back across the room and covered my eyes. I didn't want to see if he fell! Instead of hearing gravity taking him down to the ground, I heard the gentle thud of tennis shoes on my floor. My eyes flew open to see Jake kneeling down, dressed in just a tee and shorts.

After a relatively quiet landing, we both turned to the closed door. Charlie didn’t stir in his room, and we both sighed in relief. I went to close the window with a shudder.

I whirled on Jake, eyes narrowed in a glare. He quickly got to his feet.

“That was extremely impressive, and you’re going to explain that later. More importantly, what the hell are you doing here, Jacob?”

He didn’t say anything. Or, he wanted to. But Jake’s mouth kept opening and closing. His brow would furrow up, and he’d start to say something, but would then stop himself.

It may have been a little more than a week since I saw him last, but, somehow, Jake seemed taller. Not significantly so, but noticeably so. At least, as noticeably as I could tell. 

Jake still hadn’t said anything. I sighed, which turned into a big yawn.

“Jacob, it’s late. If you’re just going to stand there like a buffoon, can we do this later? It’s a school night, and―” I gasped. “Jacob Black, it is a _school night_ , what the _hell_ are you doing in town so late?! Does Billy know you’re even here? He is going to _kill you_ if he finds out you came to see me, Jacob, what the hell!”

Without warning, he crossed the room and lightly covered my mouth with his fingertips. I quieted at once, but politely removed his hand from my mouth. Jake’s breathing picked up, enough for me to see the rapid rise and fall of his shoulders.

He took a step back, started to pace back and forth in a small line, and spoke in hurried whispers/

“Bels, I’m sorry for disappearing on you, b-but... _something_ happened, and I can’t explain anything to―don’t give me that look, Bels, I _can’t_. At least, night right now. I’m sorry, Bels, but I can’t say anymore. Just know that I’m okay, I am, and-and, okay, I _was_ avoiding you, but now I’m not, I couldn’t do it anymore, I _had_ to see you, even if for a little bit. I―”

Jake rarely rambled. In fact, I hadn’t seen Jake look so frazzled before.

He looked feverish, his forehead was sweaty, and he had this wild look in his eyes. Maybe he really _was_ sick, after all.

For that matter, how did Jake get here? I didn’t hear his―

“Bels,” Jake said. The urgency of his voice broke me out of my thoughts. “Bels, can I...can we talk about...about secrets?”

I looked at him like he was insane. “Secrets? You came all of this way at midnight to talk about...secrets?”

Jake groaned softly.

“Bels, come on, work with me, please! This is really tough for me, and I’m trying to tell you my side. Please, Bels. Hear me out.”

I tapped my foot on the floor as I took in his request. I crossed my arms across my chest.

“Fine. Secrets, then?”

Relief flashed across his face, happy that I was playing along. Jake nodded enthusiastically.

“Yes, secrets. Have you ever, uh, had to keep a big secret before?” I nodded. “One that wasn't yours?” Another nod. “Have you ever told anyone else that big secret?”

“Of course not,” I said automatically. I didn't need to hide the identity of formerly fictional monsters to know what he was talking about. “Is that...is that what you mean?”

“Yes. This secret just...just can't be told, Bels. It's not even mine. The kind of secret I'd lie to cops about. The kind of secret I'd take to my _grave._ ”

This had me frowning. I didn't expect to be placed in this predicament of understanding.

“Okay, fine, so you can't tell me. What _can_ you tell me Jacob?” That was asked a little desperately, but I couldn't be blamed.

Jake didn't say anything.

I shook my head. Gently, I said, “Jacob, please. It's late, and I don't—”

He stepped forward, took my hands in his, and laced our fingers together. Jake gave me a really intense look.

“I need you to understand,” Jake whispered. “I...I can't _tell_ you, Bels. _I_ can't tell you. But maybe if you figured it out...i-if you just use the secrets that _you_ know.”

I felt my heart skip a beat. What could he even be referring to?

“I know that you know _those_ secrets, Bels. You do. I know you do. I _know._ And you know—you _know_ , Bels. So...you just gotta think about what _you_ know, and what _I_ know. Those secrets of someone else’s that you keep...that aren't yours to keep. Think, Bels.”

“J-Jacob, I don't unde—”

He squeezed my hands tightly, but quickly let go and stepped back.

“Th-That’s okay, Bels. It's kind of late, a-and we both have school tomorrow. It's fine. Just...please do me a favor?”

Big sigh. “I guess I can grant you a favor, Jacob.”

“Think on it, Bels. Please. It's in your brain, I know it is. We just gotta get it out. And we will. _You_ will.”

Jake moved back towards the window. I sighed.

“Jake, no, c'mon, go use the door, man.”

With a little smirk that was much like the ones I was accustomed to, Jake said, “Don't be such a square, Bels. Live a little.” A pause. “I really am sorry, hun. I'm sorry for hurting you. I'd like to make it up to you, if you'll let me.”

I didn't know what to say. I just nodded.

“Okay. Good night, Bels. Dream sweet. And...one more favor? Avoid the forests for a while.”

_First Charlie, and now Jake? What the hell?_

“Yeah, Jacob. Sure. No trees. Now can I go to sleep, please?”

Jake sighed.

“Sure, sure. Yeah, I’m sorry for just barging in on you like this, but I-I just had to see you, Bels. And I know that I haven’t explained shit to you and how I’m not able to explain shit _now_ , but...I couldn’t just keep you in the dark anymore. I missed you, Bels, I did, and this sucks! Fuck, man, I hope you still see me as your friend, and―”

Without waiting for anymore of his rambling, I went right over and brought him into the biggest hug I could manage. “Shut up for a minute, and I can explain.”

Lucky me, Jake’s only response is to just hug me in return. I felt him nod against my head.

Pulling back enough to look him in the eyes, I told him, “You weren’t the only one who avoided the other when you were going through shit. I get it, I do. I’m glad to see you and hug you again. I missed you, too. But it’s late, I’m tired, and you gave me a riddle. I’ll try and crack it, but I need sleep, dude…”

Jake was already nodding before I finished speaking. “Right, right. Sorry. I mean, I’m not, cuz I’m here, but―you get it.”

He pulled me in for one more hug, kissed my cheek, and heeded my insistence of him using the kitchen door instead of leaving through the window again.

I knocked right back out after he quietly closed my door behind him.


	22. Small World, Big Secrets

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Chapter 21
> 
> Bel finds himself feeling a little adrift as a human in a world of magic. It's bad enough that Bel got broken up with by a vampire, but he doesn't want to lose his best friend, too...

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Gonna be honest. So much shit has happened since I last updated, both in the real world and in my own world. Considering the awful bullshit of the former, I didn't feel right posting. But in all honesty, writing Bel's story has been my lifeline for the past six months. I also figure that my story is but one comfort of many for a lot of you all, the readers, in the chaos of the world right now.
> 
> So, here I am. It's taken me a long time to actually be satisfied with this chapter, and maybe even longer to find the will to post it. I hope this update is enjoyable for any who finds it, and can maybe give you a brief reprieve from the real world for a moment. Take care, y'all.

Wednesday, nothing at school was really amiss in my absence. By way of unspoken social rules, I was allowed to be a little out of step.

I didn't sleep well last night. I presumed that my teachers saw it, figured my supposed twenty-four hour bug had taken its toll on me, and decided to just let me be.

If it was true, I appreciated them all. That still didn't stop me from being so distracted in class.

My thoughts occupied all that Jake had cryptically told me last night. I still couldn't believe he snuck over to see me at all.

_Jake is such a good friend to me. Maybe too good._

Shoving that thought aside, his words ricocheted around my brain. Specifically, “secrets” was the loudest word my mind heard. It was a little annoying!

By the time my last class had ended, I didn't have a single thing figured out. I marched for my truck.

“Bel, wait up!”

I stopped and turned around, smiling a little at who skittered over to me. “Jess! What's up?”

“Uh, nothing! Well, no, not nothing. I just, um. Wanted to say hi. And stuff.”

“Jess, you’re acting weird. Why are you acting weird?” 

One of the most amusing things about Jess was her skin color. The girl was pale, except for the rare moments whenever she was embarrassed or flustered. Jess was quick to turn red, as she was at the moment.

Jess started. “I… Okay, look. You know I’m not really that great with emotional stuff, right? Right. But! Ang is helping me with that.” When she turned red that time, it was a happy embarrassment.

Talking about _her girlfriend_ tended to do that to Jess. It was so sweet.

“Anyways, Bel. I just...noticed that you seemed to be really out of it, today. I wanted to see if you wanted to talk stuff out. Or something. I-If you’re, like, comfortable with that, I mean.”

“Oh! That’s really sweet of you, Jess. Um. Wow. I figured it was obvious my mind was elsewhere, but...damn. Must’ve been worse than I thought. Well. Yeah, sure! I’d like that!”

Jess grinned. “Neat! Okay. Did you wanna talk over some lunch? I can pick you up after I go home and stuff.”

I gasped as an idea struck me. “Arches?”

She nodded, and solemnly said, “Arches.”

— • —

It was no secret whatsoever that I loved fast food.

For as long as I’ve been friends with Jess, she made it a habit to drive to Port Angeles with me. We had one goal in mind, during those moments:

McDonald’s.

It was my favorite fast food chain, no matter the actual quality of the food! I grew up eating it, and McDonald’s were practically everywhere. It was also _Jess’s_ favorite fast food joint.

Need I say more?

After going home and leaving a message for Charlie at work, I waited for Jess to come pick me up. Then, we were on the road singing along to whatever CD Jess had me choose. When I played DJ, we listened to a lot of Britney, Spice Girls, and the Panic! At the Disco CD that came out last year.

_A Fever You Can’t Sweat Out_ wasn’t my cup of tea when it came to music, but Jess had lovingly expanded my musical repertoire enough to include it.

Once we were in the city, we found a good parking space, and went inside the restaurant. We briefly debated about eating inside or getting it to go. I suggested that we order to go, pointing outside.

Jess looked out of a window to see that it had started to rain. “Shit. I forgot my umbrella at home, and all I have is my coat. Let’s get it to go and eat in my car before the rain gets any worse.”

I nodded, then quickly ushered her into the line, as someone else had just stepped into the restaurant. We ordered, Jess paid for our food, and I offered her some gas money at the very least. She scoffed and refused as we stepped out of line to wait.

“When I offer to wine and dine you, don’t you dare give me a dime,” Jess warned. “I have us both covered. Relax.”

“Jess, you always buy the food!”

“Because I always have us covered!”

“Let me at least pay for the damn gas! Stop being so stubborn!”

“No!” She and I argued and giggled even after we got the food. Our hoods were drawn up, I stashed the bags under my hoodie, Jess held both drinks, and we scurried out to her car.

I ran ahead to hop into the passenger side, threw her door open for her, and took the drinks as she got in. We were a well-oiled machine that had this rainy routine committed to memory.

Jess lowered her hood with a sharp exhale. “I really need to buy a second umbrella just for my car.”

“Might be a good idea. But!” I unzipped my hoodie and pulled out the dry bags. “At least the food is safe and still warm. And my jacket now smells like McDonald’s. Mmm, smell that? I’m lovin’ it.”

“Dork.” I checked each bag to see our orders mixed between the two bags, and sought to correct that.

With our orders in separate bags and in our grubby hands, we gave each other extremely goofy looks before feasting. I downed a few nuggets, Jess took a big bite of her Big Mac, and we giggled over our zealous hunger.

After catching her breath, she said, “Okay, Bel. Fess up. As you always say, just band-aid this bitch.”

“Give me a sec.” I took a swig of Coke and knocked back some more nuggets, thinking hard. With so much intel to sort through, it was marginally challenging to talk to her about it.

I had to determine how much I was allowed to tell her before speaking. More importantly, I didn’t even know how to word any of it. _Most_ importantly, I picked up one of my cheeseburgers, loaded it with fries, and took a big bite.

Then, and only then, did I start telling her about portions of last night.

Jess was well aware that something in my friendship with Jake had been off for the last two weeks. At the very least, I told her that Jake had recovered from his nasty illness, but he still didn’t want to see me.

I made up some reasoning about how Jake thought that he had made me mad about something and was giving me space.

Even as I said it, I heard how unsure my voice was. It seemed to be enough for Jess to latch onto, though.

“Did he feel guilty about something?” She shoveled fries into her mouth while giving me intense eye contact. I almost laughed at the sight.

“I don't know. But he _did_ sneak over to my house last night at like midnight or something.”

Jess gasped. “What? Wouldn't his dad kill him?”

“That's what I said!!”

I gave her an edited version of what happened, telling her that he just couldn't take the idea of being apart any longer. Jess listened to every word, reacted in all the right places, and brainstormed ideas about his behavior with me.

Right away, Jess said, “He's in love with you!!”

I made a face. “Ew! Jess, no, he's like a brother to me. That'd be weird, no, he's just my best friend.”

“Oh, please. Like a best friend can’t have feelings for another friend?”

I raised an eyebrow at her while I finished my last nugget. “What, like you and Angie?”

Jess blushed. “That's not the same, we aren't talking about me!”

“Sure, Jess.” I rolled my eyes for good measure.

“ _Anyways._ You can't rule it out, Bel. From the way you talk about him, it sounds like you're dating him anyways.”

That made me gasp, loudly. “Excuse me?!”

“You heard me,” she said sassily, even with a mouth full of burger. “Really, Bel. You _do_ talk about him a lot, you've been spending way more time with him than you have before, and you frequently sleep over at each other’s house.”

I poured. “You can't use that last one against me. You’d be welcome to sleepover, too, if your parents weren't so conservative.”

Jess glared at me. “Okay. You have a point there. Still! I mean, c'mon, Bel! You're practically in a teen romance novel!” I just gave her a deadpan look. “Okay, okay, I'll stop. Well, have you talked to him about this?”

“Huh. Now that you mention it...I can't really remember talking about his love life with him. We usually would...talk about mine,” I concluded quietly.

“...Is that good or bad? It sounds bad.”

“No, not bad. But the more I think on it, Jake is sort of a master at changing topics. The few times me and our other friends would talk about our experience with dating, Jake easily turned the spotlight around somehow.” 

Embry, Quil, and I knew that he didn't really date much. I guess I was just stumped at how little I knew for sure about Jake in that context.

It made me feel like a bad friend. I shook my head.

“No, Jess. I'm _very_ sure that he doesn't feel that way about me.”

Jess clearly didn't believe me, judging from the look she gave me. “Okay. Don’t come crying to me if he confesses to you, though.”

“Won't happen, but duly noted.”

She asked for more info, was given more half-truths, and I suddenly wished I hadn't said anything. It was a little challenging to find the balance between truth and modifying it on the fly, but I somehow managed.

We finished our food, and I was genuinely no closer to figuring things out than before I first got in the car. Soon enough, Jess had to get going.

She drove me back home, I thanked her for letting me vent, and she went on her way.

It was a little later after I showered that a nagging question made itself known.

_Could_ Jake be in love with me…?

— • —

Charlie knocked at my door, I let him in, and I almost immediately regretted the decision. In his hand was a red envelope.

“Hey, Bels. While you were out, Jake swung by to drop this off for ya.” Dad came over and placed it atop my head for a laugh. I rolled my eyes, but didn’t move to keep it there.

“Thanks, Dad.” Charlie grinned.

“Hope you had fun today, Bels.”

He was putting the voice on again, but I didn’t mind it this much. I could tell he meant it. Reading between the lines, I saw that Charlie really _was_ glad that I had some fun.

I imagined that he had been walking on eggshells until recently, and the thought made me feel a little guilty.

“I did! It was nice to hit up McDonald’s with Jess. I ate a lot more than I usually did. Good stuff today, Dad.”

“And you didn’t bring me back any..?” Charlie pouted, though he dissolved right into chuckles.

“Nope!”

“Bels, kid...you wound me.”

“Yeah, yeah, old man. Sure, sure.”

That had Charlie grinning. “Little shit. Alright, I’ll get out of your hair. Rest up, kiddo. Night. Oh, and Jake said to please, please call him after you open that.”

“Okay, I will. Good night, Dad.”

I sat still for a few seconds after he left the room before I plucked the envelope from my head. Turning it around in my hand showed nothing else other than the pink heart sticker that sealed the envelope.

“Oh, no,” I whispered to myself, eyeing the heart warily. I was waiting for it to strike. Despite my worry, I squared up my shoulders and gently peeled the sticker.

It broke, torn right in half and down the middle. The first thing I said aloud was, “Mine too, buddy.”

My ears and brain caught up to what I said, and it just made me burst out in cackles. Tears welled up and fell, and that just made me laugh even harder.

I eveeeeentually calmed down, chortling to myself still, as I opened the envelope up and pulled out its contents.

It was a plain white card with a red heart in the center, two clear fang markings biting into the top of the heart. Below that was some red text that said, “Bite me, Valentine.”

On the back of the card was Jake’s neat handwriting.

_Hey, Bels_

_Uh. So. If youre getting this, I presume we_

_have already made up And...if we havent made_

_up then I hope that this can be a white flag_

_I’m still sorry for going over late at night_

_and waking you up, but I just had to do_

_something ya know?_

_Um. Yeah, I dunno what else to say since I_

_haven’t actually gone through with my plan_

_Oh! Right. Um. I hope it’s okay for me to_

_wish you nice or fun stuff. And a Happy_

_Valentine’s Day_

_Take care, Bels. Big hugs next time I see_

_you if that would be okay. Also I still_

_love you so stop thinking that I don't!_

_Punk. That I love <3 _

_―Jake_

_PS. I miss you :(_

I set the card down for a moment, then brought it up again to re-read it, staring intently at his words before switching sides to the heart being bitten. I sighed.

“Dammit, Jake. How the hell are you so sweet? And stupidly funny at the same time?”

With a groan of complaint, I pulled myself from bed and went down to the living room to call my dumb, best friend in the whole world. I grabbed the phone and sat in the reclining chair.

Each ring of the phone seemed to stretch across an hour of time, and with just three rings, it may as well have been midnight when the other line picked up.

“Hello?” Jake’s voice was uncertain but friendly.

“Hi, Jake.” _Why was my voice so quiet?_

Silence. Then, “Bels…?”

I cleared my throat. “Y-Yeah, Jake. It’s me. I got your card, which was extremely cheesy, by the way. And it was kind of cute.”

“Happy Valentine’s!” I heard the smile in his voice.

“Happy Valentine’s, Jake. Sorry I didn’t get you a crappy box of candy hearts.”

“You take that back, Bel Swan.”

“Ew, you actually like those?”

“Why do you think I didn’t give _you_ a box of those? More for me!”

“I think I regret this call, now.”

Jake laughed. “You ass.”

“Yeah, well.”

“Bels?”

“Yeah?”

“Did you... I mean, have you given much thought...to what I said the other night?” I nibbled my lower lip for three seconds, then said, “Mm. Yes and no.”

Silence.

“Yes, I have. No, I haven’t solved any mysteries, yet.” Jake sighed heavily, his breath scratching into the earpiece. “Sorry, Jake.”

“It’s okay, Bels.” Jake sounded like he disagreed with his words, but was being nice about it. “Will you keep trying…?”

“Of course,” I promised. “It’s important to you. I mean, you came over to my _house_ , Jake. At _midnight_. I’m not going to just toss that aside, Jake.”

“Thank you, Bels.” That was spoken so softly, his seriousness was further affirmed.

“Of course, Jake. Speaking of houses. I was wondering if you’d be open to the idea of me going over on Friday. I know that things are...complicated for you right now, and I just wanna acknowledge that before anything else happens.”

“Bel, believe me. I'd love for nothing more for that to happen. But...I can't. I am _so_ sorry, Bels, I swear I'll make it up to you.”

I expected as much, and I tried to not be too disappointed. It still sucked.

“No, no, Jake, it's okay. Boundaries and stuff, I get it, hun. Promise.”

Jake didn't say anything, and I thought the phone went dead or something. Then, “Bel, thank you for understanding. I appreciate it like you wouldn't believe.”

I smiled a little to myself. “Well, let me know whenever things are okay and I'll be right over. Mm, I'll let you go, then.”

Some muffled yell suddenly came through the phone on his end, and Jake said, “Shit. Uh, yeah, Bels. I better go.” I thought he sounded upset. “I'm glad you called, hun. Until...well, you know.”

“I know. Later, Jake.”

“Later.” After a few beats of silence, I ended the call.

— • —

There wasn't any way to really prove that I was doubling down on trying to decode what Jake was trying to tell me.

Believe me, I was.

My struggle was trying to crack open a safe with breadcrumbs found on the forest floor. It was impossible. Especially when plenty of smaller animals have snagged as much of the breadcrumbs as they could.

_Did that even make sense? Probably not. Doesn’t matter!_

For the last two days of the week, school became a murky memory in the wake of my preoccupied mind. I joked to myself that, if I had put this much focus in my math class, I might’ve been doing better than I was.

_No time for self-deprecation, Bel._

I went to bed that night wildly disappointed that I had no idea what the hell Jake wanted me to know. There was just no way I was getting that information on my own.

Dreaming had possibly given me a hint of what Jake might’ve been getting it.

_Secrets._

When I fell into the scene of the dream, that word once again echoed around my skull.

I knew I was sleeping and I knew I was dreaming because, for some reason, Grandpa Chev didn’t make a single sound as I went barreling down an endless highway.

_Secrets that you know._

Dream-Bel frantically looked into the rearview, as though he would see the words physically and literally chasing him down. DB focused his gaze down the stretch of highway, scanning the horizons for something.

_I know that you know those...secrets._

“Jake?” DB had exclaimed wildly, recognizing the voice. “Jake, where are you?”

No answer. DB kept driving on.

He was muttering fervently to himself, trying to calm himself down. This allowed me to slip into DB’s seat behind the wheel to finally see his point-of-view.

What I saw casually horrified me.

There was a massive storm bombarding the coastline of La Push, and I suddenly gained a new massive fear in real life! DB needed to get and that meant braving this storm, or so his gut told him. So he drove.

It took me what felt like miles of being a ghost in the passenger seat to realize there was something just...off about the dream.

_Silence._

Not a single sound could be heard. For that matter, I looked out all the windows through the deluge, and was quick to find out that the highway spanned thirteen, one-way lanes.

And I was in the middle. _Great._

Normally, that would've been a positive, as it would have made me feel like I was in an arcade driving game. DB, though, was muttering about the storm, too.

_You and me both, buddy._

Without warning, the first sound of the dream made itself known. The ancient, sometimes functional radio of my truck automatically turned on. White noise filled the cab, and it made both DB and I extremely uncomfortable.

I tried to raise the volume, but the dial wasn’t there.

Nothing but quiet static for what felt like a mile of driving. Then, I heard a muffled voice. Someone was whispering too softly for me to make out their words.

Seamlessly, the sun had set in a second, and the full moon shone brightly in the center of the sky. It made me want to drive right off the highway and up into its glow.

“... _allowed to call Forks our home…_ ”

“What?” I said, glancing to the radio, as though it would tell me. “I can’t hear you, speak up!”

“... _hesitant at our request, rightfully so_ …”

The radio’s volume had increased when the voice spoke again, and I recognized it. “Carlisle? Is that you?” Nothing. “Carlisle, wait! What were you―”

“ _...needs a catalyst…_ ”

My voice caught in my throat. That one wasn’t Carlisle.

The conscious part of me knew that I went to great lengths to not even think of their names, but Carlisle’s was the one I could tolerate most.

But this newer voice made my heart _ache_.

“E-Edward…?”

Grandpa Chev was still raging down the highway.

_Edward._

I disallowed myself from thinking of _his_ name in particular for all this time. But ever since my encounter with Laurent, Edward was occupying the bedroom of my mind rent-free, baby.

And that was my undoing.

The moment I said his name, Edward appeared just ahead of me on the road. I couldn’t brake in time, couldn’t even scream. And I just drove right _through_ him. He disappeared, smoke blown away in the wind.

I didn’t stop driving, though I wanted to.

“... _that catalyst occurs_ ―”

The radio then powered off, yet the echo of white noise still filled my ears.

Next in the level of unsettling was the fact that I wanted to brake, to bring this weird drive to an end. But there was no brake pedal.

When I went to grab for the emergency brake, my hand found nothing. I glanced at my hand to see empty space right where Chev’s E-brake was.

“What the hell…? Why are things disappearing?”

“ _Bels!_ ”

I jumped at the voice, glancing to my right to see Jake just...he just _popped_ into existence! Right there in the passenger’s side!!

Jake said, “ _I need you to understand. I...I can’t_ tell _you, Bels._ I _can’t tell you. B-But maybe if_ you _figured it out...i-if you just use the secrets that_ you _know._ ”

That was the same thing that Jake told me the other night. I stared long and hard at him, trying to understand the urgency in his voice and expression.

“ _Bels, look out!!_ ”

It was too late.

I had driven right off the end of an apparent bridge towards the grey waters below. Before the truck took a nosedive down, I had seen the moon swiftly shift through the lunar phases until it was new.

The front of the truck slammed into the sea, deeply cracking the windshield on impact―

— • —

I woke up with a loud, rasping gasp.

While I was expecting to be submerged underwater and trapped in my truck, it took me a few seconds to recognize my room.

“You’re awake,” I said, panting for breath with closed eyes.

My hands were firmly clenching the covers. I focused all my energy and thought process on relaxing my grip, taking deep breaths all the while.

The body relaxed, and my breathing became even.

“Nightmare, Bel, that’s all. You’re okay.”

I sat up in bed, kicking the covers off of me in the process. For the first time in a long while, I had no issues recalling my dream. It was already glued to my mind, scene by scene.

When my brain had finished booting up into full consciousness, I stood up and went to the closet to get changed in a hurry. I was a man on a mission.

Charlie previously said he was working through the weekend, which sucked, but he was needed. I didn’t leave a note this time.

When I was a good ten minutes on the highway to La Push, that damned nightmare flashed across my mind. Of course, it was _just_ the crash into the waves that haunted me.

I began to feel frantic, and was very careful to not drive any faster.

_Grandpa Chev probably wouldn’t survive it, Bel, remember._

Fifteen eternal minutes later, I was driving down the familiar road that led to Billy’s house. It was at that moment that I wondered what time it was. I hoped I wasn’t waking them up.

I killed the engine in front of the house, and quickly got out. Billy was already in the doorway, waiting for me. He didn’t look upset, nor did he look excited.

I stopped a respectable distance from the door.

“Morning there, Bel.” Billy spoke evenly, but as politely as he did with anyone else.

“G-Good morning, Billy.”

“What brings you up to this neck of the woods at this hour?”

“I, um. Wanted to see Jake, actually, it’s about something really important. Is he awake…?”

Curiosity flickered across Billy’s eyes. “Yes, but he actually stepped out. Is...everything all right, Bel?”

While I wanted to fully trust the familiar uncle-vibes that Billy was giving me, I knew better. Something told me that might not be part of the wild theory in my head.

_I have to tread cautiously…_

“Um. Honestly, I’m not sure. It’s rather why I wanted to talk to Jake. Mm. If he gets home anytime soon, can you tell him to meet me at the beach?”

Billy’s dark eyes quietly looked on at me. Then, “Sure, sure, Bel. Of course.”

“Thank you, Billy. I’ll be going, then.”

“Take care, Bel.” I felt Billy’s eyes on me as I got back in the car, and I was more than glad to drive off. I had some things to buy before I hit the beach.

— • —

Two hours. I waited for about two hours in the beach parking lot. This wasn't a waste of time, as one might infer.

I was really glad to have time to myself.

The longer it took Jake to get home and hopefully receive my message, the better. It allowed me to be a productive, responsible student. So I did my homework! It would have been noble to say that I spent the full two hours actually doing homework.

That would have been a lie, an awful one.

Really, I gave myself thirty minutes dedicated to academics before I got too bored. For that much, I was proud.

An entire sixty minutes was spent just walking around the beach in a loop. I munched on a bag of cashews I bought from the local store every now and then. The rest of the munchies I picked up awaited in my car, plus my order from the local pizza joint.

_Yes_ , I sought to bribe Jake with food. Knowing him, it could only help. Plus, he hadn’t refused food before.

Why would he start now?

I trekked back up the beach and made for the parking lot. I decided something: if Jake didn’t show up in the last thirty minutes, I’d go back to his house to check on him.

If _that_ didn’t go well…? That would be a problem for Bel of the future. I wished him luck.

So, I was back in the truck, with no intention of continuing homework. There was just too much on my mind, and the enticing fragrance of the pizzas was intoxicating. It was for this reason that I bought other snacks, and instead returned to the cashews.

_You wanna share the pizzas with him, don't eat it!_

That train of thought made me think about how Jake and I both loved room-temperature pizza, and that we learned the habit from our dads. All I had to do was count down the last half hour.

I didn’t need to get too comfy in the truck.

Five minutes of blankly staring at nothing later, there was a polite knock at my window. To my left was Jake, whose pretty and long hair was up in its usual ponytail. Jake’s eyes seemed very guarded.

_He doesn’t look as happy as I was hoping…_

I rolled down my window quickly as I could, and said, “Hi, Jake. Um. Can we talk? I brought your usual, in case you were hungry.”

His eyes looked past my face, widened before returning to normal size, and slid right back to me. Jake had a fond look in his eyes, and was maybe fighting back a smile. It made me hopeful.

Jake dipped his head and started walking around the front of the truck. I pulled the pizza boxes to the middle of the bench to make room. “Watch out for the soda down there,” I politely cautioned before he entered.

When he was fully situated, I handed him his box and he flipped it open.

“Hell yeah,” Jake said, gave me a smile, and took a big bite. “Thanks, hun.”

“No problem, Jake.”

His eyes darted over at me all of a sudden, and he said, “You called me Jake.” At my confused expression, he continued with, “Oh. Um. I noticed that, whenever you talk to me seriously, you say my full name instead of just Jake.”

I gave him a brief smile, which quickly faded. His smile faded, too, and he returned his bitten slice to the box.

“Right. Do you have an answer, Bels?”

“Yeah.” I spoke evenly and quietly. “We both _do_ have secrets that aren’t ours to tell. Only...yours is more of a hands-on experience, isn’t it. Were you there that day in the meadow, Jake? On Valentine’s Day?”

Jake’s eyes became intense, his lips mashed into a hard line.

“Oh. Right.” My eyebrows pinched together. “I have to actually say it. Huh.”

And...it hit me!

For the last month or so, I had done my absolute best to avoid thinking about the mythical world I stumbled into. That meant blocking off nearly all the non-mortal memories I had made since last year.

Until Laurent happened, that is. Those floodgates came crashing down in milliseconds.

In contrast to my response to vampires, the mere thought of associating Jake― _my_ Jake―with magic was something of a reality-shattering thing.

Meeting a slew of people who were vamps pretending to be human was one thing. I had no prior history with any of them, and so learning about their true identities wasn’t as jarring. Don’t get me wrong, I was rightly horrified by that knowledge at first.

I acclimated...over time.

But with Jake, there was more on the line. Jake was my best friend, after all! He was part of my childhood, even if it was only for a handful of summers.

Within the last year, Jake and I had grown so immensely close as friends. It was beautifully unbelievable, and I was so glad to have him among my list of loved ones. Most obviously, Jake was _human_ , like me―mortal, could bleed, could _die_ so easily.

All of this to say...I had so much trouble stating the truth out loud. Not when the thought of Jake as huge canine taking on a vampire―

_Wait! Vampire!!_

By this point, Jake was still waiting for my response, and I had no idea how much time was passing amidst all my wild thoughts. I snapped back to the moment, and almost laughed at how nervous Jake looked.

_Breathe in nose...breathe out mouth, repeat._

“You’re a real-life shapeshifter that turns into a big wolf. Doesn’t that technically make you a werewolf? Since, ya know. Latin and all?” Nothing but a face that looked like Jake’s when I told him that red velvet cake was just chocolate cake...dyed red.

I’m still not sure if Jake was kidding when he accused me of ruining his life. But _damn_ did I commit the adorably dumb look on his face as he proccessed my words.

Jake still hadn't spoken, so I said, “You might wanna keep eating, Jake. I’ve got a lot to say.”

— • —

“...is why I’m glad that you guys _didn’t_ kill him. He turned out to be one of the good ones. I _really_ didn’t see Laurent becoming a veghead vamp, so. Pleasant surprise and all that.”

Jake had his face in his hands. He had been like that for the last five minutes of me talking.

While I was comfortable to stay in the truck and tell Jake what he wanted to know, I was asked if Billy could also be included in the conversation.

I was skeptical.

“Hear me out, Bels. Now that we’re both in the know of the other’s secret worlds, you can trust the old man with all this magical nonsense.” That was when his voice got hesitant. “Um. I figured it cooould be neat for you to, maybe, have at least one adult to talk to about all this magical shit.”

That won me over right away. So, I took us back to his place, we waited for Billy to get home, and the three of us had the snacks and pizza for dinner. We sat at the kitchen table to talk.

And we talked for _hours._

Billy and Jake had many questions, and some of my answers inspired a seperate thread of follow-up questions. I tried to get through as many as I deemed acceptable, while preventing access to more sensitive information on the grounds of mutual secrecy.

It would have been irresponsible of me not address a certain angle of my involvement in Quileute and Cullen relations. Plus, I was a human who knew about magic at all.

This facet had problems, in my eyes, and I needed clarification.

“Billy?” He made a noise of acknowledgement. “Um. I just...have to wonder. Um. Was it...uh, bad, I guess, for me to have learned so much about the tribe from the Cullens…?”

This was a question that Jake previously didn’t know how to answer, and he looked to his dad for it.

“Well,” Billy began slowly. “It certainly wasn’t their place to tell you a thing about the magic of the tribe. But, all things considered, the Tribal Council determined that your knowledge of our secret wasn’t a threat.”

My eyes went wide. “Tribal _Council?_ The Council got involved?”

Billy nodded. “Of course. The Council oversees the tribe as a proper governing body does. It also has the responsibility of ensuring that the magic of the tribe is protected in every way possible.”

“Oh. I, uh. Wow. That’s… I don’t have words?” That made the two of them smile.

“First time for everything,” Jake said. I stuck my tongue out at him.

Billy went on to inform me that the Council consists of five elected members. Among those five, four are selected as Chair, Vice-Chair, Secretary, and Treasurer. Additional officers and committees are appointed as needed, but those five are the main players.

“Dad is a member of the Council,” Jake proudly stated. “Him and the other two members cover the magical side of things.”

“We do more than just magical stuff, Bel, ignore him. The three of us primarily act as direct voices from the community to the Council, bringing their input right to the Council meetings.”

“Council Member Billy Black,” I mused aloud. “Has a nice ring to it, huh?”

Jake grinned. “I agree.”

Billy sighed. “Don't encourage him, Bel, please. You're my only hope.”

That prompted Jake and I to tease Billy relentlessly about anything and everything that wouldn’t get our well-beings threatened.

While there was still so much to dive into with Billy and Jake individually, I focused on the fact that I wasn’t alone in this world of magic anymore. It was nice to be back with my other family again.

— • —

Throughout the rest of my stay, Jake was extremely glad to be able to see me again. There was still a lot he couldn’t tell me, but that was okay.

I just wanted to soak up as much of his sunshine as possible, no matter what.

At some point during my stay, Billy pulled me aside to apologize for how he treated me before I guessed the secret. I forgave him, as I definitely understood more of the kind of pressure he was under.

I still had plenty to be anxious about, though I tried to not think too much about it.

Most of this stemmed from the fact that I was stuck between two awful things: Victoria still hunting me down or the Volturi somehow finding out that I knew about vampires.

Later on in the evening when I said I should probably get going, Jake volunteered to go with me on the drive. This confused me.

“How will you get home, then?”

“I’ll run back, don’t worry about it. I’m going with you.” Jake spoke in his usual tone of voice, but there was an undercurrent of seriousness I picked up on. I didn’t question it, and went on to give Billy a good night hug.

On the drive home, I was quiet. Driving at night was still a little creepy just in general, and I was intensely focused on the dark roads. I did my best to not think about the dark.

“Bels, you’re going to snap the wheel in two if you grip it any tighter.”

Surprised by what he said, I glanced at my hands to see that my knuckles were white with tension. I briefly stretched out my fingers and tried to lightly grip the steering wheel.

“Hun, what’s on your mind?” Jake’s voice was soothing in the relative quiet of the dark.

Instinctively, I wanted to lock my thoughts away. It’s what I had been doing whenever my mind wandered towards the weird. But Jake was in on the weird. I didn’t have to keep my weirder thoughts away from him anymore.

I chose to be a little sarcastic.

“Oh, not much, really. Just the fact that my best friend is basically a _werewolf_ capable of destroying _vampires_ , now. Add on how I suddenly am part of _another_ world full of formerly fictional creatures, and you have a very conflicted, stressed out, average _human_!”

“Did you take a drama class back in Phoenix, Bels? That was just a little dramatic for someone who was around _vampires_ for the last year.”

That was all I needed to pull the truck over to the side of the road and turn on my emergency lights.

“Dramatic? For what, being worried about you being hurt on the off chance some rogue vamp gets too close to town? Or Embry? Are we waiting for Quil to join up, too? Jake, I―”

While I was already gearing up to unload all it was that I had backlogged in my notebooks, my words stopped dead in my throat. Jake’s face crumpled when I mentioned Quil, and I knew that I crossed a line.

“Oh. Oh, Jake, no, I-I’m sorry, I didn’t mean that. Is...is Quil expected…?”

“Yeah,” Jake said morosely. “Yeah. Just a matter of time, now.”

Clearly, he wasn’t fond of the idea of Quil becoming a shifter, too. In light of not going to La Push for more than a month, there was clearly a lot that I had missed on his side of things.

_Way to go, Bel..._

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> As I mentioned in the a03 chapter 11 update, I am going to try to make the Quileutes, ya know, an actual group of people with an identity all of their own...that happen to have a fictional backdrop of magic. That being said, the brief bit of info regarding the real-life Quileute Tribal Council was from their website ([https://quileutenation.org/](url)). Poke around there for more info about the Quiluete tribe overall! Really neat stuff to briefly learn about.
> 
> Also, kindly remember that the Quileute tribe is still looking to relocate the at-risk aspects of their community to higher ground. Please consider donating if you can, or check out this link and consider giving it a share ([https://mthg.org/](url)).


	23. A Young Heart

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Chapter 22
> 
> With the help of his loved ones, Bel begins to bring himself together again, piece by piece.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So. It's been a while. Hope y'all have been well. I can't say I've been too well, as my life has thrown me curve ball after fucking curve ball since my last update. Been an emotional and mental hell. Still not too great all things considered, but I'm...here. Existing.
> 
> Finally finished it, didn't wanna think anymore about it, so here it is. Genuinely not too sure how this chapter will be received, as it's just me editing and, well, I think it's okay at least. Guess I'll find out. I hope you enjoy.

Jake went on to remind me that shifters couldn’t control how or when they first shifted. Once there was enough exposure to vampires, they could shift at will.

That was enough to tell me that non-Cullen vampires had been around town recently, due to the extra werewolves. I tried not to dwell too much on the context behind that fact.

To answer a previous question I had, Jake confirmed that he and a few other shifters had called jokingly themselves werewolves. He got me into saying it, too.

However, “shifters” was the more accepted vernacular.

Jake’s mood took a bit of a dive as he told me how each of the other werewolves were equally downcast over Quil’s possible shifting. Not to mention how being a werewolf deeply impacted their personal lives.

“We’re all about secrecy, just like the vamps are,” Jake explained. “It's just difficult because we have to keep the secret from the _rest_ of the tribe, too.”

“What? Why? I thought that the tribe grew up on stories about its magic?”

Since I was officially informed by Billy and Jake, I had come to learn that the Quileutes had passed down the tribe’s history from one generation to the next. This included the cautionary tale about the first vampire that found the tribe, and the consequential shifters as a result of that meeting.

“Yeah, we all grew up on those stories, those of us that came from a werewolf descendant. But that's the thing, hun, no one on the tribe _outside the magic_ knows about it.”

“That...would explain a lot,” I said slowly, truly thinking aloud about this in greater detail. “It would explain why the magical part of the tribe has to rely on the Cullens every now and then.”

Jake nodded in quiet approval, and I was on a roll.

“And…it also covers why you need regular people in on the secret, too. It just...makes things more convenient, really.”

What I didn't mention was how I thought that the Cullens—and other vegetarian vampires in permanent or semi-permanent settlements—could also get around the mortal world as needed. There were plenty of reasons to require some degree of human contact and access.

_I'm fairly certain that the Cullens gotta get legal documents…illegally, somehow and for somewhy._

“Yeah, pretty much,” Jake said. “But anyways. No one in my generation of magic really believes these stories. I mean, my friends and I didn't even suspect that vamps were real up until _we_ shifted.”

“Oh yeah, huh. Good point.”

“And then there’s my dad. He saw my great-grandpa actually _change_ right in front of his eyes.”

My jaw dropped.

“Yep. I know. My grandpa sat little kid Dad down to watch old Ephraim, Quil II, and Levy turn into wolves and go off for a run.”

“That’s...unbelievable? I can’t imagine being a kid and watching my relatives turning into _wolves!!_ ”

“Believe it.”

“Okay, Naruto, calm down.”

Jacob smirked. “But yeah. Dad never shifted, obviously, but he had a front row ticket to the magic. Looking back on it, Dad’s old superstitions weren’t so crazy or unfounded after all.”

“Well, some of them were unfounded. But just some.”

“That’s fair.”

I sat back, lightly drumming my fingers on the steering wheel for something to do. I had plenty to marinate on this bit of magical trivia in relation to some of the Quileute people I knew.

It was a lot to take in. On this side of an increased mental capacity for handling the abnormal, though, I was doing loads better than I had with vampires.

Bringing it back to Quil, I did some thinking.

Jake told me that shifting definitely wasn’t something he wanted for himself. At the same time, he was infinitely glad that he didn’t have to go at it alone.

Thankfully, Jake had the absolute support and guidance from the other werewolves protecting La Push.

Sam Uley was the first one to shift, and was the leader of the werewolves. Second in command was Jared Cameron, and third was Paul Lahote. I only recognized Sam by name.

Those three made up what some affectionately called “Sam’s Pack,” as they were the first werewolves of their generation. This meant that Jacob and Embry were part of Sam’s “pack,” too.

Jake had some stuff to say about the pack.

“I’m gonna be real,” Jake began. “There’s some pretty sick perks to suddenly being a werewolf.”

Werewolves in their normal human forms were inherently far stronger than the average person. They had increased strength, agility, and endurance due to their big wolf forms, which made hunting vampires far more easy.

_Jake_ would _be all jazzed about the benefits package, wouldn’t he?_

“What’s that leech’s name, Bels? The one with you in the meadow that day?”

“Laurent?”

“Yeah, Laurent! After you ran off, we tailed him for a while before Sam thought to walk on two legs and have a talk. It’s a good thing that vamps have such stellar hearing, because I’m not sure he would’ve circled back if Sam hadn’t done that.”

“Whoa! You...you guys actually _talked_ to him?”

“Yeah?” Jake gave me a look. “Why all the surprise?”

“Uh. Well. I just...figured that there would be less questions and more fighting a rogue vampire that seemed to be toying with his food.”

Jake winced at my word choice. “Fair assumption, awful imagery. Well, if this was any other red-eyed vamp, yeah, we probably would’ve attacked them. But we didn’t, since it was clear that you knew each other.”

I didn’t know what to say to that, really.

While I had actively imagined plenty of ways to have a conversation about vampires with Jake the _shapeshifter_ , I hadn’t thought of this.

“I can see the gears turning in your head, Bels.”

“Shush.” Jake sighed, but nodded. “I guess I’m just wondering why you all spared Laurent in the end. Especially with the way that the Cullens affect you and the others. Care to explain?”

“Weren’t you listening, ya dork?” My eyebrow raised in clear confusion. “You were talking to him, he was talking back, and you weren’t on your way to becoming his dinner. Er, sorry. I meant…”

“No no, it’s a fair point. No blood, no foul.” I winked for good measure, and Jake just shook his head.

“Some of the others wanted to take him down, sure. But Sam was more worried about your safety, and he took my idea of, ya know, _talking_ to him before we considered attacking.”

“That’s really cool of you _and_ Sam. Unexpected, but cool.”

“Jeez, no need for sounding so surprised. Kidding. I’m also guessing it’s true that Laurent turned veghead because of the Cullens?”

“Well, partially, I guess. He was told about the other family of veggie vamps that live in Alaska and went to visit them. He must have liked their way of life if he’s staying there. And now he's all golden eyed.”

“Oh my god, now I wanna play _GoldenEye_ again!”

“Focus, Jake.”

“Right. Well. Good for Laurent, I guess.”

“And good for you for not attacking him. Thanks for that.”

I didn’t know why I thanked Jake. Laurent probably still had plenty of issues sticking to his new diet, but I wanted to give him the benefit of the doubt.

_I’m still alive, after all._

“Weirdo.”

“Is it so weird to appreciate an acquaintance not dying?”

“A little, seeing as you don’t actually _know_ him.”

“I know him enough to not want him dead, especially since he was just passing through and didn’t harm any humans, _including me._ ”

“...Touché, Swan. Touché.”

— • —

February came and went. Day by day, I felt my depression gradually lessen. Some days were still gloom and doom―literally and figuratively―but they were manageable.

I had my fabulous family to thank for this.

All things considered, there was a finite amount of topics that I could truly dive into with Angie, Jess, and Eric. It was such a lovely change of pace to get lost in normal high school stuff, like a human teen should.

Charlie, meanwhile, was part of my daily routine and big picture sorts of sanity. I looked forward to dinnertime, conversation, and doing nothing together.

The living room was certainly being lived in, lovingly so.

When I was largely overwhelmed by the amounts of magic around me, I turned to Jake and Billy first and foremost. Though I mostly confided in the latter, as he was more experienced in life with magic.

And, obviously, Jake needed more support instead of having to give _me_ support.

I had spent as much time as I could up in La Push. That being said, Billy had to lay down the law every now and then and temporarily ground me from their house.

Jake’s schoolwork and mental health were prioritized. “It’s not like I could go to a therapist for all this shit,” he once joked.

While I had my own mental burdens to deal with, Jake and the other werewolves his age were directly caught between magic and mundane. Their bodies underwent literal changes, far more than what puberty promised.

There was also only so much that I could help Jake with, and that was where Sam Uley’s crew came in. Oh, and the other nor-magical adults who knew about the secret within the tribe.

I privately commended Jake and the others for doing what they do.

Not many can function as members of mundane society whilst being part-magical being. For that matter, I wondered how many other werewolves wandered the world.

_The tribe couldn’t be the only gaggle of shifters, right?_

On the other hand, the Quileute shifters didn’t have a choice in their shifting.

This rubbed me the wrong way the more and more I thought about it. They obviously didn’t ask for it, and it wasn’t like the first shifters knew what was going on.

Obviously, the Cullen's were to blame there.

I imagined that Ephraim’s generation had an idea that vampires caused the shift, as they probably had the word of mouth warning. Despite that, Ephraim still allowed the then-five Cullens to occupy part of their territory.

He didn’t have to, yet he still did.

I would have loved to know more about this choice despite that. The impact it would inevitably have on the following generations of shifters felt beyond my scope.

And then, there was Quil.

While Jake was continually vying for the balance between high school kid and werewolf guardian, he still wasn’t able to tell Quil anything. Embry took this a little harder, but the both of them suffered for having to intentionally ignore their friend.

Sadly, I was required to avoid him, too.

I didn’t, because that would’ve been messed up. Still. I definitely wasn’t able to see him as much as I would have liked.

Even after I found out about Jake’s magical identity, I continued to spend time with Quil. While I knew that he had other friends outside of Jake and Embry, he incredibly missed his two best friends.

And I wasn’t about to just disappear on him after Embry and Jake did, albeit against their will.

A little after I learned about the shifters, I made the drive up to First Beach to meet up with Quil just so we could hang out every once in a while.

It sucked to know so much more than Quil and not be able to share. I had to lie to him whenever he’d ask too many questions, which I hated to do, but I had no choice.

Beach days with Quil weren’t as awkward as I had feared they’d be.

More than anything, I just wanted to be sure that Quil was feeling loved and a little less lonely in all the mystery on his part. We mostly ate pizza in relative silence in my truck, save for my crap radio playing.

I was sad during these visits, but nowhere near as much as my friend.

Quil thanked me for seeing him by the time he wanted to go be alone, each time. I futilely tried to remind him that he didn’t need to thank me for anything. I didn’t manage to convince him of that.

All of that went out the window because, surprise, Quil shifted, too.

— • —

“...and of _course_ I beat him. Obviously. Did you ever doubt that I would, Bel?” Quil said, reaching a gloating tone near the end. He looked smug as hell, too.

Embry, palms in his hands, groaned, “I wish Embry never shifted, oh my god.”

“How can he be even more annoying now when he was already pretty annoying to begin with,” Jake drawled monotonously. His eyes notably stared into eternal nothingness.

Quil ignored them, happily continuing on to regale me with the story of his first race through the woods as a wolf against Embry. Again.

While I was marginally over the story, I kept quiet and let Quil speak since he was so happy.

It was the first Saturday of March, and with Quil’s inception as a shifter, Fang Hunter was allowed to meet the rest of the werewolves.

And yes, I was dubbed as the aforementioned Fang Hunter, courtesy of one Jared Cameron.

Jared, the self-proclaimed funny man in Sam’s pack (“Stop calling us a pack!” Sam exclaimed every time it was mentioned), was apparently fond of giving nicknames.

“Just ignore him,” Emily said after introducing herself. “We try to.”

“ _Try_ being the operative word!” Jared called out, followed by, “Ow! Sam, why?!”

The guys had all congregated at Emily Young’s house, which she shared with her cousin, Leah Clearwater, and Sam. The three of them had come to be known as the Trinity, a nickname I appreciated.

Emily and Leah were outliers in the group for a few reasons.

For one thing, they were the only two girls amidst an absolute sausage fest. I felt bad for them, but Leah quickly quelled that concern.

“We don’t take any of their shit,” she had said cooly while reading a magazine. “They’re all mostly just noise, no real bite to them.”

Emily nodded. “It’s fun to put them in their places. Paul and Jared, especially.”

“Don’t get me started on Paul,” Leah said under her breath.

For another, they were some of the few non-magical Quileutes to be in on the secret. Leah was a Clearwater, and I learned that her parents were also involved with the magic.

Her mom, Sue, was a nurse at the hospital that Carlisle worked at, and he donated as many supplies as she needed to care of the reservation’s shifters. I knew that her dad, Harry, was a Council Member.

Emily herself was a teacher at the Tribal School, and, while she wasn’t on the Council, she was welcomed in on the secret through Leah.

“Reluctantly, I might add,” Leah said, rolling her eyes. Emily had followed Sam and Leah into the forest, eavesdropped on a conversation they were having, and witnessed Sam shift.

“She bugged me about it for a whole day before I caved,” Leah added. “I love my cousin, but she’s a real pain in the ass sometimes.”

“Leah, I’m right here!” Emily glared at her cousin from across the kitchen table.

“What’s your point?”

Sam had to inform the Council of that, but it was ruled that Emily could be trusted with the secret in exchange for helping out the younger shifters with school.

She happily accepted, and has since been vying to become a Council Member.

I was learning so much more about the ins and outs of how magic had affected a portion of La Push. But I was more interested in the group dynamics of Sam’s pack.

For one, I was keen for everyone’s ages.

Upon first being told about Sam, Jared, and Paul, I was under the impression that the three of them were all older than me. Coinciding with this was the notion that the others Jake introduced me to were also older.

Emily was the oldest of the bunch, surprisingly; while she looked younger than her age, she was actually twenty-five.

Leah and Sam, meanwhile, were about a year or two older than I was.

Perhaps most shocking was the fact that Jared and Paul were both Jake’s age! Physically speaking, the two of them were just very fit, so their earned bulk aged them up in my eyes.

Jake had them both on height, though, and he was keen to remind them of this fact.

_I’ll have to get everyone’s story at some point,_ I told myself. But that was a wish for future Bel. 

— • —

That first day at Emily’s was far from boring Largely, this was due to Quil reuniting with Jake and Embry.

Shortly after Quil finished recounting his win against Embry for the last time (at Leah’s insistence), I paid witness to Paul and Jared obnoxiously playing _Super Smash Bros. Melee_.

Emily’s living room was almost exclusively the two of them loudly shit talking, laughing, and accusing the other of cheating.

As someone from a small, quiet household with Charlie, I was a little jarred by the excess noise. Jake came over to sit by me on the couch after Jared’s third victory in a row.

“Hanging in there, Bels?” Jake said as he threw an arm around my shoulder. I leaned into him, grateful for his presence.

“Are they always like this?” I whispered to him. “And this loud?”

“Regrettably.”

“Ah. That is unfortunate.”

“A-yep.”

“We can hear you, ya know!” Jared exclaimed.

“Yeah, and the rest of La Push can hear _you_ , too!” Leah yelled from upstairs. That had us busting up with laughter.

It was quick to see that these people were one big family. And like family, they didn’t choose each other and just had to deal with that set of consequences.

My mind pegged everyone to be on a sibling level of familiarity, at the least. That made Sam, Leah, and Emily to be the bigger siblings looking after their younger idiots.

Paul, Jared, and Quil had idiocy in excess.

“To be fair, we all do,” Embry said as he plopped on the other side of the couch. “But those three are the kings of stupid in these parts.”

“And don’t you forget it, shitstain,” Paul said proudly. Embry snorted.

According to Jake, Paul had been noted to be the Thing 1 to Jared’s Thing 2, with Paul being the king of annoying.

“Heh. Paul is King Thing,” I said that without really thinking, and was glad that everyone in the living room laughed. Even Paul.

_Score one for Bel!_

Hours flew by, video games were played, and conversation never ended. Laughter and food were everywhere.

I was so floored by how a gaggle of strangers could so easily welcome in someone they didn’t know. Someone who—by all technicalities told by the context I was in—was an enemy of sorts.

I, Beltrán Swan-Delgado, had been behind enemy lines of the Quileute-Cullen border.

Even if the shifters and those involved in the magic hadn’t seen me or the Cullens as enemies, it still felt that way. Part of this was because I still felt a sense of loyalty to the Cullens overall.

They had needlessly accepted me into their secret because one of their own took an above-average interest in me, a human. Even though I was no longer in the Cullens’ inner circle, I felt duty-bound to keep their secret.

Anyways.

Fast forward to the end of the evening. Jake and I were getting ready to head on out, and goodbyes were exchanged.

Emily _and_ Sam had kindly invited me back to their home and lives, really cementing the idea that I was part of the extended family. Jared and Paul had each given me a hug, playfully threatening me to come back.

Leah even waved me off with a smirk!

It went without saying that I would be frequenting their house as much as I’d be allowed. The amount of chaos that happened with so many people was a little overwhelming, but it was entertaining and comforting.

My thoughts continued in that vein while I drove back home. Some point along the drive, Jake insulted my truck for his shortcomings due to age.

As usual, my response to his trash talk was, “Don’t hate the truck, Jake. Show the old man some respect. And thank you.”

“You’re welcome?”

“Thank you for bringing me along today. I had a great time, more than I thought I would.”

Jake’s face went from guarded to elated in three seconds. “Aww, Bels! Are you being sweet on me?”

“Not when you say it like that.”

“What? Bels! No, wait, let’s go back to the sweetness!”

“Mmm...nah.”

“Bels! Buddy? My man? Got anymore sugar for your bestie? Anything?”

It was incredibly difficult to keep a blank face as Jake went on and on, but I managed.

— • —

“So how’s the road trip plotline going, Bel?”

Just hearing that question made me stop in my tracks to take a slow breath in, and let it out in a lengthy breath full of rapid lip flapping. Angie just laughed.

“That bad, huh?”

It was a fine, surprisingly dry Tuesday evening in Port Angeles, one of which simply demanded a visit to McDonald’s. Who was I to deny this siren’s song?

A hungry boy, that’s who.

While her girlfriend had volleyball practice, Angie, the dear, didn’t have such physical extracurriculars to tend to. Eric, sadly, was also unable to join us on the grounds that McDonald’s wasn’t worth the drive out.

_Rude, Eric. Rude. McDonald’s is_ always _worth the drive out._

“Do you think your dad doesn’t trust you to make it on your own?” She took a swig of soda.

“Partially, but a smaller part. The bigger part is how he doesn’t trust Grandpa to make it.”

“Ah. Well. Guess I can’t blame him.”

“Yeah. Unfortunately.” Ang reached over to pat my arm in sympathy.

Next week was my eighteenth birthday, and the week after that was spring break. As a way to honor that age event, I was thinking of taking a road trip down to Astoria, Oregon during spring break.

Why? One of my favorite films of all time was filmed there.

_The Goonies_ was a childhood film that I had loved right away after first seeing it. I fondly remembered being so happy each and every time I took the VHS out of its case to watch it.

As a kid, I had no concept that every live-action movie was filmed in a real-world location. Which is fairly understandable because, duh, I was a kid.

I forgot how _The Goonies_ came up in conversation (and with who) one day, but I remembered being so enamored with the idea of going to the beach depicted in that film.

For whatever reason, the main characters, a group of kids, head down to a beach on an epic pirate treasure hunt. One of the kids found this stone, coin-like disc, which was a key to locating the treasure.

The kids line this coin up with some huge rocks out in the water. They saw that the rocks lined up with holes and indents of the coin, almost like a map, and knew where to go next.

This scene had been inked into my brain for years, and I had a sudden urge to just go find that beach..

One thorough scan of the northwestern corner of a United States of America map and a _Jimmy Neutron_ Brain Blast later, the road trip idea struck me.

Shortly after, I vomited the idea to my friends to see if it was dumb or not, and recieved support for it! 

Of course, it would probably need to be a solo endeavor, as my friends made it clear that they might not get permission to join me.

Still, they said that they’d ask.

That was in the last week of February, and, as expected, they were declined. No matter how relatively trustworthy I was in the eyes of adults, I _was_ still a driver under the age of twenty-five.

_Law abiders, am I right?_

While my Forks friends were out of the picture, I _did_ have another crowd to invite…

— • —

Okay, so I was probably making that trip solo, after all. I went to ask Jake and the gang, but they couldn't.

The Quileute Tribal School and Forks High had different spring breaks. Simple, but out of our control.

Quil and Embry were also upset that my school had two weeks of break versus their one, which was the lesser issue I was dealing with.

“Sorry, hun,” Jake said. Jake was really peeved and not being able to go. He was the only other person I knew near my age that loved _The Goonies_ as much as I did.

During the following Saturday, I was back at the Trinity’s house―Emily had personally invited me.

As I had relayed my plans to Embry, Quil, and Jake, Leah came downstairs and went to the kitchen. On the way there, she said “Jake, Bel is officially your coolest friend, now.”

“Hey!” Quil cried while Jake laughed.

“I’m flattered, Leah, but what sets me apart from those dorks?”

“Dorks? Rude! Embry, stop laughing!!”

Coming back from the kitchen with an apple, Leah said, “You like _The Goonies_ , too,” and went back upstairs. I took that, processed it, and threw a smirk over to Embry and Quil.

“Wipe that smug look off your face, Swan,” Quil grumbled.

“To be fair, you’re _all_ still dorks!” Leah shouted from the second floor before we heard a door close.

“Hey, dorks! If you want food, come help out,” Emily called from the kitchen, and the four of us sprung into action.

While we helped Emily and Sam make dinner, I filed away the fact that I had one thing in common with Leah and internally began trying to edit my plans for this road trip.

— • —

Nearly twenty-four hours prior to my birthday, a sense of dread settled over me. At first, I didn’t know why. But then I thought about it, and became horrified.

_I’m going to be able to vote...fuck. I don’t know shit about politics!!_

This was a blessing in disguise, as I realistically would have two more years to brush up on the topic before I would be able to cast my vote in the upcoming election.

Yay for that, at least!

Surely, the fact that I was going to be eighteen had other significant meanings. In the name of honesty, twenty-one and twenty-five were the bigger ages worth celebrating, according to most.

Cigarettes weren’t my thing, and I didn't ever intend on enlisting in the military. Turning eighteen held little other significance for me.

I tried to not panic over the overarching issue of entering the adult world on paper.

School was a major factor in occupying my mind the day before. But the b-day gloom wasn’t quite done with me. 

For the first time in a while, I actively thought of the Cullens.

My senior year in high school gave me a post-break up reprieve from both of the remaining Cullens in school. Prior to November, I was sad over not having a class with my then-boyfriend.

But now, I was happy that there wasn't a single shared class between us. I had come to count on them continually avoiding the cafeteria, so I was kind of set. 

They had basically become ghosts to me.

Early on, I speculated that they and their family had simply called it quits, and had left town entirely. But my friends and the rest of Forks would have said something, so I knew they hadn’t.

Jess and Angie once asked me about it. They had invited themselves over to my place, which wasn’t an issue for me, and we had a good time.

Homework was done, dinner was delivered, and I wasn’t home alone. Charlie went to the movies with one of his friends down at the police station. I didn’t know what was out currently, but it must’ve been good.

_The old man rarely goes to the movies, so yay for him having fun._

Following the responsible premise of their visit, the girls got right to the point. They brought up how I’ve been feeling since November.

“Just goes to show that a lot can change in a year, huh?” I tried to make that seem funny. Tried.

“Bel, really―how are you doing?” Jess said. She meant business, as her voice was all soft and warm in that way it does exclusively when she was being sincere.

_Gotta blame girlfriend power for slightly softening the Stanley signature sass._

In the final countdown to eighteen, I tried my damndest to not dwell too much on recent events. I didn't want this milestone celebration to be marred by teenage emotion.

That was a bit difficult, as it turned out. _Shocker, I know._

“What are you looking for in all of this, Bel?” Angie gently asked, pinning my gaze with her gentle eyes.

I hadn’t thought about it much, actually. Her question blindsided me. “Gimme a minute.”

They nodded, and I sat back into the recliner.

— • —

What was I trying to find amidst all of this conflicting emotion? More importantly, which part of myself was I trying to cater to?

There was the boy just looking to make it through high school, the boy dealing with heartbreak, the boy navigating a world of magic hidden in plain sight, and the boy dealing with heartbreak from his vampire ex-boyfriend.

_Come on down and take your pick!_

No matter which way my brain went, I wasn’t able to find a clean middle ground. My shoulders sagged with all of this turmoil.

I started. “Looking for… Guess I’m just looking for some answers. Things ended so abruptly without a chance for me to have any follow-up questions, ya know? And...here I am, now.”

There was more I wanted to say. But.

My gaze fell to my hands in my lap, balled up into fists. I got quiet. I felt the pressure of my nails digging into my palms, and saw the muscle of my wrists tensed up.

_The scar,_ I thought to myself with surprise.

I stroked my thumb over the cold and faint crescent-shaped scar around my left wrist. After nearly a year since getting it, I sometimes forgot I had it. Then again, I tried to actively not think of its origins too much.

Could I be blamed? Not really.

But it was seeing my scar in that moment that I realized something. Something I hadn’t told anyone, not even Jake. _Especially_ not Jake.

“I miss him,” I whispered, eyes stuck on the crescent. “I guess I just...miss him. Is that...bad?”

“Bel,” Angie said so gently. “No, of course it isn’t.”

“I can't blame you, not after how things ended,” Jess quietly supplied. “It’s okay that you miss him, Bel. It’s okay to want closure, too.”

“Closure,” I repeated with wonder. I finally allowed myself to look at my friends. “Yeah. That’s what I want. Closure. Closure and answers. But…”

“But?”

“I don’t think I’ll be getting either of those things. Not when it was his choice. And I guess I can’t even be mad at him for it. For ending things. What’s so special about me anyways, right?”

“Bel, don’t say that!” Jess said sharply; I was surprised into silence. “That isn’t fair to yourself, Bel! You may not know why he broke up with you and you never might, but one thing you _shouldn’t_ do is try and even dare to imply that you aren’t special or worth it!

“No one―and I mean _no one_ ―should _ever_ have that kind of power over you. Don’t let _anyone_ try and make you feel anything less than you are, Bel. _They_ aren’t worth it.”

Quiet. It became tensely quiet, save for the roaring heartbeat in my ears.

_Don’t cry don’t cry don’t cry don’t cry don’t cry._

I cried.

Well after I had calmed down, we just sat on the couch in a cuddle pile. We watched trashy TV while not really watching. They listened to me ramble quietly about the human aspect to all this breakup chaos.

It was just a little mentally taxing to have to constantly censor myself and circumvent the truth so frequently. But it had to be done; there was more at stake.

There was always more at stake for me, it seemed like. Always.

One of the following conversations we had was brought back to...to Edward. That was where I got a little fidgety. In retrospect, I hadn’t exactly opened up to either of the girls much about me, post-relationship.

And while they were understanding and didn’t pressure me to talk before I was ready, they were impatient. I couldn't blame them, I reeeeally couldn’t.

If living in Forks for the past year had taught me anything, I learned that being a teenager in a small town was _boring._ Life back in Phoenix, while also boring, was relatively entertaining despite my semi-solitary life outside of school.

On this side of being a Forks citizen, I understood why I was the shiny new toy at school and around town at first.

_Patiently impatient, the girlfriends were. Patiently impatient._

So, they knew that I missed Edward. that much was obvious. How could it not be?

My first ever proper relationship of nearly a year ends, and then December became a depressed blur. I was a barely contained mess, after all.

“Neatly contained,” Angie corrected with a gentle smile.

“That’s generous of you, Ang.”

“It’s true!” Jess said. “While I’m glad you opened up to us now, you handled things as best as you could externally. Kudos for that, Bel.”

“Thanks. I tried,” I admitted weakly.

“Bel?” I looked to Angie in response. “What are your thoughts about talking to him, if you don’t mind sharing?”

— • —

I did sort of mind, actually, but not for teenage reasons. _Human_ teenage reasons, that is. But hey, I was able to get those reasons out of my head, so kudos for that!

As expected, the girls very much understood where I was coming from, Jess especially. She had the most dating experience of us three, with a fair share of heartbreak under her belt.

“Until Annnngie, that is,” I sang with a smirk; Angie blushed, Jess rolled her eyes.

“You’re never going to let that go, are you?” Jess asked monotonously.

“ _Is_ the pope a catholic?”

Jess gasped. “Did you just use an iconic line from an iconic movie by an iconic pop star from an iconic girl group _against_ me?”

“Your favorite member, if I’m not mistaken.” Yes, I was feeling smug for having gotten under her skin. I earned it.

“You aren’t! How dare!”

Angie giggled. “You can’t let him get to you, Jess.”

“Anyways,” Jess said loudly, effectively shutting me and her girlfriend up. “You haven’t answered her question, Bel.”

_The art of distraction could only be so successful._

“Yeah. Yeah, I kind of do.” I couldn’t help how quiet my voice became. “I’d like to. But...”

“But what?” Angie leaned closer as she whispered that, eyes solely on me.

“He was the one who ended things. He made the choice.” I needed a small pause. “It hurts. _Fuck,_ does it hurt. I have to respect it, though. I don’t want to force something that isn’t there for him.”

Jess and Angie just looked on at me. I didn’t blame them for their silence.

“Not everyone gets the closure they want. I know that. And...I’m probably the one that’s hurting the most, maybe. This is just the way things are, whether I like it or not. That’s that.”

I said that with such a somber finality that they didn’t say much after. That was fine by me. We continued watching TV and chit chatting until they had to go.

While I waited for Charlie to get home, I did some cleaning. That wasn’t to say that I _liked_ cleaning. I just needed to not think for a little bit. Cleaning allowed me to go on auto-pilot without worry.

One thing that the old man and I had in common was an overall dislike of cleaning. I made it no secret that I found it to be a hassle, albeit a necessary one.

Charlie felt the same, and we reluctantly went about household chores anyways.

It was a bonding experience in suffering for us. And when he got home, Dad teased me for being bored enough to clean.

_He wasn’t entirely wrong._

We talked about the movie he saw with Waylon (“He’s known around town as Buttcrack Santa, if that rings any bells for you, kiddo.”), and then Dad needed to hit the hay due to staying out a little later than intended.

Being left alone with my thoughts again wasn’t so fun. The band-aid had been ripped, the wound was a little raw, and I got sad. It was time for my usual pick-me-up method.

Up in my room, I changed into my sleepytime clothes, popped a CD into my CD player, and set the volume low. It was as I got into bed that I had a moment of contemplation. I was sitting cross-legged with my legs under the covers when my eye caught something.

I honed in on my dresser and recalled what was in the top drawer.

“Not like I could forget,” I said aloud.

Last year’s gifts from Edward were neatly tucked away into that drawer. “Neatly” was an operative word as that was my junk drawer. There was no organization inside, only chaos.

Except where those gifts were concerned. I knew exactly where they were.

_Do I want to even get them out right now…?_

No, I didn’t want to. But with midnight rolling around in a few hours, those exiled gifts became all I could think about. They were just the excuse I grabbed to think about Edward more than I already was.

Here I thought I was doing a fine job of keeping him off my brain, too. Oh well.

I was out of bed and in front of the dresser before I knew it, reaching for the handle. Not quite grasping it, just hovering above. Thinking and thinking.

_Edward_.

I missed him. I still wasn’t sure if I wanted to miss him, but I did. I was also very aware of the various conflicts, internally and externally, that were at play regarding Edward and I. Some of these extended to his family and vampires in general, but Edward was the crux.

A big yawn was the cue for me to step away from my junk drawer and go back to bed. I turned the music volume up a little bit, and fell asleep to _B*Witched._

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Uh. Yeah. Maybe leave a comment? What did ya like, what did ya dislike? Questions, comments, concerns? Please let me know.


End file.
